Playing On

In silence, Hayden lays in his bed, staring up into the dark abyss, which seems to be swallowing him whole. It is too dark for him to make anything out, even his own fingers. Turning his head slightly, he checks what time it is and realizes that it's almost two in the morning. What is he doing right now? He should be sound asleep, dreaming of the day when he and Cecilia could be together without any obstacles keeping them apart. So why isn't he?

With shaky breaths, he looks back up towards the ceiling before his eyes clench shut. Why is he like this? Why is he needlessly worrying about Charlie...again?

Jillian said she was fine. Yet, despite knowing that no harm has come to the girl, this incessant feeling keeps gnawing at the insides of his chest, not allowing him to have the peace and quiet he so desperately craves. The comfortable and safe stability he's been accustomed to nowhere to be found. It's like this heavy weight is sitting on top of his heart, unwilling to go away, as though it wants him to stay awake and experience the uneasiness he's always been keen of avoiding.

The uncertainty, which makes Hayden question not only himself, but everything he has ever known.

Whenever he's with Charlie, especially when they were younger, Hayden had always been the worrywart out of the two. How could he not be? Charlie's reckless; she's brash and painfully honest, constantly voicing out her opinions, even if they might result with her going home with a bloody nose and several bruises. She wasn't (and still isn't) the most sentimentally inclined person in the world, but somehow, that stubbornly violent girl, who swears like a sailor, always manages to make his heart stammer.

Even when he's hopelessly in love with somebody else.

Hayden knows this sounds terrible. He also knows very well that what he's thinking isn't right. It goes against everything he believes in. But forgetting your childhood love is easier said than done. It's an even harder thing to do when she lives just down the street from him and he runs into her almost every day. And now? It's practically impossible for Hayden to wash away the memories they shared when she's the person holding him together, keeping his life from tearing at the seams.

Call him selfish, call him cruel, but Hayden's heart might just be beating for two.

The next morning, Charlie wakes up well past noon, but that's nothing out of the ordinary for her. Drowsily, she wanders downstairs, successfully steering clear from a trip to the emergency room. She immediately finds her way to the refrigerator and begins to scavenge for something to eat.

Orange juice sounds incredible, especially for her throat, which feels extremely parched. Charlie finds a liter of it stashed in the back, uncaps it and chugs it straight out of the carton. The doorbell echoes throughout the house and after closing the fridge with her butt, she goes to answer it.

Hayden is staring at his feet, wondering if he should just leave as the cold October air nips at his skin. Suddenly, he hears the door open and lifts his head up. Charlie is decked out in a large, dark gray Marvel t-shirt and a pair of black basketball shorts. In her grasp is a carton of her favorite drink and the boy finds himself looking at her without uttering a single word. "What are you doing here?" she questions, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. Her voice reels him back to reality and Hayden's senses return.

"I wanted to check up on you. To make sure you were alright," he fumbles over his words and shifts in discomfort.

She gestures to her body and looks at him. "As you can see I'm alive and well. Is that it?"

Anxiety crawls up his throat and without thinking it through, his mouth moves on its own. "Where did you go last night?"

Charlie turns around, walking back to the kitchen. Hayden enters the house and follows her. "To the comic shop," she answers as she reaches for a bagel.

He doesn't want to know who she went with because deep down, he already has a candidate in mind. However, his curiosity gets the best of him. "With who?"

Once she puts the bagel into the toaster, Charlie retrieves the jar of Nutella from the cupboard. She doesn't see a reason to lie. "With Ethan," she says without batting a lash.

That suffocating feeling comes back, more intensified this time around, and Hayden tries his hardest to sound unfazed. "Oh, I see. Well, I know I have no right to tell you this, but please be careful with who you're hanging out with. We're still a couple after all."

"I've been meaning to talk to you about that," Charlie remarks. "It's been almost a month since we started fake dating. Don't you think it's time we ended things now?" From what she's heard, it doesn't seem like anyone is suspicious of Cecilia anymore. Then again, that's how it is in high school. One second, you could be the center of attention, but as time passes by and new gossip makes the headlines, you've been long forgotten.

Hayden stands up straight and exhales. "I thought we'd end things when everyone was convinced that we're actually an item?" he returns. "Do you not realize how bad it looked when you weren't there after I won Homecoming Prince?" His tone comes out more bitter than he anticipated, yet Charlie doesn't pay any attention to it.

"No?" she answers indifferently.

It takes everything in the boy not to get angry. "It was really suspicious, okay? We can't breakup. At least, not right now," he says assertively.

Charlie thinks about it and her bagel pops up from the toaster. She goes to take the pieces out and sets them on a plate. Honestly, she doesn't want to get into an argument right now, especially with Hayden. Now that she's thought about it, her sudden disappearance from the homecoming dance could have raised some red flags. It's probably smart if they lay low for the time being. "If you say so."

The boy's eyes round in shock. "Wait, you're not going to argue with me about it?"

"There's no point." She shrugs while spreading thick layers of the chocolatey-goodness onto her bagel. "Anyways, you can let yourself out right? I have to shower and go to work."

His ears perk up. "I can bring you if you want. I didn't see your truck outside," Hayden offers.

"Yeah, Chase needed to use it." Charlie explains, taking a big bite of her breakfast, or lunch, whatever you want to call it. With her mouth full, she continues, "But it's cool. I can take the bus."

Hayden stands his ground. "Charlie, I can take you. It's not a big deal. It'll help us look more realistic, too." What is he doing? Even he doesn't know.

"I guess so," resigns the girl. "You remember our cover story, right?"

"Yeah, what about it?" he questions.

"It's better to be prepared. Jack might start asking us questions and what not. I don't want to be blindsided like last time."

"Don't worry, I'll be there." Smiles Hayden. "I'll go home and change and then come get you after," he declares.

Her brows scrunch together. "Why do you need to change?"

"My swings have been a little off. I think I'm getting rusty. I could use the extra practice," he answers.

Charlie snorts out loud and nods her head in agreement. "Yeah, your swings have been pretty fucking shitty," she states bluntly.

Usually, people get offended by such harsh criticism, but her words cause his lips to curl up into an amused smile instead. "I can always count on you to tell me the truth."

The drive towards the cage is nothing out of the norm. The two of them don't talk and allow the radio to speak in their place. Every now and then, Hayden would steal a glimpse of Charlie only to find her either texting away on her phone or gazing out the window. He wants to say something, anything, but he doesn't know where to start.

Should he reminisce about the old times? The times where things had been simple and straightforward, unlike how they are now? He has so many questions he wants to ask her. However, he can't seem to find the voice to do so.

There are so many inquiries whirling around in his head, wreaking havoc on his mind and the stagnant beating in his heart is growing louder with each passing minute. Hayden wants to know why she never tried out for any of the sports teams at school when she could easily make the cut. He wants to know when she realized she was interested in the same gender. He wants to know how she's been doing all of these years without him, but he doesn't have the courage nor does he feel like he has the right to hear any of her answers.

They arrive and Charlie exits the vehicle first. Hayden quickly follows suit, making sure to grab his equipment from the trunk. The two of them enter the establishment, with Charlie ahead of him a few steps. Jack glances up from the front counter and his mouth falls ajar at the sight. "Charlie! Hayden!" he bellows, seizing both of their attentions.

Charlie tucks her phone away and peers over to Hayden, her eyes telling him to be ready for any curve balls her cousin might try to throw at them. "Hey, Jack. It's been awhile." Hayden greets.

"Tell me about it. I can't believe you're dating Charlie. I never thought the two of you would get together. It was definitely a big surprise." Jack laughs before his eyes land on the girl. "So, you never did tell me how the two of you came to be."

"I was busy and it slipped my mind," she lies smoothly.

"Care to share now that we're all here?"

"It wasn't anything special, really." Hayden cuts in. "I realized I liked Charlie as more than a friend sometime last year. It happened at the end of one of my baseball games. I believe it was the one against Riverton. We won and everyone was so happy. I confessed to her on the field, once everyone had left to celebrate, and asked her to be my girlfriend with a baseball. As you can see, she said yes."

"That's ridiculously cheesy," Jack comments. "But it worked. I knew you had a sappy side to you, Charlie."

"Now that you've heard our incredibly romantic love story, can I get to work now?" she grumbles. The older boy puts his hands up in a surrendering motion before he goes into the office. Then, Charlie turns to look at Hayden. "What are you still doing here? Don't you have to work on your swings?"

Hayden spends approximately two hours practicing at the cage. When his body feels exhausted, he would stop to take a break, his eyes unknowingly flitting over to where Charlie is every chance they get. They never lock gazes due to the fact that she's never looked his way and he can't help but feel utterly disappointed. But what's he expecting? Things have always been like this between them. Why would it start changing now?

With sweat covering his entire body, Hayden packs his equipment away and heads towards the exit. He stops by the front counter first. "Should I come get you when you get off?"

Charlie glances up and shakes her head. "Nah, you don't need to."

"Why not?" Hayden asks.

"Ethan's picking me up. We're going somewhere after," she announces.

"Oh, okay." There's no way she can like him. He has nothing to worry about. "I'll see you at school then."

"Yeah, seeya." With his head drooped low, Hayden vacates the facility. Once he's out of sight, Jack turns to stare at his cousin.

"Did I hear that correctly?" he questions.

Charlie turns to look at him. "What?"

"Did you just tell your boyfriend you were going out with another guy?" he gawks incredulously.

"I'm not going out with another guy," she dejects. "I'm going out with Ethan."

"Did you not see the look on Hayden's face?"

She blinks profusely. "What look?"

"The one that says he doesn't want you to go," he says candidly.

"Don't be ridiculous, Jack. Why wouldn't Knight want me to go?"

"Because he's your boyfriend?" her cousin replies, as if it's the most obvious answer in the entire world, which it kind of is.

"What does that have to do with anything?" the girl queries. "Just because I have a boyfriend doesn't mean I can't hang out with my friends."

"Oh Charlie," Jack sighs in defeat. "I never thought I'd say this to you, but god, are you naïve. Don't you know guys can get jealous too?"

"I'm not that slow," huffs the girl. "Of course I know that. I just don't understand why you'd think he'd be jealous."

"Do I really have to spell this out for you?" Her best friend exasperates. "You're his girlfriend and you just turned his offer down so that another guy can come and whisk you away in his stead. It doesn't look good."

"You're making this into a big deal when it isn't," drones Charlie. "It's not like I'm committing adultery or something. Besides, there's absolutely no reason for him to be jealous whatsoever. You probably saw wrong."

Jack quirks a brow. "Are you sure about that?"

"Positive," she affirms. There's no reason Hayden would be jealous of her going out with Ethan. He has Cecilia for crying out loud! She's convinced that Jack's eyes are just playing tricks on him or something.

That has to be it.

- - -

Author's Thoughts: Don't be so surprised. Someone must have thought that there was a chance that Hayden could have had feelings for Charlie (the peewee photo he had being a big hint) and there it is, ladies and gents! Let the madness commence! Please leave comments and votes, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

I have big news too. I have decided to make Jack, yes the one above, his own story! I already have the synopsis posted and prologue, so please do check it out! If you love this story, I think you might love Jack's story as well. I know I do! It's called Complications with Commitment 101! Also, PST will most likely be 50 chapters. Ah and if you want a light read, do check out my story entitled Behind that Smile.

Happy Early Valentine's Day <3