Jimin is staring at the drawings spread across his bed when Hoseok enters his room the next morning. The sun is shining ruefully through the window shade, illuminating Jimin's tears and puffy face with a stark reminder that he hasn't slept the whole night.

"Hey Jimin? I thought I heard you--oh! Oh my God, Jimin! What's wrong...h-hey? Why are you crying? Hey now..." Hoseok rushes towards his spot on the bed. Jimin is curled up on his side, softly sobbing while he stares at his phone, as if expecting it to light up with a notification. He's obsessively listening for the ding! that will tell him that Jungkook responded to all the worried, apologetic texts that Jimin sent him. If Jungkook won't answer his phone calls and video calls, the least he can do is respond to Jimin's texts. Please respond. Please.

"...Jimin? Talk to me. What's wrong? Did something bad happen at work last night?"

Jimin whines at the memory of the boy driving off--at the boy who he'd dreamed of meeting while smiling and jumping and running and hugging--instead of hurting him by kissing Jinyoung. There is no doubt in Jimin's mind that Jungkook witnessed the kiss. Anyone with working eyes who managed to look out the window of Radon at the right time could see the kiss. 

"I...m-messed...up..." Jimin sniffles, throwing his phone down on the bedsheet. Hoseok is rubbing his back in gentle circles, staring at the drawings of Jimin on the bed. Jimin meets his gaze, studying the images of himself that make his heart hurt. His gaze falls back upon the drawing of the boy in the booth sitting next to Eunmi who is scribbled out in heavy black marks. Why would Jungkook draw himself like that?  

"I r-really fucking...m-messed u-u-p, Hobi."

Hoseok pulls one of the drawings up, his face a mixture of confusion and interest as he skims over the purple and yellow hearts dancing along the pages. "Did Jinyoung make these?"

Jimin wipes at his puffy eyes, stomach aching. He hasn't had anything to eat since before his shift last night, but after ruining things with Jungkook, he hasn't been hungry. He's been laying on the bed, his mind racing at a million miles as he relives the evening over and over again. 

The notebook filled with information about Pluto97 has been flipped through painfully the entire night, Jimin's tears absorbing into the pages. He's been trying to make sense of it--of the gameplay, the person, the family, the wheelchair. The possible reason why Jungkook didn't want to get personal in the first place.

Between crying fits and studying the handmade drawings deeply, Jimin has been researching for hours on why someone would need to be in a wheelchair in the first place. He's considered all different types of degenerative illnesses, watching videos of terrible accidents and rare conditions while his lip trembles in worry. Imagining any of these horrible things happening to Jungkook makes his heart ache as if someone has stabbed him. The main question of why wouldn't he tell me? makes Jimin confused, angry, and finally, sad.

If I were in a wheelchair would I tell the other player? Maybe not...maybe it's embarrassing...maybe he's had people kick him out of games for being disabled or injured. Or maybe he thinks that I would treat him worse if I knew he was in a wheelchair? Why would he ever think that?

The wheelchair...how could I not guess it before? It all makes sense now. The strange controls...the sponge character as a cover up for what he really looks like, his mother making him soup everyday, the physical therapy...the reason he didn't want it to get personal. Does he think I'm heartless, that I would like him any less knowing he was disabled? I'm not a monster...but oh, oh...I fucked up bad...he hates me now...I told him that I liked him and then fucking ruined it--I should have told Jinyoung off long ago...he definitely won't forgive me on this one.

"Jinyoung didn't make them. Pluto97 did." Jimin mutters at the drawings, ready to tell his friend the truth once and for all. "They aren't the same person, Hobi. They're two different people."

"...what?" Hobi blinks at the bedroom wall, his hand stopping on Jimin's back. "What do you mean they're two different people? You're telling me that this whole time, Pluto97 wasn't Jinyoung?"

Jimin sighs, picturing the young boy he bumped into at the bar. The first night he saw the figure, he assumed it was Eunmi's husband. How could I be so dumb? The guy was always drawing, head down--and his mom ordered a fucking banana Melona bar for him! How did I not recognize him right away? Damn it, Jimin--his face said it all! He didn't want to be found out, just wanted to sneak in and leave me his drawings, but I had to fucking ruin it by tripping over his wheelchair and fucking kissing Jinyoung and UGGGHH!

"No. Pluto97 is a boy named Jungkook. I met him on a virtual reality game a few weeks ago, and every time I've been texting, calling, or videoing 'Jinyoung,' it's actually been Jungkook."

Hoseok seems a bit irked by the sudden reveal of this ongoing lie, but he keeps his grievance to himself. Jimin's watery eyes and messy, tugged-at hair tells him the younger is really stressed. "Jungkook? Are you and him..." Hoseok stares at the drawings, which are a bit too intimate to be just friendly. "...are you two more than friends?"

A sharp pang hits Jimin in the chest. It's only been a little over five weeks since he's met Pluto, but the fast evolution of their relationship from strangers to crushes tells him enough in itself.  Jungkook and him are surprisingly similar, shockingly well-matched, and they keep good company. Jimin has never spoken with such an interesting, empathetic person who makes him smile on a daily basis. Shouldn't they be more than just friends with crushes on each other?

"I d-don't know..." Jimin cards his fingers through his hair. "...we both like each other, and we both admitted it...but..."

"But what?" Hoseok stands up off the bed, opening the soft white curtains of Jimin's room. Jimin squints as bright sunlight spills into his bedroom, illuminating the yellow walls with an utterly saddening reminder. Yellow walls, yellow sponge...yellow hearts...Jimin sighs.

"But...he lives in Busan...and I live here. So we already know long distance c-can't work, and he's going to university and I'm always working, so...instead of bringing u-up the disheartening topic of the impossibility of our relationship we just talk about each other and life and avoid a-asking questions about our feelings cause the company is nice enough on its own, and God, Hoseok, I really fucking like him, he's the nicest person I know...he's so rare in this world and he knows me s-so well...and I know now why he kept saying it would be impossible for us to be more than just online friends..." Jimin trails off, imagining Jungkook in his wheelchair, frowning inside of Radon. "H-he...well, he keeps a lot from me, but I just found out the reason why last night."

"Why?" Hoseok crosses his arms. Jimin senses pity in the way Hoseok pinches his eyebrows , mulling over everything he's been saying. 

"B-because...he...well, the last few n-nights this guy h-has been showing up to R-Radon and I've never s-seen Jungkook's face before, so I didn't know it was him-"

"Wait." Hoseok stops him. "You have a crush on some random guy you've never seen? What if this dude is a 50 year old pedophile, Jimin? Isn't that a bit sketchy to you-"

"No!" Jimin finds himself growing angry at Hoseok's skepticism. "I know it seems kind of weird, but I know he's not a creep. I know so much about him--from his family, to his age, to his major, to his dreams and...now I know that he's in a wheelchair. Disabled. Something he wouldn't tell me before...that's probably why he didn't want to show himself to me."

Hoseok's mouth drops in surprise. "A wheelchair...disabled? As in, he can't walk temporarily because he's injured?"

Jimin shakes his head, a thick ball forming in his throat that makes it hard for him to speak. "N-no...I t-think it's worse than that...I t-think..." Jimin, you don't just think this. You know this. All of your notes...all of your theories...the information on his family, his habits, his strict schedule at home of when to eat and when to study, all with the help of his mother-

"I think he's paralyzed." 

Jimin immediately caves in on himself, the words finally becoming real as he speaks them. The fear of cars, the inability to walk on a tightrope, the fact that he doesn't drink...he must've had a horrible accident...and his father must've been involved, somehow alcohol too...that's why his father can't call him Pluto anymore.

But why would he get in a CAR with his mother and drive to a BAR of all places? That would be horrible, that's like me walking into a female strip club wearing masculine clothes. Why would Jungkook put himself through that? He can't...like me that much...can...he...?

Tears slip out of Jimin's eyes at the guilt eating him up. Here he thought Jungkook was just some quirky guy who wouldn't do certain things--who might be a little claustrophobic because of his genetics or something. Not because he was afraid of getting trapped in a dangerous place because of his disability. From the first level...what did he say? He'd rather get books thrown at him than be in a burning room because he couldn't 'maneuver around the objects in his path.' Or the fucking zoo level!! When he said dying by lions was better than being paralyzed--and he started laughing. Oh God, I'm horrible...how did I not see it?

Jimin feels himself start to shudder...how has Pluto not broken down in the game? Perilation is probably ten times worse for Jungkook--he must know in the back of his mind if the circumstances were in real life, there would be no possible escape for him. Wouldn't that be so scary? Plus the game constantly calling him useless and incompetent for being unable to move properly must be so, so hurtful. And now, trusting Jimin enough to tell him bits about himself, to open up just a little--to talk to him everyday like a loyal friend...and for Jimin to ruin it all with fucking Jinyoung. 

Jimin feels the guilt eating at him alive.

"Ohhh...I'm sorry, Jimin. That's really sad." Hoseok's melancholy stare falls back onto the drawings. "But...I know you wouldn't be crying this hard because you found out that he's paralyzed. I know you. Something else must've happened."

"Yeah..." Jimin brings his crop top up to his eyes, dabbing at them. He unleashes the monster that's been sitting inside his ribcage through an emotional admittance. "I kissed Jinyoung in front of Jungkook. And it was right after I told Jungkook t-that I didn't like Jinyoung and was ending our 'friends with benefits' thing going o-on. Jungkook was probably so...surprised...and upset to see me doing that."

Hoseok sits gently on the bed next to Jimin, picking up the drawing with Jungkook;s body scribbled out. He frowns at the black splotch on the paper. "Why did you kiss Jinyoung if you don't like him?"

"I th-thought it would g-get him off my back...I told myself, just one more kiss and then you can finally break the cold truth to him, Jimin...but I guess I was t-too late. I kept avoiding doing it, like a fucking scaredy cat--and I fucking...fucking ruined everything! J-Jungkook wouldn't even look at me! Oh...I'm such a terrible person...and to do it to Jungkook of all people, who's literally s-so nice to me..."

"Hey." Hoseok sets the picture back down, staring his friend in the eyes. "Based on how much you seem to like this guy and how 'nice' he is, I think he can forgive you. It's not like you guys are dating or anything, so he can't be that angry over a kiss, right?"

Jimin's shoulders droop. "Hobi, this is the paralyzed guy in a wheelchair who got his hopes up, drove up to Seoul in a fucking car and sat in a fucking bar filled with alcohol for the last three d-days, even though those things probably traumatize h-him because I think that has something to do with how he became p-paralyzed...and then he comes to see me, a stupid, blind, and fucking heartless monster who ruins all those hopes that he's been building up all this time because he thought maybe I'd treat h-him nicely despite his disability, despite the countless other people who have probably looked down upon him or thought he was weak for being in a wheelchair-"

"Jimin, slow down-"

"-and I didn't even get to say Hi Jungkook and run and hug him like I've been picturing it all this time because I was too busy getting pushed around by Jinyoung and playing the fucking lazy victim when I could have totally fucking told Jinyoung to get the fuck away because I don't like him and I actually really really like Jungkook-"

"Jimin!" Hoseok lays a hand down on Jimin's thigh. "Stop overanalyzing things! Sure, maybe the kiss made him sad, but you act like he's some angel who can do no wrong! Just because this Jungkook guy is paralyzed and it's unfortunate that he has to live under those circumstances doesn't mean you have to blow this up to make yourself the devil! He's human too, he makes mistakes! If Jungkook was healthy and could walk, you probably wouldn't be as sad about this as you are now...and I think that's the whole point of him not telling you! Do you really think he wants pity? Would you want someone to pity you--to step on eggshells just because they found out you were different from them? Jungkook's no different from you, Jimin--do you remember all those days you came crying to me whenever people assumed you were gay and called you out for being weak? When you came home bawling because they called you a faggot?"

Jimin nods weakly.

"Exactly! Jungkook probably doesn't want you to treat him any different because he's in a wheelchair or has these weird fears like you said before. That would change the dynamic between you two--I mean, you automatically think of him differently because of his wheelchair now, right?"

Jimin inhales deeply, thinking about what Hoseok is saying. He thinks about himself...and the trauma that he personally has locked away in his brain that might change people's opinions on him if they found out. Not only about being gay, but about being sexually abused--about naturally disliking women because of trauma he'd experienced back in high school. About the girl who'd only wanted him for his body, and not for him, Park Jimin. The girl who'd threatened him at knife point if he didn't have sex with her all those nights. The crazy girl that took what she'd wanted throughout the years, who scarred him psychologically. The girl that no other living soul in the world knew about, not even Hoseok. The girl who had only gotten off of his back after she'd been forced to move because her wealthy father got a job in a different city.

Would Jungkook treat me differently if he found out I was subjected to years of sexual abuse? I hope not...I wouldn't want him to treat me any differently, or walk around eggshells whenever he was with me. This isn't any different.

"I...know..." Jimin's nose slowly grows numb with sniffling, and his entire body feels so exhausted. He still hasn't changed out of his clothes from Radon, and they reek of alcohol and old sweat. "I shouldn't think of Jungkook any differently. I'll try not to."

Hoseok nods in affirmation. "Good. You need to put the matter out of your head for a while. You're tormenting yourself more than you need to, I'm sure Jungkook will forgive you in the end if he likes you enough. Just give him time. Now, you should get some sleep. You look awful. I'll call Radon and tell them you're calling in sick tonight, you need the rest. We'll talk more about the matter when you wake up, okay Jimin?"

"Mmm..." Jimin collects the drawings with a swipe of his hand, his eyes already drooping at the mention of sleep. He sets them on the nightstand in a neat pile. "Alright."

Hoseok gets up from the bed and walks over to the curtains, closing them again. He gives Jimin one last pat on the shoulder and a vehement 'get some rest' before exiting the room. Jimin stares at the yellow walls for a while, imagining Jungkook's voice in his ear. 'Park Jimin likes me back, and even if I can't ever see him, it melts my heart to know that he likes me!'

"Oh...you've seen me..." Jimin mumbles tiredly to the walls, stripping out of his tight clothes into just his boxers. "And I don't blame you if you don't like me anymore..."

Jimin falls asleep the instant his head hits the pillow.

.

When Jimin wakes up, he doesn't know what's happening.

The late afternoon sun tells him he's been sleeping a good few hours, and if the large splotch of drool on his pillow is anything to go by, he's been sleeping as sound as a baby. His stomach gurgles with hunger, and his eyes are all crusty and puffy from crying. His entire head is pounding with a headache, a deep throb tapping against his brain. Jimin slowly sits up and is hit with a wave of vertigo. He hangs onto the covers to steady himself. A vague noise reaches his clogged, sleepy ears. What is that buzzing sound?

Jimin scuttles half-blind from the bed, mind foggy except for the fleeting feeling of getting pulled from a long, sad dream. He doesn't remember what it was about, but the lasting ache in his heart tells him it must've been depressing. Jimin wipes a tired hand across his cheek, squinting out of one eye as his feet dangle off the side of the bed. Very quietly, he hears a female voice.

What the hell? Is someone else home? Jimin stands up too quickly and holds onto the bed as his fogged mind struggles to wake up. Why is there a woman in the house? Did Hoseok invite Thea-

("I'm....under...poison...addicted to you...toxic...")

"My phone!" Jimin catches the few words of his ringtone, swaying his head this way and that to listen for the sound. Eventually, he is led to a pile of clothes on the ground by his dresser--his dirty work clothes. He bends down, studying the bubblegum on his phone case with bleary eyes. The phone buzzes incessantly against the wall's trim, and with a curious hand, Jimin grabs at the face down phone and answers it in one swipe.

"Hos...seok?" He mumbles, leaning against the wall with his eyes closed. His throat is scratchy with sleep, heart aching from some sad dream he can't remember. 

Then, it hits him. 

Jimin opens his eyes to the yellow walls, remembering the sponge from Perilation, who surely hates his guts for being such a Melondunce in real life. 

"...H-Hoseok...? Is there a pill f-from the store that can fix heartache...or stupidity...or an apology pill? Or, um...maybe just a not dizzy pill for right now because I just woke up and can't walk without stumbling around, I'm so dizzy and ohh, Hoseok, I'm so sad-"

"Me too." 

The voice makes Jimin cry out, dropping the phone on the ground in shock. He curses, rushing to pick it up with disbelief soaring through him. 

"Jungkook? Jungkook, listen--I'm so s-sorry that we had to meet like that and I'm really sorry you had to see me...doing that with Jinyoung but I swear I don't like him like that and I was just being a stupid, moronic, people-pleaser but I'm not trying to make excuses and I totally realize that I'm so stupid-"

"You're late to the game." Jungkook's voice is almost scary with how stiff it is. "I've been waiting for 20 minutes."

Jimin's heart drops at Jungkook's disappointed tone of voice. He pulls the phone away to check the time and swears at the numbers. 2:24. He way overslept...why didn't he set an alarm?

"Oh no! I'm sorry, Jungkook, I didn't realize it was this late, I'm sorry I made you wait. Just give me one second to get dressed, I'll sign into the game right away!" Jimin stumbles towards his wardrobe, banging his knee against the drawer in his haste to get dressed. He cries out in pain, grabbing his already-scrapped knee from falling on the pavement yesterday. A drop of blood rises from his reinjured scab, spilling down his leg in a neat river of red.

"...Are...you..." Jungkook seems now hesitant to speak. "...okay...?"

"I'm okay! Yes, I'm...no...n-no I'm not okay, Jungkook...I'm really n-not and-"

"I'll see you in the game."

Jimin has just barely started pulling his sweatpants on the wrong way when he hears the call end sound. He swallows the lump in his throat, willing himself to get dressed faster. I shouldn't treat Jungkook any differently...I should just be myself. Give him time, like Hoseok said...maybe then his anger with me will dissipate.

Jimin finishes dressing in a rush, racing from his room in backwards sweatpants and an old T-shirt. He doesn't bother to eat, drink, or brush his teeth before throwing his headset on and logging into the game.

.._

.._

.._

A/N:

I'm not crying, you are. But before I lose my mind--

Take this PART THREE PLUTO ROOMS Trailer if you haven't seen it! 

Also, I know this is kinda late, but if you had to choose which player you are most like, would you choose MELONAJU or PLUTO97? Just curious...

For me, well--the players are essentially me split in half, but Melonaju is probably 60% me whereas Pluto is 40%. Jinyoung is only me on Wednesdays--for that one second when the clock strikes noon and I realize the week is half over. Don't know why that would make me Jinyoung, but in a weird, not-worthy-of-an-explanation way, it kinda fits his description.

Have a great day! Don't make people cry! :)