CASTIEL

THE NEW year had arrived, but I remained trapped in the past year's sorrow. Losing my sister and nearly losing my friend scarred me deeply. It left an unfillable void in my heart. The sadness, guilt, and regret threatened to consume me entirely. I managed to pull myself out of it, but just barely.

I felt uncertain about everything. In recent weeks, I had merely existed rather than truly lived. I occupied space and breathed air, but my interest in life had waned. What was the point of my existence anyway? If it were not for the pain it would cause my parents, I might have considered drastic measures.

My family was not the only ones affected, even nearly everyone around me. I ran away from the USC, skipped my classes, and isolated myself at home. Yet, my friends refused to give up on me, despite me repeatedly ignoring them. Halos araw-araw ay nakatatanggap ako ng message mula sa kanila. Fabienne checked on me regularly, despite everything I did to her. Priam also inquired abut my well-being, despite the mess that I had put him through.

Priam... The guilt had been eating me up since the day he was stabbed at the campus fair. When I heard the news that he had regained consciousness, Cassidy's tragic fate haunted me. Nagising na nga siya, ngunit baka iminulat niya lamang ang kaniyang mga mata para magpaalam sa amin. The pain of losing my sister cut so deep, I could not bear the thought of experiencing such trauma again and shattering my now fragile heart into thousands of pieces.

One December afternoon, when I met them at my sister's grave, I could not hold back my emotions any longer. I broke down in tears before them.

"I'm sorry, Priam! I'm so sorry! Please forgive me. Please!"

"It's alright. You do not need to apologize anymore."

"No! It's my fault kung bakit may masamang nangyari sa yo. If it weren't for me—"

"I do not blame you for what happened, so stop blaming yourself, okay? Ang importante'y buhay pa ako."

"I'm so so sorry! Please forgive me."

At that moment, all I wanted was ask for forgiveness and set things right. Wala na akong ibang mas gugustuhin pa sa mundo kundi marinig na napatawad na niya ako. Handa akong gawin ang lahat para doon. Priam's words offered some solace to my wounded soul, but they were not enough to mend my broken heart.

Last year's Christmas and New Year celebrations marked the first time without Cassidy at home. Two years ago, we celebrated with her, but in her hospital room. Ang sakit-sakit, hindi lamang para sa akin, ngunit lalo na sa mga magulang ko na salubungin ang Pasko at Bagong Taon na may kulang sa mesa namin. There used to be four of us during Noche Buena and Media Noche at the dining table. The empty chair was a stark reminder that our family would never be whole again. It would never be the same.

My heart was torn between feeling a bit relieved or deeply hurt. On one hand, Cassidy was already at peace now, and my family could start to move on from hoping that one day, she would come back to us. On the other hand, Cassidy was robbed of her future, and my family could not accept the fact that she was gone too soon.

I spent the next few weeks soul-searching, trying to decide what to do next. Cassidy was the reason why I did what I did over the past year. Without her, I was an adventurer without a compass. Without the hope of seeing her smile again, I was a sailor lost at sea without a map.

Then the answer came to me on New Year's Day. Nakakulong ako sa kuwarto nang may kumatok sa gate namin at tumawag sa aming apelyido. Curious, I left my room and checked the person at our gate. He was a delivery rider who came to our house to deliver some food. My mom and dad were not the type to order online, especially from a high-end restaurant. Wala rin kaming perang pambayad sa mga 'yon.

"Baka nagkamali kayo, Kuya?" tanong ko sa lalaking nag-deliver. "Walang mag-o-order sa amin ng ganyang food."

"Seville kayo, 'di ba? Para sa inyo nga ang mga 'to."

"Baka may ibang Seville dito sa area namin at sila talaga ang hanap n'yo."

"Sir, address n'yo ang nakalagay rito, eh."

"Pero wala kaming in-order na ganyan."

"May nag-order para sa inyo."

Ipinakita niya sa akin ang resibo kung saan nakalagay ang pangalan ng nag-book. Eliseo... My eyes glared daggers at the name. I almost crumpled that piece of paper in my hand. How dare they...

"Hindi namin tatanggapin ang mga 'yan, Kuya," matapang kong sagot.

"Huh? Sayang ang mga 'to, Sir! Mukhang masasarap pa naman ang pagkain."

"Kung gusto n'yo, sa inyo na ang mga 'yan. Paki-mark na lamang na delivered sa app n'yo, 'tapos iuwi n'yo sa inyo."

"Pero Sir..."

Ipinakita ko sa kaniya na seryoso ako sa pamamagitan ng matatalim kong mata. Napakamot siya ng pisngi bago may pinindot sa phone niya.

"Sir, maraming salamat po. Happy New Year sa inyo."

When I got back inside, my mom asked me what the rider wanted from us. I told her that the Eliseos ordered some food, and I refused to accept it. She did not utter a word. Even she would not take the food. Kahit mamatay kami sa gutom, hindi namin tatanggapin ang kahit anong pagkain mula sa pamilyang 'yon. Call it pride, but I would rather stand up to them than accept the bribe and make us forget about their crime.

That gesture from the Eliseos—which they probably thought was an act of kindness—rekindled the spark that had almost died down inside of me. For weeks, I was so focused on losing Cassidy that I almost forgot who was to blame for it. I finally got out of the dark tunnel of despair, and my vision was no longer limited.

I realized that I was wrong. We might have lost Cassidy, but we had not lost the reason to fight. I could no longer bring my sister back from the dead. But the least I could do was to bring her justice. Once more, the flickering spark inside me grew into a raging flame. My will to avenge Cassidy was probably as explosive and bright as the fireworks on New Year's Eve.

AFTER THE two-week holiday break, I returned to my shared unit in the university apartments. This room was also a bribe from the Eliseos. I wanted to do away with it, but why not take advantage of something free as I planned my revenge on them? That's what I had been telling myself almost every day, and that's what could make me sleep well at night.

The day before classes at Elysian University resumed, Priam also came back. I was happy to see him without his walker anymore. Our first day back to campus was a bit awkward. Naging emosyonal ang huling pagkikita namin nitong nakaraang taon. But the awkwardness dissipated the moment we shared dinner together.

"How are you feeling, Cas?" he asked. He brought a platter of pesto pasta cooked by his mom.

"A bit better," I answered with a forced smile. Admittedly, I missed having dinner with him. It had been almost three months since we last ate together. "Don't worry, I will feel much better soon. How about you?"

"I'm still undergoing physical therapy, but I'm almost back to my full strength." He clenched his right fist and showed me his bicep. Kumpara noong huli ko siyang nakita nang personal, mas nagkalaman na siya ngayon. "How about your leg?"

"This?" I slapped my left leg. "Paminsan-minsa'y namamanhid. Paminsan-minsa'y biglang sumasakit. I don't know if it has something to do with the weather."

"Have you been going to your therapy?"

"Since December, I haven't."

His eyes flicked down, a frown forming across his lips.

"But don't worry," I assured him. "Pupuntahan ko na ang therapist ko this month para matuloy na ang session namin. I want this leg to get better as soon as possible anyway."

"Are you coming back to the USC?" He eyed me intently. "The council is not the same without you."

I averted my gaze. Since I ran away from my press briefing, I had lain low from my council duties. Mahihirapan akong gumawa ng mga rational na desisyon kung may dinaramdam pa ako at pinapangunahan ako ng emosyon. I also did it to spare the USC from any embarrassment that I might bring to them. I had become too hostile, too aggressive.

If I had any regrets, it would be me not being to take down Alaric the Prick during my stint as acting president. If it weren't for the unfortunate turn of events, I would have managed to drag him into the dirt where he rightfully belonged.

"You do not have to return to the USC as soon as possible," Priam spoke again when I offered him only silence. "Kami na muna ang bahala sa council. You have also done your part during my absence."

"I will be back soon." I looked him straight in the eye. "Just give me some time to sort things out."

"Just take as much time as you need to recover. No pressure."

We continued eating until the platter was almost empty. The atmosphere in our room was gloomy, and it was probably because of me. I was wearing the melancholy of the past year like an armor and it was killing the mood.

"By the way," Priam put down his fork, "there is something I need to tell you."

I was leaning on the table with my forearms resting on the surface. My gaze flicked up to him as I took in a forkful of pasta. "What is it?"

"Yen and I are official."

I dropped my fork to my plate. Nahulog din mula sa bibig ko ang noodle na aking nginunguya. My eyes blinked at him in quick succession. Did I hear him right? "Yen as in Fabienne?"

He nodded firmly. "Who else?"

I leaned away from the table, wiping my lips with the table napkin. Really? I stared at the empty space as I process the information. "When did this happen? Why am I only hearing about it now?"

"We became official on New Year's Day," he recounted. "I wanted to let you know as soon as possible, but I thought that it might come across as insensitive given what you have been going through."

"New Year's Day?" I repeated. "Sinabayan n'yo ang putukan?"

His eyes narrowed. "I'm not sure what you exactly meant, but we confirmed our feelings for each other right after the countdown."

"Wow! Just wow!" For a moment, I forgot the sadness crippling me. "I can't tell which one is much harder to believe: The fact that you became official exactly on New Year's Day or the fact that you now have a girlfriend."

"It's probably something you can read from a fictional romance story."

My gaze lingered on him for almost a minute, my eyes blinking again. I was shocked but, at the same time, happy for him. We were talking about Fabienne here. She managed to keep up with him and change him in many ways. As her surname would suggest, she brought light to the grim and serious life of Priam Torres.

"Just to be clear," I raised both hands, "this isn't in my script."

"I know." He chuckled. "You even warned me not to fall for her."

"And you did, you bastard." I smirked before playfully punching his arm. "Kaya pala noong tinanong kita kung may pag-asa bang mahulog ka sa kaniya, hindi mo ako masagot nang deretso."

Kumibit-balikat siya at nabaling sa ibang direksiyon. "May mga bagay talaga na hindi mo agad napapansin. Mararamdaman mo na lamang kapag nandiyan na."

"I'm happy for you and Fab," I told him sincerely. "Now, you two will no longer be burdened by the need to pretend before the student body."

Would their relationship affect his performance as USC president and his chances at reelection? Well, that's up to him. Ayaw ko nang makialam sa mga personal na desisyon niya. But I believed that he would still be the same Priam—if not better—who came into office at the start of Academic Year 2021-2022.

FOR THE first week of the new year, I wore my white Psychology uniform. Ibang-iba na ang pakiramdam habang suot ko'yon. When I was wearing the USC's maroon blazer, I always stood out. Laging may napasusulyap sa akin. But with my course uniform? I felt like a leaf in a forest. Wala nang masyadong pumapansin sa akin maliban sa mga kakilala at kaklase ko. And that felt so good.

But I knew my invisibility would not last long. I needed to return to the frontlines and continue the war that I had started. For Priam. For Cassidy. And for my own peace.

So today, after almost a month of not wearing the blazer hanging in my cabinet, I decided to put it on again. I pinned the brooch on the lapel, a symbol that I was part of the council. I straightened my golden necktie in front of the mirror and turned around to check my appearance. I had lost weight over the past two months, but I was slowly regaining it.

It's time to be back in the game.

I tapped my student ID on the sensor beside the USC office's door. It slid open for me, allowing me inside. My cane clacked continuously as I walked past the lounge. The three junior officers on the couches—Mignonette, Reginald, and Daphne—followed me with their gaze as I headed toward the aquarium. My fellow officers at the conference table stood to greet me, eyes widened and jaws slackened as if they had seen a ghost.

"Cas!" they exclaimed in unison, except the president.

"Good afternoon," I greeted everyone in the room. "Sorry kung late ako sa meeting. I hope I didn't miss much."

"Welcome back, Mr. Vice President," Priam greeted warmly, extending his hand as he gesturing to the seat beside him. His smile had widened noticeably since he and Fabienne became an item. "We are just getting started."

Aside from the USC—now complete—three familiar faces were present at the meeting.

"Hello, Cas. It's been a while," Avrille Mae Padilla greeted me. I had forgiven her for her threats during our last LEXECOM session together. I preferred leaving last year's hurts behind rather than carrying them into the new year. "It's good to see you again. I hope you're doing well."

"Thank you, Avi. I've never been better," I replied, acknowledging her and her two companions. "Hello there, Toni and Elle. It's great to have you join us. So, where are we?"

"I've just reintroduced our party to Priam." Avrille motioned to the attentive president. "Now, we're about to get to the heart of this meeting."

Today was the scheduled meeting between the USC—particularly Priam—and representatives from SALVo. I timed my return to coincide with this discussion because it could potentially pivot Priam's reelection bid. I could not afford to be absent during this crucial moment. I must be there for him.

"We've been allies since the beginning of your term, even though you're not part of our party," Avrille began. "We've found common ground in the fact that Alaric and his party's policies aren't the best for the student body. Given our history, I thought, 'why not formalize this by inviting you to join us'?"

SALVo had always been second to AEGIS, but their connections and resources would significantly bolster Priam's campaign. During the last election, Priam and I had considered joining them, but they had already chosen a candidate, making us temporary rivals. I had employed every tactic to ensure my candidate garnered more votes than theirs. Thankfully, my strategy paid off.

"We're seriously considering you as our standard-bearer in the upcoming elections," Avrille continued. "If you decide to join us, we will endorse you as our nominee. But if you decline, we will field our own nominee."

"That is quite an enticing offer," Priam said before turning to me. "What do you think, Cas? You were my campaign manager before."

I took a deep breath, crossing my arms. "A two-way race is better than a three-way race. If Priam your candidate run at the same time, we risk splitting votes because we share similar policies. That would only pave the way for President Alaric Esteban." I almost puked at the mere mention of his name.

"That's why we need to strategize." Avrille nodded decisively. "They say politics is about addition. Kailangan nating magsanib-puwersa kaysa mag-agawan ng boto mula sa isa't isa."

"Do you have any conditions?" Priam steepled his fingertips. "I doubt you would offer me the nomination on a silver platter without a catch."

Avrille exchanged glances with her companions first. "You will be our presidential candidate, but we reserve the right to choose your runningmate."

Priam glanced sideways at me, prompting me to speak up. "That sounds reasonable."

"We believe it is—"

"But we disagree," I cut Avrille off, causing everyone to turn toward me. "If Priam is going to be the party's nominee, he must choose his runningmate. It certainly won't be me, as we agreed that I would only serve as his VP for this term."

"You're asking for too much." Avrille forced a smile. "We're already offering you the presidential nomination. Letting us decide on the VP slot is fair."

"Remind me again, who requested this meeting?" I turned to the president. "Who approached us for an alliance?"

"Them." Prim nodded toward our guests.

I fixed my gaze back on them. "Priam and his runningmate can run independently and still have a good chance of winning again. You're the ones seeking an alliance with us. You don't get to dictate the terms."

"We would feel more comfortable if we also had a say in our party's candidates," Avrille argued. "And no offense, Cas, you need us as much as we need you."

"That may be true," I conceded with a slow nod. "But we have the advantage of the incumbency, the sympathy of the student body, and the love for the First Lady. Our chances of winning this year are higher than last year."

The three delegates exchanged nervous glances. They clearly had not anticipated us turning the tables on them. If I had not been here, they might have gotten what they wanted.

"Let us know once you have made a decision," I said firmly, then turned to Priam. "Mr. President, I have stated my stance."

"Please inform us as soon as possible." He checked his watch and stood up. "Apologies, but we have other matters to attend to."

"You'll hear from us soon."

The three SALVO delegates excused themselves and left the conference room. I watched them until they were out of sight. The rest of us then rose from our seats.

"Now that's settled," Rowan clapped once, "let's welcome back our VP!"

My colleagues in the aquarium applauded. May awkwardness na namuo sa akin. Parang birthday ko ngayong araw, 'tapos kinakantahan ako ng Happy Birthday. I was not sure how to react.

"Welcome back, Cas." Lavinia offered her hand, which I shook firmly. "Alam kong intense ang huling pag-uusap natin, pero alam ko ring may dahilan ka para gawin 'yon."

"I'm sorry for everything during that time," I replied, a tinge of remorse crossing my face. "Looking back, I wish I could handled things differently."

"Iwan na natin 'yon sa nagdaang taon. What's important is moving forward and making the most of our remaining months in office."

Sunod na humarap sa akin si Sabrina. Binati niya ako ng "welcome back" at saka siya napayuko na parang siya pa ang may atraso.

"Sorry, Sab," I whispered, embracing her. "I know I let you down. I wish it didn't have to be this way."

"It's okay, Cas. Naiintindihan ko. Maiintindihan namin," nahihiyang sagot niya. "Ang mahalaga'y nandito ka na ulit."

After releasing her from the hug, I turned to our treasurer. "Tabby, I'm sorry for leaving you alone during my time as acting president."

"May atraso ka pa sa 'kin kaya 'di kita iha-hug." Tabitha rolled her eyes playfully. "But welcome back."

"Rowan!" I called out to our PIO. Lumapit siya sa akin para yakapin ako at marahang tapikin sa likod. "I regret what happened—"

"Marami ka nang atraso sa 'min kaya sanay na kami," tugon niya nang pinakawalan na niya ako. His face was serious at first, but then he brightened up and chuckled. "Joke lang! Let bygones be bygones, okay?"

"Thank you," I said, my voice cracking slightly. I looked at each member of the council apologetically. "I promise to do better this time."

"At dahil bumalik na si Cas, mukhang may welcome back party na naman tayo mamaya!" anunsiyo ni Rowan. "Isabay na rin natin ang late New Year celebration! Tabby, you know what to do!"

"Bahala kayo riyan." Lumabas na ng conference room ang treasurer namin. Sinundan siya ni Rowan, pilit na kinukumbinse sa ideya niya. Sumunod na rin sina Lavinia at Sabrina na may pinag-uusapan tungkol sa isa pang agenda.

"Were we too demanding on them?" Priam asked me. We were the last to leave the conference room, walking slowly toward our cubicles.

"Them? Our officers?"

"SALVo."

I shook my head. "We're just showing them our true worth. Well, your worth since you're the one running. They will come around. Trust me."

"Let's see," Priam said, giving me a pat on the back. "Anyway, it's good to have you back, Cas."

"Thank you, Mr. President."

It had been a while since I visited my cubicle, but I never missed it—not even for a moment. Yet, there was something in there I treasured dearly. Nilapitan ko ang aking desk at kinuha ang retratong naka-frame. It was my last picture with Cassidy. Pressing it close to my chest, I shut my eyes for a few seconds.

I won't forget what he did to you, Cassie.

After placing it back on the desk, I left my cubicle. Sunod kong pinuntahan ang puwesto ng aming treasurer. She did not show it earlier, but maybe she had missed me... or not.

Knock! Knock!

"What is it this time?" Tabitha asked without raising her eyes from her keyboard. Nasanay na ako na parang wala siya sa mood palagi. Her fingers danced across the keys, typing away.

"I've missed you, too," I replied, limping toward her desk. Only when my shadow fell over the surface did she look up at me. "Are you available later tonight?"

"For what?" Her left brow raised. "If you're inviting me out on a date, it's a no. You're not my type."

"I'm planning to capture an enemy's important piece," I corrected the wrong idea in her head. Why would I be interested in dating her? "And I need you to make it happen."

Her fingers froze. "An important piece, huh?"

TABITHA AND I met again around eight o'clock at the Business and Accountancy building. Nataon na wala siyang klase sa mga oras na ito kaya nasamahan niya ako. Hindi mawawala ang kaniyang mga hinaing, gaya kung bakit ko ginulo ang schedule niya ngayong gabi. I ignored her rants and endured them as we waited for the night classes to end.

When the bell finally rang, we positioned ourselves in front of a classroom. As soon as we spotted our target, I nudged Tabitha in the arm.

"Go," I whispered urgently.

She clicked her tongue. "Bakit 'di ikaw? Idea mo 'to."

"Go now!" I nearly raised my voice.

"Priscilla?" Tabitha called out to her. Kailangan pa talaga niyang pilitin minsan.

Priscilla Mercado, the former campaign manager of AEGIS' disqualified presidential candidate, squinted at us. She would recognize us instantly because of our maroon blazers. We were probably the last people she wanted to see today... or any day.

"Ano'ng kailangan ng USC sa 'kin?" nayayamot niyang tanong. "Kung anuman 'yan, pakibilisan dahil may group study pa kami after nito."

I stepped forward, cane clacking against the floor, until we stood face to face. "We're here to talk about Candice Delavin... and the truth about her disqualification."

"Candice?" she scoffed. "How dare you mention her name!"

"I'm also Candice's friend," Tabitha interjected, her tone now calm and soothing. Nawala ang pagtataray niya. "I think you're directing your anger at the wrong people."

"Wrong people? Kung may dapat sisihin sa nangyari sa kaniya, walang iba kundi si Priam at ang campaign team nito—"

"You're mistaken," Tabitha cut her off. "Priam Torres isn't to blame. It's Alaric Esteban."

"A-Alaric?! What nonsense are you talking about?"

"He knew Candice didn't meet the eligibility requirements," Tabitha revealed, "but he convinced her to run anyway."

"Convinced her?!" Priscilla's jaw dropped. "W-what are you saying?"

"The truth." 

♔

NEXT UPDATE: Is the end near for Alaric the Prick?