The first reaction I got from Max was of complete speechlessness. He just stared at me for a long time, eyeing me up and down and then proceeded to narrow his eyes. I  acted oblivious to his presence, hoping he won't sense anything suspicious and instead just stared straight at his eyes. He raised a brow. And when his gaze landed on the diary, he immediately began yelling.

"What is wrong with you?" he asks again as he rapidly flipped through the pages. I don't say anything and instead find some interest in the floor.

"You do realize that it is Eva's, right?" He runs a hand through his hair before slamming the diary on the table.

"It's the hundreth time you told me that," I mumble, shift awkwardly left and right.  Max becomes more furious and walks around the room, placing his hands tightly on his head.

"I should've kept it hidden." I hear him chant to himself over and over again. I snorted loud enough for him to hear. For some reason, that confrontation with Avi has given me more energy and courage to talk back.

"Yes, you should have. Why? Because your little sister will find out about your crushy-crush," I retort, folding my arms over my chest. He immediately stops walking and instead stands still. He mimica my action and folds his arms in an intimidating manner.

"For the record, she is not my crush. And second, you have no rights to interfere," he says in an annoyed tone. I roll my eyes to conceal how hurting his words are.

You have no rights to interfere.

Hasn't he interfered in my business? What is so wrong when I do the same? A million questions tingle the tip of my tongue but I keep my composure calm.

"Sure," I say, not looking at him.

"How much did you read?" he immediately asks, lowering his voice a bit. It's my turn to raise a brow at him.

"And why should I tell you that?"

"Eline. Stop. Just answer my question." He pinches the bridge of his nose. I chew the inside of my cheek, internally debating whether to tell him or not. I wanted to like that I read the entire thing and just see his reaction. But something tells me to just drop that idea.

"Just the first page," I admit. He blinks twice at me, making sure I am not lying.

"Are you sure?" he asks again to my annoyance.

"I told you! And also why do you even have her diary? Did you steal it or something?" I ask, stepping a foot forward.

I—she—nevermind. I am not telling you that," he says.

"Obviously you won't tell me that. No one even tells me anything these days. But when I do the same, it's a sin. Thats just trash," I whisper the last part, immediately recollecting to what had happened some days ago in the canteen.

Max immediately meets my eyes and looks back just as sudden. When he realizes that I won't stop glaring at him, he speaks.

"Trust me. You don't want to know."

My curiousity gets piqued at that sentence. I look back at him with a newfound courage. All the emotions piling up inside my head burst out at once. I know that if I don't speak right now, I will never get the chance to. It's once in a blue moon that I speak to Max. I don't want to miss this chance.

"Trust me. I want to know."

It is his turn to chuckle humorlessly. He walks towards me, easily towering my short figure and looks down to meet my eyes.

"You want to know now of all days? You want to now hear about your so-called-brother?"

I take another step forward, daring him with my glare.

"What is so special about that Eva Mary? I am sorry if I don't understand what you see in her. Cause all I see is blankness," I hiss. Something deep inside tells me that I shouldn't be speaking so ill of someone that I barely know. But all that is inside of me is anger and that anger is now my engine. I let it power me and it happily does.

He narrows his eyes and speaks back.

"Open your eyes. You'll see a lot more."

He smirks, finally gaining the reaction he wanted to. I stare at him, a bit dumfounded and he mock salutes me before literally shoving me off the bedroom. I stumble a little but the impact and immediately feel the loud slam of the door behind me.

I sigh, looking back at the closed door.

Eline, you had one chance.

And I used it wisely.

No you didn't. You could've mended your relationship. Instead, you, being the stupid little kid you are decided to throw more oil into the fire.

I bite my lip as I walk subconsciously towards the hall. I should've spoken to him about how I really feel. I should've told him that I stood up for myself to Avi for the first time. I should've told him that I love him more than he ever could. I should've told it all.

But I wasn't the one that left him. It wasn't I who left my sibling alone in the darkness. It was him. I still feel the wound fresh in my heart ignite as I rewind to the past.

We just shifted to the current house of ours and we were still unpacking our items. I had tried to ignore the flashing image of Chester gripping me by the collar. I could still feel his grief-stricken face as he asked me that one question I never answered.

"Why?"

Even if it was a week ago, I couldn't digest the fact that I let him down. He never let me down. He was by my side. But I did. And I couldn't even answer him properly. The guilt had swallowed me and I ran away like a coward. I knew that if I stayed there any longer, my whole school life would be scarred by his presence. His presence had been so familiar and warming to me. But then, it was the last thing I wanted. Because it reminded me of something I tried to forget.

I seeked comfort. So I ran to the other most important person in my life. Max. Max was shocked at first by my strange affection. It wasn't that I wasn't affectionate towards him. I just never hugged him that much or cried to him.

He asked me what had happened but I refused to share anything. But he shared a shoulder for me to lay my head on. He shared his jokes with me to lighten up my mood. He was everything I could ask for.

The perfect family.

But then the time came where he no longer appreciated my presence. Even if he didn't tell it directly, I understood by his body language. He stopped ruffling my hair everytime I embraced my tiny hands around his body. He then stopped coming to my room and talking with me like he used to. And then he slowly demanded for a hair dye and a key that I no longer have the access to. He locked it eveytime I tried to enter. I knocked at his unwelcoming door but he would swiftly lie that he was dressing up.

Instead, he began bringing a tall brunette girl instead. He chatted with her loudly in the hall, went outside for some days and introduced me quickly to her as though I was the plague.

He got accepted into Arts but instead had to choose engineering. He faked a smile but I could see right through it. And all I did was watch silently from my room as he used to cry every night to sleep.

He then began drinking but yet to some limit and later hung out so late at night. He began throwing things around and breaking glass harshly. He got angry over silly issues.

He then refused to talk to me.

I sit down on the couch, quickly changing channels to find a programme to watch. My mind is overburstinf with memories and I try to get distracted but I fail miserably.

Yes, he does fight and argue. But he never spoke to me like he used to. And that's when I knew that my brother was gone.