(On god this isn't edited that much, correct any mistakes.)

*Final chapter*

Justin

Guilt.

It was the only fùcking thing that consumed me whenever I was near Sequoia, deep guilt. The guilt that won't let me touch her nor look at her in the eye, for once in my life; I felt guilty for cheating. She didn't deserve my sleazy ways, she never did but she put up with them for a long time.

Now, I was treating her like I did Penelope but only this time I loved her enough to hide it from her. Trust me, I wanted to stop but Sarah is so persistent and persuasive, like me. The first time I actually gave into her attempts, when we were alone after work. Sarah asked me to walk her to her car, I didn't think she would go down on me in a parking lot but she did and I let her.

Every time after that, I tried to avoid her but she wasn't giving up and when she didn't, I gave in. She even tried me in front of Ryan, which caused both of us to end up fighting and getting sent home early. That was the day I lost one of my closest friends, he only wanted to help me but I don't listen. Of course I wouldn't, Sarah was a temptress and I was the fool, right?

Believe it or not, I love Sequoia with every fiber in my body and I hope she knew that too. My behavior had been questionable lately, I knew she was becoming worried especially after the conversation with Penelope yesterday. Sequoia had been persistent about asking me about work, or whatever else she knew about. If I wasn't careful, I would be caught and she would leave me. God, I couldn't have her leaving me, I'd go crazy.

I was sure there was a permanent scowl on my face as I thought about her away from me, it was unfair and selfish to keep her near me if I was still seeing Sarah. She didn't deserve that, or anything else i put her through but I need her with me; Sequoia is everything to me and who would want to loose their everything?

"Baby are you okay?" the soft voice asked, it wasn't Sequoia's either. My chest tightened with guilt, it was so tight I had to clench my fist and close my eyes before murmuring a quick yes to Sarah so I could convince her to leave me alone but even that didn't work because she kept pushing. "Justin, are you thinking about Sequoia again? Really?"

I always think of her.

When I didn't reply, Sarah huffed as she stood from the bed of the cheap motel we started to stop by a few days back; only when we both needed release though. I opened my eyes just as she walked around and kneeled down in front of me, biting her lip rather seductively. "I swear I can make you forget about her faster than you can remember her face."

Now that angered me, why would I want to forget anything about my doll? "I don't want to forget about her, are you crazy?" I sneered, her lips lifted into the conniving smirk she always gave me; it was a smirk that she gave whenever she was going to make a good point, like an I told you so look.

"I'm not crazy, but I know you're trying to forget about her if you're here with me about to fùck my brains out again, right?"

She was right, I was here trying to rid my mind of Sequoia so I could enjoy yet another orgasm from Sarah but the guilt was choking me; Sarah knew it was too. That's why she was almost glaring at me, obviously she didn't like that I was thinking of Sequoia when I was supposed to be with her. But Sarah didn't know, just a single thought of Sequoia makes me want to go running home to her, where I belonged.

"Actually, I'm not in the mood this time Sarah."

or any time afterwards

Sarah's face morphed into sudden panic and anger as I stood from the edge of the bed. It was almost as if I've saw that emotion, on someone else I knew; Penelope's. especially when I asked for a divorce a few months back, "What are you doing? You can't leave." she stumbled with her words as she rose from her position, into her full height.

I nearly rolled my eyes as I shrugged into my uniform shirt, she sounded just like someone I wanted to avoid. As she spoke, I continued to ignore every word she was saying from the cursing of Sequoia to the pleading; it all went in one ear and came out the other. I didn't care what she had to say mainly because I wanted to focus on restoring Sequoia and I. My mind turned as I slipped on my shoes, Sarah's voice completely deaf to my ears, how was I going to face Sequoia?

I couldn't have those green orbs staring at me with so much admiration when I had been having sex with my coworker for almost two weeks. Sequoia shouldn't admire me, she should be disgusted and filled with resentment for me but I knew I didn't want that. I wanted her to be as deeply in love with me as I am with her, but I didn't really deserve her love now, did I ?

Of course you don't, fùcking idiot.

It made me angry, I abruptly stood and snatched my phone from off of the cheap motel nightstand that probably was older than me. Sarah's voice finally was heard through my ears, "And you going back to that girl won't make any difference! I'm in the picture now, and you can't get rid of me."

My footsteps ceased, everything she had said to me was familiar; she was a fucking carbon copy of her and I wasn't sure how I couldn't see it. The only difference was, she was more tolerable and less annoying. I always manage to end up with the crazy ones but, not this time because I was going to end this before it got any worse. My body turned and I angrily stride towards Sarah who had cowardly moved back ones she saw the look present on my face.

Before I could stop myself, I gripped Sarah's jaw harshly and yanked her up to my face while she let out a loud whimper. I didn't care if I was hurting her "You listen closely, stay away from my fùcking girlfriend and I." I spoke in a voice I couldn't recognize myself, Sarah's eyes were wide and frantic. "We may have fucked a few times but we're done, stay the hell away."

Once I released her, she scrambled away and glared at me menacingly but I ignored her altogether. I didn't care about her, she wasn't the one I cared about at all and I knew that. Without a second glance I grabbed my keys and walked towards the door, Sarah spoke her last words.

"I pray to god you get what's coming, I hope that woman finds out because you sure as hell don't deserve her or anyone for that matter."

My jaw clenched, I wanted so badly to turn around and yell she'll never find out. But even I knew that wasn't true, I had fùcked up big time. That was all I could think about as I stomped over to my car, the Miami sun beaming down on my tense structure. I even ignored that as I entered my car, the urge to get home to Sequoia was strong as ever. I had to make things right now, or I'd regret it later.

The whole ride was painfully long for me, I didn't know why but it felt as if the traffic lights were working against me. It had gotten so bad that I let out a sigh of relief once I pulled into the parking garage of Sequoia and I condo. Before I even got out , I pressed my head to the steering wheel and closed my eyes; my head was pounding and I wanted to be able to clear it before I went in with Sequoia.

I even said my own words of encouragement, "Pull yourself together, you got this." with a sigh , I pushed my head from the steering wheel and looked out the windshield. At first, I was just staring at nothing until my eyes focused on a familiar body with a few boxes in their arms, I squinted until I saw who the person was,clear as day. Daniel. I suddenly grew angry, what was he even doing around our building, he doesn't live here.

The sudden urge to stomp over to wherever he disappeared to, was strong. But I wouldn't, if Daniel was coming from our building, he was probably in our apartment. Finally, I exited the car and made my way towards the elevator. My key to the elevator in our condo was inserted and the doors closed slowly, thankfully the elevator music was tolerable or I would've blew my top off because I was already angry.

When the doors rolled open, I was greeted by the sound of laughter and Jade's voice; I knew it anywhere, it was loud as ever and no one could miss her obnoxious accent. That wasn't concerning at all but the fact that Daniel was downstairs, is. I stepped out of the elevator with keys clutched withing my hand, around the condo were boxes and everything was almost gone. I could feel my lips begin to frown, what the hell was-

Before I could even finish my thought, Sequoia's beautiful voice filled the condo. "Oh Daniel, I know you're around that corner. I heard the elevator, come help me-" she suddenly stopped, the beautiful smile of hers had diminished into a blank stare, the fact that I was able to wipe that smile off her face without speaking a word was upsetting. "Justin, I thought you weren't getting off of work until tonight."

Her emphasis on the word work made me wonder what she knew, instead of questioning it I only shrug and continue to look pass her. The boxes were stacked behind her too, the unanswered questions within my head angered me now, so I start to fire them at her. "Why are there boxes in here? What are you doing with those and why is Daniel walking out of our personal elevator? "

I wasn't even sure why I was upset, I had no right because of what I had been doing. She didn't have to answer my questions but if she didn't there would be a huge argument that I was unprepared for, mentally. Sequoia's lips pursed as she let out a sigh through her nose, as if she were preparing herself she cleared her throat before answering "Oh, these are coming with me."

And where the hell is that Sequoia smith?

"And where are you going?"

Sequoia said nothing, her arms folded across her chest and I knew it was something wrong. Had it been that my fear was actually coming true, where the hell was she going and why wasn't I told? My eyes were glaring at her small frame, I wanted answers also. But before she could even open her mouth, Jade rounded the corner with a scowl on her face.

"Oh look who it is! Puto, I don't think you should be here. How about you come back when she's halfway across the Atlantic ocean, away from your ass!" Jade immediately started to snap on me, but I ignored the fact that she was practically cursing me out. The only words I hung on to, when she's half way across the Atlantic ocean. Unaware of the clenching of my fists until I felt my car keys painfully dig into the palm of my hands.

"You're leaving me?" I nearly choked out, as if it were vomit or words that I couldn't even speak. I didn't want to believe it, but the anger within her eyes showed that she wasn't playing around at all. Sequoia nodded while Jade glared at me like I was the scum of the earth. "You said-"

Jade cuts in yet again, "What she said is something of the past, she's leaving your cheating ass. Stay with that pasty ass white girl that you wanted so ba-"

"Jade, enough!" Sequoia's voice cut through her friend's, it was so loud that even I was startled also. "Let me talk to him about this, please. I just want this to be calm and collected." Jade hesitantly listens to Sequoia, her figure disappeared from our view instead of staying and saying something like she usually does. I was still processing everything, I was out of it for a few moments and it wasn't until I felt a harsh stinging on my cheek. Talk about calm and collected.

I deserved that

I touched my cheek, blood coated my fingers as I discovered that she had cut me in the process. It didn't anger me because I knew the words I would hear in the next few moments will hurt more. "I- I don't even know where to start with you Justin. " her voice never cracked or showed any kind of emotion, it sounded as if she were bored almost. That was a puncture within itself, the tone of someone's voice always told if they were angry or anything else, but for Sequoia it showed that she was tired. It made me angry too, I wiped the blood from my cheek on to my shirt and stood rigid as she glared at me.

"Oh, I know! Let's start with Sarah, right? You two are pretty comfortable, huh?" she questioned, while I still remained silent. If I didn't speak up soon, she'd think I'm not man enough to face the music; but I was. And I was going to talk this out with her, talk her into staying with me.

My mouth instantly opened, I blurted the first thing that came to mind. "Angel, she's nothing compared to you. " it was true, but Sequoia thought otherwise. Instead of falling at my feet, she chuckled unamused with my words, they weren't even meant to be funny they were truthful words.

"What do you take me as, Justin? You think I'm just some disposable toy? You think a few sweet words will save your ass? Do you think that of all of your women? "

"What? No, you know I don't think that of you! "

Sequoia folded her arms across her chest and moved closer to me, I almost wanted to reach out and grab her but I knew she'd fight me. "I can't really tell what you think of me, I have a question for you Justin. " her voice grew soft, almost as if she was whispering "What does she have that I haven't already gave to you? I sacrificed everything for you, my job, my home, my fùcked up relationship with my mother. And what do you do? Throw that shit right back in my face! "

The truth hurt, because everything that came out of her mouth weren't lies and I never realized how much she gave for me. I'm not a good guy but yet, she's welcomed me into her home, quit her job because of my ex wife's harassment, and stood up against her mouth when the truth came out about our relationship. What did I give back?

Pain.

Heartbreak.

Bullshit? Yes.

I had nothing much to say afterwards, both of us were silently staring at each other. Sequoia's eyes finally full of unshed tears, and surprisingly mine were almost there. You can practically see the pain within them, and now I have to live with feeling of regret because I caused that. "I'm sorry, angel. God I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking."

That wasn't a lie, I didn't know what I was doing with Sarah. It just, happened!

A scoff of disbelief escaped her lips, the tears were now falling freely down her face and I was itching to reach out and wipe them away but that wasn't my job now.

"I bet you said the same shit to Penelope once upon a time. "

The sad part was, it was true.

Somewhere down the line, I've said that to Penelope and I was lying then. Now, I meant every word because I was sorry although I know sorry doesn't even fix things slightly. I found that out years ago, but I'm willing to do anything and everything to keep her here within my arms; if she doesn't want to be in my arms, I can at least keep her within my distance.

Sequoia took my silence as an answer, she shook her head disappointedly. I ran my hand in my hair, sighing in frustration because I didn't know exactly what to say to make things better. Knowing me, I would say something wrong and mess things up for us even more. "Please, just - I don't know what to say! I'm sorry, you know I love you so much- Just tell me what I can do to fix this."

"Theres nothing to fix, your things are by the front door. Leave, I don't want to see you again."

I don't want to see you again.

My hands instantly clenched, I shook my head in defiance almost as if I were a child; see what this woman does to me? "No sequoia, I'm not leaving. I told you this before , you're forever mine and I'll rather die than let you go." my voice low, menacing, and cold but it had no effect on Sequoia because all she did was glare right back at me.

She unfolded her arms and stepped closer to me, with a confident aurora around her "Well? What are you waiting on?"

"I'm not going anywhere. "

"Justin, get the hell out!"

"No!"

"Yes, just leave." she says exasperatedly, turns away from me and rubs her forehead. I knew she was growing tired of me, but I just want to talk to her. Sequoia turns back around, tears are falling more freely by now. "Justin, can you please just get out of my life? Haven't you made your mark already? "

The sound of her voice broke me even further, and all I did was stand there.

"Marry me." I blurt, and I don't know why but I felt like it was the time to say it. Sequoia's eyebrows furrowed and she covered her mouth as a sob escaped her lips, I immediately reach out and grab her arm to look her straight in those beautiful eyes. "Sequoia Smith, please marry me.

Sequoia snatched away from me and before I knew it, she slapped me again. "You can't just ask me to marry you like that will fix the fact that you're a cheater, get out!" She yelled, while I rub my other cheek; I deserved that. "Get out!" This time she was pushing me slightly, causing me to grab her hands to stop her.

Pulling her closer, I leaned down close to her face almost to the point were are noses were brushing. "Sequoia, I can lose everything - every fùcking thing before I even think about losing you." her breath hitched and she pursed her lips, only because by now I was leaning closer to her lips. "I'll leave but tomorrow, I'll be back to talk this out."

And with that, I slowly released her arms and stood back. Sequoia straightened up her posture, and pushed a lock of her dark hair behind her ear. I walk passed her , towards the living room where Jade was sitting along with Daniel. Ignoring them as I picked up the duffle bags, I turned towards the threshold and opened the door. Sequoia was standing against a wall with her arms folded, her eyes bloodshot red.

"I love you, I'll see you tomorrow."

*

Who knew cars could be so comfortable?

I had no choice, so I had to make it somehow. So I slept in the back seat of my car, in the parking garage of Sequoia's condo. The only thing that I didn't like was the constantly slamming of car doors and moving vehicles. It was annoying, but a great alarm clock, who knew?

Getting out of the car, was the hard part because my legs were cramped up , I had to force them out the door because I couldn't feel them. Once I was out the car, I didn't even bother to fix my messy hair because there was no point. Instead, I just grabbed the keys and walked straight into the building; not caring if the other residents were giving me horrified looks.

I wasn't trying to please them, my only mission was to fix things with Sequoia. Last night I thought of what I said to her, asking her to marry me was completely wrong but I didn't know what else to say. Of course I wanted to marry her, so it wasn't a lie but it was just the wrong time to ask her. Just incase I got tongue tied, I thought over everything as I rode the other elevator up to Sequoia's floor, I planned on getting on my knees to apologize to her because she deserves it. Sequoia deserved to be worshipped, not treated as if she were just a random woman. I knew that but my actions didn't reflect it, because I ended up cheating when I promised myself that Sequoia was the one I was going to spend my life with.

But I messed it up.

Now I was going to make things right, with a deep breath I raised my hand and knocked on her door. I had keys, but if I used them I felt as if I would be overstepping my boundaries. Waiting a few more moments before knocking again, I start to pull my keys out and put them in the lock. "Sequoia, " I call out as I push the door open, my voice echoes as if the place were empty. Panick fills my body as I push the door open to find the place, empty and deserted. Like she wasn't here in the first place, what could I do? Nothing but punch the wall angrily and let a few angry tears fall down my face as I processed everything.

Sequoia left me.

Sequoia

When you find out your significant other cheated, what's your first reaction? Cry? Destroy their things? What? Well, surprisingly I did none of that, I took the news calmly and honestly I can't say I didn't expect that. He cheated on Penelope with me, how did I not see it coming?

What did I expect? He's notorious for cheating and now I regret not listening to my mother or anyone else for that matter. Daniel being one, even if he did confess his feelings for me I feel bad for dropping him. He thankfully accepted our friendship back, now we're close again and I feel great. Penelope, I've actually spoken to her and she accepted my apology - I'm lying, She told me to go play in moving traffic but it didn't bother me because I expected that also.

What I didn't expect was to have spoken to the girl Justin cheated on me with- Sarah? She called me, she cried on the phone and apologized; she claimed that sleeping with a taken man wasn't her thing and I understood because once upon a time, I said that too. Jade called me stupid for forgiving her, but she didn't understand that forgiving is better than holding on to a grudge that could ruin you.

Jade didn't understand a lot of things, like why didn't I just set Justin's clothes on fire or why I didn't slash his tires like I usually would, or why I was leaving for France now. There was a reason I was leaving, there was nothing here for me and I knew it. I couldn't take Justin back because once you lose trust in someone, it can't be restored. You can never forget what they did to you, every time you look at them all you can remember is how bad they fùcked you over.

That's how it is with Justin, when he came into the condo yesterday. All I saw was images with him and another woman withered underneath him, while he gave her the pleasure I was supposed to receive, the look only he was supposed to give me. Kissing her places where he kissed me and whispering words of praise like he did for me. Everything he did for me, he turned right around and did for her.

Now I know how Penelope feels, or anyone who is cheated on. Its a horrible feeling to have the one you gave your soul, body, heart, and mind to , break you so scandalously. Like the words of love they once spoke to you, didn't matter one bit. How they would easily throw away everything you gave to them, leaving you to feel empty and foolish. I certainly feel foolish, because I broke off so many things for Justin thinking he changed for me when he didn't.

I hadn't realized I was crying until the tears fell on my hands, I quickly reached up to wipe them away. Hell, I didn't want people to look at me weirdly, I already look horrible enough with my eyes bloodshot and three suitcases by my side. My phone was vibrating vigorously in my hand, I thought it would be Justin, calling to beg for forgiveness but instead it was my mother. She knew I was coming home, and she was grateful for it. I was just grateful she didn't rub the whole situation in my face.

"Hello?" my voice croaked, I had to clear my throat so I wouldn't sound like a forty year nicotine user.

"Cheri, did you board the plane yet?" her voice was soft, I knew she was talking this way because she was giving me sympathy. Everyone was giving me sympathy and it was annoying, I would like for everyone to stop treating me like a child. I'm twenty two and old enough to know everyone goes through heartbreaks, its apart of life.

Just as she said that, my flight was called and I was relieved. I wasn't sure why, but I kind of wanted Justin to come after me like in movies. The only thing was, I wasn't going to run into his arms and kiss the life out of him. No, none of that sappy teen fiction stuff- I was going to beat him in front of hundreds of people then walk off with my suitcases and start fresh with my life.

"My flight was just called, ma I'll see you in a few hours."

"well okay, have a safe trip, I love you sweetie."

I quickly hung up and gathered my things, surprisingly all of my clothes fit in three large bags. Considering all I do is buy new clothes and makeup, when I can of course. Most people would throw out everything that reminded them of their ex, I didn't. I kept every piece of clothing he bought me not because I'm holding on. No, because I look cute in them, why would I waste beautiful clothing and such?

My heart may be broken but I'm not stupid.

I tried not to laugh at my thoughts as I went through security yet again, because America has trust issues. Like me now, for a person who just went through it, I was taking thus lightly. But I knew that was only for now, in a few hours I'd probably be in my new apartment crying my eyes out because I wasn't that strong. Everyone had a breaking point and mine was close, I couldn't hold out forever.

Until then, I'll continue to think about how things would be different if I hadn't even got pulled over. If I actually accepted my ticket instead of getting myself involved with Justin. Or would things be different if I left him the second I found out he was married, and the fact that I didn't was stupid on my part. As soon as I saw that picture, I should've just ignored him or told him to leave me alone but I didn't.

Because I had loved him then, and I'm just now realizing how long my heart had belonged to him. I just hadn't said anything to him, why would I? Then, I would've scared him off so fast, now he could return the feeling back. Yet again were there tears on my face, and I quickly wiped them away just as I sat in my seat. A woman next to me looked at me with pity, and I don't blame her.

I was a mess as of right now, I didn't like it but that's how it is. I got my karma, I received my punishment for what I did and for not listening to a word from my mother's mouth when I should've. Now, I was starting over and I was going to tell myself everyday, from here on out; you deserve better.

I don't have to settle for less, no one does, woman or not. If you're cheated on, leave immediately - you don't need it. If you cheat, think about the consequences because everything you cherish will be gone. You'll be labeled as a cheater, and you'll probably never change and I learned the hard way.

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

End

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Thank you guys for reading, it has been nice and the epilogue will be up soon. I'm still deciding if there will be a sequel, because idk.

I wanna thank the people who were reading this story before it got to 188k+ reads and what not. I wanna thank bieology for the ending idea, SHE'S THE REASON ITS ENDING LIKE THIS ITS NOT MY FAULT ATTACK HER LMAO. SHE SAID SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF GETTING KARMA. OH AND BLAME Perfxt_ because her comments gave me the idea too, she also thought Sequoia didn't deserve a happy ending, I'm throwing them under the bus lololol.

Anyway, thank you guys. Read my new story Unexpected leader, it's a job story and its mafia also because honestly, I'm obsessed with Italians now smh.

Love you guys,

-kae