I am fucked. Completely and utterly fucked.

I shoot a glare at my two supposed best friends, Rose and Aster, who are standing just a few feet away, twin grins plastered on their faces. Those smiles do nothing to quell the anxiety curling in my stomach like a coiled snake, ready to strike.

Rose and Aster are identical twins. Gorgeous, stunning, manipulative twins. Aster is my sister-in-law, someone who had been in my life for years and we'd become close, two years ago she had married my older brother, Matt. I had met Rose through Aster, and they had both become closer to me than anyone else.

They are my best friends, and I tell them everything. Well, almost everything and judging from their faces right now, they aren't happy I've been keeping something from them - even if they only think they know what it is. To be honest, I've been trying to rid myself of the memory for the last two years - longer if I'm even more honest with myself.

They smile wide, faces full of mischief as my eyes narrow on them.

'Girl week,' they said. 'It'll be fun,' they said. 'Just us,' they said.

So why the hell were there two hulking ice hockey players standing behind them, staring at me with equally amused expressions?

I bite my lip, narrowing my eyes on Aster, knowing she's the mastermind behind this. My brother's wife is nothing if not a professional meddler.

Matt appears then, holding a tray of coffees and looking at me with a grin. I send one back as he passes a coffee to Aster and then Levi. "I didn't know you were here yet, otherwise I would've gotten you a coffee." My brother says, wrapping an arm around me to pull me into his side for a hug. The act is almost painful, my shoulder squished up to my ears and by the cheeky grin Matt shoots my way, he knows it.

I shrug out of his annoying hug, turning my body to face all of them. "I can get my own." I murmur, my stomach filling with butterflies as I look from my brother to the two other men.

I shift my gaze to Tobias first, offering him a small but tight, strained smile. His grin widens, and I swear there's a glint of delight in his eyes. Then I look over at Levi, who's standing just behind him, and narrow my eyes further. My heart climbs into my throat as I realize what this means.

If Matt, Tobias and Levi are here, then that means the fourth member of their little group is not far behind.

I'd first met Tobias and Levi at Matt's wedding to Aster, Tobias had knocked up Rose and, unbeknownst to Rose at the time of their one night together, he was friends with Matt - her identical twin sisters' fiancée – and well things kind of went haywire after that. But that's their story to tell. Levi and Tobias work with Jason, and that was how they'd met Matt.

Jason Wilde, professional hockey player, panty dropper, charmer and heart breaker and he just so happens to be my brothers' best friend.

I'd watched Jason Wilde break girls hearts one after another in high school and yet they kept lining up for one shot to tame the notorious player.

I'd promised myself I would not be one of the girls Jason has falling at his feet or one he inevitably leaves behind - because he always did and I, being his best friends little sister and the girl that seemed to be closest to him - even if we weren't close at all, was there to pick up the pieces or receive the dirty looks.

Thanks god that stopped when he went off to university. I hadn't had to deal with Jason's heartbreaking ways for years.

Rose and Aster know that though. What they don't know is that even though I knew better, I still got drunk at his graduation party and slept with the one boy who seemed to get everyone - and then he went off to university and we never spoke of it again.

I don't even think he remembers it.

I do though, and I'm not likely to repeat it . . . again.

Because when I did finally see Jason Wilde after years, he was no longer the eighteen year old boy that had girls falling at his feet, he was a man with women who would sell their souls for one glance, men who would do anything to be in the same room as him. He was a famous hockey star.

But I was still just Matt's little sister and still making the same mistakes, because, once again I got drunk and slept with the one person I shouldn't. The person I'd given my virginity to at seventeen and then made the mistake again at twenty-seven at my own brother's wedding.

I tend to leave that tidbit of information out of conversations. Mainly because if Aster knew, she would tell my brother and then the whole thing would blow up in my face and if I told Rose, she would tell Aster and then, well you know where this is going.

I seemed to make it a habit when alcohol and Jason Wilde were involved. Sleeping with your brother's best friend. I don't recommend it, it doesn't end well.

Hence why I'd avoided any situations that called for both for the last two years. I haven't found myself in the same room as Jason Wilde for two years – and I'll admit, its childish to avoid group birthday parties and get-togethers just so I don't see one guy, but I never claimed to be mature - I only claimed to be too busy to go – the life of a nurse and all that.

I thought I was subtle in my plan, but judging by the looks Rose and Aster are sending me, I wasn't subtle enough.

But I needed to see my girlfriends, which is why I agreed to this holiday in the first place – plus, my brother and his merry man of misfits weren't invited.

Or, so I thought.

I can feel my heart skipping a beat in my chest and I tell myself my heart has issues, not that I'm nervous to see Jason.

Rose bounces over to me - or as much as she can with a bump the size of a small basketball attached to her, her excitement bubbling over as she practically vibrates with energy and even at six-months pregnant she is glowing and as energetic as ever.

"I decided we all needed a tropical holiday!" she announces, her voice pitched a little too high for this early in the morning. "A week of sun, sand, and sea, with the best people in the world." Her eyes twinkle and she grins, "I can't have a babymoon without my besties." She gives me wide eyes, knowing I can't stay angry at her even if her and her sister both lied to get me here.

My heart sinks even lower at the confirmation. "All of us?" I manage to ask, my voice sounding far steadier than I feel.

Rose nods eagerly, completely oblivious to the fact that I'm on the verge of a full-blown panic attack. "Of course! Matt and Aster, Tobias, Levi, and—"

"Jason," I finish for her, the name slipping from my lips like a curse.

"Little Arden," Jason's voice is low and teasing, sending shivers down my spine which I blame entirely on the cool aircon. "Miss me?" I hate that nickname. He used to call me it when I was a child, and it hadn't stopped even after I'd gone through puberty.

I freeze. I hadn't seen him since I'd snuck out of his room the morning after Matt and Aster's wedding - avoided him like the plague and yet my attempts were futile because here he was, standing right behind me, close enough that I can feel the heat of his body.

I turn around slowly, plastering on a neutral expression. "Jason. Fancy seeing you here." I glance over his shoulder, "Without an entourage of willing fangirls, I see."

His green eyes narrow, and he mouths the word, 'Jealous?' He'd grown his hair out since the last time I'd seen him, from buzz cut to collarbone length dark waves. He looked like a cowboy, rough and roguish.

'Hardly.' I mouth back, scowling at how easily he riles me up.

He smirks, his eyes gleaming with that infuriating mix of amusement and something else. "I'm on vacation, that means I have to give the girls a break too." He jokes, glancing over my shoulder to nod at the rest of our friends. "Matter of fact, the last time I took a holiday was your brothers wedding." He looks to me as he says the words, dragging his gaze across my neck, as if emphasizing exactly what he's alluding to.

Like he was daring me to admit that I hadn't stopped thinking about him. Which is a lie. Jason Wilde does not take up residence in my mind.

He looks away quickly, walking past me to pat Matt on the back in one of those man bro hug things guys do before repeating with Tobias and Levi. I scrunch my nose up, trying to drag my gaze away from the way his shirt stretches along the expanse of his back. A throat clears to my side, and I look over at Aster, scowling harder at the knowing grin on her face.

"Well, I'm getting coffee. Anybody want anything? No? Perfect," I say coolly, turning on my heel and heading toward the coffee shop, feeling the gaze and attention of more than just our friend group on me. Perks of being associated with the states most notorious hockey players. As soon as I leave the little bubble we'd created around us, its popped by two women, striding straight for Jason and Levi.

If I was going to survive this trip, I'd need caffeine. Lots of it. Maybe alcohol too.

Wait no, no alcohol, Arden.

I'm not here to relive old mistakes . . . again. I am here to enjoy myself, to let loose and forget about everything. What a better time to forget the way Jason's body felt against mine then a tropical holiday?

The coffee line is mercifully short, and I'm already mentally preparing my order when I feel someone step up behind me. Too close behind me.

I freeze, every nerve ending in my body going on high alert. The scent of sandalwood and something distinctly masculine fills my nose, and I know, even without turning around, who it is. He's smelt the same since he was a damn teenager.

"Do you always sneak up on people, follow them around like a lost puppy hoping for a scrap of attention?"

"Only you," he replies, his breath warm against my neck. "Gotta keep an eye on you, you seemed to always find trouble when Matt and I left you alone as teens."

"Grande flat white with an extra shot, right?" He says, swooping in front of me to take over my order and add on his own.

I scowl, annoyance igniting in me.

He looks back at me, raising one challenging brow.

"Buying me coffee isn't going to make me hop on your dick." I hush, keeping my voice quiet so no one overhears. He eyes widen at my crass words.

"I don't remember you having such a mouth on you."

I scoff, "How would you know, you were too busy being fawned over in high school to notice me."

"Trust me, I noticed you." Jason hums, and I roll my eyes. "You're my best mates' little sister, how could I not?"

I cross my arms, turning slightly away from him and he sighs, "Just accept the coffee, Arden. I'm being a gentlemen."

I can't stop the laugh the escapes me. "You seem to forget I've known you for years, you're a player Wilde. You always have been, good for one thing if I remember correctly and it's not cuddles and marriage and settling down."

That was a line he'd use often in his spiel when he got tired of the girls who were following him.

"If you'd been keeping up with the articles, as I'm sure you have, Arden, you'd know I'm a gentleman." He jokes, "Sober two years now." He looks at me meaningfully.

I hadn't been keeping up with him, actually, I'd blocked the gossip sites from popping up anywhere I might look just to distance myself. "Practically a virgin." I say sarcastically.

"I prefer reformed player."

"Well, colour me shocked." I mutter, reaching forward for my coffee when it's called. "I wonder how long that'll last." I trail off, turning my back to him but he doesn't leave at the obvious dismissal, matching me step for step. "Go find your white picket fence elsewhere and leave me alone, Wilde." I reach for my phone, checking boarding time and Jason peers over my shoulder.

"You can't get rid of me that easily, Arden," He grins when I look up. "We're seat buddies." Then he sips his coffee and strides off, full of male ego.

I let out a string of curses under my breath as I try to change my seat, but the app won't let me. Full flight. Of course it is.

I'm so screwed.

Desperate, I march over to the check-in desk, but the gate agent just gives me a sympathetic smile and shakes her head. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but the flight is completely booked. There's nothing I can do."

I return to my friends, feeling like the walls are closing in on me. Rose looks at me with smiling eyes, and I know I can't back out now. I can't disappoint her, not after all the effort she's put into this trip. So, with a resigned sigh, I grab my bag and move for the gate.

Let's just get this over with.

We board the plane, and I find my seat next to Jason, my heart pounding in my chest. He settles in beside me, his body warm and solid in the cramped space. I try to focus on the safety instructions, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm trapped.

The flight attendant comes by with drinks, and Jason makes some comment I don't fully register because I'm too busy trying to figure out how I ended up in this situation. His hand brushes against mine as he passes me a cup, and I flinch at the contact. Damn him. Damn this whole trip.

"You okay?" he asks, his tone deceptively gentle.

I nod, staring out the window. "Just peachy."

He chuckles softly, the sound vibrating through me. "You know, your nose has always scrunched slightly in the middle when you're angry, it's kind of cute."

I turn to him, "And you're a pain in the ass."

He grins, leaning back in his seat. "Still got those claws I see. Glad to see nothing's changed."

As the plane takes off, I can't help but wonder if this holiday is going to be the disaster I'm dreading, or if, somehow, I'll manage to survive it. But one thing's for sure: being stuck in close proximity with Jason Wilde is going to test every ounce of willpower I have left.

And if the way my heart races whenever he's near is any indication, I'm in serious trouble.

I don't settle. Ever. Especially not to a flirtatious hockey player with more head knocks than sense. My heart just has to remember that.

Jason Wilde is off limits.