Is'haaq had walked away, ignoring Ihsaan's silent plea. Too much had happened between them to forgive him just yet. He stared after him dolefully, watching his wide frame escape into the elevator before he looked back at the bed. For the first time in months, Mikaeel looked at his friend sober and clean. His clothes were ironed and he smelled relatively okay but most of all his eyes were clear and there was not even a whiff of weed or cigarette smoke around him.

"You scared the shit out of me last night." Ihsaan said, unknowingly standing in the exact same spot Is'haaq had occupied just a few minutes earlier.

Mikaeel looked up at him, wondering if the asshole even knew what he had done the previous day.

Ihsaan looked at him awkwardly, stumped at Mikaeel's lack of response. He cracked his knuckles, looking out the doorway at a random painting hanging on the wall trying to gather up the words floating around in his mind. "I hardly remember the past few months." His voice was soft and he himself seemed surprised to have spoken at all. "I remember bits here and there but it's mostly a complete blank. I remember waking up in stranger's beds sometimes and I remember waking up in my own bed but I don't remember much in between."

Mikaeel's stare was beginning to unnerve him. It wasn't as if he was just allowing him to talk- it was more like he was having a fucking hard time keeping it all in and Ihsaan was sure that if he wasn't stuck in a bed, he'd probably have his ass handed to him on a fucking silver platter.

"I was fired three weeks ago." He confessed heavily. "I was fucking stoned while they were talking. They were pissed when I started laughing and had security take me out." Ihsaan knocked the back of his head gently against the wall behind him. "And I sold Dahlia's wedding ring three days ago..."

Mikaeel only lifted an eyebrow at the statement, his face growing more and more angry with each word. "It was white gold with a 12 carat diamond and I sold it for a thousand bucks." He laughed almost pitifully as he said that. "It was from Sterns. I paid what... almost 15 grand for it and I sold it for 1," He said running a hand through his thinning hair. "I actually sold my baby's ring."

"She's still your baby?" Mikaeel's voice finally echoed in the room, reminding Ihsaan that there was someone who still loved Dahlia even though he had forgotten how to.

"She'll always be my baby." He said, smiling sadly as he looked down at his faded all-stars.

"So then why'd you do it?" He didn't need to specify anything. Ihsaan would know well enough what he meant.

How was he supposed to answer that question?

"She would always get dressed up before she went out with her clients and I would watch her. I would watch her wear her silk panties and her matching bra. I would watch her put on her make-up with shaky fingers and I would zip up her dress whenever she couldn't do it herself. And when she came home, she would first shower and come out dressed in these... fucking ugly rags and we'd sit in the lounge together." His voice sounded hoarse and breathless as he put words to all the memories of his beautiful wife. "And as we lit up, sometimes her sleeves would drop a bit and I'd see the bruises on her wrists and when we were in bed I'd see the marks on her neck and her hips and her legs..."

His voice screamed of months and months of regret and heartache and tears that he never allowed himself to feel. It felt as if every valve in his heart and every vessel in his body was exploding as he spoke and he remembered his wife's dyed blonde curls and her chubby stomach and her round thighs...

He remembered her pink and blue braces glinting in the sunshine and her giggle that seemed to erupt from deep within her belly whenever he kissed her nose. He remembered how she used to drip chocolate ice-cream down the front of all her white t-shirts and her smile whenever he opened her can of coke for her. His heart finally mourned for the years and years and years of love that they had that was destroyed in an instant. He allowed her to be used and abused by assholes who never knew her like he did. Who only had sex with her. They never made love to her like he did. They never told her that she was beautiful and kissed the blush off her cheeks every time she heard it. They never kissed her or held her hands like he did as if he was afraid to hurt her. They only took from her and took from her and took from her and they never once allowed her to feel anything. She was dying from the inside out and they only ever kept on hurting her more and more and more.

He knew the way she liked to be touched. He knew that she always wanted him to be gentle with her and she wanted him to whisper sweet nothings in her ear as he undressed her slowly... He knew his wife. He knew her- they only knew the act she would put on for them. They only knew that she liked whatever they liked even if she hated it.

They never knew her. They never knew his Dahlia, not like he did.

He didn't even know when he had slid down to the floor but he barely even felt the cold tiles press against the material of his jeans as he buried his face in his hands- allowing himself, for once, to just feel.

"I wanted to make her jealous. I thought if I made her jealous..." he cringed at his juvenile thoughts. "Farah and Is'haaq went out with us a lot after Hoori got sick and I don't know how it happened but when Dahlia found out about it," he wiped the wet sheen away from the bottom of his nose with the back of his palm, "It was like she knew it would happen. She didn't scream or shout or argue... She just shrugged and walked away to get dressed. It was like... we were spinning in a whirlpool but we were on opposite sides and no matter how hard we tried, nothing ever seemed to make sense."

"What about Hoori?"

Ihsaan shrugged, not even knowing how to explain it. "When I first found out about her I was pissed. I thought I could use Hoori to make her jealous. I couldn't get near Naazli because you know- There's never a time when Shuayb's hand isn't down her fucking pants and at the time...Is'haaq is built like a fucking ox. I was terrified of him."

He looked up, flinching at the look on Mikaeel's face, before he looked down at his lap again. "You never liked her. I knew you wouldn't care if something happened because you told me yourself. She was boring and you didn't know why the fuck you married her...."

"So what changed?"

"You told me to stop." Ihsaan looked up at him as if he was surprised Mikaeel even asked.

"What?"

"Ya, remember?" Ihsaan stood up again, walking to the foot of Mikaeel's bed. "You came home and you told me to leave her alone."

"But when she asked you to stop?" Mikaeel clenched his jaw, annoyed at himself for never actually believing her at first.

He only looked down at the ring binder on the table, fingering the letters printed on the cover. "I never would have done anything."

"The fuck..." Mikaeel raked a hand through his own hair, wincing at the pulling on his side. "You knew you made her uncomfortable and you still carried on."

"I don't know..." He looked away, flicking his eyes to the doorway once again. "I wasn't thinking about her okay. I just wanted a reaction from Dahlia and I knew it never bothered you until... you know..."

"That's fucked up Ihsaan." Mikaeel said, shaking his head at his friend. "That's just fucked up."

"I'm sorry, okay." He looked back up at Mikaeel, truly apologising for the first time in months. "I'm sorry."

And not just for Hoori. He was apologising for all the times he woke Mikaeel up to fetch them and for never listening to him when he told him to slow down with what he was doing and for blaming him for Dahlia's death and for the thousands of other things he had done wrong over the past few years. "You know I always told you my parents kicked me out because I covered for you when I took the coke from your pocket and put it into my own."

"Yeah?"

"I lied. My mum caught me stealing her bracelet and they sent me away to live my grandfather but I just... never wanted you to know." His voice sounded small as he spoke, "My parents don't want me back home. They're scared I'll be a bad influence on Hammaad's kids." He said, referring to his 3 nephews.

"They're right." Mikaeel said truthfully. "You need to get your shit sorted out."

"I know." Ihsaan only nodded his head, "I'm checking myself into a rehab program in Langebaan."

"Good."

"Yeah..." He sighed heavily. From everyone he had ever known, it was only Mikaeel who had never given up on him. He was still there where he had always been. "I promise I'll come back."

They were simple words but for the two friends, they held a meaning as far reaching as all the oceans and all the seas and Mikaeel prayed that this would be a promise that Ihsaan would actually keep.

...

"Hey." Hoori walked in, holding a bag of crisp and a bottle of water. "You said you wanted the salt and vinegar right?"

"Ya." He held his hands out for the bag, opening it almost savagely. "They're fucking starving me with their food."

"It's only one more night Mika..." She sighed at his dramatics. "You'll be discharged tomorrow morning right?"

"Uhm hmm." He said distractedly.

"Did they tell you what happened?" She asked, raising an eyebrow at the rate at which he was consuming the food in his hand.

"I was right there. I think I know what happened."

"Not what I meant." She mumbled, ignoring his moodiness as she sat down beside him.

"Mr Ebrahim." A friendly voice sounded from the doorway causing various curse to words stumble out of Mikaeel's mouth. "How are you doing?"

"Just fine." He replied, looking up warily at the older doctor.

"Mrs Ebrahim." Dr Krenak smiled down at Hoori, "Nice to see you up and about."

"Thanks Dr Krenak." She said politely.

"So as you know, my son was the one who did the operation."

"Of course he fucking was..." Mikaeel muttered under his breath.

"He said you were lucky. The knife missed your heart by an inch."

"I don't feel very lucky."

"No, no I don't suppose you would." His eyes involuntarily flickered back down to Mikaeel's crotch for a split second before looking back up. "Although you will need to be in here every day for at least a week to change your bandages even if we do discharge you."

"Can I drive?" Mikaeel looked up at him, wiping his hands on a small towel besides his bed.

"Uhm..." Dr Krenak looked down at him oddly, "I wouldn't advise it but if you feel you can do it then fine. Though no strenuous physical activities or even normal stretching. For at least a few days, keep stretching to a minimum."

"Define physical activities." Hoori went red at his question, subtly rubbing her forehead with her hands to hide her reddening cheeks.

"Going to work, carrying anything heavier than a few kilos, sex, reaching for things in higher places..." Mr Krenak answered rather bluntly.

"I see." Mikaeel's lips turned up watching Hoori's expression.

"Also, don't get the bandages wet so you need to be careful in the shower hey."

"Uh huh."

"Enjoy your evening then Mr and Mrs Ebrahim."

"You too Dr. Krenak." Hoori smiled at him, trying hard to cover up for Mikaeel's appalling behaviour.

"He was looking at my crotch again..." He grumbled, emitting a hushed giggle from Hoori. "Fucking old man..."

Her head collapsed onto her lap as more and more giggles burst out from her mouth at his childish behaviour. "I am so not laughing..." She said. Looking up at his affronted face before she burst out into peals of laughter all over again.

He shook his head at her, even though tell-tale signs of a grin began to appear on his face. When she looked back up at him, her face was flushed from her laughter and her hair was all mused and messed up from being tossed around. "You look like you got some really, really good sex."

She looked at him, her eyes alight with mirth, "The thing is... If I'm here and you're stuck in that bed...."

"Shut up." He muttered, pissed that his teasing rebounded back on him.

"Just saying." Her voice held far too much amusement for his liking. "Did your brother actually come in, this time? I saw him heading into the elevator when I was downstairs."

"No." He almost sounded relieved as he said that.

"Oh." She was distracted by the bell as it signified the end of the visiting hours for the day before she looked back at him. "Maybe he'll visit at home."

"I fucking hope not." He mumbled watching as she stood up to gather her jacket and walking stick.

"I'll see you at home tomorrow. Is'haaq already told me he's fetching you so..." She walked over to the edge of his bed before she bent down to drop a gentle kiss to the side of his head.

"See you." He watched her walk away before grabbing onto her fingers, stopping her in her tracks.

"What?" She turned her face to look at him.

He eyed the empty space besides his bed pointedly. "No one's coming Hoori," He said, pulling her wrist slightly causing her to lean down till her face was barely a centimetre away from his.

"And if they do?" She asked, brushing her lips softly against his own.

"Not my fucking problem." He said, cupping the back of her neck in his palm and closing all distance between them.

"One more thing," Hoori said, running her thumb across his bottom lip before she pressed her lips quickly to his.

"What?"

She bent down till her lips were right at his ear, her breath causing shivers to run don his back "Are we wearing underwear when I help you to shower?" She tugged his earlobe gently between her teeth, winking at him before she left.

And when Dr. Krenak walked in, even he had to stifle his laughter at Mikaeel's ears that were burning a bright red, long after Hoori had walked away...

...

The next few weeks proved to be a challenge for them. Mikaeel insisted on driving himself to the hospital every day. There was no way he was waiting for anyone else to fetch him and he didn't really see the point in it at all. He was writing in a month's time and the longer he sat around and waited for shit to happen, the more likely it would be that he would fail. And even though Hoori had begun to walk for longer periods of time without her walker, it still made things just a little more difficult knowing both of them were still relatively restricted.

"What are you doing?" She cried out as she walked into the kitchen.

"I'm getting a fucking mug Hoori. I can get a damned mug by myself." He said without even bothering to turn around.

"You're so damned stubborn Mikaeel." She said through clenched teeth. "Your stitches opened up last week for this exact same reason. It's just extra aggravation for the both of us when you choose not to listen."

"It's not even that high. I won't tear my stitches but I'm not an invalid." He turned around regarding her stonily.

"I never said you were an invalid. You were stabbed and if you don't look after yourself then who the hell's going to do it."

"Just stop, okay. Nothing will happen to me." He brushed her off, annoyed at... everything in general.

"Fine, tear your stitches and bleed all over our floor again." She huffed before she turned around once more- it was no use arguing with him. He had a mind of his own and if he needed to learn things the hard way then so be it. He was trying her patience and she was sure she was trying his but what could she do if the jackass in the kitchen chose not to listen to anyone?

He was just being ridiculous and there was certainly no cure for that.

She walked over to their room, opening her top drawer to neaten and refold her clothes. There were many, many, many times in the past few weeks that she'd resorted to cleaning up to get her mind off her anger. It was no use screaming and fuming at him when he was being unreasonable so she had learnt to focus on other things instead.

She was in the middle of refolding a simple plain t-shirt before she felt his hands curl around her own, gently removing the t-shirt from her hands.

"I heard you calling me a jackass." He said, loosening her hair from her scrunchie before moving it to lie over her left shoulder.

"You heard right."

"Weren't you supposed to deny it?" She felt his lips at the base of her neck as he placed the lightest of kisses over her skin.

"I can't deny the truth." She smiled, leaning against his frame as he placed his arms around her stomach.

"I guess not." She knew that would be as close to an apology she would receive from him but it was enough for her.

"So what did Dr Krenak say?" She asked, resting the back of her head against the top of his shoulder.

"Senior or Junior?"

"Junior."

"The stitches are healing well."

"That's good..." He heard her sharp intake of breath as his cold hand slipped beneath her shirt. "So, they're healing very well?"

"Uhm hmm." He was distracted by the low cut neck of her shirt and the sight of her bright orange bra peeping up at him.

"Good." She said turning around in his arms before kissing him softly on his lips, enjoying the way his hand roamed the bare skin beneath her shirt as he deepened the kiss. "You sure you good enough for this?" She asked breathlessly, breaking off the kiss to look at him.

"We'll go really slow," He said, capturing her lips once again, "Okay?"

"Okay." She said though he barely even heard her as he began to unbutton her shirt, leading her slowly towards their bed...

...

He could feel her bare skin as she pressed against his side, absentmindedly tracing the tips of his large, square plaster. He would never admit it to her, but his side was killing him and perhaps he might have... interpreted Dr. Krenaks advice just a little too abstractly. "Why wouldn't Imtiyaaz visit?" Her voice sounded husky and breathless as she spoke near his ear.

"Why did you come back?" He asked, trying to change the topic.

"I'll tell you if you tell me." She said, looking at him as he moved to rest on his right side in order to face her. "You okay?" She asked, noticing the grimace on his face as the threads of the heavy blanket brushed against his plaster.

"I'm fine." He answered, wrapping his arm around her back in order to pull her just a little closer.

"So, are you going to tell me?"

"My brother's an asshole." He tried to deflect the question once again.

"I know he is." She was so closer to him that she could feel each and every breath he took as his chest expanded and contracted against her own.

"My mum tricked my dad into staying by getting pregnant with me."

"Oh." Of all the things she had expected him to say- this particular bit of information seemed the least surprising.

"Ya..." He tugged lightly on the strands of her hair, distracted in his thoughts. "She didn't actually want a kid and when I was born my dad just left her again."

Oh...

She lifted her head, kissing the corner of his lips as if it were the only gesture of comfort she knew.

"It was Imtiyaaz who told me about it..." He looked at her pensively, "And I broke his nose."

"You broke his nose?" She looked at him incredulously. "Seriously?"

"Ya. I heard his bone crack when I punched him."

She was sure she would never have an appropriate reply for such a statement. "Did it hurt?"

"What?"

"Breaking his nose? Did it hurt to do it?"

"Yeah," He looked down at his knuckles still partially coloured over his knuckles. "No one ever said that it would hurt like a bitch to punch someone."

"I'm sorry." She winced, looking down at the light green surface over his knuckles.

He only nodded, waiting for her to realise he knew she was stalling.

She bit her lip, hating the way he waited for her to continue "I found something that night while I was looking for my suitcase."

"What?"

She looked at him, her lips turning up as if she were teasing him before she sat up allowing the blanket to fall down her naked torso. "I was supposed to take my suitcase but it was packed on top so I took yours instead..."

The words hardly registered in his mind as he took in her exposed form...

"I found this." Her voice was soft, almost hesitant as she opened her drawer in her pedestal. She rummaged around beneath her gloves and socks before she removed a bound file with familiar letters over the cover.

Lilies for Lucy Callahan

Hooriya T.

"See the thing is, that website has very strict measures to prevent plagiarism."

"So?"

"So I'm not allowed to copy and paste into or out of the site..." She laid back down beside him, kissing him fervently as if to explain all the gratitude she felt for him in that moment. She kissed him, wrapping her arm around his shoulders before running her fingers through his thick, black hair. "I know you retyped the entire thing..."

He didn't allow her to move further than a millimetre away from him before kissing her once again- He was addicted to her. To her lips, her smell, her touch, her taste... He never in his life thought he would be addicted to someone but every single fucking time their lips touched, he wanted her to never fucking leave. He wanted to kiss her and kiss her and kiss her some fucking more until both were exhausted...

And even still, he wanted more.

"I was fixing up your pathetic spelling." He mumbled, his lips still against her own.

She reeled back, breaking his hold on her. "My spelling is not pathetic."

"It is..." He shrugged, sounding every bit as patronising as he intended. "You can't spell Embarrass."

"Yes I can." She reeled back, sounded offended at his insinuations. "And besides that- some of the scenes are a lot more..."

"A lot more?" He asked, grabbing her hand gently before pulling her towards him once again.

"Hotter than I remember."

He grinned at her words. "They were hot already." He said, thinking about the first time he came across one of her scenes. His eyes almost fell out of his fucking head at the words on his screen. He couldn't believe it... His wife-who didn't know jack about kissing- could write that.

"I saw the word nipple, Mikaeel." She sounded outraged at the idea.

"I think you saw things..." He heard her gasp as his hand slid up her arm, brushing against the side of her chest.

"I think I didn't..." She smiled, feeling his fingers brush against the beauty spots over her shoulders.

"I think you did." His hand slid down... lower...

Lower...

Lower...

Lower...

Lower till he brushed over her stomach.

"And I think you need to stop." She caught his hand in her own, holding it between their bodies.

"Why?"

"Because you couldn't really cover up the way your eyes pinched closed when I brushed against your plaster."

He only nodded before looking down at their joined hands, watching as she brushed her thumb slowly over his knuckle. "I want to..."

She looked up, tickling his wrist with her fingers as she waited for him to carry on.

"I want to do something else..." He smiled at the look on her face as if his words held a much different meaning, "With my life."

"What do you want to do?"

"I want to teach science."

"You want to teach science?" She looked at him oddly before the faintest of smiles passed over her lips. "You want to teach?" She asked once more, just to be sure.

"Yeah actually..."

Her smile grew wider and wider, before she leaned forward sucking his bottom lip into her mouth. "Oh gosh." She muttered to herself, kissing him once again.

"What?"

"Two weeks before she died, my sister told me to marry a teacher." She ran her hand through her hair, her whole body practically buzzing with excitement. "And when I married you, it felt as if I had done the furthest thing from what she wanted but... Oh God." She didn't even know why the idea made her happy but she just couldn't stop kissing him...

"I thought you said we should stop." He teased, pulling back enough to look at her. Her hair was messy and her lips were red and she was breathing heavily but he thought she looked like the sexiest thing he had ever seen just then. "You're fucking sexy- did you know that?"

Her eyes widened at his words and she almost looked shy as she looked at him. "Ya?"

"Ya." He smiled a smile just for her...

She looked at him.

Just looked.

She loved him.

God, she loved him.

She was sure she did.

"Will you study with me? I'm registering for a PGCE for next year and there's no fucking way I'm doing it by myself."

" No. I'm done studying Mikaeel." She said resolutely.

"I'll make you change your mind. You know that."

"I'd like to see you try." She sat up reaching for his shirt that was lying on the edge of their bed before lying down beside him again.

"I will..."

"If you say so." She turned towards him once again, covering her yawn with the back of her hand.

"Hoori?"

"Ya?"

"What did you tell Dr. Krenak exactly?"

"Uhm..." She smiled wryly at him, knowing he'd probably fall off the bed if he knew.

"Ya?"

"I told him they botched up your circumcision when you were a baby and that you only fixed it now." She winced shifting backwards out of his reach.

"You said what?" His eyes narrowed at the idea of it.

"Ya..."

"I don't know if I should laugh or kill you..." He mumbled, completely confounded.

"I think you should laugh."

"No it kills me to fucking laugh."

"I'm sorry." Hoori shifted closer to him once again, cupping his jaw in her hand before placing soft kisses over his lips.

"Is that your apology?"

"Is it working?"

"No."

"Oh..." Hoori moved closer till the buttons of her shirt rubbed against his skin. "What about now?"

"No."

Now?

And she kissed him.

And kissed him over and over and over again...

And one last time before finally, he forgave her...