Hey guys.

I was procrastinating whether I should tell you the story but since it gotten worse, I'll share. Note that this isn't to tarnish her name or whatsoever. In fact, I'm gonna bring out something positive in this shitty event I encountered.

She mocked me. For the second time. I let it go the first time and I'm gonna let her go again this time round. Yes I get it I still do talk to him about generic stuff. Boys stuff to be exact like phones and gadgets cause he's good in it. To be very honest, I don't have many guy friends. I'm blessed with many girl friends but not guys. I could actually count how many there are. So when it comes to the guy stuff I tend to go to him since he knows me well too and he never fail to give me a clear cut answer instead of the others who makes me even more confused.

Secondly, when I was with him, I didn't even control who he can talk to. For example, wouldn't it be bitchy of me to say: Hey Val, you can't talk with any of your girl classmates, you can only talk to me and me only. Now that you have me, you aren't allowed to talk to any other girls. You would hate me, won't you? You'd go like who the hell does she think she is? His mother? Exactly. Therefore when we were tgt, I didn't limit to who he can talk to. I'm not saying there won't be a pinch of jealousy. That's normal. But I trust him and he does too. I trust that no matter how many girls he talks to, he knows where to draw the line and at the end of the day, his heart knows who it belongs to and that was me. At that point of time. I mean trust is key to a relationship. No trust, no love. It's a foundation to building up a strong relationship. Therefore please trust your partner to whoever is attached right now.

Trust them, yeah?

He blocked me, yes and then he unblocked. I know him well. No matter how much he says he doesn't wanna talk to me, a part of him does. I know he is being a good bf to her. I get it. In fact I feel something is wrong but who am I to butt in?

Thirdly, recently something happened. I kept receiving anonymous emails promising me a huge amount of money. 5.5M to be exact. It was very convincing. The person even gave me the details to her lawyer, address and even a phone number. I was scared cause this anonymous email came from abroad. I turned to him cause I was really terrified and as always, he knows what to do. I terribly needed a guy friend to talk to. Plus he has a detective like mind so I know turning to him won't be a mistake. He talked normally to me. Actually we talked casually. Nothing was wrong until she decided to think that I'm crazy.

Imagine if she was in my shoes and keep receiving anonymous emails, she'll be paranoid too wouldn't she? Therefore different theories would pop up in your head.

And wow, she said I had serious mental issues? Really? Wow. She doesn't even speak to me personally before and she dare say something demeaning as that. I don't understand what she wants. She already won. She got him. She's with the man I love. She won. What more does she want?

To top that off, she's a rich man's daughter. And I'm just your regular plain Jane who works as a barista to earn a decent living. She got everything. I lost everything. What more does the want...

I'm sorry if I'm ranting till this point but I hope you don't mind reading further even though it's lengthy.

Does it make her feel good when she mocked me? Saying I'm insane cause I was having a panic attack due to paranoia? Does it make her powerful that she's in control? I never see Val so afraid before. I never see someone as controlling as her. I can feel that in way or another something is wrong but Val is good at hiding his true feelings.

I didn't reply her back not cause I wanna show her I lost. I already have the moment she got him. I didn't reply to her message cause I don't want to be a reflection of her. If I say something harsh in return, we would be of no difference and in no helluva way I wanna be someone like her.

I don't care if I'm poor or whatever and she's the rich girl who gets everything she wants. One thing for sure, I always make sure my manners sticks with me. That I'll have principles. I know this may sound like a typical Korean drama or story about a rich mean girl and an average girl and a guy in between but no, I'm not gonna fight for him cause he ain't worth it.

You know, I always believed that mean girls only exist in movies but she proved me wrong. This only happened yesterday,
31st January 2016.

He's no different as well. If he is, he would apologize. At least on her behalf. For saying something so low as that. For claiming someone is insane and she end it off by saying it was her opinion.

I don't give a damn about her opinion.

It doesn't matter.

And here comes the moral part.

Reason why Val and I still talk is because we forgive each other. And when you forgive someone, it's not only a simple 5 letter word sorry that you utter.

That simple 5 letter word you utter to the other person has a huge significance.

When you apologize to someone, when you say 'hey I'm sorry for everything I've done' it means this:

1. You forgive their faults
2. You don't judge them for the past
3. You accept things the way they are
4. You put their faults at the back of your mind
5. You set them free, at the same time set yourself free

They say forgiveness is not a weakness. Cause you're setting yourself free as well. You're no longer caged up in your cell of thoughts or emotions. You're free. Reason why we forgive.

Val, he is an introvert. Family oriented. Shy yet happy-go-lucky. He loves his mum a lot. You can say he's a mummy's boy. There's so many I can say but I don't wanna brag. Although now, I don't see that guy anymore.

He's different.

He's scared. He's controlled. I know this is just my gut feeling but it's usually right. I hope everything is fine with him. You might think I'm silly to wish them the best but hey, if he can't be happy with me then seeing him happy even if it's with someone else, it's alright. So long as I know he's smiling.

Ah. I have to apologize again for reading this boring a/n. I've to confess. To those who actually personal message simply to thank me that this book helped them, in all honesty, you guys shouldn't. Here I am telling people at my bonus: end chapter to just breathe and go with the flow of life yet I'm still trying my best to pull myself up. In fact, I was hit with another arrow just yesterday. One of my lovely readers said that I'll get through this and her words ring in my head everyday.

Like I said, my purpose as an author is not only to express myself and to try to make you guys have mixed emotions reading my different genres of stories, but it's also cause with each book, I hope that a message is sent across. Whether you see it as positive or negative, it's all to your perspective.

I'll be okay. Her words sting me, her words are sharper than a knife but I know time will heal and time will tell when I'll fully recover emotionally. Once I do, I'll look back and thank them for the hurt they put me through.

If these were to happen to any of you, mean girls mocking and you feel bullied or demoralize, don't ever retaliate. If not, you wouldn't be any different. Maybe there's a reason why people like us are the victims instead of the predator. Maybe it's because God knows that we've a strong soul and no matter how many people pushes beyond your limit, you'll still be okay cause you're born with an undying soul. A soul that sees good regardless of the bad. A soul that spreads positivity. Most importantly, a soul that forgives.

No matter how cliche it sounds, there is a reason for everything. Whether the reason is apparent or hidden, it's still there. You can search for it or you let it come to you.

To those who read Book 2: Player, I ain't sure whether to resume after what happened. But maybe I will. I don't know.

I wanna thank to those who actually comforted me personally. You know who you are. May God bless your beautiful soul.

I'll be fine. I'll go back to writing more twisted stories or even unexpected ones. Guess for now i just need a break, I mean from life. I'm glad writing exists and I can't believe it's almost a year ever since I'm an author here. I started March 2015. For those who read Just Friends, you guys noticed that I named every chapter as months? And there's one part where Taehyung sent a longass message? That was my msg to Val. That's based on my real life story too. Well the first half at least.

I should really stop talking. This is all part of life. So yeah. I'll be fine. Just like Jungkook, I'll blossom into someone even stronger and tell myself that I no longer know someone named Valent in my life.

So so so sorry for this super lengthy story. You guys are the best. I started this book on December and by end of Jan it hit 10K. Wow you guys are amazing. Where do you all come from, really? I'm always curious.

Someone asked me: How does your books get thousands of views? I couldn't answer back then. But guess now I can.

The answer is: Write sincerely from the deepest depths of your heart. No matter how simple the plot may be, if you are sincere and you persevere, you'll go beyond far. Trust me.

Next month would be exactly one year of me being an author here and I want to thank every single one of you precious gems for making this one year writing journey a memorable one. Some who comment even used my signature Stay Golden trademark. Why I always end it that way? To remind you and myself to stay true to yourself regardless of what happens. Be original. Be you. Be dauntless. Thank you so much, loves.

Thank you for sparing your time to read this.

Once more, I'll be fine (:

Stay Golden❤️