I stared out the hazy window, eyes following the buildings in town as they rushed by in a flash, camouflaging into the night.

My fingers continued to furl and unfurl around my phone, ready to call anyone in case of emergency. The fact I'd agreed to head back to Damon's apartment scared the living hell out of me, and I was temped to jump into the driver's seat and head back home as soon as he climbed out of the car. But I couldn't. I was intrigued by Damon's intent to tell me a bit about his past and it had taken over my logic at some point along the way.

Once Damon slowed the car outside the old apartment building, he kept his fingers curled around the steering wheel. "Maybe this is a bad idea."

"Maybe it is." I agreed.

He threw a quick look my way, as if he were expecting a different answer out of me.

"I get the feeling I'm going to end up in some sort of a near death experience tonight." he sighed, bowing his head.

I stared in silence as he rested his forehead against the wheel, eyes squeezed shut. When he came to the conclusion I wasn't going to respond, he lifted his head up and nodded.

"Let's go inside." he muttered.

I walked around the car and plucked my keys from his hand, setting them in my purse as I followed him into the building. He helped me over the broken stairs and kept a grip on my wrist all the way up. I could hear quiet chatter at the end of the hall, but Damon appeared to be so deep in his own thoughts he wasn't in the present anymore.

It was nice to know if I had to make an escape there were other people still in the building.

"Just sit wherever." he said quietly. I closed the door gently behind me and sat at the edge of the old leather couch. Everything still appeared the same as it had been the last time I was here.

He crossed the room to the kitchen and dug through the fridge.

"I wonder how Ryder feels about throwing you a party and you ditching it."

My comment earned a quiet grunt in response out of Damon. He walked back into the living room with a couple beer bottles in his hands. Sitting beside me, he offered one of the bottles. I waved it off, scratching at my arm nervously.

"Suit yourself." he grumbled, setting the extra bottle on the old table.

"Damon, why are we here?" I asked.

He ran his index finger along the condensation on the surface of the bottle. "It seems like this is the only place you don't seem to almost get me killed."

"That's very observant." I smirked. "Do you want a gold star?"

He laughed. "I'd fucking love one, thank you very much."

We stayed quiet for a few minutes before he turned his full attention back to me. "I know you're dying to ask me something, go ahead."

"Why are you spending your birthday alone?" I whispered.

"Alone?" he gestured toward me with the neck of the bottle, "You're here, sweetheart."

I frowned. "You know what I mean, Damon."

"My parents handed me a hundred grand and told me to stay away." his words were so nonchalant that it took me a minute to process them.

"They kicked you out?" I gaped.

He shifted, kicking his feet on to the couch beside me. "Yes and no. I ran away a lot. It got to a point where my rebellious stage was starting to damper their reputation, so they decided they'd kick the problem child out-of the house and their lives"

I knew better than to give him sympathetic or pitiful looks, it would only make things worse.

There wasn't a lot to say, I didn't want to push or pry and I sure as hell didn't want him to try and take a dig at my personal life. All I could really do was nod and wait for him to continue.

"It really isn't that big of a deal." he shrugged when I didn't say anything. "My dad was a dick anyway."

I bowed my head a fraction, hoping to shield my sympathy from him.

"Who were you not able to save?" I asked after a couple minutes of total silence.

His face twisted into a grimace. "I don't want to talk about it. Just forget I mentioned it."

My lips parted in an attempt to answer, but I decided against it a few seconds later and slammed it shut. There was a tense silence hanging between us as Damon sipped at his beer, eyes on me the entire time.

"You don't want to reveal any of your little secrets?" he taunted.

I shifted. "You know them all, what's the point?"

"Do you really believe you're a monster?" Damon's questioned.

I leaned back into the arm of the couch, my fingers tightening around the loose charm bracelet on my left wrist.

"Look, Damon. You invaded my privacy and life when you read that diary. Every word in there is the truth and nothing but. You may not believe it, but I am." I kept my eyes on the wall over his shoulder.

"I know, McKenzie. But what about what happened was your fault?" he pushed at the topic once more.

I shrugged, laughing coldly. "I don't know, maybe the fact that I was the cause of the fire in the first place? Or that Brady went back in to get me instead of saving himself. How much time do you have, Fox? Because I could give you a whole list of reasons why it was all my fault."

"You can't beat yourself up over things you can't change."

I blinked to keep tears from escaping my eyes. "Please stop pretending like you know how I feel."

He leaned forward, hand falling against my bare leg. I shook it off and pushed further away from him as he averted his eyes. "I do know how you feel."

"Why me, Damon? Why do you have to have some weird obsession with me of all people?" I snapped. "I just wanted to be able to live my life without having to remember the accident, without worrying about someone stalking me. I didn't want you of all people to follow me around."

In foresight, it probably wasn't a good idea to say such a mean thing to someone that was drinking.

"Oh, baby, listen to you." he laughed. "You think you're so different from me, from the rest of the world. You're not. We all have the same issues you do in one way or another."

"I listened to my brother scream as he was burned alive and you sit here and tell me I'm just like everyone else?" I shook my head, mouth agape as I rose and headed for the door. "You're an ass, Damon."

"Poor little McKenzie Thomas." he snickered. I whirled around, raising my hand as I readied myself to slap him.

"At least I can face myself without putting up some pathetic facade." I said through gritted teeth.

He stood so our faces were only inches apart. "Yeah? Because you aren't a good girl, sweetheart. All those dirty little things you wrote in your diary and you walk around like some naive little school girl."

"You don't know anything about me."

"I know that if you were any sort of good girl, you wouldn't have ditched detention that day for that piece of shit." he growled.

I snorted. "I'm sorry it wasn't you, Fox. I'm sorry I don't bow down to your every need like every other girl in our school."

A few strands of his mess of brown hair had fallen against his forehead at some point during my sarcastic comment.

"I'm sorry you're so desperate to be accepted you were going to let some creep rape you." he snarled.

I slapped him as hard as I could. He recoiled back a few steps and stared at me in astonishment. "You just wish it was you."

A genuine smirk stretched across my face upon hearing my words.

"You better watch your mouth, Thomas." he threatened.

"Or?"

I had lifted my head just in time to feel his lips graze mine. I tried to force back the fluttering in the pit of my stomach and chest, my hands pressing against his chest.

No words would leave my mouth.

"I'd sleep with you sure, and I bet it'd be pretty enjoyable." he breathed, warm breath against my cheek. "But I'd never rape a woman. I'd never contemplate it. Despite what you might think, I'm not that way."

I saw it in his eyes then. I saw the deep blues begin to pulsate, his lips tremble a little for a half a second. I saw his guard drop for a moment, but it was enough to allow me in.

I understood then that Damon hadn't followed Alec and I to the party for me, it had been for him. His reasons behind it were still beyond me.

"You're not a monster, McKenzie." he relaxed, eyes fluttering shut. "I'm not either."

"You're wrong." I touched his cheek softly. "We can keep denying it, pretending it isn't true, but that doesn't make it right. I am a monster, you believe you are too, Damon. We can keep running, but what are we really be running from?"

***AN****

*Unedited*

I hope you guys enjoyed! Sorry for the late update!

What do you think about Damon? What do you think he's hiding? 

Let me know what you guys think/thought!

~ChasingMadness24