03 x THE ONE WHERE CHAMPAGNE IS BIG NO-NO

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To say that this was the Stark twin's first cocktail party was an understatement. Then again, the only sort of gathering their parent's had allowed them to hold was their birthday party, which always included the same old people and never any of their playschool friends. Talk about overbearing.

"Why do their coats have tails?" Chip asked his father.

Tony did not want to answer the very weird question, muting himself as they exited the elevator opened up to the sprawling floor of ballroom space. He caught every familiar face as soon as they entered, eyes falling on him with incredulity. Wait, is that Doc Ock? Holy shit, its that rich, Da Costa kid. To be honest, I have kicked at least half this room's ass.

The entire north section of the party floor was encased in glass, overlooking the skyscraper etched city beyond and studded streets unfurling out like a microchip. 

"Okay, ground rules," Tony stopped the troop before they could mingle with the crowd. He narrowed his eyes on the first, most important quest. "No champagne. No talking to ex-supervillains. And Pete, you're on babysitting duty. Chip and Poe, that means you."

"Honestly, dad, I think Peter's the one that needs babysitting," Margo input with a smirk. Peter smacked his hand across her shoulder with a grimace.

"Which is why I have Riri as a backup," he pointed to a nervous Riri who had shrunken behind Elle's back. "Riri, you're looking after Peter."

"With pleasure," she gulped. "This party's too on fleek for me."

"Margo, you're with me and mom," he looked at her with a frown. "I am not letting you out of my sight."

"But—"

"Hub-bub," he shushed. "You're grounded, remember?"

"Since when?" Elle asked with a pout, wrapping a hand around her shoulder and pressing her into her midsection. "What did you do, baby?"

"I said I was crafty," she said simply.

"You are crafty," Elle agreed.

"Margo!" 

The yell was loud and boyish, running towards them from the emergency stairway door. He was dressed to unimpress, in ripped jeans and a dark, band-sweater which made him stand out in a crowd. Before Tony could recover from the surprise, another one waited for him.

"Julian!" Margo squealed, sprinting past guests with her arms spread out wide. Soon, the two ten-year-olds had collapsed into each other for a huge embrace and pulled back to slap high-fives.

Julian whats-his-last-name was everything Tony would not allow into his house under any circumstance. Elle was just as shocked as he was and Peter was close to fainting. 

"What're you doing here?" Margo laughed with him. "I thought you were taking a trip to grandma's."

"Surprise," he gave her a cheeky grin. His dark cheeks bunched under his eyes with a strange kind of mischief. "I had to jump out of a window for you, Magpie. Also, cool party."

"Okay, no," Tony growled at Elle, who rested a calm over his chest before he set out to make a move. That was his nickname! "That boy can't possibly—"

"Ssh," Riri hushed him with a hiss. "I want to watch this."

"Daddy's got smoke coming out of ears," Chip stage-whispered to Poe. She only nodded and watched the scene in confusion, blue eyes swimming in impatience.

"Man, you're parent's are here?" Julian muttered to a still surprised Margo, his eyes trained on the death glare that Tony was channelling on the kid. 

"Yeah," she nodded with an unfazed smile. "Don't worry, he's cool with us."

Oh, fuck me, Elle thought. This is not going to end well for anyone.

"Alright, so I am going to take off," Elle mumbled as soon as she heard the god-forbidden word, backing away with her hands latched around Poe and Chip's wrist. "Off we go darlings. Come along."

"Can I stay?" Peter whined as Elle tried to drag him away by the collar. "I wanna watch Tony lose his shit."

"Yeah, me too," Riri whined simultaneously. 

"If you wish to keep breathing, you will follow me," Elle warned them. As if she had spoken the words of teleportation, they had left a trail of dust behind them and scooping one twin each. 

Meanwhile, anger boiled in Tony's system, hotter than lava. He was pushing past guests that streamed out the constantly moving elevators, his eyes narrowed on the boy. 

"Oh, hey," Margo smiled up at her father as he arrived, as usual, unfazed by the venom that dripped out of Tony's glare. "Dad, meet Julian. Julian, you know who he is."

"Hey, Mr Stark," Julian shot him a two-finger salute, smiling away. "Julian Keller. Resident artist and your daughter's best friend."

"Best friend," Tony tentatively tried the words in his mouth. His anger went down a few notches, calming himself with a breath and repeating with relief, "Best friend."

"Yep," he grinned, nudging an elbow into his daughter's ribs. "I was the only one she could handle in our stupid class."

Margo chuckled. "You're still an idiot, Jules."

"Wait," Tony cut in, "why are you here?"

"Dad!" Margo hissed at him. "Be nice."

"No, it's fine," Julian laughed easily and looked up at Tony. "My mom's out of station so I escaped my Gram through the kitchen window. And came here to accompany this genius."

"You told him about our family party?" Tony deadpanned at Margo.

"Dock Ock is your family?" Margo retorted. "Gee, dad. You sure are getting over your grudge-holding habits."

"Mags, you're still grounded," he pointed out. "So, you have naysay in decision-making henceforth. Julian, as much as it was pleasant to meet you, you need to get home before your Gram finds out."

"Oh, my Grams is—"

"I don't care," Tony firmly nodded and grappled Margo's elbow to drag her out of the foyer. "Let's go, Mags."

"Dad," she hissed, yanking her arm away. Her blue eyes caught on fire with her anger, much like her mother. "Julian came all the way here. You can't just tell him to leave."

"Yes, I can."

"You're not the host!"

"I'm Rhodey's best friend and I host every party in the world. How's that for a quota?"

"You're being irrational now," she scoffed darkly. "Dad, why are you acting so uptight?"

"Uptight?" He shrieked out in disbelief. Never in million years did he think anyone, much less his own daughter, would associate him with that adjective. "Uptight? Me? Tony Stark?"

"Yes, you," she grimly said.

"I'm your goddamned father, Margo. You can't just say that to me," he seethed out. 

"You know what," Margo pressed her hands on either side of her head, pressurized. She was about to blow up, just like a cursed bomb, and Tony watched it with even more provocation. 

"I don't care, dad. Ever since I made that stupid android, you've been smothering me. I made that stupid thing to impress you! I'm just trying to be the way you want me to be but you just keep—just keep—urgh!"

Before she erupted in front of an audience, Margo turned around and bolted for the emergency stairwell. Shoving people and storming out with a vengeful sneer no her face. Unrolling the Stark phone on her, she jammed the earbuds into her ears and turned the volume as high as it could go. The world fell away. 

Julian, like a good friend, ran after her and following the trail she had created before Tony could. He was dumbfounded, trying to recover from the words that his daughter had flung at him. 

"Margo, sweetheart," Tony called out, trying to chase after her, just as soon. "Mags! Let's talk about—oof!"

The green-eyed sorcerer he had run into caught his shoulder before he stumbled off. "Woah there, Stark."

"Doom?"

∞

Elle was having the time of her life. 

She was mingling with the crowds, meeting so many people she had only vaguely glanced at around the Avengers headquarters. Rhodey had gone all out for his birthday bash, but not once had seen the man of the hour.

Next to her, Peter and the twins had tagged along with her. To be honest, she ought to pay Peter for kindly babysitting the twins while she admixed with the heroes, especially since none of them was anywhere near bored. Riri had gotten lost in the throngs somewhere between taunting Wanda Maximoff and bantering with Matt Murdock.

"Is that you, Iron Maiden?"

Elle met the light brown eyes of her favourite space soldier, only losing her blue, red and gold suit for a golden, strappy floor-length gown and her cropped, blonde hair falling upon her face that had been stretched into a broad smile.

She pulled Carol Danvers in for a tight hug. "Hi, Captain."

"Oh, platitudes are dead, Ellie," Carol laughed, pushing a hand into her blonde hair to flop the tress over her crown. "You look superb. Three kids, are you serious?"

"Yes," Elle chuckled. "Hopefully, and counting."

"Seriously?"

"I want two of each," Elle scrunched her nose. 

"Three kids and body like that," she whistled lowly, taking a rake up Elle's still svelte body. "Pilates? Hot yoga? No wait, Barre?"

"Neither," Elle rolled her eyes. "Called parenting and it is not nearly as exhausting as being Iron Maiden. Speaking off..."

She bent down to gently seize the wrists of Poe and Chip who had nearly wandered off in the crowd. Peter had started interacting with a few others—was that Jennifer Walters and Pietro Maximoff?—and forgetting about his job. She rolled her eyes.

"This is Emerson Stark," she placed a hand over his little head, who flashed a funny smile up at the soldier. "We call him Chip. And this," she placed her other hand over Poe's head, "is Primrose Stark. We call her Poe."

"Wait," Carol shook her head in disbelief. "They're twins."

"Yes," Elle sighed, tired. "See what I mean?"

"If you mean they are adorable then, yes," she widely smiled down at the two and let out another impressed laugh. "Hey, guys. I'm Carol Danvers."

"You're dating Uncle Rhodey!" Chip pointed out and tugged on Poe's shoulder with an excited squeal. "She's that—the—uh—Captain Marvel!"

Poe's jaw dropped. Stars took residence in her blue eyes as she stared up at the blonde soldier, blinking slowly to take in the feedback of her senses.

"Oh," Elle leaned into Carol to whisper, "Poe's a huge fan. Also, she um, she can't speak."

"Oh," Carol flickered her gaze to the little girl. "From birth?"

"Aphasia," Elle nodded sadly. "Tony and I have tried everything; treatments, doctors, you name it. He's afraid she might lose her hearing too, so she's learning ASL, just in case. But, we're just hoping that..."

"I understand," Carol smiled gently, placing a hand on a pained Elle's shoulder. "She is capable of so much more than we think we are. All she has to do is reach for it. All she has to be is fearless."

Elle looked at her, duly encouraged. She was really grateful and hope her eyes conveyed the message. 

"It really just rolls off the tongue, innit?"

"I have got to stop hanging out with Steve," she sighed. "He's rubbing off on me."

Elle clinked her engagement ring with Carol's champagne glass with raised brows, accepting her words. With a sip from her glass and placing it over a passing waiter's tray, Carol greeted Poe with a little coo and holding out a hand to lift her up into her arms. 

"Oh, you are so precious," Carol gushed, brushing a finger over Poe's nose. "Look at you. Yes, you are."

Poe's shaky hands went to sign quickly, her mouth moving to form the gestures that accompanied it. Carol looked at Elle in question.

"Oh," Elle cleared her throat to translate, "she said she saw you on the telly and asked if you could do—"

"See," Chip corrected.

"Right, see," she ruffled a hand into Chip's over-gelled hair with a laugh. "See your powers."

Carol grinned at Poe, letting a fist hover in front of her but keeping a safe distance. Energy started to radiate from her grip, hot and golden as it lit up her bones and dark veins like battling stardust. 

"Wow," Chip muttered. "You. Are. So. Cool!"

"Thanks, Chip," Carol nodded and sloped her hand away as Poe went to touch it. Her cherubic lips formed an O. "Too hot, kiddo."

"Are those my god-babies?" 

The familiar voice of their uncle made them shoot their gazes to the source of the echo. Colonel James 'Rhodey' Rhodes, the man of the hour, stood amidst the overflowing guests with outstretched arms and a full-blown grin on his dark face. He beckoned the twins with his index who, in an instant, had fought their way through the guests and Carol to leap into Rhodey's embrace.

"Hi—hey, ow! Ow, ouch—that's my—haha—yep, I missed you guys, too."

A string of "Uncle Rhodey"'s and "carry me" rang around like bells and he couldn't help but comply. He scooped Chip onto his shoulder, who held on quickly and tossed Poe into the air to catch her with a laugh.

"Hello beautiful," he prated, pressing a kiss to her small cheek. "You've gotten heavy, haven't you? Woah—careful. You alright up there, pal?"

"Just right," Chip giggled. "Happy birthday, uncle Rhodey!"

"Best gift ever," he mused, patting Chip's thigh that he had perfecting balanced on his shoulder. "What's with the hair, kid?"

"I did it myself," Chip complained.

"I didn't say it looked bad," he laughed and looked at Poe. "And you. You feel good, little miss?"

Poe nodded with fervour, her curls bouncing with the motion. Her hands rolled around to string actions to words and Rhodey, thankfully, had caught on. He had been with that kid since she was born, and as Tony and company learnt to sign, so did Rhodey. How could their godfather miss out on anything?

"Thank you," Rhodey told her. "Next time, you're going to tell me that, right?"

Poe looked away, pressing her face into his shoulder with a shy smile. Elle patted her back.

"Why don't tell him yes?" Elle reassured her. "Rose, go on."

Rhodey backed her up. "Huh? You're gonna, Poe."

She shook her head, giggling into her hands. Rhodey sighed and faced Elle with an equally elated smile. "No luck? Hey, Ellie."

"Rhodey," she pressed a kiss to his cheek with a gentle grin. "Many more happy returns of the day."

"Jeez, you can't let go of that, can you?" He breathed out with a small laugh. "Where's m'man?"

"Oh you know," she waved around, knowing very well who he was talking about. "Caught up in the fame. Been a while since he's been to one of these, right?"

"Uh-huh," he nodded with meaningful eyes. "And you're missing a kid."

"Margo uh," she scratched the side of her face, hating that she was being put on the spot. "She must be around."

"Elle," he dragged out, his dark eyes thinned to slits. "What happened?"

"The usual," she rolled her eyes. "Tony pissed her off."

"God damn it, Tony," he sighed, looking to the ceiling. "Again?"

"Yeah, go ahead. Ignore the girlfriend," Carol interrupted with her muse into her champagne glass, looking away quietly. "I'll just sit here and look pretty."

"Danvers," Rhodey laughed, his eyes forcing with an apology. Without letting go of the twins, he leaned forward to give her a warm kiss to which they made disgusted cries. 

"Ew, get a room!"

"Your mom literally chokes your dad with love and that's okay?" Carol retorted and just to pique them, she pressed another kiss on his lips. "There. Whether you like it or not."

"Celebratory champagne, anyone?" Rhodey picked out two, passing one onto Carol. "Elle, you?"

Elle shook her head. "Uh, no thanks. Water?"

"...wine?"

She sighed. "Never mind."

∞

Peter found Riri at the edge of the dance floor, sinking between the buffet and an explosion of flowers. She was glancing at her phone every now and then, biting her lips in anxiety. 

Upon reaching the worried prodigy, he playfully dishevelled her head of curls to get her attention. "Earth to Riri?"

"Pete," she admonished, "not the hair."

"What's up?" He asked easily, stealing a strawberry from the array of fruits near the chocolate fountain to pop one into his mouth. He stole one for Riri too, but she turned it down.

"Shaun's not here," she hissed in disappointment, clicking on her phone again. "I swear, I'm gonna turn his late Patriot ass into an American flag when he shows up."

"This Shaun dude," Peter spoke with his mouth full, unashamed, and Riri made a face. "What is he, like your boyfriend?"

"I don't know," she mumbled. 

"But you asked him out."

"Just for this dinner," she corrected. "Doesn't mean we're together."

"If the asshole brushes you off, you've got me," he nudged her shoulder playfully. "I'll keep you company. I'm great company."

"Thanks, Spidey." Riri smiled, knowing he only meant it in a friendly way. Peter Parker was like her very own older brother and she was so grateful that he too, had grown close to the Stark household.

"And then, I'll go kick his ass."

"Peter," she chuckled.

"Kick his face."

"No."

"I got it," he snapped his fingers. "I'll make him listen to the Limp Bizkit. Pretty painful. The ASPCA would get on my case if I did that but, so worth it."

"Shut up, Pete."

"Don't mind me—just amusing myself," he mentioned with a wink. "Your boyfriend's pain—"

"Not my boyfriend," she reprimanded in a sing-song voice.

"—brings me joy," he finished anyway. "I've met him, I think. He's a little stupid, isn't he?"

"He's cute," she smiled, thinking back to a time she actually thought he was thoughtful. "And so sweet. He got me a box of Kitkats last week after a bad mission."

"Kitkat is a drug," he chewed on another strawberry. 

"I know, it's cliche or whatever," she said, laughing at his comment. "He's just so sweet, though."

"You said that."

"Did I?"

He stopped mid-chew. "Wow, the intellectual forgets!"

"Holy crap," her surprised gaze fell on the entrance with a gasp, widening her eyes. "Pete, he's here."

"The Lucas dude?" Peter traced her gaze to where a nervous young, dark-skinned boy had exited the elevator with his hands already adjusting the bowtie. He was taller than most who were present, his eyes already searching the crowds for the one he wanted to see.

"Oh, a fidgety boy. He likey-likes you."

"Please don't suck," Riri begged, tugging on the elbow of his coat. 

"Too late," he popped his lips, smirking away. "The Tournament of Suckitude begins."

"He's coming here," she muttered anxiously. 

"One panic attack at a time, Williams."

"Okay, okay," she turned on her heel to put herself in front of him and held his shoulders. Her teeth gleamed with a smile, pushing a strang behind her hear to reveal a tiny, gold loop earring.  

"How do I look?"

"Genuinely?"

"Yes."

"Girl, the only thing you can turn on is a microwave," Peter grabbed her back by the shoulders and shook her out of her nerves. "You like this boy—just go talk to him."

She blinked. "You didn't answer my question."

"Smoking hot," he made an 'okay' hand gesture. His flickered to over her shoulder and simply waved. "Oh hey, dude. How's it going?"

Riri held her breath, chanting mantras to cool herself and spun around to face the boy who had been late to a very important date. 

Rayshaun Lucas was everything she would associate with a silent yet, a roguish boy at the back of the class. He was always teeming with jokes and good vibes, somehow, always had her in a great mood. There was something about Shaun that made Riri want his company and this was coming from the girl with the no-boys-till-I'm-forty-policy.

"Lucas," Riri rearranged her smile to a deep grimace. She wasn't going to give in easy. "You're late."

"And," he swallowed, looking her up and down, blowing out a breath. "You look... so good."

Riri cleared her throat, flustered. "Uh-huh. You, too."

"I am so, so sorry," he breathed out, edging on a gentle rasp. "Sam wouldn't get his stupid ass in the car because he was caught up in making up to his girlfriend. You remember Tia Bright?"

She had to answer. "Yeah, the cute nurse."

"He forgot their anniversary," he stage-whispered with wide eyes. 

"Mhmm," Peter cut in, shaking his head. "That's low. Even for Captain America."

"Hey man," Shaun had a stiff nod for Peter. He widened his eyes in a warning act, tilting his head towards Tia. "You mind?"

"Oh, yeah, got it," he chuckled. "I'm gonna go find my dates."

"Dates," Shaun repeated. "Plural?"

"Twins," he pursed his lips.

Shaun went slack-jawed looking at an unfazed Riri, dumbfounded. "Is he serious?"

"It's the Stark twins," Riri explained, rolling her eyes. "He's being vague to act cool."

"Wait, Tony Stark is here?" Shaun squeaked, his eyes immediately scanning the crowds. "Is Mrs Stark here, too?"

Riri cocked a sceptical brow. "Yeah. Why?"

"Nothing," he said, sheepishly and scratched the back of his head. "Just wanted to see how she was doing, y'know?"

"Ew, dude," Peter scoffed. "She's married with children."

"I don't know how to say this any kinder but, get lost, Peter," Riri pointed her thumb to the dancefloor with a serious face.

Peter slumped. "There were kinder options."

"I elected to ignore them. Now, shoo."

∞

Chip grunted as he balanced his sister on his shoulders and pushed her higher. The tulle frills on her dress were blocking his sight but to be honest, Poe was thirsty and he had no other option but to head to the buffet to quench her thirst. 

"Did you get it?" He asked, holding her securely. "Poe!"

He heard her grunt as she leapt forward to grab two flutes of the golden liquid. Maybe it was apple-flavoured. Or a golden soda. 

"Ooh, they sell Capri-Sun. Poe, grab one for me."

She looked down at him and showed three fingers with a cheeky grin. Chip matched hers as she sneaked out three glasses brimming with the soda and helped herself off her brother's shoulder.

"Okay," he rubbed his hands together, "ting it?"

Smirking, Poe and Chip clinked the flutes of champagne together and Poe sipped from two glasses at once. Chip snorted as his sister downed both glasses at once, burping after she had done.

They giggled. 

"Hey!" Someone yelled from behind the buffet table. "Get those kids!"

It was mere moments before the twins took off running, nearly collecting dust from their fast footfalls as they dashed towards the exit. 

∞