Chapter Twenty Nine
TW: Past Emotional Abuse
The small family stayed wrapped in each other's arms for hours. Logan and Patton whispered comforting words in Remus' ears, attempting to ease the boy's fears. Remus just closed his eyes and attempted to focus on the voices of his parents rather than the voices tormenting him in his mind.
Soon, the room fell deathly quiet. Remus leaned back and noticed that both men had fallen asleep. He looked up at the clock on the wall and realized that it was far later than he had realized. He stared at his parents for a moment longer, his guilt festering in his mind. Why can't you ever do anything right? You keep hurting them. You hurt everyone in your life. You're bad. When the thoughts were screaming too loudly, Remus crawled off of the couch and made his way up to his room quickly. His breathing was slightly labored as his panic raised, but he couldn't bare to look at his parents any longer. Remus sat on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands as he willed himself to calm down. When the thoughts refused to cease, Remus looked up and locked his eyes on his phone.
Dee makes everything better.
He needed Dee so badly right now. You're just going to hurt him too. Remus froze in his spot. That's the last thing he wanted to do. But as the minutes passed, he realized that he needed his boyfriend right this minute. He picked up his phone with shaking hands and clicked on Dee's contact, praying that the boy would pick up. After a few rings, Remus heard a soft voice on the other side of the phone. "Hey, Re." Remus let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. "H-hi Dee," he stuttered out. "What's wrong, baby? Are you okay?" Dee asked, his voice laced with concern. Remus chuckled bitterly. "N-no. It's so bad. I'm so bad," Remus whimpered. "You're not bad, Remus. What happened?" Remus willed himself not to cry. "The dinner was awful." He heard Dee let out a sad sigh. "I'm so sorry. Do you want to talk about what happened?" "N-no," Remus whispered. "That's perfectly okay. Just know that you are not a bad person, Re. Not at all," Dee reassured. "B-but-" Remus started. "No, Remus. You're an amazing person. You're so sweet and kind all the time. You're seriously one of the most caring people I've ever met. Whatever happened tonight, it's not your fault. You aren't bad at all. I promise you," Dee said in the softest voice Remus had ever heard him use. "Thank you," Remus whispered. "It's just the truth, baby." Remus smiled at the pet name. "How are you?" Remus asked after a moment of silence. "I'm actually doing pretty well. I-" Dee's voice was cut off by a frantic knock on Remus' door. Remus swallowed thickly. "I'm sorry, I have to go," Remus rushed out. "It's alright, Re. I'll talk to you later," Dee assured before ending the call. Remus stood up shakily before pulling open his door, revealing a slightly shaken Patton. The man immediately let out a sigh of relief before notice his son's slightly shaking form. "Oh gosh, I'm sorry if I scared you bud. It's just that I woke up and you were gone and-" Remus cut him off. "It's okay, Dad. I didn't mean to worry you. I was just talking to Dee." Patton grinned lightly at the mention of his son's boyfriend. "What were you two talking about?" Patton asked with a slightly teasing tone. Remus' expression dropped as he recalled what had prompted the call. Patton furrowed his eyebrows at his son's expression, guilt overcoming him. "It was about tonight, wasn't it?" Patton asked in an incredibly soft voice. Remus nodded, immediately wishing he hadn't when Patton's face fell. "I'm really sorry, Re," Patton said softly. "Please don't apologize," Remus responded. "But it's my fault that they were here. God, I'm so naive," Patton bitterly chuckled. "You weren't naive. You were hopeful. There's a difference." Patton looked at his son with wide, tearful eyes. Remus wordlessly grabbed Patton's hand and pulled him to sit on the bed. Patton looked at Remus with an unreadable expression. "Have they always been that mean?" Remus barely whispered. Patton couldn't help the tear that rolled down his cheek. "Y-yeah. They have," Patton choked out. Remus' jaw tightened as he thought about Patton being berated by those two awful people. Patton took notice of the boy's angered expression. "It's okay though. I'm much better off now," Patton tried to sound convincing. "They hurt you. That's not okay," Remus responded lowly. "I know it's not," Patton whispered. "I just don't get it," Remus admitted. "Get what, buddy?" Patton asked. "How they could hurt someone as nice as you," Remus said, looking in his dad's eyes. Patton took in a sharp breath, willing himself not to cry. "I feel the same way about you and your parents," Patton said softly. "Papa told me that sometimes people hurt others just to feel better about themselves. I think that's true."
Patton nodded slowly. "I do too," Patton whispered. "Do you want to talk about it?" Remus asked. Patton shook his head and wiped his eyes quickly. "No, enough about me. You don't have to worry about me," Patton said quickly, flashing an obviously fake smile. "It's okay to be upset. You listen to me every time I cry or have to vent about something. I'll listen if you need to too," Remus said in a comforting voice. Patton laughed lightly. "You sound so mature. Thank you, Re." Remus smiled sadly at the man. "It's no problem. I'll always listen when you need to talk to somebody."
Patton nodded slowly as a stray tear fell down his cheek. "I just wanted them to be proud of me. My whole life Ive done everything I could to get their attention. But they would only point out everything that I did wrong. Told me that I was a disappointment of a child. I...I just wanted them to love me. I loved them so much and all I wanted was for them to just care about me even a little bit," Patton admitted tearfully. Remus just reached out and rubbed his dad's back lightly, silently comforting him. "When they told me that they wanted to meet you, I was so excited. I thought that if they saw how wonderful of a son I had that they would finally be proud of me. I thought that they'd love you enough to finally love me. I never thought that they'd..." Patton trailed off as his throat tightened. "It's not your fault," Remus whispered. "And they're so mean to Logan! God, I should've stood up for him..." Patton said, his voice laced with guilt. "It's okay, Dad. I think I did a pretty good job of protecting Papa," Remus grinned as he remembered the couple's shocked expressions when he had demanded that they apologize. Patton chuckled. "Yes, you did. Thank you for protecting him." Remus wrapped his arms around the man. "I'll always protect both of you," the boy whispered. Patton looked down at him with tearful eyes.
"I'll protect you too, Remus. With everything I have," Patton said as he returned the boy's embrace.
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