"Hello, sunshine (♥'∀｀)／  May I request "Why do you care?" from angst prompt list with Bakugou? Love your blog :)"

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Why Do You Care?

{BakugouXReader}

"Tch, didn't you fucking hear me?"

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He told you to leave him alone

No, he didn't tell you- he yelled it.

Loud and biting and so full of anger and venom it sent an icy spear striking you through your very core.

The hallway went deadly quiet.... Hell, the whole school did. Everyone in earshot halted in their tracks, their words dying on their lips and quickly looking around for the source of the angry shout. Several of them poked their heads out of their classrooms and into the hall to try and catch a glimpse of the commotion, though few actually managed to pinpoint where you and Bakugou were in UA's winding corridors. But you were completely unaware of any of their eyes finding you, all of your attention was fixed on Bakugou a few paces ahead of you, your expression wiped blank by the words he snapped at you, and stiff in your place. He had his back facing you, his hands stuffed in his pockets and shoulders hunched, stewing and simmering with barely controlled rage.

"Tch, didn't you fucking hear me?" He hissed through gritted teeth, his shoulders hunching further with every second that he was aware you had failed to move. Your eyes flashed, swallowing back the lump that had formed in your throat and stiffening at the question.

".... Bakugou please-" you started softly, but the sound of your voice just made what little control he had on his rage disappear. He whipped around in your direction, fists clenched and eyes flinty, his face twisted in rage and anger and you shut your mouth in an instant.

"I TOLD YOU TO FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE DAMN IT!" He roared, much louder this time around, but no less cold or biting. You flinched, your breath catching in your throat as he snarled, his lips curling and icy cold rage igniting in his red eyes.

Another few seconds of silence settled again- again with you frozen in place and not budging even an inch..... You didn't want to leave, and you didn't plan to, even with him screaming at you.... You couldn't leave, not with him like this.

He was lashing out at you with anger born of so many deep and twisted things and thoughts he'd buried as far as possible- all things that hurt, and nagged, and made him doubt everything and everyone and even himself.... He was lashing out in anger and pain, and you knew it, but you couldn't understand why. Not really anyway, you could of course make a guess what it was that was eating him- but it was only a guess. The only real way to understand what was going on with him and why he seemed to suddenly pull away from you, and everyone else- was if he told you himself.

You wanted him to tell you, you needed him to, because you wanted to help him. In whatever way you could, all you wanted was for him to open up and let you in- make it possible for you to reach out and gently pull him back out of what terrible dark, and suffocating storm seemed to have trapped him.

He'd been so quiet for days now, completely reserved (more so than usual) and seemingly avoiding everyone, and especially you the whole time. He'd said little, and when he did he was gruff and incredibly quick to anger. His explosive temper had grown a million times more volatile than usual, and he'd grown so distempered he was almost downright malicious when he blew a fuse. He'd shut down any attempts on your part or anyone else's to have any sort of conversation with him, and he'd made an effort to keep out of sight in the off hours between classes so no one could try and interact with him at all. It wasn't like him, none of it, and it had been getting so bad you could practically see him suffocating. And the longer it went on the more you felt yourself suffocating with him. You were wound up in a giant knot of worry and concern about him, and the more he pushed you away, the harder you found it to focus on anything, and the more desperate you were getting.

That rising sense of worry and desperation is what had lead to this- he'd gotten straight to his feet and left the classroom as soon as school was done for the day, and you'd quickly given chase. You'd only managed to catch up with him a fair bit away from the classroom, and barely managed to get him to halt before he started heading down the stairs. However you catching him and asking him to wait hadn't pleased him in the slightest, and you trying to open up the topic of his off behavior had ended with him telling you to fuck off. 

It hurt, how angry he sounded and how much bite there was to his voice as he yelled at you to leave. If you hadn't known any better you would have thought he actually wanted you to go... And maybe some part of him did, but you being there was not the real issue.

So you swallowed, steeling yourself, and tried again.

"No, I'm not gonna walk away just because you're yelling at me." You told him lowly, "You've been avoiding me for long enough-"

"If you know I've been avoiding you, then maybe you should take the hint!" He snapped hotly, cutting you off for a third time now and you bit the inside of your cheek. "Are you dense as well as hard of hearing? Shut up and leave me the hell alone, I ain't talking to you." He growled, spinning on his heel again and continuing toward the stairs once more, and you felt yourself wince a little at the harshness of the words. But you stepped forward quickly after him nonetheless, reaching a hand out to stop him- big mistake.

He knew what you were doing, he could sense you trying to grab on to him, and his teeth had already been gritting at the sound of your footsteps behind him. You hadn't even managed to graze the back of his shirt before he whipped about and smacked your hand away, sending a jolt of pain up through your arm and stunning you into a complete standstill.

You pulled your hand back uncertainly, your eyes flashing as your gazes matched, and you saw nothing in him but deep-seated, writhing ire.

"Go away, (Y/N)." He hissed at you through gritted teeth, his voice barely above a growl and you felt your heart skip a beat. He huffed, waving the hand he had used to smack yours away and you reflexively stiffened at it, and he grimaced faintly, but quickly looked away again. "Don't talk to me." He grumbled, sticking his hand back in his pocket and descending the stairs quickly. You were left frozen and alone at the top of the steps, holding your hand gingerly to your chest and heart aching as you watched him leave.

Your eyes dropped to your hand and you frowned, your jaw clenching and hissing lowly in frustration and hurt.

Damn it Bakugou

Your fingers curled as you balled your fist, cursing yourself and the blonde several times over in your head as you quickly made your way down the stairs. You couldn't find him at the bottom though, and you dodged down hallways, and scoured the dorms looking for him with no luck. You knocked several times on his door at Heights Alliance and received no answer, and you heard nothing from the inside when pressing your ear to the door.

You wilted, your forehead resting against the door for a few seconds and quiet.

You had no idea if he was in there, and he could have been and was just ignoring you.... But either way the silence was painful, and you swallowed against the knot in your core.

".... Please just talk to me, Bakugou...."

You'd eventually given up and retreated to your own room with no thought of dinner. But once you were there you couldn't even begin to relax, you were pacing back and forth without end and damn near pulling your hair out from worry and agitation. Worse still your emotions were making your stomach twist into a thousand knots, and so much so you were beginning to feel sick for it.

Is this what he was feeling like? Bottling it all up and trying to ignore it?

But why couldn't he just tell you what was wrong? Why was he bottling it up? What the hell was eating him?

Was it something really bad....? It had to be right..? To have affected him this much....?

Or was it just a lot of things, all stacking up and getting too heavy to hold alone-?

-Shit

You gave up on being alone with your thoughts, and left your room, walking brusquely through the dark hallways of the building, but doing your best to be quiet. Everyone else was surely asleep, it was late now and the sun had long since set and let the moon take its place. You made your way directly to Bakugou's room and wrapped your knuckles against the frame quietly, your other hand reaching for the handle without skipping a beat.

"I'm coming in Bakugou." You called firmly through the door, and opened it quickly before there could be any protest.

But the room was empty and there was no sign of Bakugou anywhere, even his bed seemed untouched. You hesitated in the open doorway, chewing on the inside of your cheeks and mind racing- where the hell was he, if not here? It was way passed curfew.... Downstairs maybe?

You frowned and shut the door, quickly moving to the first floor and finding it as dark and silent as the rest of the building- so no Bakugou there either.

A stiff breeze blowing through the floor caught your attention, and your eyes snapped sideways towards the slightly ajar door at the front of the building.

He left....?

You were outside in the chilly night air and headed away from the dorms before you knew it, your bare feet making little noise on the cement. What little light was available to see by came from the moon overhead, and the sparse lampposts dotted on either side of the path.

You had no idea where you were going, and not really much hope of finding him in the cold and the dark, and with how big UA was. But even then, your feet wouldn't stop, not even when they began to ache from the rough terrain and the chill alike. You needed to find him, no matter what. You had to find him, and you had to get him to talk- make him even. You couldn't let him walk away this time, you needed to make him realize that he didn't have to be alone with whatever was going on.

When you spotted his blonde hair, almost white-washed from the light of the moon ahead of you, you had gone no small distance away from the dorms. Your pace picked up, nearly jogging now as you rushed to catch up with him, and his walking came to an abrupt and surprised halt when you called out to him.

"Bakugou!" You huffed, your voice breaking the quiet of the night and the blonde's shoulders stiffening.

"...tch.... You really are fucking stupid, huh?" He growled immediately, his back still turned to you and shoulders rigid. You grimaced at the words, stopping behind him and grumbling internally. "How many times do I have to say it, for it to get through your thick head? Leave me the hell alone, I ain't talking to your dumbass-"

"Enough!" You cut him off this time, and so firmly he jumped ever so slightly. "You can call me stupid, and tell me to leave a million times over, and scream and yell at me, and it won't matter! I am not dropping this, you have been acting really off for days now and I know something is bothering you!" You hissed, shaking your head a little in frustration. "I just don't know what it is, because you won't talk to, or hardly even look at me! I need you to explain why you're acting like this, and why you're pushing everyone away! I need you to talk to me!"

"... Tch, why?" He asked lowly, still refusing to turn and look your way and his shoulders still hunched against you. You paused at the question, your eyes narrowing in confusion.

".... What do you mean why?" You mumbled, and his shoulders tensed further, a low, strained, and almost shaky hiss escaping him.

"Why do you need me to talk to you?" He growled, "Why do you need me to look at you? Why do you keep trying to get me to talk to you about anything at all?" He asked lowly, "Tch.... Why do you keep pestering me? Why do you keep pushing and refusing to just leave me the hell alone? Or banging on my door for an hour trying to get me to answer? Why are you trying so goddamn stubborn?" He growled, hissing again and his voice getting more and more strained with every word. He was hunching further too, the ridge of his shoulders raising and his entire body stiff as a board and..... Shaking.

"..... Why do you care?" He hissed, his voice was shaking too and he sounded so agonized, and so incredibly unsure- like he couldn't fathom any possible answer to his own question...... it was heartbreaking.

You stiffened, your eyes flashing as a terrible ache swept through your very soul and you held your breath against it, and the way Bakugou was desperately trying to hold himself together now. His posture was failing him, his legs shaking and head bowing farther by the second- his breathing had picked up too, though he was doing everything he could to keep it somewhat steady.

"..... Damn it...... Why do you even care...? It's got nothing to do with you, it's none of your business..... So why..... Why can't you just.... Leave me be... (Y/N)....?" He grumbled lowly, ".... tch.... It's not like I've ever been anything but an asshole to you, or anybody else.... I ain't anybody's friend, I don't do 'chit-chat' or talk about my 'feelings'..... I blow up everything in my way and I don't care if everyone hates me for it.... I'm not someone that anyone would ever be worried over... So what.... Why are doing this? Why are you acting like you actually care, (Y/N).....? We aren't friends, so why are you pretending like we are....?"

For a few seconds you had no idea what to say, or even do. Everything he had just said had stunned you, your mind racing as you stood in utter stillness behind him and eyes glittering madly as you stared.

This was not the Bakugou you were used to, this was a version of him that was much more fragile, and one with a much lower self-worth that you could have ever thought possible.... Did he really see things that way? Himself that way?

Did he really think.... That he didn't have anyone? No friends at all, not even you...? And that everyone.... Hated him...?

.... Did he really think.... He wasn't someone that anyone would ever be concerned about? That there was no one in the world that did actually care about him? Did he really think that you were... Just pretending to care....?

His assumption that you were faking it hurt more than words could describe, and your heart twisted so painfully you almost gasped, but you held your breath. However doing so left something heavy and icy cold in the pit of your stomach, and that cold had more bite to it than even the cement on your bare feet.

You swallowed, your expression twisting slightly and shaking your head at yourself. You sucked in a deep breath of air, your fists clenching at your sides and straightening as you stepped toward him, destroying the space between you quickly. He heard you moving and stiffened, already about to move forward or turn and stop you reaching out to him- but this time around you were quicker. He didn't manage to turn hardly at all before your arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders, locking him in place as he hissed at the contact.

"Lemme go damn it-!" He snapped hoarsely, his arms moving to unlock yours from around his shoulders and arching his back roughly to try and throw you off. The feeling of his spine slamming against your ribs was painful, as was his grip around your wrists- but you didn't give up, you just held tighter, pressing your nose into the crook of his neck.

"Quit squirming and listen to me, you idiot....!" You hissed, grunting a little when he fidgeted some more. "... I'm not pretending, I never would... I wouldn't lie to you, and I don't hate you and nobody else does...! And you are my friend...!" You hissed, your voice cracking on the last bit and he halted for a moment underneath you. ".... And... And you assuming I'm just faking is... It's terrible...! I've been worried about you for days, and it's just gotten worse every time you told me to go away, and when you wouldn't talk to me....! I... I've been so wound up worrying about you it's been making me sick....! How can you stand there and tell me I'm pretending.....?! Damn it........."

Your arms tightened around his shoulders, your body shaking now and he was trembling too, hunched over and his hands clasped around your wrists. You hiccuped, barely holding back a sob now and burying your face further into his shoulder.

".... I care about you because you're my friend, Bakugou.... I'm not pretending, I care about you and I'm so worried.... I just want to help you and you won't let me.... Please..... Please just talk to me...! Please... Please believe me.... I do care... I really care..... Because you're my friend, and.... And you mean so much to me.... I... I thought you knew that... I figured you had to...." You were rambling now and what little composure you'd had failed you. Your voice was borderline sobbing now and you were shaking so badly the tremors shook Bakugou too..... Though grant you, that was mostly because he was shaking all on his own now.

He could hear your voice breaking, and feel your hold on him desperate and failing all at once. He hated you'd grabbed him, and hated it more he couldn't shake you off easily- but he hated it more the way you were talking, your breath and body hot against him and your voice laced with pain, and regret, and guilt even.

He hadn't ever considered the idea that any of your interest in him was genuine, how could it be? He'd been an ass to you so often before, he'd never really been what could be considered kind either. He'd not come anything close to being considered a friend, by any means, and he couldn't even fathom that you thought of him that way at all. That's why he assumed you were faking it, that all these constant attempts to speak with him were nothing more than formality or born from some ulterior motive. He could not think of any reason at all why you would ever care about him- how could you?

You were a million times kinder than he could ever be, everyone in class loved you, and you made being loved and cared about seem so easy. You were this bright, burning sun in class 1-A and you overshadowed him at every turn, and made his gruff and violent behavior stand out and seem all the worse ... He didn't deserve your attention, or your pity, or your concern. He wasn't worth your time... someone like you shouldn't ever have any reason to give someone like him the time of day.

So why... Why did you sound so guilty? So sorry...?

He held his breath against it, his eyes locked on the ground and head bowed. He heard you suck in another shaky breath of air, swallowing back at the sob that halfway escaped you, and listening in silence as you fought to settle your breathing to no avail.

Why were you crying...?

"... I... Thought you knew..... I thought.... I thought you knew we were friends.... I..... Thought you had to know... At least a little.... T...that I cared.... That so many people care...." You stammered, ".... I'm so sorry.... I didn't..... I just.... I want to help you.... I want to do something.... Anything to.... Make you feel better.... I can see you're hurting, Bakugou, I've been seeing it... F...for days.... And I just..... Please let me help you....." You broke off, gritting your teeth against the way your breaths were coming in increasingly shorter bursts despite attempts to stop it. You hugged him tighter, swallowing hard and then stammering out the next bit, your voice barely above a whisper.

".... I care..... I care about you.... I care about you so much.... please.... Believe me.... I care because...... Because you're special to me, Bakugou......."

That was it, any amount of will he had to stay standing, and stay angry, vanished when you said it. That he was special to you, and he knew you meant it with every fiber of your being.

His knees gave out and he sank to sit on his heels, dragging you down with him. He hunched over, hiding his face in one hand and holding tightly to one of your arms with the other. You let yourself lean against him, settled on your knees and still hugging him from behind as the both of you sat there, sobbing still and Bakugou doing so silently. He never let go of your arm and you didn't dare pull away either, you could feel him crumbling underneath you, and you felt like you were the only thing that managed to keep him from falling apart all the way. You were his anchor in that ugly, suffocating storm of hurt and turmoil that had been slowly eating away at him these last few days.... and you kept holding him in place, even as the minutes ticked by.

".... (Y/N)..... I'm sorry...."

Bakugou's soft voice after a long time of nothing but quiet startled you, your eyes snapping open and your head lifting off his shoulder too.

Sorry...?

He shifted underneath you, making you loosen your hold- and you were about to pull back entirely but he grabbed your hand and made you stay put. He turned around to face you for the first time, pulling you into him and hugging you tightly. Your eyes flashed at the gesture, and the fact that he had initiated and uncharacteristic (coming from him) embrace. Your hands stalled uncertainly in air, before they found his back and you returned the hug.

".... I'm sorry for being such an ass... And pushing you away.... I'm not..... I suck at shit like this........" He told you quietly, his breath tickling your ear. ".... You're.... Gonna have to be..... patient.... But.... I'll try.... And try to.... You know....... So you understand..... What's goin' on....." He audibly swallowed and your heart twisted again at how hard it was for him to say any of that.

".... It's okay..... I'll be as patient as you need.... I just want to help you, however I can, or however you need......" You replied softly, sinking further into the hug. Bakugou blinked when you relaxed against him, eyes bloodshot and tired, and his lips pulling into a tight line at your reply.

Nothing could have ever described how much it hurt, and soothed his soul when you said that- that you would be patient, and do whatever you could for him. And because words weren't enough, he hugged you tighter instead, holding his breath against the ache for a few long moments.

He paused halfway through though, as his eyes found your bare feet and the way they were dirty and scraped on the bottom. He frowned, his jaw clenching slightly as a flash of both guilt and annoyance hit him at the sight.

Idiot.... You ran out here with no shoes on in the middle of the night? Your feet were probably blocks of ice by now, and he'd be surprised if you could manage to stand back up on them, being away numb as they probably were.

He shook his head once and settled his chin on your shoulder, sighing silently.

Stupid... but..........

....... Thank you....(Y/N)....