05 x THE ONE WHERE SOMEONE'S GOT TIVO

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Unfortunately, the celebration was over on Colonel Rhodes' terms.

While the party people cleared out after having their share of fun and bidding the birthday boy, Rhodey, adieu, the man of the hour himself had indulged in some emotional cleanup that was underway. 

The emergency buzz session was called, banning the ones found guilty from indulging any sort of party favours. Except for the cake. Rhodey let them have cakes. 

The fatigued twins were starting to face the residual symptoms of a 'hangover', moaning about being thirsty and both of them curling up in their father's exhausted arms. Tony Stark and company had settled for a quiet gathering at a white-skirted table, a furious Elle Stark seated the farthest away from her husband. Between the tumultuous couple was a pensive Peter, a reticent Riri and a senseless Shaun. Victor von Doom and Carol Danvers flanked the other side of the round table between the battling family, sipping on champagne and smirking away to no extent (shamelessly enjoying the display of the family feud).

Margo Stark and Assshole number I-lost-count had still been missing, the most important factor behind Elle's fury. She breathed out heavily as Tony shrunk under her intense gaze. 

Tony hesitated as he pushed his share of the dark chocolate cake's slice towards the centre of the table as a peace offering. Everyone watched the plate with patience. Even the sleepy twins on his chest, flickering their eyes open with hope. 

"How about a cease-fire?" 

Elle's grimace slackened to a sweet smile, too pleasing for his liking, as he stretched forward to grab the plate into her hands. "Aw."

Only, to let the plate crash to the floor and shatter to smithereens. She wore a sneer of revenge, rising from the table with a clack of her heels. Victor smothered a chuckle as Carol looked at the lost cake longingly, whereas the three adolescents flinched at the sound. 

"My baby is out there, god knows where," Elle bit out through clenched teeth, "and you—you had the audacity to do such a thing."

"I just don't trust that stupid boy, okay? He doesn't seem like a safer friend option for Mags," he fought back anyway, weakly. "And you're no paragon yourself, Elle."

"Why, I—" She started to scoff only to cut off.

"Who got the twins champagne?"

"I did not!"

"Oh, well, technically you—"

"You thought you're going to get out of the based on a technicality?" She yelled every single person on the table recoiled at the scalding tone she had opted. They looked to the quietened genius who looked away, gulping with dread.

"Now, I'm going to leave and search for my daughter," she hissed out, low and dangerously. "You better hope I find her or I'll start from cruel and further for you."

With that, Elle had turned on her heel and sauntered out of the little dining space at the end of the dance floor and suddenly, paused in her footsteps. Turning around, she let out a sigh and walked back to Tony. Did she change her mind? 

"Holy shit, she's gonna break out into her suit and bust Mr Stark's ass!" Shaun quickly whispered to Riri.

"Ssh!"

Elle ambled forward with the same angry gait, the long, black satin dress that draped her pale body swishing with the hostility on her face. Bending near Tony—who almost strangely seemed turned on—and caressing the back of her daughter's head.

"Hi, baby," she whispered when Poe wearily blinked up at her, lazy blue eyes holding sleep. She was careful to elaborate on her mouth movements and extend her arms forward. 

"You want to hop into Momma's arms for a while?"

Tony started to talk. "I can handle—"

"You can shut it," she hissed instead. 

He mimed the motion of zipping his mouth close and tossing the key away. Poe nodded, lifting her arms up and Elle slunk her little body into her. Fitting her tiny face into her mother's exposed neck, she continued to rest quietly. 

Tony patted his pockets to retrieve the Iron Maiden reactor he had carried for her. It was a habit of his to carry the reactor everywhere he went with her, strange and silly. He called out to her back as she entered the lift lobby. 

"Babe, your reactor is..."

"You can wear it to hell, Stark," was all Elle said as the double doors opened for her to enter, disappearing without a second glance. 

Tony sighed and looked around the table. Five pairs of eyes watched him with impending curiosity. Slowly, Tony's sad expression contorted to a smirk that one could only presume to be shameless. 

"Brutal," Victor whistled lowly. 

"Are you kidding?" Tony grinned audaciously at him, shaking his head. "That was hot." 

"Ew," Peter begged to differ. "Mr Stark, I expected better."

"What can I say, Pete?" Tony sighed dramatically, leaning back into the cushioned chair to exude confidence. "I like my women hot and furious. Especially with that woman. The first time I met her, she threatened to skewer me with a wrench."

"At least she didn't trash your suit," Carol commented. 

"Besides, I like my women sane," Victor matched for them.

"I like my women sweet," Shaun mumbled.

"I like women," Peter answered easily. Everyone looked at him. "What, it's true!"

"Okay, Peter, I believe you," Riri said, winking as if secretively conveying another message.

Before Peter could break out into a speech about his true sexuality, Rhodey had burst through the doors from another batch of elevators and sauntered through the streamers and dazzle trashed dance floor. He looked beyond exhausted, collapsing into a chair beside Carol who rubbed his arm in pity.

"Rough night?" She asked warmly.

"Would have been awesome if it weren't for this crowd," he grumbled, pointedly looking around the table who cowered under his stern gaze. Rhodey could not believe that his birthday bash had turned out to be a disaster because of his closest batch of friends. Yet here he was, hanging out with them as the stroke of midnight and having cake. 

"You had to make me mad, completely get it," Rhodey nodded at his best friend from tight lips. "But do you have to be so good at it?"

Tony sighed, lifting Poe higher up on his arms. "That particular talent rarely serves me well."

"You're missing another kid, Tones."

"Elle took Poe," he confessed. 

"I don't think she trusted Primrose with him," Shaun muttered innocently. 

"Who gave flyboy here, the permission to talk?" Tony breathed out with a rough grumble.

"I did," Riri spoke up for him. 

"Oh, so you two are a thing, now?" Tony showed a finger towards them as a couple. They dissolved into awkward throat-clearing and nervous chuckles.

"Well," Riri sputtered, looking at Shaun. "We're—"

Shaun joined into the mix. "Sorta—"

"Kinda—"

"Together?" Shaun finished with Riri.

"Working on it?" Riri finished with Shaun.

"They're in love. L-O-V-E, love," Peter sang quietly under his breath and Riri, completely done with him, raised a hand to smack him on the upside of his head. "Ow!"

"Way to make things embarrassing, doofus."

"You both are dipped in shit," Peter angrily muttered, his impatient gaze floundering between the unlucky duo who were obviously in love. "You like him, he likes you. Just make it official already!"

"Hear, hear," Carol said sarcastically.

"Jeezus, dude," Shaun hissed. "It's a bit more personal than that."

"Actually, it's not," Peter rolled his eyes. "Clearly you have chemistry and ahem, if you've been naughty kids, biology—"

"Don't blame me if I give you a black-eye tonight, Parker," Riri threatened. 

"Make that two black-eyes," Shaun backed up for her with a snarl.

"Make that three," Rhodey added, reaching across the table to take Elle's uneaten slice of cake for himself. "Peter, shut up. You're being an idiot."

Peter complied quietly. "Shutting up."

The table once again crumpled into a motley of silence and white-noise, minding their own business for once on that eventful night. Chip who lolled across Tony's chest had fallen victim to Tony's countless attempts at perfecting braids. While Tony continued to twist and prod, Victor watched with amusement and indulged in little banter. Riri and Shaun were amid a conversation that was out earshot and Peter had knocked his head back to catch a little sleep. 

Carol placed her cheek over Rhodey's shoulder, watching the table in amusement. 

"What's up?" Rhodey asked. 

"This is more gratifying than your wild party," Carol laughed, into his shoulder and shook her head. "Just these people, a little laughter, and banter, kids—this is the life."

"Yeah?" Rhodey chuckled. "You should try and be around these people, twenty-four-by-seven. I've thought of grounding myself at an asylum at times."

"Yeah, and given that you have another addition to this group?"

Rhodey looked taken-aback. "What addition?"

"Are you that dumb?" Carol looked up at him with a smirk. When she saw the senselessness in his eyes, she went slack-jawed. "Oh wow, you're serious."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Danvers."

"No alcohol, dark and baggy dresses, emotional outbursts—ring a bell?"

Rhodey blinked. "Should I be saying yes?"

"Duh," Carol shrugged. "Elle's pregnant, right?"

Rhodey and Tony came apart with the same reaction. "Elle's what?" 

∞

Margo felt nice sitting out on the dingy roof, apart and with her music. The air was cold enough to pull herself tighter into her coat and Julian Keller who was stifling silence sat beside her didn't seem affected by the chill at all. He hummed under his breath as he dangled his feet by the parapet wall, unfazed by the hundred floors that dawned under his feet. 

Sighing, Margo yanked the earbuds out of her ears and pushed them back into her pocket. She might as well make small-talk, forgoing the bad as bad. 

"What is it, Jules?" Margo sighed. 

"Nothing," He shrugged innocently, his dark face dancing off the miniature lights of the skyscrapers that furled beyond. He had a thing for maintaining hair, sticking to a close-trimmed, buzz cut which she often teased him for. Julian was, in fact, a talented artist and had a knack for telling Margo off on her bullshit. She loved that about him, someone who wasn't afraid to talk to her in school unlike the rest of them. Her first, real best-friend (excluding Riri).

"Just peachy," he winked.

"I told you not to come," she scolded him, shoving a hand into his side as he chuckled. "I told you my dad hates it when I talk to boys. I told you and you did it anyway."

"Ow," he whined as she punched him again. Another chuckle left him, irking Margo further. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Just thought it would be nice to meet your family."

"Should've given them a heads up."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "Shoulda."

"They're a big gang, I have to give it to you," she breathed out softly, palming her forehead in reluctance. What the hell had she done? "This is very, very bad."

"What?"

"I love my dad so much," she let out with a large sigh. "He's this huge, dorky, irritating person but he's the only one who gets me."

"You've said that one too many times," Julian teased. 

She laughed. "Right?"

"Is it true, though?"

She looked at him. "What is?"

"That you built the android to impress him?"

A side of her lips lifted as she gave in with a half-laugh. "Sort of. I developed it as a sentient friend from Poe. Inbuilt with a complete functioning supercomputer brain, nanite body like the Mark 85, body-wide Horton cells, chemical formulae H4N2C2—"

"Okay, okay," Julian cut in with a deadpan. "Don't geek out on me. That's bad, isn't it?"

"Not if dealt with by the right mind," she pointed to herself with a cluck her tongue. "My dad thinks it's going to blow out of proportion like it did with Ultron all those years back."

"So," Julian hummed, "what if it does?"

"Jules!"

"Just a scenario."

"It's not going to," she said firmly. "Besides, it's coded to my sister. Meaning it belongs to her."

Julian smiled. "That's adorable."

"I mean, it can only be reset if she commands with her own resonance," Margo input, mirroring his expression. "Kind of like her own way of saying 'thank you and goodbye' to JOCASTA before she shuts herself down."

"I'll say it again, Margo: you are a brilliant human being."

Margo mimed the motion of tipping a tophat. "Thank you."

Behind them, the unfastened door to the rooftop bashed open. Behind it stood Margo's mother, carrying her slumbering sister and weary eyes falling on her daughter. Her even dark hair behind her as she scurried to her side.

"Mom?"

"Margo," her mother breathed out with a sigh and a free arm curling around Margo's small shoulders to bring her close. Elle bent forward to fit her head into her chest and holding her tight. "You gave me a fright, darling."

"Sorry," she confessed. "I got mad at Daddy."

"He's secretly a mess," Elle whispered, amused. Margo laughed, embracing her mother tighter and shutting her eyes. Sensing this, Elle smiled wider and ruffled her tresses. "What's wrong, baby?"

"Nada," Margo muttered, relieved. "I just like hugging you. It's like Christmas morning."

"Mags," Elle looked beyond Margo's shoulder with a grin. She had missed out on a certain special meeting. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"

"Oh yeah," Margo leapt back and yanked Julian forward by his shoulders. Reaching out, she rubbed a teasing hand over his head with a laugh. 

"Mom, this is Julian Keller. Jules, my mom."

"Only the coolest superhero after Spiderman," Julian fought himself out Margo's playful banter to shake Elle's free hand. "I am your biggest fan, Mrs Stark."

"So, you two are the disaster duo of your school?" Elle asked with a laugh.

"Hey, I'm a good kid," Margo argued, pushing her glasses up her nose crossly. 

"By good, you mean smartass," Julian teased.

"Ignore him, mom," she rolled her eyes, flipping her hair dramatically. "We don't speak broke."

"Oh, you're not pulling the money card, Stark," Julian growled as Margo continued to check her untrimmed nails. "Your dad's got the money."

"Which applies to me, too."

"Alright, okay," Elle cut in, breaking them apart. "Come along, you've still got to meet uncle Rhodey."

"Oh no," Margo's grin dropped to a deadened grimace. She slapped a hand over her forehead with a groan. "The one person who I can actually tolerate is mad at me."

Elle cocked a brow, rolling her eyes. Rude much? Feels like Christmas morning, her ass.

∞

"Condoms go a long way. If you know what I mean."

A fourth baby, Tony thought. Nope, he could not do it all over again. All the diapers, the breastfeeding, the mood swings, the crying, the curfews, the scolding; too exhausting. And he swore on his baby-making tool that sex on Fridays was forbidden. Strictly. He found himself pacing, biting the nail on his thumb to the quick as he thought of how to talk himself into doing the whole nine-month game all over again.

"This is fun," Victor smirked, stretching his hands behind his head with a grunt of relief. "To see Stark lose his mind is like a rare anniversary in my life."

"I'm two seconds away from putting your thick head through a wall," Tony bit out, still pacing quickly.

"It's not that bad, Mr Stark," Peter mumbled. "I mean, it's just a baby."

"Just a baby?" Tony blew out at Peter, taking a step towards him menacingly. "Just a baby? Well, if it is just a baby, why don't you raise it by yourself? With all the—"

"Tony," Rhodey interrupted in a stern voice. "You need to chill."

Tony glanced at his best friend, twitching an eye.

"Okay, not my best advice," he agreed with tight lips. "But, imagine how Elle must feel? She needs you on this, man. She's probably freaking out, too."

"She's not, she wants more!"

"If this is on a relationship agenda, count me out," Shaun stage whispered to Riri. Obviously offended, Riri scoffed up at him and pushed the arm that snaked around her waist. 

"Well, count me out too, dickhead."

Shaun stammered, rushing to correct his words. "Come on, Riri, I didn't mean it like that!"

"Well, you didn't say it in Latin or Russian, it was pretty obvious what you said to mean it."

"I said—"

"If you're not up for it, don't do it."

"Lovebirds, lovebirds, please," Peter barged in between them, holding their shoulders with a peaceful smile. "Let's not let a little feud to get between everlasting love."

"Carol, can you confirm it?" Victor asked, making Tony spin around to face him, jaw agape. "I mean, it could—"

"I'm a woman, Doom," Carol confirmed with a gaze that could turn someone to stone. Victor, intimidated, looked away. "I guess that's confirmation enough."

Victor shrugged at Tony easily. "I mean, there's always—"

"No fetus deletus!"

Rhodey scrunched his nose at his unfortunate best friend. "What the hell?"

"I said what I said," he nodded firmly. 

The doors of the elevator released open and out walked the mother-daughter duo. Behind them was the said best-friend to which Tony's grimace shifted to sneer, the kid scuttling behind Elle quietly. Amidst them was a well-dressed, hugely smiling, Pepper Potts, who practically leapt into Rhodey's arms to give him a birthday hug. She was dressed to impress in a dark suit, heels clacking by Elle's side. 

"I'm late but, how old are you again? Twenty-one, twenty-two?" The redhead teased. 

"That's all very funny, Pep, thanks," Rhodey grumbled. He glanced at Margo who gave him a sheepish wave. "Margaret Stark. Your presence had illuminated my evening.

"I'm sorry, uncle Rhodey," she apologized, sinking into his wide embrace and giggling when he lifted her up into his arms. "Happy birthday."

"Oh," he cooed happily as he spun around, "my favourite Stark baby."

"Really?" Margo chuckled. "Not Poe?"

"You are irreplaceable, baby girl," he let her go and placed a warm kiss on her forehead. "I held you in my hands and I knew, you were going to be a pain in my ass like your father before you."

Margo grumbled. "Uncle Rhodey!"

Shaun, Riri and Peter were the first to slink away from the reuniting group of friends whilst Victor sauntered towards Elle with raised eyebrows. In his large grip was Chip who continued to doze away on his shoulder. Green eyes scintillated with amusement as he looked at the mother shift the weight of Poe from one arm to another.

"Are you good, Elle?" 

She smiled, confused. "Yes, never better. Why?"

"It's just," his gaze dropped to her stomach before wavering back to her eyes. He really wanted to tell her congratulations about the new baby but he knew, it was better for her to let the others know than ruin the surprise. 

He sighed. "You have a strange glow."

Elle shoved on his shoulder, edging on a chuckle. "Don't do that, Victor."

Victor laughed along and looked to the curly-haired boy who lounged in his night away comfortably. He lithely touched the tip of the kid's nose. 

"Do you want to take one?" Elle asked in a tease.

"Stark would start to cry blood if I did."

She laughed out loud. "Tony was bleeding out of his arse when he found out it was twins. I'd say you were taking ten years off of him."

They collapsed into fits of laughter at the sheer imagery behind the scene. Tony watched from afar as the couple indulged in amusement, looking like a whole family. Was that how he looked when he was with Elle? 

To see them all together, kids, Elle and Rhodey, it was like having an epiphany knock all the wind from his lungs. He was the luckiest guy in the world: who would escape death multiple times and still manage to have all this? And if he was able to successfully have it the way it's supposed to be, what was one more baby going to do? 

"Hey," he nodded at her when her gaze merged with his. He outstretched his arms in hopes of taking Poe off her. She did, carefully passing her and shushing her when Poe gave out a short whine. 

"Maybe later," he sighed and let her be. 

Margo looked away from her father, hiding behind her mother with an evident frown etched on her features. Tony tilted his head with pleading smile, pressing his lips together in hope.

"Mags," he murmured, "come on, I got anxious. And a little overprotective. A lot overprotective."

Mother's blue flickered onto him, amused. Tony continued with a smile. "Look, that android is still going to go through some retrofitting until I say so. After its thorough, we'll see what I can do. Deal?"

Margo's smile was wider than her conviction. "You mean keep JOCASTA?"

"Terms and conditions apply," he raised a finger in warning but Margo wasn't listening, her loud squeal pealing through the empty ballroom as she lunged for her father's shoulder with a large hop. Tony laughed and grunted when he caught her waist, rubbing her back warmly.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She squealed. "You will not regret this, I promise."

"Hold on," Elle interrupted their reunion with a slackened jaw. Her eyes narrowed on Tony. "Am I missing out on something?"

"I'd say I am," Tony retorted back. "I had to learn from Carol that you were expecting."

"What?" The mother and daughter said together, looking at each other in wonderment.

"Yeah, apparently, emotional outbursts equals Tivo," Riri chimed in from behind Victor as she walked in. Shaun stayed away for time's sake as Peter flanked Margo's side. 

Julian leaned from behind, to whisper in Margo's ear. "What's going on?"

"Just wait and watch," Margo smirked.

Elle swallowed before she started to speak. "But, I usually am—"

"And the dresses?" Tony pointed out. "You're always wearing that stupid sweater around the house instead of my favourite black lace lin—"

"Tony," she hissed. "It gets cold sometimes. Wait, first of all, what—"

"I saw you turn down champagne through the night," Carol figured suddenly, snapping her fingers. "Even rum and coke!"

"That was because I had my kids with me," Elle reasoned hotly. "How is that even a point of discussion?"

"What about the tests in the bin?" Margo pondered out loud and everybody looked at her in confusion. "I saw a couple of tests in the bin and I thought, you know, Mom got knocked up again."

"Oh my god," Riri clapped her hands. "You guys are having another baby!"

"Sweet," Peter commented. "Fifty bucks says its a girl."

"I'll take you up on that," Rhodey chimed in and Victor pitched in, too. 

"I think it's going to get even this time."

"I thought you stopped betting, wise-ass," Shaun piqued with folded arms. Peter nervously chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. 

"Your mom's pregnant," Julian laughed to his best friend behind Peter. "Dude, you're a sister again."

"It's tiring being a role model," Margo sighed dramatically and she earned a sharp shove to her shoulder. 

"I call god-mother!" Pepper added quickly.

"Damn it," Carol snapped her fingers and decided to bargain. "Just this once, Potts. You got the first one."

"Can you believe Natasha got the twins?" Pepper scoffed, pushing a hand into her curls. "Bitch had the audacity to let me know over a text."

"For real?" Carol made a face of disgust. 

"I'm already god-father, ladies," Rhodey winked, popping up his collar. Carol and Pepper's arguing retorts poured in. "No fight there."

"Ahem," Peter coughed suddenly. "Ahem-ahem."

"Ahem," Shaun mustered harder. "God-fathers present, here."

"Zyrtec," Rhodey patted Shaun's back with a smirk. "Still the god-father, Spideyboytoy."

"Are you freaking kidding me?" Peter threw his hands in the air and walked back to see the culprit slowly backing away into a door. "Margaret Howard Stark, get over here, I'm gonna build you a personal grave!"

With bleary eyes, Elle watched the commotion blow out and Tony called in a bottle of champagne to celebrate. People were cheering and she could stare with wide eyes and still not reeling out of the shock.

Before Elle opened her mouth to yell out the truth, a sharp and shrill ringing, like that of a modulating microphone, traversed through the merry atmosphere of the ballroom and causing havoc to rise among the crowd. 

The twins screamed out with the disturbance, Poe in her arms bursting into fits of sobs and holding her hands into her ears. Carol stood tall, her stance defensive as she searched the horizon for the disturbance.

"FRIDAY, pull up a visual," Tony commanded and tapped on his ear. "FRI?"

A mechanical, hoarse and solemn followed his command, injecting panic into the hearts of those in the hall. Margo stood close to Julian who pushed her behind him protectively. The still sobbing twins had taken cover behind their mother who strived to comfort them with shushes.

"S-STARK..."

His gaze widened as it fell on the android behind the clear casing of the fibreglass windows, coming face to face with his daughter's Frankenstein. She was more human than him, moving and gesturing like anyone else. She hovered mid-air with a facial expression which he could tell was monotony, the metallic blue glinting between her skin insets. 

"Oh no," his eyes flickered to his daughter who had taken shelter behind her best friend. He was speechless. "Mags."

"Daddy, I'm sorry," she told her father. "I swear, I didn't know what I was doing!"

"Tony," Elle called out after settling the twins and looking up at the female who stared her down. She was surprised, angry and ready to knock the android again now that she really had the chance. Her blue eyes burned with intent.

"Elle," he shook his head. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you." 

"You built this?" She whispered, disappointed. 

"You, Tones?" Rhodey hissed. "After everything that happened."

"Stark," Victor spoke up. "Tell us."

He looked to his daughter who was at the verge of tears, held together by Julian. He held her to his chest as she shook her head, pushing her face into her hands. Disappointed in herself. Scared. Tired.

"Yeah," he breathed out. "I did. It was an accident."

∞