"Wait, you guys were not using protection?" Sofi screamed.

She finally told her friend about the pregnancy scare and how it was still haunting her. She had to share her issues with someone she was still losing sleep over the whole thing. In addition, she still could not get intimate with Gbenga and he was coming back to town in less than two weeks.

"We were using in the beginning but......."

"Come how long have u people been doing it?" Sofi gasps as she realized the answer to the question is definitely that night they met in the club. "Never mind" Sofi laughed.

"Babe It's not funny, it was scary" Toyin frowned.

"But out of curiosity what would you have done?" Sofi asked

"I don't know. He is not even ready for anything like that" She bit her lip.

"I think we should get some form of birth control" Sofi shook her head.

"We? You don't need it" Toyin eyed her friend. "Are you seeing someone?"

Sofi looked guilty as hell.

"Madam, spill now" Toyin said.

(This whole paragraph has been redacted and moved to Sofia the first)

When Gbenga returned to Lagos he said he wanted to purchase a home in Lekki and they went together to look at some houses with an estate agent. It was a kind of mini date for them; they both looked like the perfect Bellanaija couple house hunting. He asked her what she thought about each one he said he would only consider anyone she approves of because he trusted her judgment.

They were viewing the third house and they were in the kitchen alone. She was gushing about the kitchen because it was mad. It was her dream kitchen she couldn't believe someone had constructed it in Lagos. The property developers for the house she is buying said they couldn't fit it into the budget gave her all sort of excuses claimed it would be hard to pull off in naija when she showed them a picture of a similar one she got on the internet.

"So you really like this one huh?" He said as he hugged her from the back and she turned in his arms

"You have no idea! " She said big smile on her face. He too was happy she liked it.

"Glad you like it" he said as he tried to kiss her again because they were finally alone but she ducked.

He smiled and nodded as she looked away and pushed her braids behind her ears. He looked like he wanted to say something but the agent came back and interrupted them. Thank God!.

After house hunting they went for dinner in a nice restaurant. They ate quietly as the small tension that formed between them after the kiss 'dodging' episode decreased.

He broke the silence after the waiter brought their dessert and the bill booklet.

"So what is the problem Toyin?" He said

She looked up at him. She couldn't even eat her food properly, she was playing with it.

"We've been together officially for more than two months now; I understand it's been long distance for the half of it but come on! You can't kiss me, or even look me in the eye" He whispered the last part.

"I'm perfectly cool with abstaining till we get married but you squirm away when I come close to you. Tell me, are you dealing with some issues? I'm here for you"

She shook her head.

"What is it then? you're not attracted to me?"

Honestly, she didn't know that the pregnancy scare messed her up like that. It was deeper than she thought.

She had seen a gynecologist already with Sofi because she also wanted to know why her period was late that particular month. The Doctor recommended a birth control patch, it was easier to use and will not just to prevent pregnancy but also help reduce her cramps, PMS and acne. He added that it would make her period more regular and said the late period was probably due to hormonal fluctuations nothing serious. The Doctor said if she was ready to get pregnant, all she had to do is stop wearing the patch.

So was more than happy to get patches, she thought it would end her fear of getting intimate again but it didn't work!

The whole thing shocked her.

She started thinking maybe what she needed was therapy not just birth control. Maybe she has PTSD from the pregnancy scare. Yeah it's a thing.

It had to be because she WAS attracted to Gbenga the first time she met him at that conference, this whole shit started after the pregnancy scare. She should see a therapist she thought. Are there even therapists in this Lagos that would take her seriously?

"What is the problem then?" Gbenga asked her again, he looked hurt.

The guilt of hurting him was killing her but she couldn't tell him about her issues. What was she supposed to tell him? That she had unprotected sex with someone she wasn't even dating, who she was living with and then thought she was pregnant, and had a mental breakdown and now she probably has PTSD which has destroyed her libido?

No that was her baggage and that was embarrassing AF to share with anyone but Sofi. She has not even talked about it with her co-perpetrator, Osaze. She just needed to overcome, work harder on the relationship.

"I am sorry Toyin, I can't do this anymore, I don't feel like you want me" He put down his cutlery then held her hand.

"I feel like you just want a husband. I mean, I want a wife too but at least the woman I spend the rest of my life with should want me, as a man"

Wait is he breaking up with me?

He brought out his wallet, counted cash, placed it inside the bill booklet and stood up. He did not even finish his food and Gbenga loves food. He stood up grabbed his phone and keys.

"I'll call an uber for you." He said as he walked away.

She just sat down there frozen, looking at him. She was shocked, she couldn't even follow him. How did they go from house hunting to break up just like that? How. Was he being serious or was he just bluffing.

She wanted to follow him to the short let apartment he was staying in but she knew deep down that if she goes and he tries to kiss her again she would still reject him. So she just went to her house quietly. She needed to understand what was doing her too before addressing it.

That night when she got home, she opened a bottle of wine and started drinking in her kitchen. She thought about how she had become an asshole like those guys she hated. Gbenga came to Lagos because of her!

He is making big moves because of her, he is the serious type of man she has been praying for, he treats her like a queen.

"My village people have finally caught up with me," She muttered to herself as she filled her glass again.

After moping and feeling bad for herself, she was finally sleepy but she wanted to bathe first. The house hunting was a little bit physically straining; they walked a lot and climbed many stairs, so she sweated a lot that day.

She decided to shower in Osaze's the guest room. She had not gone there since he left. She was avoiding it. Maybe it was the alcohol sha, but that nigh she wanted to have a nice vigorous and refreshing shower. Wash that PTSD away.

The room was empty like it used to be before he moved in with her. There was no trace of him but when she put on the light, her eye caught something reflecting the light underneath the table where used to work and she crouched under the table to carry it.

It was his white headphones. She picked it up and looked at it in her hand as if it was some archaeological discovery in a ruin site. She remembered he got a new one because one side stopped working.

He loved playing music while working said it helped him get 'in the zone'. He had a big afrobeats playlist on his phone. She smiled as she thought about how he was such a huge afrobeats fan despite the fact that he is an IJGB, he even knew more naija songs and artistes than she did.

As she dropped it on the table she caught a whiff of his scent and she paused. She didn't know the fragrance he used but she knew what he smelled like. The scent reminded her of his hair, his neck; HIM and the whole thing turned her on instantly just thinking about it.

She sat down on the bed and sighed. Is it the alcohol?

She realized in that moment that she was not suffering from any yeye PTSD jor!

She was still attached to Osaze. He was still occupying her subconscious... she was not over him yet!

She had not moved past whatever it is they had. Tears poured down her cheeks as she finally admitted to herself that she missed him, she missed having him around. She was very comfortable around him, she really liked him, but they were not a good match...timing wise. Right?

HAPPY NEW MONTH!

Osaze: ⬇️⬇️

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