FABIENNE

I WAS aware of what I was doing. I knew the potential rewards I could reap, as well as the possible consequences I could suffer. Alam kong masyadong risky sa part ko at inilalagay ko rin sa risk ang lahat ng mga pinaghirapan ko. Pero 'di ko magagawang manahimik sa isang sulok at hayaan ang mga kasinungalingan na kumalat pa sa campus. 'Di ko rin magagawang maging bystander habang kinukuyog ng ilan ang isang taong malapit sa 'kin.

As long as kaya kong danasin at tiisin ang bunga ng mga kilos ko, willing akong sumugal. Life is a huge gamble after all.

"Fabby! Fabby! Just a moment, please!"

"Nabasa mo na ba 'yong post ng Gotcha? Alam mo ba 'yong blind item?"

"Ikaw ba ang tinutukoy ro'n sa post? Match na match 'yong initials ng Favorite Lass sa initials mo!"

"Totoo bang 'di ka pinagsasalita ng Repertory Theater? May gag order ba sa 'yo?"

"Ano'ng comment mo sa impeachment trial na kinakaharap ng boyfriend mo?"

"Maglalabas ka ba ng statement of support sa kaniya?"

Umagang-umaga pa lang, sunod-sunod na tanong ang pina-almusal sa 'kin ng entertainment reporters. They were waiting for me at the entrance of the Arts and Sciences building! In-expect ko nang may mga magtatanong sa 'kin tungkol sa Gotcha post, pero 'di ko in-expect na sobrang dami ng magtatanong. Kagabi pa ako nakare-receive ng messages mula sa mga 'di ko kakilala, asking almost the same questions.

I should've expected this much lalo na't ang daming reactions do'n sa post. It went viral! May mga nag-tag pa nga sa 'kin. Halos kapareho ang reception kapag may controversial post tungkol sa isang celebrity.

"Fabby? May gusto ka bang sabihin? Now's the perfect time to speak up!"

Nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad mula sa entrance hall hanggang sa stairs. Nagpatuloy rin sa pagbuntot sa 'kin ang reporters. Nakayuko na nga ako at halos natatakpan na ng aking buhok ang mukha ko para 'di ako makunan ng clear picture.

Hay! Kung alam lang nila ang totoo, I had a lot to say to them! Mawiwindang sila sa mga puwede kong i-share. But I chose to hold my tongue and not say anything at all. Strategic move 'yon sa part ko. At this point, I could make things worse for myself and for everyone. Mabuti't may natutuhan ako sa celebrity news na napanood ko sa TV at nabasa sa internet.

"Fabby! Please say something! We're here to listen to you!"

"No comment!" I said while shaking my head. 'Yon ang best response sa sitwasyong 'to. Well, having no comment was a comment in itself. But I'd leave the rest to their imagination and speculations. Sila na ang bahalang gumawa ng kani-kanilang conclusions kung ano ang meaning sa likod ng response ko. They loved making stories and theories anyway. Do'n sila magaling.

"So you're not denying na ikaw nga ang tinutukoy sa blind item?"

Halos takbuhin ko na ang hagdanan para matakasan ang mga nakabuntot sa 'kin. Daig pa nila ang mga asong naghahabol ng mga kahina-hinalang tao. Malamang may nagla-livestream sa kanila habang ina-ambush at hina-harass ako ng mga tanong. Given their collective following, marami nang nakapanood kung paano ko iwasan ang mga tanong. I had every right to fight back and call them out, but this situation might work in our favor.

Priscilla isn't the only one who knows how to do some publicity.

"Fabby! Fabby!"

Agad akong pumasok sa auditorium at sinubukang pigilan ang kanilang pagpasok sa loob. Mabuti't nandito na si Colin. Babatiin na sana niya ako, pero agad akong napaturo sa likuran. Tinulungan niya akong harangan ang pinto hanggang sa tuluyan naming ma-lock. Hinabol ko muna ang aking hininga bago humarap sa kaniya. 'Di pa nagsisimula ang araw, stressed na ako.

"Thank you!" saad ko. I wouldn't have been able to block them on my own. "Parang nasa zombie apocalypse movie ako magmula kanina."

"Mukhang may bago na namang pagpipiyestahan ang mahihilig sa tsismis," tugon niya sabay titig sa 'kin. May concern sa mga mata niya. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah." Paulit-ulit akong tumango bago iginala ang tingin ko sa paligid. The audience area of the auditorium was empty. "Nasa backstage na ba si Priscilla? If I got harassed by those reporters on the way here, malamang siya rin."

"She said she's on her way na rin, kaso iniiwasan niya ang mga reporter." Bigla niyang hininaan ang kaniyang boses. "Looks like everything is working out well."

"I hope it does. Masyadong risky ang ginawa ko."

Because Colin knew my dilemma, tinulungan niya akong makaisip ng paraan para mautakan namin ang aming publicity manager. Mukhang tama ang desisyon ko na pagkatiwalaan siya. The thing about me reaching out to Gotcha? I couldn't take all the credit for myself. Umabot pa tuloy hanggang sa personal issues ko ang collaboration namin.

"Let's prepare for what she's gonna say later," I whispered to my co-actor. "She's probably not happy with the recent developments."

Sabay na naming nilakad ang aisle at nilagpasan ang mga bakanteng upuan hanggang sa tumuntong sa stage. Sa sobrang kamamadali kong tumakas, nanghina ang mga tuhod at binti ko. Inalalayan ako ni Colin na makaakyat. Sandali kaming napahinto nang may narinig kaming sunod-sunod at mabibilis na yabag galing sa stage left. Is that Priscilla fuming mad at me?

"My goodness!" Lumusot mula sa backstage si Belle at sinalubong kami sa gitna ng entablado. Kinapa niya ang mukha ko bago ang aking mga braso at kamay. "I just watched livestream on Gotcha's account! Okay ka lang ba, Fab? Gusto mo bang resbakan natin ang mga 'yon?"

"No need to worry about me. I got away from them unscathed." Pilit akong ngumiti sa kaniya. 'Di niya kailangang maging overprotective sa 'kin. Big girl na ako. "Siguradong aabangan at puputaktihin na naman ako ng mga tanong mamaya."

"Dapat sinabihan mo akong on the way ka na para sana na-escort kita sa baba!" nakapamaywang na pangaral niya. "Huwag kang mag-alala. Mamaya sasamahan kita sa pagbaba. Akong bahala sa mga haharang at mangha-harass sa 'yo."

I scratched my right cheek. 'Di niya kailangang gawin 'yon, but Belle being Belle, she wouldn't let me be inconvenienced by anything. Lagi siyang nandiyan para suportahan at ipagtanggol ako. She was willing to take on anyone, mapa-ex-boyfriend ko man 'yan o isang random person sa daan na nangha-harass sa 'kin.

"By the way." Hininaan niya ang kaniyang boses bago sumilip sa likuran. "Kilala n'yo ba kung sino'ng nagtsismis n'ong post sa Gotcha? Whoever they are, they seem to know a lot about what's going on behind the scenes here. Baka may spy sila rito."

Nagtagpo ang tingin namin ni Colin bago muling balingan ang aking kaibigan. "Actually..." Then I whispered the truth to her. She deserved to know it dahil paniguradong magtatampo siya kapag late niyang nalaman.

"REALLY?!" She clapped her hands over her mouth. Muli siyang napa-"Really?", but this time ay mas mahina. "You leaked that thing yourself? So ikaw mismo ang reason kung bakit habol nang habol sa 'yo ang mga reporter sa labas?"

I chuckled nervously. "Parang gano'n na nga. But I didn't do it for fun. I did it for a reason."

"Of course, you do have a reason!" tugon ni Belle. "Hindi mo basta-basta ipagkakalat 'yon nang walang dahilan. I think you did the right thing, but expect some—"

Bigla siyang nahinto nang marinig namin ang pagbukas ng pinto sa backstage. Nagmadali kaming pumunta ro'n para salubungin si Priscilla. Magulo ang buhok at pawisan ang mukha niya. Stressed na agad siya kahit kauumpisa pa lang ng araw.

"This is a nightmare!" she exclaimed. Inilapag niya sa upuan ang kaniyang shoulder bag at tiningnan ang itsura sa malaking salamin. She started applying some powder on her face. "Alam n'yo ba'ng may mga nakaabang na reporter sa entrance ng building na 'to? And they didn't stop chasing me even after I declined to comment!"

I'd say "deserve" lalo na't siya ang dahilan kaya humantong sa ganito ang sitwasyon. If she didn't gag me from freely sharing my thoughts without any consequences, I'd still think highly of her and I wouldn't have resorted sa ganitong strategy. But I suppressed my smile. Wala dapat siyang makitang hint na ine-enjoy ko ang nangyari.

Nang makapag-retouch na siya, lumapit siya sa 'min ni Colin. Uh-oh. Seryoso ang tingin niya na parang may malaki kaming atraso sa kaniya. Well, meron talaga. Pero 'di namin puwedeng ipahalata. It's a good thing that acting was our strongest suit. Madali sa 'kin ang magpanggap bilang isang taong walang kamalay-malay sa mga nangyari.

"It's quite obvious kung sino ang tinutukoy ng Gotcha sa kanilang post," panimula ni Priscilla. Heto na siya. Mabuti't napaghandaan ko ang ganitong reaksyon niya. "Only a handful of people here know the directive to not say anything controversial or political."

"Yeah," patango-tango kong tugon. "I wonder kung sino ang nag-leak n'on at kung isa ba sa 'tin ang may gawa n'on? I also got chased on the way here! 'Di ako tinantanan ng reporters hanggang sa natakasan ko sila."

"I'm inclined to think that it's you." She didn't beat around the bush. "Of all people who know that thing, ikaw ang atat na atat na magsalita. You've been trying to bargain with me, and when you didn't get it your way, you decided to leak the situation here."

Natamaan niya ang bullseye, but I refused to wave the white flag. So I let out a sigh. "Priscilla, if I really wanted to speak up, I would've done so already no'ng binaha ako ng messages kahapon at no'ng hinabol ako ng reporters kanina. But I declined to comment or even answer their questions. I had the perfect opportunity kanina. Kung ako ang nag-leak, I would've taken advantage of the situation. But I didn't."

"Do you think Fab will do something that might automatically point to her as the suspect behind the leak?" Colin added. Nagpapasalamat ako na nandiyan siya para back-up-an ko. I was lucky that he had my back. "I don't think she will be foolish enough para gawin 'yon. Masyadong risky sa part niya."

"If not her, then who?" Palipat-lipat ang tingin ni Priscilla sa 'kin at kay Colin. 'Tapos nagawi ang mga mata niya sa iba pa naming kasama. "Wala nang ibang nakaaalam maliban sa atin."

Colin and I gave her a shrug. I somewhat wished na meron kaming scapegoat para maalis sa 'min ang suspicions niya. Since we didn't have one, we'd have to make one.

"Maybe someone overheard us talking about it?" I asked bago iginala ang tingin kong may pagdududa sa mga taong nakapaligid sa 'min. "Baka may ibang kasama tayo rito na na-curious kung ano'ng pinag-uusapan natin, 'tapos naisipan niyang mag-eavesdrop."

"You think Gotcha has eyes and ears everywhere?"

"Don't they? Kaya nga mabilis silang makakalap ng tsismis sa campus."

Lumingon siya sa mga kasama namin na pasulyap-sulyap sa 'ming direksiyon. Lagpas tatlong dosena ang possible suspects. Agad silang umiwas ng tingin nang napasulyap sa kanila si Priscilla. Their suspicious behavior was playing right into our narrative. Thanks, guys!

"My gut tells me it's between you two." Bumalik ang mapanghinalang titig niya sa 'min. She just wouldn't let it go. "Especially you, Fabby. You're the most affected party here. Ikaw ang makakukuha ng simpatiya ng mga estudyante kapag nalaman nilang totoo ang tsismis. You have the most to gain."

"Even if I consider exposing my condition, I don't know anyone from Gotcha or any member of the entertainment media." Nagkibit-balikat ako. "Remember when they ganged up on me to ruin my image with that fake rumor? I'll never shake hands with people who tried to destroy me."

"You don't have to directly communicate with them. You can send them an anonymous tip. That will do the trick."

I fished my phone out of my pocket and offered it to her. "Kung talagang duda ka sa 'kin, you can check my phone records. Kung may kakilala kang magaling sa gadgets, puwede mo ring ipa-retrieve ang dati at deleted kong files. Wala kang makikitang kahit anong communication sa pagitan namin. Oh, don't worry. I don't have a second phone 'coz I can't afford one."

This was a gamble on my part, but it was the best way to pretend that I was innocent. Ano ba 'yan? Puro ako sugal. Wala talaga siyang makikitang exchanges ko at ng Gotcha. I used a middleman a.k.a. Reynard to relay information to them.

"I know it's important to identify the leak, but shouldn't we focus more on our reaction or response?" Colin changed the subject. Winithdraw ko na ang aking kamay na nag-o-offer sa 'king phone. "We can choose to say nothing and hope that this will die down. But what if it doesn't?"

"Sunod-sunod nga ang nagme-message sa 'kin at sinusubukang i-confirm kung totoo ang tsismis," dagdag ko at saka bumuntong-hininga. "I can tell them 'no comment,' but that's a comment on its own. Either I confirm or deny."

"Let's just deny it. Let's give them a categorical answer to make them stop," Colin told me before turning to our publicity manager. Napakrus ang mga braso niya. "What do you think?"

"If we're going to deny it, we will have to prove that it isn't true." Ang lalim ng buntong-hininga ni Priscilla, parang sobrang bigat ng kaniyang problema. Her eyes flicked up to me. "Which means I have to let you speak your mind and answer their questions. Otherwise, we will be seen as liars."

You will be seen as a liar. Siya ang nagsasalita para sa 'min kaya sa kaniya responsabilidad 'yon.

"We'll do what you want us to do," kalmado kong tugon. Importanteng maipadama sa kaniya na siya pa rin ang may kontrol. "Ikaw ang mas nakaaalam kung paano natin mapagaganda ang image ng theater sa mga mata ng target audience natin. We'll follow your lead."

She clicked her tongue. "Whoever's behind the leak, she has put me in a very awkward position." Then she gave me a side-eye stare.

"If we do the right thing and say the right words, we can get out of that awkward position." Palipat-lipat ang tingin ni Colin sa amin. "Don't you agree?"

"I do." Priscilla chewed her lower lip. Ipinikit niya ang kaniyang mga mata at halos isang minuto ring natahimik. Sumulyap ako kay Colin kaya muling nagtagpo ang tingin namin. Nang namulat na ang aming publicity manager, agad kaming bumaling sa kaniya.

What will it be, Priscilla?

"Fine!" bulalas niya. "We will issue a denial and we will let Fabby answer some questions. But don't say anything too controversial. Remember, whatever your boyfriend's going through right now is divisive. Actually, it's leaning toward one side."

Nabasa ko ang article ng The Herald. I got sad dahil maraming nag-judge kay Priam kahit 'di pa tapos ang trial. Yeah, there was coercion, but the president had nothing to do with it! Some students had already made up their minds kahit 'di pa kompleto ang facts.

"If that's what you believe is the best approach," I replied with a straight face. Deep inside, ngiting-ngiti na ako. I had nothing against her. All I wanted was to remove the gag she forced on me.

"Oh, speaking of your boyfriend," sambit ni Priscilla, "I saw your video with him the other day."

"Yeah, medyo stressful kasi nitong nakaraan kaya naisipan naming mag-destress sa labas," paliwanag ko kahit 'di niya hinihingi. Inunahan ko na siya. "Wala namang masama ro'n, 'di ba? I didn't say anything controversial. We didn't do anything inappropriate."

"You know the ordeal that he and the USC—"

"Oh! Come to think of it!" Bigla akong napapalakpak kaya napaangat ang parehong balikat niya. "Makatutulong sa denial natin na nag-post ako ng gano'n! Walang makapagsasabi na may censorship dito sa theater dahil free akong nakapag-post ng video naming magkasama. 'Tapos dagdag mo pa 'yong pagsagot ko sa ilang questions ng entertainment media mamaya. We have the perfect cover and story!"

"Right." Mabagal siyang tumango kasabay ng paniningkit ng mga mata niya. "Just don't overdo it, especially if the situation gets worse for him."

"What if it gets better?" I flashed a confident smile.

Her lips twisted into a smirk. "We shall see."

Our confrontation ended there. Wala siyang evidence na magpapatunay na ako ang leak, 'tapos naiipit pa siya ngayon sa isang media issue. Mukhang nag-pay off ang isinugal ko no'ng isang araw.

As much as I wanted to savor this moment, 'di pa ako puwedeng mag-celebrate. I found a way to get around Priscilla's strict policies, pero hangga't 'di ko pa nagagamit ang opportunity na 'to para tulungan si Priam, I couldn't rest easy.

My phone buzzed repeatedly. Madali ko 'yong inilabas mula sa bulsa ko at chineck kung sino ang tumatawag. If it's one of the entertainment reporters, may permission na akong magsalita sa kanila. But to my surprise, it's someone else. Someone way better than those gossipmongers.

"Hello, Yam?" bati ko pagkasagot sa tawag. Lumayo muna ako kay Colin. "Mabuti't napatawag ka?"

"Are you okay, Yen? Rowan showed me the livestream earlier. I saw you being harassed by those—"

"Don't worry about me!" I tried to make my tone as reassuring as possible. "I'm perfectly okay, and everything worked out well."

"Are you sure? Because I can do something about it, but only if you want."

"Again, 'wag mo na akong alalahanin, okay? Baka mas mapasama ka pa kapag may ginawa ka. Just focus on the trial. Ako na'ng bahala rito sa theater. Trust me!"

Nagkaroon ng ilang segundo ng katahimikan sa kabilang linya. Akala ko'y na-disconnect na ang call.

"If you say so. Basta kung may nanggugulo sa iyo o kung naba-violate na ang personal space mo, just let me know."

'Di naiwasang kumurba ng mga labi ko. "Hearing you concerned about me is enough. I do appreciate it."

"Just take care, okay? And let me know if there's anything I can help you with."

"You take care too! See you around." Ibinaba ko na ang tawag.

If I had any real power to turn the tide for Priam, I wouldn't think twice of using it to help him. The cunning Castiel could be wrong about my voice mattering to the students and having any weight at all in political issues. But he might be right about my influence. Well, we'd see in the coming days kung magagamit ko 'yon.

♕

NEXT UPDATE: A last-ditch effort to save the USC.