After Shea left I spent the night in bed staring at my ceiling, hoping that the more the alcohol wore off the less I'd want to take my chances finding Colby.

Yep. That was pointless.

The longer I lay here, the more I feel I have to be strapped down to keep myself from running to him. No distraction is loud enough to make me forget anymore.

***

Crickets create a white noise through the trees I tread through. Every step leaves me shakier than the last, but I push onward.

Maybe he won't even be there.

I remember the path loosely, but my intuition feels I'm going in the right direction. I almost second guess myself into turning around, hopping in my car, and crying in some McDonalds parking lot, but then the dark outline of the old house appears through the clearing.

I approach quietly, listening for any sign of life. It's silent besides the hum of the bugs and the very faint traffic from LA below.

The wood creaks as I lurk on the porch, staring through the ajar door into the dark, old house. Taking a breath, I cautiously enter its lonesome interior. Though its outside is uninviting, its skeleton and the ghosts that made it a home are just as I remember. Colors are a bit more faded, and the dust is a little heavier, but everything is as it was months ago.

My heart begins to thud as I head upstairs to the attic. Anyone in here would certainly know I've joined. The house talks with my movements.

Through the moonbeams shining into the window, a silhouette casts itself on the floor boards.

Fuck.

I take in the sight of his back to me. His posture his heavy and relaxed as he gazes up at the stars.

He's made no reaction to my footsteps. So, I take another, holding my breath for the moment he sees me.

I'm nearly by the frame before he finally turns his head over his shoulder. He jumps at my appearance. His mouth drops open but he makes no sound louder than a gasp, eyes wide as he looks me up and down with disbelief.

I stare back at him with the same expression before I have to drag my feet over the ledge and climb myself out next to him without a word. My mind blurs with the image of the sadness I just saw in his eyes.

"How'd you know I'd be here?" His voice is a soft whisper.

I hadn't noticed myself do it, but my head is on his shoulder. The fabric of his shirt kisses my cheek lightly, and his scent filters through my nose. I forgot what he smelled like.

"I had a feeling.." my throat is dry and tight as I choke back tears. It doesn't feel real. It feels like I'm walking through a dream and in a moment it'll all be taken from me.

His arm finds itself around my shoulders, and his thumb traces my skin softly, curiously. I feel his head turn to look at me, but I keep my eyes closed.

I don't want to wake up.