THE GAME WILL BEGIN SHORTLY...

...THE GAME IS ADJUSTING YOUR EXPERIENCE...

..THE GAME IS PSYCHOANALYZING YOUR CHOICES...

..L O A D I N G...PARK JIMIN...L O A D I N G...

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"Why is this taking so goddamn long? Just throw some spiders on the screen for the first level."

The longer the game takes to prepare his personalized experience, the more antsy Jimin grows. He debates whether or not he should remove his headset, maybe to scuttle to the kitchen for a cup of water or a sweet snack.

But no, he thinks, that might disqualify him for the competition. Keeping the headset on no matter what is the main rule to the game--the major make-it-or-break-it point that could end his chance at getting in the Winner's Circle in seconds. 

What if I were to have an allergic reaction? What if my face was puffing up? What if my contact fell out? Jimin wonders all of these things. How would that be fair, if someone lost the game because of an emergency?

Is winning this game more of a luck streak than an endeavor based on talent? Keeping a gaming headset on for an hour straight would get tiring for anybody, no matter how fearless or competitive they were.

.

ANNOUNCEMENT!

PARK JIMIN, YOUR CHOICES HAVE REGISTERED YOU UNDER THE FOLLOWING CATEGORIES:

CATEGORY 14: AVOIDER (32.81% of players)

CATEGORY 184: DEPENDENT (26.49 % of players)

CATEGORY 35: DILUTED NEUROTIC (1.31 % of players)

CATEGORY 142: CANDY CANE (3.28 % of players)

CATEGORY 58: SUBCONSCIOUS REALIST (56.23 % of players)

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"The hell?" 

Jimin scans over his "categories" with a thousand questions racing through his mind. A few he understands, like avoider. If that isn't him in a nutshell, then he blames the tree from which the nut fell. Even dependent makes sense. He depends on Hoseok for a lot of things...guidance, pep-talks, encouragement...a dance-off every once in a while to cheer him up when he gets down. 

All the nights he comes home late from bartending and wakes up at the ass-crack of dawn because of his genetics, Hoseok is his go-to for coffee and messy jam toast. Jimin depends on his best friend for a lot, and Hoseok means a lot to him.

Dependent would belong in the nutshell too.

But diluted neurotic? What is he, an escaped mental patient from the local loonybin?

And the fuck is candy cane? Does he look like a bent over piece of hard sugar, coated with bright reds and whites, expecting someone to suck on him?

"Ew...I mean...ugh! Stupid mind."

Jimin shakes the image and its implications out of his head. Whatever candy cane means, he doesn't think he wants to know.

Subconscious realist doesn't surprise him too much. He isn't much of an idealist--he accepts the ways of the modern world with faint, but honest, disgust and very little mirage. He guesses choosing optimist for himself on the quiz would have been his idealistic side speaking out. Pessimist suits him better. That's why he had chosen communications for his major at Seoul University...

Telling the truth--without any of the clickbait bullshit that some journalists caked their articles with--appealed to his better side. 

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PARK JIMIN-

BASED ON YOUR FIVE MOST PROMINENT GROUPINGS, YOU HAVE QUALIFIED FOR A RARE OPPORTUNITY TO TRY THE BUDDY-VERSION OF PERILATION: THE GAME.

ONLY 2.7 % OF PLAYERS QUALIFY FOR THIS VERSION, AND LESS THAN 10 % OF THESE PLAYERS ACCEPT THE 'BUDDY' OFFER. ACCEPTING THIS OFFER WILL NOT AFFECT YOUR CHANCES TO COMPLETE THE CHALLENGE.

HOWEVER, ALL BUDDY-OFFERS ARE FINAL. ONCE YOU BEGIN THE GAME, YOU MAY NOT BACK OUT OF ANY ACCEPTED OFFER UNLESS YOU CHOOSE TO FORFEIT THE CHALLENGE. 

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Jimin rubs anxiously at his stomach. A buddy-version? 

What kind of witchcraft is this? He thinks.

What does a buddy even imply? Will he have a virtual robot friend coming along with him into all of his daily challenges? Will the buddy be an AI giving him advice? Encouraging him like Hoseok?

Or will the 'buddy' make fun of him, degrade him using lame computer roasts such as that's too bad, Park Jimin. Your circuits must not be functioning at full capacity. You are such a scaredy cat, if felines were able to wear VR headsets. Ha. Ha. Ha.

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YOU HAVE THIRTY SECONDS TO DECIDE. BUDDY, OR NO BUDDY?

30...29...28...

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"Shit, what! I don't know!" Jimin tries to contemplate the option coolly, but he has never done well under pressure. Even at the bar, his coworkers let him take frequent bathroom breaks and cover for him when the late night partygoers horde the room with their rowdiness. Jimin gets overwhelmed easily and hates countdowns...

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18...17...16...

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"Jesus! The fuck do I do!"

Jimin imagines an AI tagging along next to him. It might be interesting to have a virtual friend along for the ride. Even if the 'buddy' exists to make fun of his slow progress, it might be better than speaking to the walls whenever Hoseok leaves for his chem class.

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9...8...7...

BUDDY. ✓

NO BUDDY.

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"Buddy, okay! I choose a buddy!"

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FANTASTIC CHOICE, PARK JIMIN.

A BUDDY WILL BE PAIRED UP TO YOU WITHIN THE NEXT FEW MINUTES. AS THE GAME FINDS A PERSON AT YOUR SIMLIAR CALIBER, FEEL FREE TO PERSONALIZE YOUR PLAYER AND CHOOSE A USERNAME. THE GAME WILL DING ONCE IT HAS FOUND A MATCH.

...S E A R C H I N G...S E A R C H I N G... S E A R C H I N G...

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Jimin knots his fingers together, his Converse scraping against the ground. He realizes his mistake now, a little late.

The game wouldn't search for an AI to pair him to--surely the program would have one ready to tag along next to him.

Which can only mean one thing...

His 'buddy' will be a real life...person.

Another player. In another headset. Talking to him. Through their microphone.

And it makes him so nervous. 

He can hardly focus as he personalizes his player to have purplish hair like himself, dressed in street clothes. It's a little more edgy than his style is in real life, but hell if he's going to have his 'buddy' assume he's some scaredy cat, gumdrop boy who wears Puma sweatpants, Converse, and colorful, sparkly crop tops when he's in the safety of his home.

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CHOOSE YOUR NICKNAME. MUST NOT INCLUDE REAL NAME.

__M__E__L__O__N__A__J__U__

MELONAJU.

ARE YOU SURE? THIS USERNAME CANNOT BE CHANGED FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE GAME.

YES!  ✓

NO.

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Jimin blames his nerves for the rather unoriginal nickname. Melona, a famous Korean ice cream bar, plopped into a glass filled with soju and chilsung cider--created the Ujjujju Melony--a famous summer drink mixture. Jimin enjoys making them so much at his night job that he always keeps Melona Bars in his freezer. His favorite flavor is banana.

Melonaju sounds cool off his tongue too, makes this game seem like a piece of cake. Just Melonaju coming to beat up the monsters under his bed!

Sounds ninja-ish.

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CHOOSE YOUR GAME FONT. THIS IS THE FONT STYLE WITH WHICH THE GAME'S COMMANDS AND OPTIONS WILL BE SHOWN.

ＭＥＬＯＮＡＪＵ

ᴍᴇʟᴏɴᴀᴊᴜ

𝙈𝙀𝙇𝙊𝙉𝘼𝙅𝙐

♥ MELONAJU ♥ ✓

ᗰEᒪOᑎᗩᒍᑌ

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"The one with the hearts is cute as fuck....but no! No, I didn't mean to click it!! UGHH..."

Jimin doesn't want his 'buddy' to think he's a wimp. He was going to choose the first option, but his thumb slipped and-

DING!

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♥ YOUR BUDDY HAS BEEN CHOSEN. ♥

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"Oh God, this font is horrible! Go back! Ugh..."

Jimin wipes his sweaty palms against his shirt, trying to calm his nerves down. It's just another person, just someone else who happened to purchase this stupid fear game too. It's probably nothing big, he'll likely be nice-

Wait.

"WAIT!"

Jimin nearly throws the headset off as a horrifying thought comes to mind.

"WHAT IF IT'S A SHE?!"

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♥ please turn on your microphone. ♥

♥ MEET YOUR NEW BUDDY: PLUTO97 ♥

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Pluto97? Is Pluto a girl's name? What does 97 mean? Is that how old this player is? How many fears they have? The battery percentage of their phone? 

"Oh God."

Jimin forces air in through his nose and out through his mouth. In the game, his personalized character is transported to a kind of strange virtual meeting room that resembles the interior of a Gothic cathedral.

The room has a high, elegant ceiling with glass windows, letting in virtual sunlight to the space. Gray marble floors stretch out before him, shining as if freshly polished. He turns around in the headset, marveling at the massive hall he's in, empty except for one door at the far corner on the left. 

The door is made of deep mahogany and has a bright gold 1 engraved into its surface.

That must be the door to the first challenge. But where is-

"Milownajo?"

The voice is too sudden, forcing a nervous yell-gasp out of Jimin. He almost stumbles to the floor in real life, hands reaching for the floor as he leans back. Just as sudden as his fear hits him, he's hit with relief in equal propensity.

The voice belongs to a male.

"Wh-where...sorry..." Jimin clears his throat, his hands grabbing reassuringly at his shirt. "Where are you uh, Pluto97?"

"Up here."

Jimin tilts his head back to find his 'buddy' in the game. He doesn't know exactly what he's looking for. He assumes the other player will resemble a person like him, but when his eyes land on a little yellow midget/monster creature with black eyes--clinging to the ceiling--he nearly falls down again.

"Jesus fuck! You s-scared me."

The other player laughs malevolently, his chuckles implying he's getting some kind of rise from Jimin's fear. In a matter of seconds, the creepy hairy thing falls from the ceiling, landing gracefully next to Jimin's character. From the ground it has to look up at him from insignificnant, stubbly legs.

Jimin realizes he hasn't turned on his hand sensors or even grabbed them off the couch. All Pluto97 can see is probably a crazy purple-headed guy rolling his head around and around.

"Your voice sounds funny."

Jimin feels around for the couch, hands finally coming in contact with the hand sensors. He picks them up, rolling his eyes in the headset as the Pluto97 character starts dabbing in front of him.

"Uh, so does yours?"

Pluto97 points to an area above his head.

"So, what does Meelunajo mean?"

Jimin scrunches his nose at the mispronunciation. "It's Meh-lone-uh-joo. And it's a very tasty alcoholic beverage if I say so myself."

Shit. Is that too revealing? Now Pluto probably knows he's over the legal age. Maybe even thinks he's weird.

"Oh. Cool."

"Yeah..." Jimin scratches at his stomach. "So uh, why is your character a yellow midget beast? And how'd you get onto the ceiling earlier? You know some cheat code I don't?"

Pluto's laugh rolls into his ears easily. His character spins in an amused circle. 

"No...haha! My game controls are a bit...different from yours, I suppose." Pluto pauses for a few seconds. "And I tried to make SpongeBob, but kinda failed. This game has limits to how creepy you can make your player. Hah..."

"Well, I think you've reached the limit on creepy, Pluto." Jimin says before he realizes that it might be weird to refer to him by a planet name. Which he still doesn't know the significance of. Is he one of those angry Pluto is still a planet no matter what you tell me people? "Uh, do you mind calling you that? Or do you have a real name you want me to-"

"No." Pluto97 suddenly starts floating away from him--his character somehow doesn't look like it's walking by the way it's stubbly legs glide over the floor. "Let's stay away from the personals. No personals from this point on,'kay? This buddy bullshit is just for beating the game anyway. Don't really know how it works though. Are we supposed to beat the levels together? What if I'm not scared of the same things you are?"

"Oh...shit. I never thought about that..." Jimin turns around in the headset, following behind the creepy yellow guy who's headed for the first door. "I don't know how all of this works. I honestly didn't think the 'buddy' thing would be a real-life person."

"Hmm..." Pluto arrives at the door, reaching his yellow stubs out to punch at the wall just next to the wood. "Did you get 'dependent' too?"

"Yes." A burst of curiosity flows through Jimin then, prompting him to ask this strange player about his other categories. He hopes it isn't too personal. "What were your other categories?"

Pluto snort-scoffs and stops punching the wall. He turns towards Melonaju slowly, with the odd, gravity-defying nature of his creepy rendition of SpongeBob. "Hmm...should I share those with you? I guess so. It's not like they mean much. But only if you tell me yours first."

Except for candy cane, Jimin thinks. He'll have to lie about that one.

"Okay...sure. I got dependent, avoider, diluted neurotic-"

"I got that one too! The neurotic one." Pluto motions for Jimin to continue. "Oop, sorry. Go on."

Jimin shifts on his feet."Subconscious realist...and...thrill-seeker."

Fuck, thrill-seeker? Jimin is bad at making things up on the spot. But Pluto doesn't seem to notice. 

"Hmm...interesting. Aren't the categories what they base the levels of the game on? But I'm getting ahead of myself! Mine were: dependent, that neurotic one, observer, soup-delver, and...um...casket carrier."

A chill runs down Jimin's back. "Casket carrier? What the fuck does that mean."

(What the fuck does candy cane mean?)

"Dunno. I don't think I want to, uh, know." Pluto mimics eating something out of a bowl. "But I think I know what soup-delver means, haha."

Strange. This player is so strange. "You like soup?"

Jimin doesn't like candy canes!

"Yes. Love soup!" Jimin smiles at the genuine excitement in Pluto's life. "Can't go wrong with soup."

"Riiigghhht." Jimin's player strides for the first level door. "So I guess we're somewhat simliar. I bet we have a lot of similar fears too. I guess there's only one way to find out..."

Jimin lightly touches the doorknob, about to open it, when Pluto yells dramatically in his ear. A yellow arm swings into his visual field, causing him to flinch.

"Not yet, Melonhead! Not yet!" Pluto warns with more discombobulated arm gestures. Jimin pieces together that Pluto must have strong arms to keep swinging them around like that without increasing his respiratory rate. Huh. "I'm not ready for this. Not yet. Give me a few minutes."

"Fine." Jimin relents to this mysterious player, actually a bit apprehensive to enter the first door himself. "But please don't call me Melonhead. If you want to, you can call me by my real name, Ji-"

"Nope! No need to tell me. No personals, 'member?" Pluto pauses his arms gesticulations to float away. "Are you okay with waiting like 5 minutes for me to grab some soup, Melonboy? All that talk about soup before made me hungry. Can't beat my worst fears on an empty stomach!"

Oh boy. Melonboy?

Jimin gets a sense that this Pluto guy must be a bit lacking in the attention department. Nevertheless, he's relieved to have been matched with someone who is at least palatable to be around. Pluto won't be hard to talk to, and he definitely won't be uninteresting as a buddy. Jimin decides to let Melonboy slide just this once because of these positive thoughts.

Pessimist? Says who!

"Okay, Pluto. Go make some soup. I'll try to get my character onto the ceiling like you did before."

He turns towards the yellow figure, which has stopped in its tracks. Jimin hears a light clunk and then silence. Pluto must have removed his headset.

In the waiting area, thankfully, there isn't a penalty for removing the headset. Jimin's heart lifts a little in relief. Maybe this game isn't as bad as it seems after all.

After a few minutes of getting lost in his thoughts and wandering around the digital cathedral, Jimin hears a quiet slurping noise in his ear. He turns towards the SpongeBob character which is frozen in a perpetual step. He patiently listens to the slurping.

Normally he would call out Pluto for being selfish, because who is he to attend to his needs while Jimin is left parched? But he doesn't, because he doesn't want to mess up the strange buddyship that they kind of have going.

Sluuurrrppp.

"Okay seriously, why can't you at least mute your mic. Ugh."

Surprisingly, Pluto responds. His character steps up to Jimin, waving a snot-colored hand. "Cuz I wanted to talk to you slurppp while I'm eating."

Jimin rolls his eyes under the VR device. "You have your headset on? How do you see where your soup is? Where the spoon goes? Aren't you worried about spilling soup on everything-"

"Nope! Slurrp, I have great hand-eye coordination." The Spongebob character wiggles his hands around his face as if to capitalize on that point. "Done it plenty times before. The soup thing. We're good."

We're good. As if he is protecting the soup from getting on Jimin's things aside from his own.

But he guesses in a way Pluto is now his buddy, so if the SpongeBob character's equipment gets ruined by soup broth, it might be his loss too.

"If you say so..." Jimin can't get the image of some random guy in Korea trying to eat soup with a headset on, completely blind to the soup bowl in his lap. He pictures how dumb it would look, how the soup droplets would splash everywhere despite the confidence of the eater. A fit of giggles bursts in his stomach and grows worse when he tries to speak to Pluto. "But, ahah, excuse meahahah. Um, we heh, have to go in the door when you're, haha, done, okay?"

Sluurrrppp.

"Yeah, okay."

Pluto isn't fazed by his laughing. Pluto doesn't seem to be fazed by much. Jimin wonders what kind of fears this individual has and why they were paired in the first place...Pluto seems too chill and way more composed than him.

But he supposes only time will tell.

Slurrrppp.

Only the next ten weeks with this guy will tell.

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_...

A/N:

IN LOVE WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL PERILATION TITLE SCREEN EDIT FROM A SPECIAL READER UWU THANK YOU ☆♡