I was in a classroom.

That was all I could figure out for the moment. I glanced around me in a daze. Bright holograms displayed equations in the front of the room. A stern appearing teacher manipulated the numbers with a silver pen as he spoke in a droning tone. The students sat in white rounded chairs, with clear desks in front of them that had similar projections to the one the teacher was lecturing on. Each student appeared about 18 or so, wearing a crisp black military uniform with silver trim. There appeared to be mostly men in the room, with a few women here and there.

Glancing down at myself, I noted a similar uniform, with a blue badge in the shape of a shield with a clearly printed "s" on it. My hands were pale, slender, with obvious calluses on the pads of my fingers. Am I a soldier? But this seems to be a classroom...

The desk in front of me was filled with numbers and figures I didn't understand, but scrolling across the side was a short sentence, obviously some sort of private message.

"You stuck up jerk! How dare you embarrass Chris like this?!"

It was sent by someone called "Allie." I read it, completely lost and confused.

Why am I here? Where is this place? Who am I?

I couldn't remember anything. I felt a dull burn of panic. My hands tightened into fists, the short, well trimmed nails digging into my palms.

Another message scrolled down the side of the screen from "Allie":

"Don't ignore me! You need to apologize to Chris! This is why everyone hates you, even if you're an S level Guardian! You'll always be alone!"

Well, whoever I am, at least I'm popular.

I raised my hand, startling the teacher in the front who paused. "Yes, Guardian Alaira?"

Is that my name?

I cleared my throat. "I have to go to the bathroom."

He frowned. "Well, don't let me stand in your way."

"Oh you couldn't even if you wanted to." I spoke without thinking, ignoring the surprised whispers of the classmates around me. Getting up quickly, I followed signs until I found a restroom, closing myself in a stall to think.

What should I do next?

As I tried hard not to panic, I noticed the metallic blue bracelet on my wrist flashing. Another message from that Allie person? I tapped the accessory, curious, and a hologram popped up in front of me, with bright blue words.

**** NEW WORLD: A GUARDIAN'S MIGHT****

New world? I sighed, feeling more confused as the words distorted into random symbols, with only a small amount of readable text shown.

%$#@&*^!@)HJR#YUF#GF01297 ***** ERROR, PUNISHMENT MISSION INITIATED *****UWHIFDQ&*@^#%#^&@(!G@!YJ!GO^@!#@!#&@)!*$G

****All assisting world information has been withheld. Please complete the mission guided solely by character memories. ****

"Mission?" I spoke out loud, frustrated. "What mission? What do you mean character memories?!"

Your mission: Prevent destruction of the human race by the alien monster race known as The Hive.

"Oh, only that? Just save the human race?" I felt a little silly being sarcastic with a bracelet, but my mood was bad enough not to care. "Are you sure you don't want anything else while I'm at it?"

**** DO YOU ACCEPT THIS MISSION?****

I stared at the cold words in front of me, fighting off a strong feeling of déjà vu. "No. I don't accept this mission! Find someone else to save the human race!"

**** DO YOU ACCEPT THIS MISSION?****

"NO!"

**** DO YOU ACCEPT THIS MISSION?****

"Why is there no option to refuse?! What happens if I don't accept?"

*&(#@*!@GRPIF@!****Refusal option removal was requested by yourself. If the mission is refused or not completed successfully, then the agreement will be considered invalid, and your fate will be restored.******&&EG@YEO@BB65

I didn't understand. What mission? Why had I requested the refusal option to be removed? Is this thing even telling the truth?

But even though I still couldn't remember anything, staring at the words "Your fate will be restored" I felt a strong rejection from the depths of my soul. I might not know why I was here, or what my fate was, but I knew without a doubt that I could never accept that option.

**** DO YOU ACCEPT THIS MISSION?****

I sighed, frustrated. "Yes."

Character memory transfer initiated.

A horrible splitting pain struck me as my mind was overwhelmed with memories and emotions that weren't my own. I screamed in agony, clawing at the stall door, desperate for relief but with no way to escape the pain within me. Time passed, I was unsure how long, but as I grew clearer, I realized I was leaning on the metal door, tears and cold sweat trailing down my face and soaking my collar.

"...Umm are you okay?" I heard a concerned voice outside of the toilet stall.

Brushing off the feeling of déjà vu once more, I cleared my throat and answered, my voice slightly hoarse.

"Just going through an early life crisis. "

"...Aren't we all." I heard the sympathetic stranger walk away, and closed my eyes, gathering my thoughts.

__________________________

There were memories in my head that weren't my own. They strived to take over my mind, convincing me that the memories belonged to me, but I resisted, clinging to a sense of separation from them. It helped that the content of the memories made me want to reject the idea of them being my own.

They were not happy memories.

Her name is... Alaira? Or is it my name? I gripped my head, confused. It seemed familiar, but... off. I sighed with frustration and sifted through the memories.

Alaira had not lived a happy life.

She was born in a world of interstellar travel, of advanced technology, laser weapons and large mechanized humanoid weapons known as "Mechs".

Sci-fi story. My brain supplemented, unsure of where the information was coming from.

As the human race advanced, they encountered a single intelligent alien species. Named "the Hive" by the explorers who discovered them, as they appeared like winged ants the size of humans. They traveled in colonies flying through space, guided by enormous spaceship sized "Queen" aliens. They descended on worlds, consuming all plant and animal life, stripping it bare and leaving for the next one.

The humans made a peaceful contact, but were quickly captured and consumed.

Their exoskeletons were impervious to smaller laser weapons, and their ability to multiply in enormous numbers made them a terrifying threat to the newly advanced human race. All attempts at communication were blocked, the Hive only saw them as a source of food.

Thus Mechs were created.

__________________________

I opened the door to the bathroom, moving quietly down the hallways according to the new memories in my head, towards the hanger. As I neared the doorway, I felt nervous, feeling like an imposter, but no one called out to stop me. I scanned my retina at the door, and they slid open silently, allowing me in to the enormous hanger.

The room was filled with Mechs, an awe-inspiring sight. The robots were three stories tall, each customized with different weapons and designs. I walked to the back of the hanger, where the memories told me Alaira's Mech was stored.

It was magnificent.

Black and gold, it shined under the lights like a precious gem. A large sword was strapped to its back, small spikes lined the shoulders and helmet. It looked fierce and aggressive, and I felt a thrill of excitement at the idea of climbing into it.

As I neared the machine, the eyes glowed a bright blue, and I felt a comfortable buzz in the back of my mind. It was the Connection, the proof that I was a Guardian.

With the creation of mechs, two types of humans emerged, each with a different brainwave pattern.

First there was the Guardians, those with an alpha pattern, which allowed them to connect with mechs and drive them as easily as operating their own bodies. They were the warriors, the backbone of the defense against the Hive, the protectors of humanity.

The stronger the alpha pattern, the faster and more responsive the Mech would be. Alaira, as an S leveled Guardian, was the strongest level seen in generations. She was destined to be a first rate warrior, just like her father, a renowned general.

But the ability to control Mechs came at a cost.

I connected with the Mech, opening and closing my hand. The robot mimicked my movements, the enormous hand making a fist in front of me. As I made it move, I felt a sense of weight settle on my mind, a draining of my mental energy.

A Guardian could control a Mech alone, but the mental strength it cost them would slowly eat away at them. The stronger the Guardian, the worse this draw would be. Eventually the burden of energy on their mind would be too much, causing collapse. A burnt out Guardian became an empty husk, an irreparable state where the brain had been destroyed.

Which is where Connectors came in.

As humans with a delta brain wave pattern, Connectors couldn't control the Mechs. What they could do is connect to both the Guardian and the Mech, sharing the mental burden. It prevented mental decay in the Guardian, and allowed the control of the Mech to be smoother and stronger.

Each Guardian hoped to have a connector, to save them from destruction, and allow them to fight at their best, but it took more than just two random people with the right brain patterns to join.

Only a pair that resonated could control the Mech together. The stronger the pattern, the harder to find a resonating partner.

Alaira was the strongest Guardian, but she couldn't find a Connector, forcing her to bear the burden of a Mech alone.

Or at least... she couldn't find a Connector willing to pair with her.

__________________________

I sighed, releasing the Mech back to its sleep-like state, rubbing my temples where a dull headache had started.

How am I supposed to fulfill my mission of saving humanity if driving a Mech will slowly destroy my mind?

As I mulled this over, I mentally prepared to return to class, only to be interrupted my the sound of my new name.

"Alaira!" A quiet voice called out. I turned, feeling an inexplicable sense of guilt, a cold sweat breaking out in my back. I forced a normal smile on my face.

"Wen." I recognized the petite girl in torn overalls covered in grease, as a young engineering student who helped maintain the Mechs. "Something wrong?"

Wen hesitated, obviously uncomfortable, but seemed to come to a silent decision and spoke up. "Why did you have to embarrass Chris like that?"

It was the same "Chris" that Allie had been sending me angry messages about in class. I frowned, thinking of the memory from the previous day.

It was confusing, obviously today was the start of her second year in military academy, but the memories in my head went long past that time to graduation.

All the way to the fight with the Hive that destroyed Alaira's mind and took her life.

But I quickly thought of the event that the girls were referencing. At the start of the year, there were a series of mock battles in Mechs. Alaira had come first, defeating not only those in her year but even the few challengers from the year above.

Chris, a D level guardian in her year, had challenged her confidently. Alaira hadn't wanted to accept, given the power difference, but after he insisted, she agreed.The result was what could be expected:

It was a pathetic fight.

Alaira had defeated Chris within 30 seconds, forcing him to surrender without taking any damage herself.

"Chris is the one that challenged me. Was I supposed to let him win?" I frowned at the young teenage girl, feeling tired.

"You didn't have to humiliate him like that! You never even let him get a chance to fight back!" Wen glared at me.

"This isn't a game, Wen. We're training to go to war." I sighed. "Would the Hive give him a chance like that? I wouldn't be doing him any favors if I went easy on him. I would only give him false confidence that could get him killed."

"You just don't understand!" Wen was crying. I felt a weariness within my soul at the sight.

Heroine. I wasn't sure why I thought this, but it seemed to fit well in my mind.

"You're right, I don't."

"This is why he hates you!" At her bitter words, I surprisingly felt a severe sharp pain in my chest. It was an emotion that wasn't my own, but belonging to Alaira.

I could care less if this "Chris" liked me or not, but obviously Alaira cared a great deal.

I turned away, rubbing my chest idly as if that could soothe the intense pain. "If me not cheating and letting him win makes him hate me, then Chris is not worth liking."

I walked away, leaving the shocked girl behind me.

Chris. I was curious to meet him.

__________________________

I returned to class, finishing it without event. Fortunately Alaira had been a good student, and the knowledge of not only this class but the classes in the years ahead were well stored in my mind. I idly filled out the homework on the screen during class, completing the resonance equations with reassuring ease. Multiple messages criticizing my treatment of Chris displayed on the side o fmy screen, not only from Allie who had sent them previously, but several other girls as well.

How many girls does this one man have defending him? I scrolled through the messages, slightly impressed at the variety of insults I was being called.

Points for originality I guess, although for unclear motives. I beat the guy in an official match, and they're all acting like I shot his dog. How fragile is his self-esteem?

I put the beaten man-child with the army of female defenders to the back of my mind, finishing up my homework, reaching the end of class with a relieved sigh. I wasn't sure about anything in my original memories, but I knew one thing without a doubt.

I absolutely hated being in school again.

Again? I questioned myself silently, but my mind refused to give way, keeping everything I wanted to know locked up securely.

__________________________

As I left class, my wrist communicator went off. It was Alaira's father, General Gladus. I found an empty classroom and sat down. Taking a deep breath to steady my nerves, I answered it.

It's okay. You have all the memories of his daughter, he shouldn't notice too much.

A handsome middle-aged man in a military uniform appeared as a hologram before me. "Congrats sweetie! I heard you took first place in the mock battles yesterday!"

At least someone's not going to gripe at me for embarrassing Chris.

I smiled. "Thanks, Dad. I'll keep working hard to make you proud."

"I'm already proud." He shook his head slowly. "Any word on a resonance match?"

His hopeful tone made me feel guilty. Her father knew better than most the burden of being an unmatched Guardian, having spent 5 years fighting before finding a Connector. He still had headaches as a result of this, and had to take medication to prevent seizures. It had been his greatest fear that his daughter, an even stronger Guardian than him, might never find a partner.

"Nothing so far." I answered, staring down at my hands.

"What about that boy Chris?"

I winced at the name. How many times will he be brought up today? "He wants to be a Guardian. He refuses to be my Connector. "

The general snorted disdainfully. "He's only a level D Guardian, you can find that anywhere. But his delta wave is an A level, and he can match you, an S level Guardian! How is the school allowing this?!"

I could hear the frustration in his voice, but I could only smile bitterly, fighting off another wave of pain, courtesy of Alaira's remnant emotions.

"Do you want me to make a call?"

"You can't force someone to match with me, Dad." I tried to comfort him. "I'll go by the match center again and see if there are any new applicants."

He looked mildly surprised. "Are you sure? I thought you told me you wouldn't go back?"

I thought over Alaira's memories, standing in the center without a match, being mocked until she felt too embarrassed to return.

Still not as bad as getting my mind burned out in the middle of a fight and dying.

"I'm sure." I answered with a definitive tone.

"I'm so happy to hear that, dearest." He grinned. "You let me know if anyone gives you trouble. I'll beat them up!"

I felt a deep sadness. The original Alaira had loved her father deeply, only wanting to make him proud. She had hidden how fast her mental decay had progressed, hoping to win military achievements, only to fail in a large battle on graduation day, dying in action and leaving him behind.

I won't fail him. Or you. I said silently to the memories, feeling the pain slowly recede.

__________________________

Saying goodbye to Alaira's father, I moved towards the match center, mentally preparing to re-apply.

"Alaira!" A male voice called out.

I turned, seeing a tall blond young man that I easily recognized from my memories.

"What, did you finally run out of girls to send to cry at me and come to scold me in person?" I raised an eyebrow, and smiled mockingly. "Or are you here to ask me to go easier on you next time so that you can preserve your ego better?"

He frowned at my words. "I didn't send anyone to scold you, and I don't plan to do so myself." His light green eyes shone with a determined light. "I don't need it. I'm going to get stronger and beat you in a fair fight. Just you wait!"

I stared at the enthusiastic young man and fought the urge to sigh.

Male lead.

The title bubbled up from my subconscious, fitting him perfectly.

Chris. A young man who seemed to shine brighter than anyone else. He was a dual wave type, carrying both the alpha wave of a Guardian and a delta wave of a Connector. However, despite his natural abilities as a Guardian being much weaker, he refused to be a Connector, practicing day and night to be a better Guardian.

Alaira had watched him stay late night after night, practicing, working hard. She had slowly begun to respect him, and as the years in the academy went by, that respect seemed to develop into something more. She watched at the sidelines as he developed multiple relationships with other girls: a beautiful Connector, a cute engineer, a shy pilot. Each one he treated with care and tenderness, and the girls seemed more than happy to compete with each other for his affection.

Alaira on the other hand, despite her feelings, couldn't even ask for that much.

She had a 68% resonance match with Chris as a Connector. Anything over 50% was enough to help prevent mental decay. Once the matching result was found, Chris had faced enormous pressure to give up being a Guardian and pair up with Alaira. After all, an S level guardian is a precious resource, and the school wanted to preserve it.

Chris saw her as an obstacle to his dream of being a warrior. Despite the fact that the young woman had never tried to force him to be her Connector, he constantly isolated her, competed against her, and encouraged those around him to humiliate her when he lost in fights with her. Alaira had tried to be understanding, tried to be patient, but all she had ever received in response to her attempts at friendship was scorn.

"So don't even think of trying to force me to pair with you, Alaira, even if you did beat me in a fight! You just caught me unawares last time. I'll work even harder and next time, I'll show you! I'm going to be ten times the Guardian you ever will be!" He sneered. "So don't come crying to me about not having a Connector anymore. It's pathetic."

My chest hurt again. This girl really liked him, didn't she?

"Do you hear me, Alaira?"

Fortunately, even if I don't have my memories, I do know one thing:

"Hey!"

I'm not like her.

I laughed, loudly. It sounded slightly villainous, but was strangely comfortable.

"What are you...?"

"Oh shut up, you worthless piece of human garbage!" I interrupted, rolling my eyes. "You could be ten times the Guardian you are right now, and you STILL wouldn't be able to beat me in a fight. 'Caught you unawares'?" I made quotation marks with my fingers, laughing again. "That's cute. Next time I'll tell you every move I make before I do it."

"You...!"

I grinned. "Oh don't worry, I don't mind. Even if I gave you every possible advantage I can still beat you with my eyes closed."

"Don't be so arrogant!" Chris's face was red with rage.

"You want to see arrogant? I haven't even warmed up yet, you mediocre crybaby." I spread my hands. "Don't pretend that the tens of messages and confrontations I've had all day with your little fan girls have nothing to do with you. You can't spur them on, and then pretend to be innocent. Even an idiot could see through your excuses, much less me, who is much smarter than you."

I paused, enjoying his tormented expression. "Oh, and by the way, I don't want you to be my Connector. We may have a resonance match, but I would have to trust you enough to let you into my mind." Shaking my head, I continued. "I wouldn't trust you to be able to fight your way out of an open paper bag, much less form an intricate connection between myself and a massive killing machine."

"No, you're lying!" Chris was shocked. "I'm your only chance at not being destroyed by mental decay!"

"Oh, so you actually admit that now? How funny. But guess what?" I leaned closer, whispering. "I'd rather have my mind destroyed than let you into it."

"You... you..."

"Have a good day, Guardian Chris. And good luck with the next match." I walked passed him. "Even with good luck, you'll still lose, so take all of it that you want."

I left him behind with another villainous laugh, feeling satisfied. The leftover emotions from Alaira were boiling within me, and complicated.

It was true that she had admired Chris, liked him, and hoped he would like her back.

But I had memories of her story all the way to the end.

Right before graduation she had come to him, begging. Her mind was corroding, much faster than anyone had ever calculated. It was possible that her powers were even greater than level S, but just couldn't be measured. Tortured as her mental powers broke apart, knowing she had no options, she had gone to Chris to beg.

She had told him the truth, and asked him to help her.

"What does that have to do with me?" He had stared at her coldly, as a stranger, rather than a girl who had dedicated time to help him train, provided him with resources, treated him as a friend.

She had left, feeling defeated. At this point she was nearly delusional, her mind cracking, and it never even occurred to her to not participate in the final exam at graduation, where the student troops joined a real battle alongside the military. She couldn't truly comprehend that she was going to her death, even as she felt the despair and helplessness of not being able to change her situation.

But Chris knew.

Even if he continued to refuse to be her connector, he had seen the state that Alaira was in. He saw that one more fight would destroy her.

But he had told no one. No other students, no teachers, not even the military leaders as they came to inspect the Guardian teams before the fight.

He had even volunteered her to be the lead in the attack, a position of honor, but the one with the most mental strain.

Alaira hadn't seen it, but I could. My mind wasn't fractured, nor was it clouded by feelings of affection.

He had wanted her to be destroyed.

I didn't know what happened in the battle after her death, but given that her mission was to "save humanity from destruction" I guessed things hadn't gone well.

I wasn't sure how I was going to prevent the mental decay. But I knew one thing for absolute certain:

I wasn't about to trust Chris.

__________________________

I headed for the Match Center.

Outside the door to the center, I hesitated, feeling Alaira's sense of shame and resistance. She had been here countless times during her first year in military academy, and other than the match with Chris, had always come up empty. Compared to Guardians who could choose from dozens of candidates, she had felt pathetic and alone.

Oh well, I've been through worse... at least, I'm pretty sure I have.

As I prepared to walk through, I heard a commotion behind me, and turned around to walk.

"Hurry, get out of the way, Prince William is coming!" A girl whispered to her companion, pulling her to the side of the hallway.

Prince William?

Human society had a monarchy as part of the government, I knew from Alaira's memories. Although more of a figurehead than a true controlling branch of government, the people still greatly respected and cared for the royal family.

So why is there no memory of a Prince William? Was there a problem with Alaira's memories?

Curious, I turned around and watched as a young man walked down the hallway alone.

The first thing I noticed was his expression. It was cold, detatched, as if he had nothing to do with anyone or anything around him. He was tall and thin, with short, neatly trimmed black hair and dark blue eyes that stared ahead without focusing on any particular person around him. His features were handsome, even more so than Chris who was considered the best looking student in our year. His pace was even, and he moved down the hallway without pause or hurry.

Everyone around him moved at least 3 feet away as he walked past. At first I thought it was out of fear or respect, but quickly realized that he was projecting a mental shield around him. The purpose would normally be to protect him from physical attacks, but in this context pushed anyone who tried to be close to him away. I saw one girl try to move closer with a flirtatious smile, only to bounce off his shield and land on her butt, groaning.

How powerful is his mental strength? Searching through Alaira's memories, I found that only A level or higher Connectors and Guardians could have this skill, and usually after years of practice. Alaira had practiced the skill before graduation, but the mental decay had grown too strong before she had succeeded.

As he stepped closer, I didn't move out of the way, mildly curious as to what it would feel like to be pushed by the barrier. As far as I could tell, I would just hit the edge of it, with no danger of actually standing in his way.

If I'm standing still, will it just push me back like those in the hallway, or will I bounce off like the girl who is still pouting on the floor? I watched as he moved towards me, bracing myself...

Only to lose my balance as he walked next to me, and there was no barrier for me to bounce off of.

What the... Why didn't I hit the barrier?

I tilted off balance as I had been compensating for the anticipated hit, and fell towards the floor.

How embarrassing, I didn't even get hit by the shield and I'm gonna fall flat on my face. At least the other girl landed on her butt! I put my hands up to catch myself and protect my face from the floor...

But was caught in a strong grasp and placed back on my feet.

I blinked, shocked, as I looked at the indifferent appearing prince who had set me upright. He met my gaze expressionlessly, and I couldn't tell if he was annoyed or not.

"Umm... Thanks, for catching me."

"..." He shook his head silently.

What does that mean? I don't need to thank him? He's annoyed that I fell in front of him? That I shouldn't be near him to begin with?

Confused, I stepped away, noting that everyone else was still at least 3 feet away from the prince. But as far as I could tell, there wasn't a shield up. At least not one that I could feel.

"Well... have a nice day." I winced at the awkward tone but turned towards the Matching Center, hoping to escape.

"... You're looking for a match?" A low voice spoke up in a pleasant tone.

I froze in my tracks, and turned back towards Prince William who was staring at me silently. "Yeah." I finally answered.

There was a long pause. "You're a second year student."

It was said as a statement, but I heard the implied question within it. Most students found their match within the first year.

I shrugged. "Yeah, it's been a little tough to find a good match, but I'll keep trying." I grinned at him. "After all, I'm hoping to avoid my brain being destroyed."

"... hmm." He made a noncommittal noise, which I couldn't make any sense of.

"Well... then... I'm gonna go..." I felt even more awkward at his staring, and stepped backwards towards the Match Center.

It must be my imagination, but why do I get the feeling that he's... upset... that I'm trying to match in the center?

He didn't try to stop me again, however, and I rushed into the center.

__________________________

A girl stared at me in shock as I entered, turning off her wristband which was showing a hologram video of my conversation with Prince William. Did someone record it? "You... he actually spoke to you?"

"Does he not normally talk?" I couldn't help but ask. Why doesn't Alaira have memories of him?! This is so inconvenient!

"No! He never talks! He stays away from everyone, you can't even stand close to him normally." The girl looked at me enviously. "How'd you get him to talk to you?"

"...I honestly have no idea."

Since she had no answer to that, I ended the conversation, going into the Match room, and placing my hands on the panel. The machine lit up, and a robotic voice spoke.

"Welcome, Guardian Alaira, level S. Please activate your mental energy, and a match will be located."

Here's hoping. I activated my mental energy as instructed, feeling it flow into the machine in front of me.

...

...

After a very long pause the voice spoke up once more.

"No Match Available."

I sighed with disappointment. I was hoping that there would be a match among the freshman that just came in. Alaira didn't check until much later in the year, after most people would have already matched. Well, she WAS hoping that Chris would change his mind.

I guess that would be too easy. I noticed that as the machine had been searching, a crowd had formed in the Match Room behind me. As the announcement went out, whispers started up.

"What a big surprise, the loner Guardian is still alone!"

"How pathetic, she's even trying to recruit from the freshman, no one from our class would want her."

"It's what she deserves, for embarrassing Chris like that!"

Seriously, how many supporters does this guy have?! This is getting ridiculous!

Ignoring the laughs and increasingly loud mocking comments, I left the match area.

__________________________

I went back to my dorm, laying down on the bed and staring at the ceiling.

So... I don't know who I am, but I'm stuck in this world until I can save humanity from a super powerful alien race attack... and the only weapon I have will corrode my mind over time as I use it. Just. Great.

I sighed, massaging my temples.

Even worse, I have to go back to school in the morning.

...

I miss him.

The thought came up suddenly, accompanied by silent tears that soaked the pillow underneath my head, but I couldn't even remember who I was missing or why.

It took a long time for me to fall asleep, feeling tired and alone.