#PTG20 Chapter 20

My entire body felt like it was on fire. I could feel my breathing getting heavier as each seconds ticked. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang munting panginginig ng bawat daliri ko.

"Where are you, Jax?" I whispered as I desperately tried to keep my system still. It has been exactly two hours since I last saw him. I knew that his exam today was hard... but I was sure that what I said to him motivated him to answer faster.

God. Nine months. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala... Before, I would already be over the moon kahit tumingin lang siya sa direksyon ko. Kapag kinausap niya ako? Damn. I'd repeat that scenario inside my head like a broken record. Kabisado ko lahat ng sinabi niya sa akin dati. Bawat salita, bawat paghinto—lahat 'yun permanenteng naka-marka sa isip ko. Ganoon ko siya ka-gusto.

Tapos ngayon... Nine months.

Dreams do come true. I was glad I never thought about giving up on my dreams. Because now? Now, he's my reality.

Nang hindi na ako mapakali, naisipan kong tumayo. Pilit kong inaayos iyong mga gamit na naka-patong kahit na maayos naman lahat ng iyon. I just needed to do something. I needed to calm my nerves dahil anumang segundo ay parang tuluyan na akong mapuputulan ng hininga.

I was in the middle of rearranging the plates when the sound of the door swinging open made my heart jolt. Agad akong napa-tingin sa pinanggalingan ng tunog na iyon.

And there he was.

I tried to call his name, but no word came out of my mouth. My lips parted at the sight of him. He was merely standing, but even from a safe distance, I sensed danger.

"Katherine," tawag niya sa pangalan ko. His eyes breathed fire when he saw me wearing his jacket. I was only wearing his jacket and my hair was in a bun.

"H-Hi," I said, barely able to pronounce the word. Ramdam ko ang pagtaas ng balihibo sa bawat sulok ng katawan ko. Biglang nanuyo ang lalamunan ko. Pakiramdam ko ay malalagutan na ako ng hininga kung subukan niyang humakbang palapit sa akin.

"Nasaan iyong mga tao sa labas?" mababa ang boses na tanong niya.

"N-Nanood ng concert... M-Mamayang madaling-araw pa iyong balik nila..." mahina kong sagot. Sa paraan ng pagtingin niya sa akin? Parang gusto ko na lang mapaupo sa sahig.

"You planned all these," he said, looking around and saw a picnic set on the floor. I could still remember when he told me before that he never experienced going to picnics. Both his parents were busy. Ako rin. Parehong busy ang mga magulang ko. So, I decided to do this for us. We could do things we wanted together. Because now, we're not alone anymore. We have each other now.

I nodded. "I told you... I have two gifts."

Jax's jaw clenched. And when he took a step closer, halos mapaupo ako sa sobrang panginginig ng tuhod ko.

"I think for the first time, I failed an exam," he said, taking another step, making me shiver.

"H-Ha?"

Hindi na siya muling nagsalita pa. Patuloy ang paghakbang niya hanggang huminto siya sa harapan ko. My entire body was shaking, but my eyes wouldn't leave his face. I wanted to reach to touch him, but I knew that the little shivers in my body would betray me.

This was his effect on me.

Sobra.

Nakaka-hilo.

Nakaka-tuliro.

"My head... it wouldn't stop repeating the words you said," he breathed, and then took another step closer. He was close... so close. "You really know how to mess with my head, you know that?" he asked as he held my chin and lifted my face so that my eyes would meet his.

"S-sorry?" I said, but his stares were so sharp that it could cut my skin. Hindi pa rin ako maka-hinga dahil sa paraan ng pagtingin niya sa akin. Gusto kong humakbang palayo, pero hindi ako maka-galaw. It was like he has taken complete control over my system... and I had no qualms about it.

With Jax, I was willing to relinquish everything. Because I knew that he'd always take care of me. Because I knew that he loves me.

"H-Hindi ka ba talaga naka-sagot dahil sa sinabi ko?" nanghihina ang tuhod na tanong ko. I said those words because I wanted to encourage him to answer faster. For nine months, I contented myself with just kissing him. But I was getting more and more selfish. I wanted more. I wanted all of him.

He tucked a portion of my hair behind my ear. His eyes were still on mine; his stares felt like they were telling a story that only the two of us knew.

"No, not how I usually fare in exams," he replied.

I bit my lower lip and lowered my gaze. "I'm sorry..." I whispered, but Jax quickly held my chin up and made me look at him.

"No, no apologies, Katherine," he breathed.

"But you'll fail—"

"I won't."

"Sabi mo—"

"God, let's stop talking already," he said before he slammed his lips against mine. Napa-tigil ako sa paghinga nang maramdaman ko iyong labi niya sa labi ko. This kiss... it was different from all the other kisses we shared. I could feel the urgency, the need, the hunger.

Hindi ako maka-hinga sa paraan ng paghalik niya.

Jax attacked my lips so viciously until I felt the wall against my back. His hands were all over my body. Every time his fingers touch my skin, I felt like burning. Every time I could feel his breath against my skin, I felt like scorching.

"W-Wait," I said when his lips left my sore lips. Hinahalikan niya iyong leeg ko pababa sa dibdib ko.

"What," he grunted as his hands roamed against the side of my waist and my back.

"H-Happy birthday," I said.

He stopped. Pareho kaming hinihingal. Paraheong naka-tingin sa mata ng isa't-isa.

"Happy birthday, Juan Alexandro Castillano Yuchengco... My Attorney," I said through my labored breathing. I reached for his cheek and caressed it with my thumb. A small smile appeared on my face. "I know it's your birthday... but I felt like it's mine... and you're the best gift I have ever received."

Nagtataas-baba ang dibdib niya dahil sa lalim ng paghinga. Nanatiling nasa akin ang tingin niya.

"I love you," I continued.

He cupped my face and planted a kiss on my lips. He broke the kiss, but I chased his lips. And then we kissed. God, this was so addicting.

"I..." he said as we were kissing each other. His hands were unzipping oversized jacket I was wearing—his jacket. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang panginginig ng kamay niya. I held his hand and helped him unzip it.

"Don't be nervous," I said as I helped him pull the zipper down. "It's all yours, Juan Alexandro."

I wasn't wearing anything underneath. Kitang-kita ko kung paano umawang ang labi ni Jax nang makita niya iyon.

"Happy birthday," I said with a wink as I stepped outside of the only article of clothing that I was wearing. I wasn't embarrassed. Jax never made me feel embarrassed about my body... or about anything else. He always told me he loves me and always told me that I'm beautiful. Maybe that's the reason why with him, I was shameless... because he always made me feel confident. 

"Fuck, I love you so much," he said before he grabbed my hair and closed the distance between our lips. Jax kept on kissing me until he lifted me up and made me sit on the edge of the desk. I wrapped my legs around his waist and let myself get drowned in the sea of sensation that he was making me feel.

I could feel my skin shivering because of the cold air touching my naked skin. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that he was still fully dressed and I was wearing nothing. Mabilis kong hinatak pataas iyong damit niya. I fucking pulled his belt and kicked his pants down.

"W-Wait," I said as I finally got him naked. Nanginginig ang kamay kong inabot ang katawan niya. My fingers were trembling as I began to touch his naked skin. My breathing hitched. "Please tell me you're only mine..."

"You know I'm yours," he replied. I could feel him shaking as he let my fingers wander around his torso. I took my time. Damn, I waited for this day for so long. I loved him for so long. Pababa nang pababa ang daliri ko nang hulihin ni Jax iyon. Umiling siya.

"No?" I asked, pouting.

"No," he said.

"I thought you agreed that you're mine? That includes... that," I said, pointing at his lower member that was saluting. I bit my lower lip as I turned to look at him.

He closed his eyes as if he was trying to extend more of his patience. Alam ko na napipikon na naman siya sa akin kaya tumawa ako.

"I'm sorry," I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. I planted a kiss on his lips. "No more teasing," I continued, kissing him again. I was about to say another word, but he cut me off by deepening the kiss. His hands began to knead my breasts, then soon after, his lips followed. Palalim nang palalim ang hininga ko habang hinahalikan niya ako doon. I almost lost it when I felt his teeth tugging the tips of my breasts.

"Jax, please..." I groaned when he stayed there. My breasts felt sore from all the action they were getting. I pulled his head up and kissed him again. "Jax, kunin mo na 'yung birthday gift mo, please?"

He groaned. "Katherine."

"Please?" I wrapped my legs tighter around his waist and pulled him closer. My mouth widened when I felt his thing. Fuck. This was fucking real.

I thought he was gonna argue with me like he usually does, but my eyes widened when I felt a piercing pain in my center. Napaawang ang labi ko. Damn Jax! Wala man lang pasintabi!

"That ought to shut you up," he said.

"What the fuck?!" sigaw ko nang maramdaman na hindi pa pala lahat 'yun! I took a peek, and it was just... God, a whole lot more was yet to come, pero sobrang naiiyak na ako sa sakit!

Jax, being so fucking annoying, laughed. "I'm sorry," he said, caressing my cheek. "I'll be gentle, promise."

I nodded, wiping the lone tear that fell from my eye. "Dahan-dahan lang, please?" sabi ko habang nararamdaman iyong sakit. "Ihahampas ko 'tong RPC kapag hindi ka nagdahan-dahan," dugtong ko habang pilit na humihinga nang malalim. One of my hand was clutching on his shoulder while the other was leaning against the table.

He nodded. "Yes, I promise," he said. "I'll inch in again, okay?" tanong niya.

"O-okay," sagot ko habang ramdam ko iyong pagdadahan-dahan niya. Palalim nang palalim iyong hininga ko. "God, this really hurt so bad."

I saw guilt crossing his eyes, but even before he could offer to stop and make me want to punch his stupid face, I cut him off.

"This is torture. Just push it all in," sabi ko.

"Katherine—" he said, but his lips and eyes went wide when I pulled him closer and finally got all of him inside. Fuck. I felt... I felt so full. I felt like he was stretching me so wide.

Naka-tingin kami ni Jax sa isa't-isa, hindi alam ang gagawin.

"So... what now?" tanong ko nang unti-unting nawawala iyong sakit. Hindi siya naka-sagot. "Jax? Ano na next?" I asked again, but he looked panicked as well. "Wait... is this your first time as well?"

Hindi siya sumagot.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko.

"Akala... akala ko—" I said, but even before I could continue talking, he shut me up by thrusting. I held onto his shoulders because of how hard he was thrusting. Parang galit. "Sorry na!" sigaw ko. "There's no shame in being a virgin!"

"You and your smart mouth," he said through gritted teeth as he plunged deeper and deeper. Halos mapa-pikit ako sa nararamdaman ko, pero mas nanaig iyong pagka-gusto ko na tuksuhin si Jax.

"I may not be your first crush, your first girlfriend, not even your first kiss..." I said, but he was thrusting faster and faster until I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore. He was thrusting so hard like his life depended on it.

"Oh, shit," sigaw ko. My head was leaning against his shoulder and I bit him there. He was ramming so hard and my heart followed suit. Wala na akong magawa kung hindi ang kumapit kung saan.

"Oh, my god..." hingal ko nang matapos kaming dalawa. We were both panting so hard; beads of sweat running down in every inch of our body. I wanted to run my fingers in his hair that was now damp from all the activities we did.

"I'm sorry that you're not my first crush, my first girlfriend, not even my first kiss..." he said, looking straight into my eyes. "But all my other firsts? Consider them all yours, Katherine. I'm yours. I promise."