"And then he told me I was doing it wrong--that I was filing the sheets of paper in the wrong spot this entire time and that I had to redo the whole pile over again!"

Jinyoung pauses to take a sip of water from a tall flute. The water seems to swish around in his mouth for a lackadaisical trip before Jimin sees it roll down his throat. It's almost as if Jinyoung's metered silence is meant for him, Park Jimin, to fill in the gap of boring conversation. What am I supposed to say? Ouch, you sure are having trouble with those papers...need a band aid for all those paper cuts? Maybe switch to a more interesting job, at least the injuries will be more exciting to treat.

"Yikes." Is all Jimin can manage as he maneuvers his bulgogi filled chopsticks towards his mouth. The delectable, soft meat slides around his taste buds, gracefully cutting off his forced reaction to Jinyoung's story. He waits for Jinyoung to continue the tale of his first week at work, occasionally wringing his palms in the new Louis Vuitton polo that Jinyoung has yet to compliment him on.

"Yikes is right. The pile took me two hours to file the wrong way, so to file it correctly I had to stay three hours later than usual. I didn't even get paid overtime either!" Jinyoung tousles his fingers through his gelled hair. A waiter shuffles up to their table, asking them if they're doing alright or if they need anything else? 

Holding up his hand in the negatory, Jinyoung gives the young waiter a kind smile. Jimin also shakes his head no, but can't help the flashback that enters his head. The date level of Perilation.

'Park Jimin-" The scary waiter had agitatedly stumbled over to his table for the fifth time, holding out his hands in want of customer strangulation. Jimin had freaked out in his headset, asking Pluto repetitively what the hell is his problem? What am I doing wrong? 

Jungkook broke down in laughter for a response, cackling maniacally through his headset as the female date poured countless glasses of wine over his digital head. 'You're so dull in regards to women you have to either be brain dead or homosexual.' He remembers the game saying. 

"HAHAH!" Jimin laughs at the memory, covering his mouth. The waiter gives him an odd look, tilting his head curiously at the laughing purple-haired man. Jinyoung leans forward on his elbows, lips drawn in an amused smile. The waiter breezes past as another table calls for his assistance, blinking in confusion at the food chunks now flying from Jimin's giggling mouth.

"What's so funny?" Jinyoung automatically starts laughing along, which makes the situation funnier. 

"I'm aAHAH! Um, the HAHAH! Just-"

Guess what game? I must be brain dead, cuz even though I'm homosexual I cannot meander through conversations about law with this man any longer! This is so painful! Does Jinyoung not see how awkward I'm acting? 

"Was it something about the waiter? Or...the pile of papers?" Jinyoung presses, catching the eye of a few onlooking occupants of fancy tables. In the dim lighting, Jinyoung appears slightly domineering over his giggling counterpart. He's leaning vastly over the table, trying to egg Jimin into sharing the secret joke with him. Jimin can only crumple more into himself, tears of the brightest hilarity dripping down his cheeks. The pile of papers! HAHAHAHAHAHHA!

"N-No hah...n...nooo...ahhAHAHAH!" Jimin can hardly string together a few words without breaking down again. The hard glint of suspicion in Jinyoung's eye is too funny for him to handle. For once it feels freeing to have the upper hand over Jinyoung--to know something that he doesn't. To be the one with the power. And all because of stupid Perilation.

Jinyoung decides to lean back in his chair and wait it out, sipping at his water. Almost the entire dinner Jinyoung hasn't really touched his food much, only eating when Jimin asked him how the food tasted. Now though, Jimin's inconsolability prompts him to raise his chopsticks almost sulkily. 

Jimin watches through hooded eyes as Jinyoung nibbles on his noodles. Nothing like how Pluto devours his food! Look, he's chewing on his food like a picky mouse! Like a pompous, finnicky bird! AHHAHAH!

"EHm...ehM...s-sor--hAH--sorry..." Jimin focuses on visualizing boring objects like staplers and the color gray to sober himself. Don't forget to visualize Jinyoung--ahah! 

"Okay. Sorry. Sorry! I'm over it now. Gosh, I'm sorry."

Jinyoung pops another noodle into his mouth. He chews it slowly as Jimin wipes at his teary eyes, adjusting to a more proper seated position in the chair. When he finishes with the noodle, he gulps down the remainder of his water. Jimin's fingers reach under his expensive shirt to pinch at the skin of his stomach--the pinching pain is easier to focus on than the absolute awkwardness of this date. How can Jinyoung not see this? Moreover, how has he not said anything about my shirt? Were Hoseok and Jungkook lying about how good it looked on me?

"Don't be sorry." Jinyoung chimes in a pitch too high. Too high pitched...he must be hurt. I call that overkill overcompensation... "It's nice to see you giggling. You're really cute when you laugh."

Jimin fights back the blush rising on his face. Is he this utterly weak for compliments? He can't believe himself.

"Oh, thanks..." Jimin clears his throat, averting his eyes back to the dish of bulgogi lounging in front of him. Jinyoung nudges his foot under the table, and Jimin lifts his eyes to an easy smile. He has to admit, Jinyoung is very handsome...but he has this air around him that suggests a plainness...a boringness...like he was pulled off an ordinary person conveyor belt and a personality was randomly slapped onto his plastic body. 

"So..." Jinyoung starts talking in his businesslike tone again, setting down his chopsticks. "Like I was saying before, my papers got all mixed up..."

.

"WHAT! Are you kidding me!"

Jimin shakes his head intensely, jostling around his brain. He winces, holding his headset between two regretful hands. "No, I'm not kidding you! The entire dinner, he didn't even point out my shirt! Not one single time!

Pluto scoots over on the airplane that they're on for level 14, crossing his arms dramatically. The loud drone of the massive aircraft pokes Jimin's ears like an constant unwanted jackhammer. Despite the high decibel RRRRRRRRR of the plane, he can still hear the unmistakable disbelief in Pluto's voice. The sponge stares out the opening of the faulty plane where they're supposed to jump through for the level's 'survival skydiving' jaunt. Jimin stares too, noting the 'coincidental thunderstorm' and heat lightning that plague the virtual sky.

"Man! Why'd you go out with him on a second date if he treats you like that! You paid good money for that shirt...ugh! WHY AM I SO MAD!"

Jimin laughs, cracking his knuckles. He glances between the sponge and the death drop awaiting them--they only found one parachute in the entire malfunctioning plane, plus a bunch of corpses littering the seats. No survivors. Also, the game has been counting down from a dangerous 100 seconds--expecting them to blindly jump out and save themselves before the plane crashes into a merciless volcano approaching on the horizon. 

What fun! 

"I DON'T KNOW BUT I'M SO MAD TOO! I'M NOT EVEN-" Jimin beeps out S-C-A-R-D-E in Morse Code. "-RIGHT NOW! I'M TOO HUNG UP ON THE DATE TO BE THAT!"

"You spelled--you spelled it wrong, Melonspeller. Well, you beeped it wrong. Hahah! I'm not too much of that either." Pluto's sponge hands roll the single parachute around like the color guard might parade their flags in circles. "AND I CAN'T BELIEVE JINYOUNG DID YOU THAT BAD! YOU LOOKED--THAT SHIRT LOOKED BEAUTIFUL!"

"I know!" Jimin humphs, ripping the parachute from Pluto's yellow hands as if they were Jinyoung's. As if he was revoking the chance of any future dates with the guy. "I KNOW! And ugh...I don't know what to do, Pluto. He's nice enough but boring as FUCK! The only thing he talks to me about is his work as a law intern and how much he'd rather be in Busan because of the shitty air quality here in Seoul. He doesn't even ask me about me or listen to what I want to say--even if he listened, I don't think he'd be interested. He has such a poor sense of humor, really. So bland. Does that sound mean? Maybe it does. Does it? Well, too bad. I'm kind of sick of it."

"I would get sick of that, too." Pluto doesn't even flinch as Jimin chucks the parachute from the plane. The large piece of equipment pummels into the windy storm, falling out of sight into dense, unforgiving storm clouds. Cumulonimbus clouds, Jimin notes. The timer on the upper half of his screen hits 50 seconds, and Jimin makes his pawn sit down. "I think you should tell this Jinyoung guy you need a break from him, Melonpie. Just tell him you need to think things through."

"That's what I was gonna do..." Jimin sighs. The sponge sidles up next to him and plops down. "Also, did you know these clouds are cumulonimbus clouds? They produce the heaviest rain falls and are super tall and menacing...and did you know my boss once called me lame for pointing out certain cloud types to him? He said that meteorology is something akin to witchcraft! Unbelievable, right! Can't a guy know random stuff and not be looked at as weird? Can't I paint my fucking fingernails purple and not be seen as an attention-whore! I don't care to be on the fucking magazine covers of Vogue, Bazaar, Dazed--I don't care if you think I'm 'hot' or 'a cute laugher' just please hear what I have to fucking SAY! You know! Man I hate society!"

The timer hits ten seconds and Pluto still hasn't moved an inch since Jimin started talking. Choking motor sounds and booms of thunder explode in Jimin's ears--blasts of lightning top it off, flashing so brightly in his headset that he has to squint. All the signs are pointing to calamity, to a horrible end, yet here they are...sitting on the edge of plane door calmly, legs dangling out and wind tearing through their respective outfits.

"Melon--Jimin, we gotta jump soon. We have five seconds." Pluto taps at Jimin's virtual hand, forcing him to snap out of his rant. "But don't think I wasn't listening to you! I was listening and was very interested! See? These clouds that we're about to plummet into are CUMULONIMBUUUUSSSS!"

Melonaju and Pluto97 dive off the virtual plane, falling through storm clouds to meet their demise with steady heartbeats and rotten laughter.

.

 'Nah! NOOO! U CAN'T DO THIS TO ME, MELONLIAR!'

Jimin frowns as he opens the message, clicking his tongue in speculation. Hoseok reads Jimin's confusion from his Pilates mat, raising his eyebrows in a question. It's only a few minutes before their Pilates session will start, and Jimin is supposed to be stretching out like the other participants are. 

Not staring at his phone. Not smiling at the message sent from his online friend.

"Nothing, Hoseok. It's nothing. Just a notification from an app. I lost my league...got dropped down to a lower level."

Hoseok overexaggerates his despair, shaking his balled fists comically in the air. "Noooo! Not your league! You've been on top of the leaderboard for what, three weeks now?"

"Yep." Jimin texts Pluto back with how have i lied to you, Plutofool? and clicks off his phone. He rolls backwards onto the mat and pulls his thigh up to cradle in his arms, mirroring Hoseok next to him. "I'm really pissed. I was up there in the leaderboards! Flying so high in those clouds...and then it was like my plane crashed or something..."

Jimin giggles to himself as Hoseok fake cries. He loves having a secret world that he can turn to at any time--a secret source of humor that the people he associates with don't have any inkling of. It's not just with Hoseok that he drops conversational Perilation jokes in.

Just yesterday he was helping Yeonjun open a new bottle of Vodka at Radon and made a joke about how he might have to go and smash the bottle on someone's head to open it up.

Days prior--in the boat over the waterfall level--Jungkook and him were supposed to open a bottle with a map folded on the inside. But no matter how much they tried to pull the cork out, it wouldn't budge. It was almost glued to the inside--like a piece of shit that won't come out--Pluto had said.

"Well, why don't we just break it?" Jimin responded, holding up the bottle. He then proceeded to bang it against the boat's deck as hard as his character could, but nothing happened. Not even a single crack! Pluto stood there watching him in contemplative silence for a while, until he spoke up. 

"You know that the human skull is a very hard surface? Very tough. Very strong-"

"So you want to break the bottle on my head?" Jimin had laughed, extending his arm out readily enough to the sponge. Jungkook squealed in his headphones, whispering an I've always wanted to do this before promptly snatching the bottle and slamming it on Jimin's head. 

"BAM!! THAT'S RIGHT BOTTLE! BOOOOOM! EXPLODE! CACHOW!!"

Just their luck, the bottle did break into a million pieces...but the map piece on the inside flung overboard into the turbid water. Jimin couldn't stop laughing at their failure. Pluto's spongey shoulders slumped in defeat, but they perked up again once Jimin burst into a new fit of laughter when his pawn had stumbled around drunkenly.

"What in Satan's quarters is up with you, Melonklutz!" Pluto yelled, waving his arms around spastically. Jimin couldn't walk straight in the game to save his life. He kept smacking into the vessel's walls, feet stuttering across the poop deck. Pluto reached his arms out to steady Jimin's character, but Melonaju toppled over right before he could be steadied.

"You just broke a bottle over my head!" Jimin tried unsucessfully to rise up from the ground, flailing his arms around hopelessly. In real life, all the spinning of the screen was making him dizzy. Not long after his pawn fell, Jimin was on his side on the floor, bubbling with laughter through groans of pain. "OH shit! I just fell over! Agghh, this is so dizzying! Pluto, why did you suggest to break it on my head!"

"It worked, didn't it!? Well not really, we lost the fucking map...and I think I hear a waterfall coming up. I think we made a wrong turn on this boat, Melonboy!" Through his headphones, Jungkook was snorting excessively. Their laughter mingled together as Jimin pulled his sore body off of the floor, cursing himself for falling yet again in the middle of a level. "But--did it hurt?"

"Of course it fucking hur-"

"When your ass fell out of heaven and slammed onto the ship deck?"

"AHAHAHAH!" Jimin got a rise out of that, and soon they were scream-laughing as they flung over the waterfall in their path. "GERONIMOOOO AAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

After Jimin suggested to open the bottle of Vodka by breaking it over a customer's head, his coworker was thoroughly confused. "You want me to get fired?" Yeonjun chuckled along with him, but soon stopped laughing. "Because I'm kind of hanging onto my position here by a thin fucking thread. It could snap at any time...and I don't want that. If you want to break the bottle over someone's head to open it, by all means, you go for it. But don't get mad at me when you get fired for giving an innocent man a not-so-innocent concussion."

Jimin doubled over with laughter, knocking over a dish of ice onto the floor. The hardy dish didn't break, but the ice got everywhere. Yeonjun had given him a strange look.

"I don't see what's-"

"...so funny?" Hoseok says as he sits up on the mat, cracking his neck in one swift motion. Jimin realizes he has been smiling this entire time, rubbing the same area on his head where the digital bottle had struck him. 

"Oh...um..." Jimin arches his back to sit up, grabbing his knees for support. "Tight hamstrings. You know, it's just funny's all. I've been squatting more."

Hoseok licks his lips playfully. "OOooohhhh. Building up that booty for no less than the Pluto97!"

Ding!

Jimin reaches over for his phone expectantly.

"Hey!" Hoseok suddenly flips into scolding mode. Jimin sees why. Thea has just entered the studio with her sporty outfit and rolled mat in hand. She swiftly makes her way to the front of the expansive room, undoing the coiled mat with a flick of the wrist. "Put that away or at least turn off your ringer! We're in a class now, Thick Stuff. Talk about-"

"Disrespectful! Yeah, I know, Hoseok. On it." 

Jimin picks up his phone to turn off the ringer, but freezes when he sees the first half of the notification. 'I saw what you did-'

Jimin unlocks his phone, reading over the long paragraph. What first begins as alarm in his mind molds into pleasant surprise and then giddiness, washing over him as Thea turns on relaxing music over the studio's speakers.

'i saw what u did, MELONLIAR! i was jus' goin thru my old stuff, u know, chillin, vibin...et cetera--and here i see the notification that someone liked a video! and i thought, what video? and then i remembered! you think U were being all sneakish going through my things, JIMIN! BUT I KNOW WHERE U LIVE (LMAO NO I DON'T, BUT JUS PRETEND) AND I KNOW THAT DEFINITELY TOTALLY UNDOUBTEDLY USERNAME WhatsTastyInBusan is yOU! so, like...whatwhatwaht! how did u find my old YOUtube videos and why were u spying on me and why did U like my anime drawing vidoes fuck! no one was supposed to find those, melonliar! and U liked it like a whole fat ass week ago, man...i mean...i thoguht we were supposed to be honest in this partnership, buddyship, and friendship but u RUINED it! (WHYWHYWHY) u probably had to hear all my cringy voice-overs...how did you even find my account? did u search up my username? that's real creepy MELONCREEP! U aren't supposed to find me, so stay back! bark barK! stay back! don't u KNOw about the NO PERSONALS rule SO stop tryna find me JIMINBAR if U want something just ask and don't listen to my cringey old video self tell you how to raise an army in StarCraft or how to prank the delivery guy into thinking that i'm a grandma. oh MY GOD why'd u have to embarrass me like that. GOSH JImin I was jus' about to go study for a test and now i can't think of anything else except for my stupid videos and you STalkING me!!!!!!!!! >:((((('

'Also, PS, enjoy ur Pilates session that u told me about today! don't get concussed or pull a muscle!'

Jimin's fingers speed across his keyboard to text Jungkook back as Hoseok judgmentally side-eyes him down. Thea happily welcomes everyone in the room with a low bow, beginning the class with a simple back stretch.

'I'll call U LATERR to explain PLUT0 but I GOTTA GO, THE CLASS ISSTARTINGAND HOSEEOKIS STARING AT MEFUCKFUKCUF'

As he sets the phone down, he catches Pluto's last response. It's a yellow heart next to a knife emoji. He giggles, ignoring Hoseok's frown.

Thea tells them to get into a deep cobra pose, stretching their heart up to the ceiling and releasing their stresses of the day with a deep breath. Jimin inhales and exhales, feeling himself release his mind to the air. He exhales to empty his boggled mind. To push out negative thoughts and let light ones in. To let yellow sponges dance in his imagination and laugh in his ear.

Jimin finds the remainder of the Pilates class to be very enjoyable, and he does not pull a muscle nor get concussed.

.

On his solo drive into work that night, Jimin pulls out his phone. Hoseok hasn't been dropping him off to Radon recently, but Jimin doesn't mind. Hoseok has been busy with studying for finals--it's that time of year already--so he can't waste his time partying it up in the bars. 

He is fine driving by himself now, he has been assuring Hoseok. Ever since the car level of Perilation, he feels much more confident in his driving skills. Instead of getting angry at tailgating cars, he laughs them off, imagining them pulling a gun out of the window to shoot at him. Always have to be on the defense for the ones that shoot. Never know when the instructor might show up! 

"Am I interrupting your studying?" Jimin speaks into the phone once he sees the person has answered. "Well, you needed a break anyway. Wait, what test are you studying for! I know you're...in college but...fuck, I know you won't tell me what school or what major you're in if I ask you-"

"Aren't you scheduled to work soon?" Jungkook chides over the phone speaker, cutting him off. 

"I'm driving there right now. Just thought I'd CATCH UP WITH MY FRIEND-"

"You can revoke that title." Jungkook says solemnly. A few seconds later, Jimin hears the catchphrase boohoos that Pluto does whenever something goes wrong in a level. His fake crying never fails to make Jimin snort. He sounds like a preschooler who's just dropped his ice cream cone. "We're now enemies. MELONLIAR!"

"OH my gosh. CHILL! I couldn't even see your face in most the videos! The picture you sent the other day with the yellow heart was more revealing than all your videos combined!"

"Touche." Jungkook laughs into the phone. "Why do you sound more high-pitched over the phone?"

Jimin shrugs, then realizes Jungkook can't see his character moving. They aren't in a video game. It's different than what they're used to. "Probably cause there isn't any scary music playing in the background or choppy sound effects. Your voice sounds a little different over the phone too, Jungkook. More nasally."

"Hey!"

"That's not a bad thing!"

"At least I don't-" Jungkook quickly shifts his voice into a baby's voice. "-sound like this!"

"I do not sound like that!" Jimin turns the wheel into the parking lot. With one confident hand, he parks the Camry in a yellow-lined space and cuts the engine. "It's your anger and embarrassment affecting your hearing!!"

"Meany! M-E-A-N-Y!" He beeps out in Morse. "You had to go snooping-"

Jimin cuts in fast, hoping this sudden informational tactic works. "What's your major?"

"Digital Ar--AAAAAAAHHHH!!!" Jungkook whines loudly over the speaker. Jimin holds the phone away from his ear, laughing at the despairing groans of his friend. "YOU'RE MY BIGGEST, FATTEST ENEMY, PARK JIMIN."

"HAH HAH! Got you! Digital art! Is that like, graphics? Woah! Are you secretly on Perilation's graphic team? I mean, I've seen so much of your speed anime drawings that I wouldn't doubt you'd be amazing at it-"

"GOSH SHUT UPPPPPP!!!!" A loud thunk cracks in the stuffy air of the car over the phone speaker. Jimin checks the time...only a few minutes before he has to go inside Radon for his shift. "Damn it! You made me drop my phone!"

"And your defenses!" Jimin cheers, loving the curses that string out from the other line. "But seriously, digital art is so cool! I could never. The only thing I'm good at drawing is milkshakes. I used to practice for like...hours in middle school to get the perfect milk shake down. Don't ask why."

"Why?" Instantly.

"Because I wanted to impress this other artsy-fartsy boy. But he thought my milkshake drawings were shit anyway. Plus, it's not like I could tell him how much I had a crush on him when I was only 14 and just learning about my sexuality, you know?" Jimin pauses. "Ugh! I only have one minute before work...and I know that you're sleeping when I'm done with my shift...and I'm sleeping when you're awake in the morning..."

"We can always sign into Perilation early to talk, you know." Jungkook's voice carries into the open air of the parking lot as Jimin opens the car door. "But don't you think about trying to get information out of me, Mr. NOSY ASS MELONBOY-"

"LOOZRSAYZWHAT-"

"What? Didn't catch that. Was that another tactic to get me to share something else? Cause it won't work!!! I have high defensive power, Melonaju!!!"

Jimin laughs, walking in his tight leather pants along the other parked cars of the lot. "You're a loser, Jungkook! You just admitted it!"

"I'M A WINNER!" Jungkook asserts, ahem aheming into the speaker. "Only losers put other people down like that. Who's the real loser here?"

"But...you just...put me down a bunch? You called me a meany, an enemy, and a liar." Jimin opens the door of Radon, cheesing like crazy with the phone held to his ear. Soobin waves at him energetically. Jimin waves back equally hard. "Anyway, digital art major loser SpongeBob headass Jungkook, I have to go to work nowwww..."

"Awwww, but I don't want to studyyyy...well anyway, have fun at work. Perilation 30 minutes early tomorrow?"

"Yes." Jimin walks up to the bar, strutting in his pants and smiling at a bright neon yellow sign. "See you tomorrow--be there or be square!"

Jimin hangs up before he can hear Jungkook's laugh.

___

___

___

A/N:

IF U HAVEN'T SEEN IT.

here it is!

the part one trailer of Pluto Rooms! (LMAO Sorry IT SUCKS but it was fun to make! I'll def make more!)  

LOVE U ALL :)