NANATILING nakaupo si Hope sa sofa habang pumipili ng CD na magandang panoorin.

Simula kaninang umalis siya sa kitchen dahil hindi siya pinapansin ni Lewis ay napakatahimik na ng paligid. Hindi naman sa ayaw niyang tahimik pero parang hindi lang siya mapakali.

Nang makapili ng papanoorin ay kaagad niyang kinalikot ang CD player at nilagay doon ang CD. Sakto namang dumating si Lewis sa living room na may bitbit na tray. Nakalagay doon ang isang bowl of popcorn, fries, ketchup, pitsel with iced tea, and two cups.

"What are we watching?" tanong nito sakanya at kaagad na nilapag ang tray sa kaharap na mesa.

"UP!" She shouted with so much delight at natawa si Lewis sa tinuran ni Hope.

Tumabi si Lewis sakanya at kinuha nito ang remote at nagsimula nang mag play ang movie.

HINDI pa nakakalahati ang pinapanood nila nang biglang maalala ni Hope ang biglaang panlalamig ng binata kanina. Kaya nilingon niya ito at matamang nanonood habang dahan-dahan nitong kinakain ang fries.

"Lewis." she said almost whispering.

"Hmm?" he asked habang hindi parin nito inaalis ang tingin sa pinapanood. Hindi pa siguro niya napapanood ang movie na Up.

"Galit ka ba? Kasi kaninang-" saglit siyang napatigil nang lumingon si Lewis sakanya at nagtama ang kanilang mga nata. May bahid ng pagtataka sa kanyang mukha. "-nasa kusina tayo tapos hinawakan ko yang buhok mo."

"What about it?" he asked. Hindi ba nito maalala kanina na hindi siya nito kinausap?

"Hindi mo na kasi ako kinausap after that. Kaya umalis ako ng kusina. Baka kasi naistorbo kita kanina."

Napangalumbaba siya ng tingin dahil hindi na naman sumagot si Lewis. Pakiramdam niya tuloy ay galit ang binata sakanya.

"Hey." naramdaman ni Hope na biglang lumapit si Lewis sakanya at inipit nito ang kanyang buhok na tumatabing sa kanyang mukha sa tenga nito.
Nag-angat siya ng tingin at nandoon na naman ang biglang pagbilis ng tibok ng kanyang puso at ang kakaibang kiliti sa kanyang sikmura.

They were looking into each other's eyes, as if reading each other's thoughts.

Lewis caressed her cheeks and smiled at her. "I'm not mad, okay? May naalala lang ako kaya ako 'di nakapag salita kanina. Sorry if my actions gave you a different meaning."

Umiling si Hope na parang hindi matanggap ang paghingi ng binata ng sorry sakanya. Pakiramdam niya ay siya ang may kasalan sakanilang dalawa. "No. Ako dapat ang mag sorry kasi-"

"Don't be sorry. Hindi ikaw ang may kasalanan Hope. Tsaka hindi ako galit sayo."

"Lewis-"

Hindi na naituloy ni Hope ang kanyang sasabihin nang biglang sakupin ni Lewis ang kanyang mga labi sa paraan ng paglapat nito ng kanyang labi sa kanya.

Different emotions started to fill her system up to its core. She knew that something changes since the day he kissed her. Alam niyang may kakaiba sa binata. Pakiramdam niya'y may kapangyarihan ito na bigla bigla na lang binago ang takbo ng kanyang isip at puso sa tuwing magkalapit sila.

She wanted to push him away but when Lewis grab her by her nape and deepened the kiss and his lips started to move, desire started to fill her system and a fire started to blaze inside her.

It was her first time and she don't really know what to do!

She wanted to push him... Not because she hates the kiss. Oh God knows how she love his lips against her! But because she doesn't know how to fucking respond!

"Kiss me back Hope." Lewis said in between their kiss sharing. "Please kiss me back." Lewis begged her. And the way he said those words made her feel the intensity between them.

Nahihiya naman siyang sabihin sa binata na hindi siya marunong kaya ipinikit na lang niya ang kanyang mga mata at ginaya ang bawat paggalaw ng labi ni Lewis.

And when she finally know what to do, mas lalong nag-init ang kanyang katawan.

She find herself wrapping her arms on Lewis' neck. As if on cue, Lewis warpped his arms on her waist and without breaking the kiss, he lifted Hope up at let her sit on his lap facing him.

They were kissing deeply until Hope pushed him away dahil kailangan na niya ng hangin.

Habol habol ni Hope ang kanyang hininga habang si Lewis naman ay hindi malaman ang emosyong mararamdaman. He never felt this building desire in his system with any woman before. Only Hope.

"God! Hindi ka na pwedeng humalik sakin kung papatayin mo naman ako!" hindi napigilan ni Lewis ang matawa ng dahil sa sinabi ni Hope. Like what the hell?! "Tapos pagtatawanan mo pa ako!" she pouted tsaka binalak na umalis sa pagkakaupo sa hita ng binata ngunit hindi iyon pinayagan ni Lewis at bigla niya itong hinila at niyakap sa bewang.

"Ano ba! Let me go Lewis. Ang bigat bigat ko. Baka mamaya mabali yang buto mo." she said and insisted to get out of his grasp pero sadyang malakas ang binata.

"Didn't I make myself clear earlier? I told you, I won't let you go." naramdaman ni Hope na parang may humaplos sa kanyang puso nang sabihin iyon ng binata. Everyone let her go before. Everyone broke her until she is shattered. And here comes Lewis, telling him things that nobody dared to tell her before.

"Bahala ka. Sabi ko sayo mabigat ako." she answered habang nakahalukipkip siya. Lewis grabs her hands and placed them on his shoulders pagkatapos ay niyapos niya ito sa bewang at pinaglapit ang kanilang mukha upang angkinin na naman ng binata ang kanyang mga labi.

Hope didn't protest and kissed him back with same intensity and desire. She knew that she's starting to get drugged by this handsome man's kisses.

Napasinghap na lang si Hope nang biglang dilaan ng binata ang kanyang labi. Kaagad naman naipasok ng binata ang kanyang labi and suck her mouth.

Halos mabaliw na si Hope sa ginagawa ng binata and she didn't know what to do nang maramdaman niyang biglang minasahe ng binata ang kanyang bewang.

A faint moan escaped from her lips when Lewis started to kiss her neck. Sipping, kissing, and licking her flesh as he continue to massage her waist.

"Lewis.. Ohh. Ugh.. Ahhh." she moan as she tilted her head giving Lewis a wider access on her neck.

But as soon as Lewis started moving his hands inside her body, memories of the past started to flash on Hope's brain.

"Huwag po tito! Huwag!"

Napahigpit siya ng hawak sa balikat ng binata habang patuloy lang ito sa paghalik sakanya. The heat she's feeling earlier were immediately changed by fear. Naramdaman niyang nasa loob na ng suot niyang sweat shirt ang kamay ni Lewis. His left hand tracing her back while his left hands is finding its way to touch her breast.

"Lewis!" She said in a faint voice habang sinusubukang huwag sumigaw. She's starting to get scared for pete's sake at hindi niya alam ang gagawin para tumigil si Lewis sa ginagawa.

Ang mga napapanaginipan niya sa gabi ay paulit-ulit na naglaro sa kanyang isipan. Ang mga paghaplos ng kanyang tito sa kanyang katawan, ang paghalik nito sa kanyang leeg, ang nakakatakot na pakiramdam ng gabing iyon-

"No! Let me go! Let me go!!" she screamed as tears escaped from her eyes. She pushed him hard na naging rason para mabitawan siya ng binata at mapaupo siya sa sahig.

"What the-" Halos mapasigaw si Lewis sa galit pero nang makita niya ang dalagang nakaupo sa sahig ay napuno ng pangamba ang kanyang dibdib. Her hands were trembling as she stared at Lewis. At hindi alam ng binata ang gagawin sa mga oras na iyon. "Hope."

Sinubukan ni Lewis ang lumapit sakanya pero kaagad na tumayo si Hope at sinusubukang patigilin ang kanyang luha na patuloy sa pagdaloy sa kanyang pisngi. "Hope-"

"D-on't t-t-touch me! Lum-lumayo kaaa!!!" she screamed as memories from her childhood clouded her broken heart and her fucked up head.

Lewis tried to approach her pero tumakbo siya palayo rito. She run towards the door and tried to open it but the door is fucking locked! Ilang beses niyang binuksan ito pero hindi talaga mabugksan. "Open the fucking door! Open the fucking door! Let me out please! Let me go!"

Ilang beses niyang hinampas ang pintuan dahil sa takot na kiamnakain ang kanyang damdamin.

"Hope!"

"Let me go..." nanghihina niyang saad at napaupo siya sa sahig. She started to cry again as she tried to find for a way to escape.

Tumakbo ulit siya patungo sa kusina at nang makitang may pinto roon ay kaagad niya itong binuksan at tumakbo paalis.

She heard Lewis called him but she didn't look back.

She can't face the same pain again.

"Tangina!" Lewis shouted out of frustration. Napasabunot siya sa kanyang sarili habang hindi mawala sa kanyang isip ang nangyari sa kanyang bahay. Ang nangyari kay Hope.

"Fuck! Fuck FUCK!!" sigaw niya habang paulit-ulit na hinahampas ang manibela ng kanyang sasakyan.

Nang makalabas si Hope sa kanyang bahay ay hindi niya ito kaagad nasundan dahil sa parang hindi maproseso ng kanyang utak ang mga nangyari.

He felt guilty. Pakiramdam niya ay may mali siyang nagawa sa dalaga kaya ito natakot sakanya.
It took him a couple of minutes bago niya ito sinundan. Now, he doesn't know where to find the woman. Goddamn it!

"Damn you Lewis! She's different from the other girls! You should've known that! Dapat hindi mo siya pinilit!"

HE ENDED UP stopping on the same place kung saan nakatira si Hope.

Gaya ng dati, maraming taong nag-iinuman sa isang sulok. He started walking to the direction where he could see the house Hope is staying in.

Nang tumigil siya sa pintuan ay hindi niya alam ang gagawin kung kakatok ba siya o hindi. Pag kumatok siya at pagbuksan siya ng dalaga, kung sakaling nasa loob man siya, maaaring pagsarhan lang siya nito ulit dahil sa takot. O di naman kaya ay walang magbubukas kasi walang tao sa loob.

Shit and damnation!

He is ready to knock on the door when his phone rings. Tinignan niya ang caller at kaagad itong sinagot.

"Ma." he said. Parang pakiramdam ni Lewis ay kailangan niyang kausapin ang ina. He needs help.

"Okay ka lang ba anak? I had this sudden feeling na may masamang nangyari. I already talked to Eisen and he told me he's fine." laging nararamdaman ng ina nila kung may mali ba. That's why hindi nila nagagawang magkapatid ang magsinungaling sa kanilang ina dahil laging tama ang pakiramdam nito.

"Mom. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin." he said. Lewis never felt so hopeless before. Yes, he can fuck any woman that would pick his interest but Hope is an excemption. Iba ang babaeng iyon sa kahit na sinong naikama na niya. And now, he don't really know how to deal with this emotion.

"Come home and lets talk. Kung babae iyan at ipinagtulakan ka, its better na huwag ka munang magpapakita sakanya anak."

IPINARADA ni Lewis ang kanyang sasakyan sa harap ng family house nila.
He immediately entered the house at kaagad na bumungad sa kanyang paningin ang ina na nakaupo sa sofa at nagbubuklat ng kung ano.

"Mom." saad nito at ibinaba naman kaagad ng ginang ang kanyang hawak na photo album at nginitian ang anak. Lewis walk towards his mom ang gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheeks.

Umupo siya sa tabi ng ina at napabuntong hininga. "What are you doing mom?" tanong niya sa ina nang hawakan ng kanyang mama ang photo album and showed him a couple of pictures.

"Well, I kinda missed the days when you and Eisen are still this young." turo nito sa isang litratong magkayakap silang magkapatid.
"But now, you're both growing up so fast and we don't bond anymore." may bahid ng lungkot sa boses ng kanyang ina ng sabihin niya ito.

"What happened son?" biglang tanong ng kanyang ina. The memories of what happened earlier made him unable to breathe properly. Biglang nanikip ang kanyang dibdib nang maalala ang pagsigaw ni Hope sakanya habang may bahid ng takot sa kanyang mga mata.

He closed his eyes and take a deep breath bago nilingon ang kanyang ina. And suddenly, he started to tell her what had happened.

"Oh son. Come here and I'll give you a hug." sabi ng ina.

"I'm not a kid anymore."

"You're still a kid to me. Now come here and let me hug you. This will comfort you a bit. I promise." gaya ng utos ng ina, sinunod niya ito at kaagad siyang ginawaran ng ina ng isang mahigpit na yakap. Tinapik tapik ba nga ang kanyang likod.

And Lewis feel a bit comfort because of the hug. It was warm and he missed his mother's care.

"In life, there are people who push you away its because first, maybe they're scared to feel this kind of emotion that is new to them because sometimes it can make someone crazy. Or, they are afraid to make the same mistake twice. They are afraid to end up losing again.
And base on your story my son-" kumawala ang kanyang ina sa pagkakayakap at hinawakan niya ito sa pisngi.
"This woman, Hope is her name right?" at tumango si Lewis bilang tugon.

"Maybe she is not scared of the emotion or scared to make the same mistake but rather, she is scared of people not letting her feel free. You told me that she shouted 'let me go'. Maybe she's scared to experience the same thing that happened in the past that still hurt her now.
Maybe she is scared to be the mistake.

Give her time. At least a couple of days. Baka may matinding pinagdaraanan si Hope at kailangan lang niyang mahanap ang sarili...."

Tinignan niya sa mata ang kanyang ina at parang gumaan na ang kanyang pakiramdam. If Hope needs time, then he'll give her that.

"Gabi na. Dito ka na matulog. Napalinis ko na kanina ang kwarto mo kaya huwag kang magpumilit na umuwi." his mom insisted as she stood up and walk to the stairs.

Nang nasa tapat na ito ng pintuan ay binalak na rin ni Lewis ang tumayo at pumunta sa kanyang kwarto para sana magpahinga na nag tawagin siya ng ina.

"Lewis?"

"Yes ma?"

"Don't let go of Hope. No matter what happens, never let her go. Ipakilala mo pa siya saakin because I want to meet the woman who made my son look like shit for the first time."

Isinara ng kanyang ina ang pintuan ng kanilang kwarto at napangiti naman si Lewis. Nagtungo siya sa kanyang kwarto at nahiga sa kama. He stared at the ceiling as Hope's face flashes on his mind.

Napangiti siya ngunit kaagad na napalitan ito ng lungkot nang makita ang mukha nitong natatakot at lumuluha habang nakatingin sakanya.

"I'll give you time to cool down, Hope. Buut I promise I won't let you go. Never."