I stepped back, the instinct to run taking over the logic to stay as my legs readied themselves to spring.

As if he sensed the direction of my thoughts, he moved, appearing in front of me in an instant, his hands grasping my head to keep me still. It was a firm grip that reminded me that he had the power to crush my skull with the barest exertion of effort.

He forced my eyes to his and tutted. "No, I can't begin to tell you how stupid it would be to run away from me and I never took you to be stupid."

I sucked in a breath - to scream? To plead? I had no idea but I wasn't given the chance to do either as he hushed me.

"Ah, ah, ah. I have no interest in whatever speech you had prepared," he said with a broad grin. "I'm beside myself, little one. I had no idea you were capable of this kind of treachery."

I tried to shake my head. To explain that it was the last thing from treachery. That it was some mistake that was going to correct itself any moment now.

His thumb pressed into my cheek, his nail drawing a fine line below my eye. I froze, too terrified to react. 

He closed his eyes, breathing in. Then he furrowed his brows, cocked his head and looked into my own with eyes that glowed a bright scarlet. "It's changed," he mumbled, as if he were talking to himself. "Different, sweeter." He inhaled deeply. "Better."

Key still in hand, I pressed it against one of the hands that held my head. He hissed, releasing me. The relief was brief as he grabbed my wrist and turned it up, pressing into it. My fingers spread open, revealing the key.

"Do you think I'm allowed to do anything to you as one of the Elder Tree's chosen ones?" he scoffed, a glimmer of amusement tingeing his voice. He cupped my cheek tenderly. "Rejoice, Little Ashling," he said, smiling so sincerely that I almost believed it. Except the only time he'd ever shown a moment's sincerity was during moments of extreme conflict. "I offer my most heartfelt congratulations-"

"I don't want your congratulations," I asserted, anger slowly replacing my fear. I wrenched my hand free and threw the key to the side. "Is this another game?" I asked hysterically. "Do our lives really mean no more to the Fae than the dirt at your feet?"

"It's sand at my feet," he corrected.

My lips trembled and for the first time in my life, I gave into the thoughts of impulsive violence that I'd never acted on before.

I punched him.

I winced, immediately drawing my hand close to my chest, cradling my knuckles.

His head barely moved, the only indication of being punched was the stunned look of surprise. Despite the pain that had started to pulse from my knuckles, I relished the candid expression. It was a welcome change from his usual look of smiles and schemes.

He chuckled, surprise morphing into delight. "The standard of living for your kind is not new knowledge." He brushed his finger against his cheek. "Are you outraged because you are now subject to more than your daily dose of violence?"

It was my turn to laugh, bitter though it was. "I'm outraged because I deserve more than this."

His smile dropped, a keen and pointed stare taking its place. "And who decides that? You?" he asked, arching a brow.

"Why not?" I snapped.

"Because you don't have the power to make those decisions," he wrapped a hand around my throat, lifting me slightly. I grabbed his arm, scratching, digging my nails into his skin but he didn't so much as flinch. "I even decide how much air you deserve and you have the nerve to be outraged?" he asked. I opened my mouth to gasp but nothing would make it past my throat. My vision started to blur, my tears stinging the cut on my cheek. He brought my face close to his. "If you want your autonomy, then you need to have the power to take it."

He released me and I fell, coughing and wheezing, taking in the cool night air greedily. He crouched, resting his chin on his thumb, his lips kissing the knuckle of his forefinger as he studied me.

"You should be thankful that a mere human received the blessing of the Elder Tree," he said, his eyes flashing eerily in the shadows of the dancing flames. "You are still lesser than the weakest Fae but you are now far more than the strongest human."

I scowled. "Why me?"

"I would never dare to presume the will of the Elder Tree," he stated. "But if it ever deigns to give you an answer, I'd appreciate it if you enlighten me."

There was no hint of amusement in his expression.

~

Rose was silent as she wrapped my hand. She said it wasn't broken like the other one. She said it almost accusingly.

"I punched him," I said into the stillness of the library. We were the only ones awake.

She paused. "Without consequence?"

I grimaced. "Don't worry. There's plenty of consequences coming my way in the future." She resumed bandaging my knuckles. I studied the deliberate gentleness, the careful technique. "You've done this before."

She nodded, slowing her pace. "My son," she said, tucking the end of the wrap. "He was a stubborn mule, each day a constant battle with his peers."

"What a rascal," I commented.

"Not without reason," she replied. "His father had entered a bargain with a Fae and it was well known in our area. He fought for his father's honor," she held my hand for a moment, lost in a memory. "He fought for mine."

"I'm sorry," I said, knowing full well that an apology was as good as nothing but unable to say anything else.

She blinked, pulling her hand away sharply. "He's dead," she said succinctly. "It doesn't matter now. I'd lost my only reason for living. I'm simply waiting for the day that I cease to exist."

"Is that why you entered a bargain with the Master?" I asked.

"Why do you do that?" she asked suddenly and I was taken aback.

"Do what?"

"Why do you refer to him as the Master? You call him by his name, don't you? You said you had no choice?"

I wasn't sure how to respond. It had been one of his earliest commands - a poor attempt at conversation, though any interaction we had was a poor attempt at conversation. I was too confused, too angry, too frightened. He was simply... himself.

"He's always been the Master to me," I started slowly. "We simply don't have the kind of relationship for me to be calling him by his name other than when he commands it." I thought about our conversation at the firepit. The feeling of suffocation as he told me that I had to earn the privilege to simply breathe. "Calling him by his name feels..."

"Intimate?" she interjected curiously.

I shook my head. "Human. As if we are equals of some kind."

Rose was silent for a moment. "I asked him to take away my pain."

I turned to face her, speechless. I didn't expect her to tell me the terms of her arrangement.

She stared at a spot in the distance, her eyes unseeing. "But he wanted more."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't feel pain - on that, he has fulfilled his side of the bargain - but I don't feel anything. 'The condition for taking one was to take it all,' he said." She turned to face me. "Sometimes I wonder if it was a good thing, being left so empty."

I felt a chill as she gave me a small smile - devoid of any real emotion as I could now clearly see. "I'm sorry that you were hurting so much but," I hesitated. "I could never live my life like that."

"You have time yet," she said, nodding.

I frowned, confused. "Time for what?"

"For heartache."

I felt a pang of trepidation. It had felt like I was just given an ominous prophecy. I thanked her for her help and left, pondering her words. I tried to imagine what it was like to have something that you loved taken away - your sole reason for living. I failed. I never had anything I held dear to my heart and my memories before I met the Master were vague at best.

I decided it must be a terrible thing - to give up the feeling of being alive for the numbness of being dead.