Mikaeel's ears were burning. His sister's sex life- or lack thereof- was definitely something he did not need to know about. And the more he felt the need to kill himself slowly and painfully with his teaspoon, the more his mother insisted on discussing it.

He was almost certain that they had actually forgotten that he was there at all as they voraciously defended their opinions on the matter.

"I went back last time because you begged me to. Don't make me go back again."

"You're just not trying hard enough Ilhaam." His mother scolded her as if she were ten all over again as Ilhaam cried out in protest at the blunt accusation.

"What do you mean I'm not trying hard enough? What more do you want me to do?"

"A heluva lot more than you're doing now. It's not as if he's a fucking druggie. Just deal with it!"

"You want me to deal with the fact that my husband has spent thousands on porn and that he hasn't had sex with me in almost 6 months because I'm just not like them?" She collapsed back into her seat. "Shit, mum. How much more do you want me to deal with?"

He knew she was tired- exhausted really. He could make out the deep bags beneath her eyes and the little lines around her mouth as she pinched her eyes closed. Her mother was taking it out of her and she was tired of fighting. She was tired of fighting with her husband and her children and her mother and she was just so, so over fighting with herself and trying to convince herself that it wasn't her fault.

"You're taking the easy way out, you know." Sadiyah shook her head, unable to believe she actually had to deal with this bullshit all over again.

"Easy? What part of this is easy?" She laughed, but she couldn't possibly find anything funny about it. "I am dying knowing that Zahra and Burhaan couldn't come with me because they have school. You think it's going to be easy telling Imaad that he won't be seeing his daddy everyday and that he can't even sleep in Mikaeel's room when he misses him anymore. He can't sleep without Shaheen there and I just took that away from him." Ilhaam was so close to tears that she was sure one more outburst from her mother would have her breaking down into a sobbing mess. "And I miss Shaheen so, so much Mum. This isn't easy for me but I have to do it."

"Then why the hell are you doing it?"

"Because I hate myself!" She finally exploded. "I hate myself so much every day. I hate looking in the mirror knowing he doesn't think I'm beautiful anymore. But how can I be?" She wiped her nose with the back of her hand- She couldn't give a shit about propriety just then. "I have 3 children. I just... I physically can never look like those women."

"What the hell, Ilhaam," Sadiyah looked outraged at her daughter's confession. "You left him because he doesn't think you're pretty anymore. Don't be fucking shallow!"

Mikaeel was sure Ilhaam's jaw would snap right off her face with the way it dropped. "Shallow? Did you just call me shallow?"

"What the fuck would you call it then?"

"I'm not like you!" Ilhaam stood up, slamming her palms on the table as she did so. "I can't give up 30 fucking years of my life on a man who will never love me enough because I want his fucking money!"

Fuck... She just had to go there.

Mikaeel was only grateful that Hoori had volunteered (a little too readily) to watch over Imaad as he watched his movies. Shit was hitting the fan and he just had to be right in the middle of it all.

"You ungrateful little bitch." Sadiyah hissed.

"Stop it mum. He's been fucking that woman again hasn't he? But you're just too busy living in fucking denial and pushing off all your bullshit onto us."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't think we never figured it out. You pushed us and you pushed us and you pushed us till we broke all because you wanted us to be perfect in front of everyone else to cover up your fucked up marriage."

"You don't know why I've done half the things I have." Saadiya seethed.

"Why do you think any of us are the way we are? We are who you made us, mum." She had to support her weight against the table as she looked at her mother. "We're screwed and it's too late to change anything."

"He hasn't been seeing her again."

Mikaeel almost felt sorry for his mother just then as her eyes glossed over with tears at the thought of her husband seeking pleasure in the arms of another woman.

"He has Mum and you and I both know it." She looked at her mother sadly, knowing how hard it was to accept the fact that her husband just didn't think she was good enough. "You just need to accept it and move on and stop trying to use us to project your perfection onto everyone else."

She didn't know how to even greet Saadiya as she silently slipped out of the room. How could she possibly say anything to her mother after the words that had been flung at each other?

"He hasn't been seeing anyone." Saadiya told Mikaeel once again, though he was sure she was trying to convince herself more than she was trying to convince him.

"Sure thing Mum." He said softly before he stood up and walked out as well. He was tired of all the drama and the bullshit. His mother should have rather called Imtiyaaz. He was definitely better than Mikaeel at handling all of these types of issues.

As if he really needed to know that Shaheen was a minute man.

That was scarring information that he could have lived his entire life happily not knowing anything about.

"Couldn't you have even offered to do anything?"

And he was so fucking close to his room... dammit.

Mikaeel turned around slowly, trying to keep his voice low, knowing just how much their hallways echoed. "What could I have done?"

"Something. Can't you do anything?" Saadiya didn't even know why it was that she was upset with Mikaeel. "Don't you even feel anything about it?"

"Sure I do." Mikaeel explained, "I'm pissed that she thinks she's ugly and that he made her think all that shit but what can I do about it?"

"Something Mikaeel!" She rubbed her hand tiredly through her greying hair. "For God's sake! Do something useful for once!"

"What Mum?" His voice echoed throughout the hallway. "Do you want me to threaten him? Should I hit him? What can I do?"

"Don't... Just."

"I'm not a hypocrite." He said, walking closer to her. "I'm not exactly an advocate for fidelity that I can sprout a whole bunch of bullshit onto him for watching porn."

"Excuse me?" She knew he was messing around with other girls but to have him openly admit it- It sickened her.

"What do you think I was doing at Tanner House Mum?" He asked, daring her to contradict him.

"Fucking embarrassment..." She muttered bitterly before she turned around and walked away.

He shook his head at her retreating back- She was so far in denial that it actually hurt to watch the whole mess play out. How many times had they begged their parents to get a divorce and be over with instead of thrusting them all headlong into this poisonous vat of nothingness that seemed to have just about sucked the life out of them?

He walked into his room quietly, praying that Hoori was still asleep but as she looked at him from her place against the headboard, he knew she had heard the entire conversation...

...

There was an awkward tension that had settled over the two of them as he got into bed. Hoori already knew about the other girls and the clubbing and he had never actually denied it but they had simply forgotten that it had happened over the past few months. She forgot that he would be out almost every weekend and he had forgotten that he couldn't wait to leave the house as soon as Ihsaan phoned him.

She wasn't even looking at him anymore. She was lying on her back, looking up at the ceilig, running her hand through Imaad's hair as he snuggled into her side. He was already fast asleep and his warm little breaths washed over her shoulder causing her to feel just a little too hot under the blankets.

Mikaeel hadn't said a word. He wasn't about to defend himself nor was he about to deny the fact that he had just said what he did. It happened. They couldn't ignore it and they couldn't change it. It happened and they just had to deal with it.

"Is it true?" She whispered feeling stifled by the atmosphere in the room.

"Is what true?"

"The thing about your dad." She hadn't meant to listen to their conversation but the dining room was so close to his room that it felt as if Ilhaam was practically screaming right in her ear.

"Ya it's true."

"Oh." She felt sorry for Saadiya all over again. When Mikaeel messed around with all those girls and she found the lipstick stains or smelt the perfume all over him, she felt angry and humiliated but it was never as if she was heartbroken because of it. It was never as if she was in love with him and he broke her heart but with her mother-in-law...

She was sure her heart was shattered. How can you live with someone for 30 years and not be in love with them? Nazeer must have broken her heart over and over again and she was sure she actually pitied the woman when she really thought about it.

"He was in love with someone else before he met my mother." She was surprised to hear his explanation. She didn't think he would actually want to talk about it but once he started he didn't really want to stop until it was all out.

"For some reason she married someone else and a few months later my dad met my mum and they got married." He could feel her eyes on him as he stared up into the darkness but he didn't bother turning to look at her. "A few year or so after Ilhaam was born was when he had the first affair."

"So it's only ever been an affair with one woman?"

"Ya. He tries to forget her and eventually he ends up leaving her again and coming back to Mum but he always goes back. The longest he's ever been away from her was for about 5 years after I was born."

"Oh..." What could she say to that? There were no words to actually describe what it was she was feeling because she didn't know what to feel. She liked her father-in-law. He was always sweet and he genuinely liked her but to hear that he's been seeing another woman for years sort of put him in a whole new light in her eyes.

"You know what's really fucked up?"

"No." What could be worse than that?

"I was with her fucking children in varsity. Her daughter was in all my classes." He hadn't even realised that he was biting onto his knuckle as he thought about it. It was even more fucked up considering they both knew their parents were seeing each other but he didn't even know her name. He had never once spoken to her or smiled at her or even acknowledged that girl's existence but they both knew that the other was in the same class.

"Is that why your mum is so..." How was she supposed to word it?

"Fucked in the head?"

Well that's one way of putting it. 

"We begged them to get divorced you know. It would have been easier for every one if they just got divorced." He shook his head, considering just how truly messed up his family really was. It should have never been easy seeing their parents going through a divorce but he had actually prayed for it. He had prayed for their selfish stupidity to end but his parents had never listened. His dad couldn't give up either women and his mum couldn't give up the money and they couldn't do anything except watch their parents spiral out of control.

"How's Ilhaam doing?"

"She'll be okay. It's not the first time she left him."

"No?"

He shook his head, forgetting that it was too dark for Hoori to see. "She left him for a few months before we got married."

She knew there was a reason Mikaeel was so used to Imaad sleeping in his bed.

She almost giggled at the idea of it all.

And he could deny it all he wanted to but she knew he only pretended to be annoyed with the little thing. He didn't mind it at all.

It was definitely an odd night. Neither could actually believe what had almost happened only a few short hours ago nor what had just transpired. Mikaeel could scarcely believe he was 5 seconds away from ripping off all of Hoori's clothes and he definitely could not believe that his mother had to interrupt them. It was a fucking nightmare having to listen to her go on about Ilhaam when all he could think about was the fact that he had only 2 centimetres to go before Hoori's entire zip would have been open and that she wasn't actually wearing a bra...

"Hoori." He called quietly, speaking over Imaad's head. He didn't even know how the quarter pint knew he was in bed but as soon as Mikaeel lifted the covers, Imaad had begun to slowly move closer and closer towards him till finally he was able to wrap his tiny arm around Mikaeel's stomach and hold onto him as if he were a giant pillow.

"Hmm?" She was still awake.

"I haven't been to Tanner House since my birthday."

He didn't know why he felt the need to clarify it but he couldn't sleep knowing she might have thought otherwise. He felt her shifting just a little before he turned to look at her. He could feel her warmth of her body against his legs as she moved just a little closer to him before she kissed him softly on his cheek.

She moved back, curling herself onto her side before she closed her eyes, unaware of the fact that she was smiling as she fell slowly off to sleep and slipped gently into her dreams...

A/N It's been a while hey? I'm so sorry! Also, if anyone is confused about Shaheen and Ilhaam- You could check out chapter 8.

I'm so sorry for the terribly short chapter!