#PTG19 Chapter 19

They were right when they said that time flies fast when you're having fun. Parang kailan lang, kakasimula ko lang pumasok sa law school. Parang kailan lang, tinititigan ko lang si Jax mula sa malayo. Akalain mo 'yun? Finals na next week! I was one week away from ending my first year in law school!

Jax made everyday really special for me. Alam mo 'yun? He could literally exert minimal effort and I'd feel maximum happiness. Kahit nga puntahan niya lang ako sa bahay tapos mag-aaral kami ng sabay, sobrang saya ko na talaga nun! Tapos nung first monthsary namin, he surprised me with flowers sa school. Alam kong hiyang-hiya siya na may dalang bouquet pero dahil pinaringgan ko talaga siya nang todo, binigyan niya talaga ako. Love talaga ako niyang tao na 'yan, e.

Hindi kami magkasama nung Christmas dahil may pre-planned na iyong family niya na out of the country trip nila. It was extended until before school resumed. But even with the distance between us, he still managed to make my year.

"What time is it there?" he asked.

"2 minutes to midnight. Ano'ng ginagawa mo d'yan?" I asked. I was spending the New Year's Eve alone. My parents were supposed to accompany me dahil kasama naman sila nung family nila nung Christmas. But of course, they bailed on me. Mabuti na lang hindi umuwi sila Manang... I would hate to spend the holidays alone... but ano'ng choice ba ang meron ako?

"Grocery. Magluluto daw sila mamaya. Nandyan naman sila Manang, 'di ba?" he asked. Medyo maingay sa end of his line. Busy siguro sa New York.

I nodded although he couldn't see me. Sabi niya kasi magfacetime daw kami, but I thought I'd cry kapag nakita ko 'yung mukha niya. There's really something about the holidays that was making me melancholic.

"Yeah... I kinda feel guilty kasi naka-sched na talaga 'yung uwi nila sa province, but when they learned na 'di na naman tuloy sila Papa, they cancelled their sched for me..." I said, sighing. "But let's not talk about that anymore. Uuwi ka naman na sa 3, 'di ba?"

I heard him sigh. "Yeah... I'm sorry you have to be alone."

"I'm not," I replied. "Ang ganda ng fireworks dito," I said as I stared at the colorful sky. Mas ma-e-enjoy ko talaga 'to kung nandito sila Mama. It's been an awful time with them. Balak ko sanang magsorry kasi ayoko naman na tapusin iyong year na ganito. But they bailed.

"Happy New Year, Jax!" I greeted when the clock officially struck 12. Sobrang lakas ng mga putok sa labas. I was walking back inside when I halted. Medyo pinikit ko pa iyong mga mata ko dahil hindi ko sigurado kung nasobrahan lang ba ako sa lungkot kaya nagmamanifest na siya sa harapan ko.

"Are you really here?" naguguluhan na tanong ko nang makita ko si Jax na naka-tayo sa harapan ko. My whole face was probably confused. He's in New York! Bakit biglang nandito siya?!

"Happy New Year, Katherine," he said.

My lips were still parting. "H-happy New Year... But... how are you here?" I asked.

"Cut the trip short. I can't bear the idea of you spending New Year alone," he said, tousling my hair. "Can I crash for a few minutes? I literally just landed a few minutes ago."

"O-okay..."

I started to walk inside, but he pulled me close and cupped my face. I felt his lips on mine. Agad akong napa-pikit nang maramdaman kong gumalaw ang labi niya. I hitched my breath. God, I love it when he kisses me. Nawawala ako sa sarili ko.

"You're the best part of my year, Katherine. I love you."

And that was when I realized that there's no way I'd ever recover from loving Juan Alexandro. Wala na. He really set the standard way too high.

* * *

Few days from the finals, mas lalo kong nararamdaman iyong pressure. Wala pang lumalabas na grades, so hindi ko pa alam kung ano ang mangyayari sa akin after first year. Nagpaparamdam na naman sila Mama na magtrabaho na lang ako, but I was still having a good time. Law school was hard, but I liked what I was doing. And hanggang hindi ako kinikickout, kakapit ako sa school.

"Alam mo ba, 'di na naman daw nagsend iyong text sa akin about dun sa balita na wala palang class kahapon. Nakaka-pikon na talaga 'yung si Faith," reklamo ko habang naka-patong iyong ulo ko sa lap ni Jax. He was reading something for his ATP class. Kakatapos ko lang magreview sa Ethics class ko.

"I told you to ask Deanne to forward all announcements."

"Sinabi ko na. Kaya lang nakaka-inis kaya. 'Di ko talaga alam bakit 'di nila ako gusto. Nagtry naman ako... I mean, kahit nga awkward for me, sumama ako sa bloc Christmas party para naman ma-feel nila na nagri-reach out naman ako! Ugh! Naiinis ako sa mga classmate ko. Nakakainis silang lahat!" I fumed as I started to flip through the pages of my book.

Jax remained silent, but after a good minute of me ranting, he finally broke his silence.

"If you think there's something wrong with everyone else, doesn't that make you wonder if maybe you're the problem?" Jax asked.

I frowned. "So, you think—"

"No. I mean, it's statistically impossible for all your classmates to be annoying. I'm just saying... law school is a small community. Hindi pwede na marami kang ayaw na tao," he said, caressing my hair.

I pouted. "Iyong mga babae lang naman ayaw sa akin... Okay naman ako sa mga guy classmates ko..." I said, and it was his turn to frown. Para talaga siyang allergic sa mga lalaki kong classmate. Inayos pa nga niya iyong sched namin para laging mas mauuna dismissal niya. Mas gusto niya raw kasi na siya iyong naghihintay kaysa sa akin.

"Basta. Kung ayaw nila sa akin, fine with me. 'Di ko naman sila kawalan. Basta sa sarili ko I know na wala akong ginagawa sa kanila."

Instead of saying anything, Jax just caressed my hair. I relaxed thereafter. He just knew when to talk and to share his silence. Ayaw niya kasing ginagatungan ako lalo na kapag badtrip na ako sa classmates ko. Wala naman daw magagawang maganda kapag pareho kaming inis.

"Jax..." I said. I was staring at his face. I puckered my lips. "Inaantok ako."

Agad siyang yumuko para tignan ako. Akala ko may sasabihin pa siya, pero ang bilis niyang ibinaba iyong mukha niya. He planted a quick kiss on my lips. "Feeling better?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Isa pa."

He kissed me again. "Okay na?"

"Hmm... Isa pa?"

But instead of heeding to my request, pinisil niya lang iyong ilong ko. I frowned. "Mag-aral ka na."

I sat down. "Tsk. Minsan na nga lang maglambing..." nagtatampo na sabi ko, pero binuksan ko na iyong libro ko. Nasusuka na kasi ako sa inaaral ko. I was already burned out from all the studying that I was starting not to care. Iyon bang feeling na bahala na? I was starting to feel that.

And it's scary. I liked it more when I was frightened because that was forcing me to double my effort... hindi iyong kagaya nito na parang wala na akong pakielam.

* * *

When finals came, sobrang busy namin pareho ni Jax na nag-usap kami na 'di muna kami magkikita for a week. It was fine. Ni hindi ko na nga rin napansin dahil ganoon ka-grabe iyong mga inaaral ko.

"Birthday na ni Jax," Deanne said.

I nodded. "I know," I said as I was trying to cram last minute review for Oblicon.

"May gift ka na?"

I nodded. "Yes. Binili ko na before. Alam ko na magiging busy ngayon," sabi ko. Napagalitan pa nga ako nila Mama nung malaman nila kung ano iyong binili ko. But it was my own money. I'd spend it the way I see fit.

"Haaay. Ang sarap talaga ng may lovelife. At least ikaw may yayakapin mamaya kapag officially tapos na iyong exam natin," Deanne said.

I laughed. "Try mo si Iñigo?"

"Tsk. Ikaw kaya crush nun!"

"Baliw. He knows na may boyfriend ako."

"I know! Kakabilib din 'yung isang 'yun, e! Tibay ng feelings sa 'yo, from first to second sem, sobrang solid!" sabi niya kaya napailing na lang ako. Iñigo knew that we're just friends—paulit-ulit kong sinasabi sa kanya 'yun.

And it's not as if ako lang crush nun. Lagi ko kaya nakikita iba-iba kasamang babae nun! Daming chicks nun from med!

When the exam time came, sobrang daming malalim na hininga ang hinugot ko. Oblicon was my... nemesis. It was hard! Sobrang daming kailangang kabisaduhin! Feeling ko talaga itong subject na 'to ang papatay sa akin!

"Ready?" Iñigo asked.

I shook my head. "Kinakabahan ako."

"You answered the old exams?"

I nodded. "Yeah... but still."

"Kaya mo 'yan, Ms. Arellano," he said, smiling. "Basta kabisado mo 'yung mga articles, you'll be fine. Atty. Haleon favors verbatim articles," he said. Napa-ngiti ako kahit papaano. I really appreciate Iñigo. Sobrang bait niya talaga sa akin.

Hanggang sa dumating iyong proctor, kinakabahan lang ako. I took multiple deep breaths before I started the exam. Sinubukan kong sagutan sa abot ng makakaya ko, but damn, the exam was fucking deadly! Feeling ko bigla na lang tutulo ang luha ko habang nagsasagot ako.

I kept on recalling all the applicable articles kapag may gratuitous events, but damn, I memorized over 200 articles yata! Sobrang naghalo-halo na lahat ng words sa isip ko!

The exam was for two hours. An hour and half, lumabas na ako. Wala na kasi akong masagot. I just did the best that I could. I was walking mindlessly, until I bumped into someone.

"Hey..." Jax said.

I smiled. "Hey," I replied. Ngayon ko lang siya nakita buong linggo. Kapag kasi magsisimula na iyong exam niya, patapos pa lang ako.

"Stop crying," he said.

Agad akong napa-hawak sa mukha ko. Ngayon ko lang napansin na umiiyak na pala ako.

"I-I'm fine," I said, starting to heave upon the realization that I might have failed my finals in Oblicon. Ibig sabihin dalawa lang ang pwede kong kunin na subject next sem. Lagot ako kila Mama. They'd sure take this against me. Pipilitin nila ako na tumigil na sa pag-aaral.

Jax looked worried about me. He pulled me into a corner where no one's around. He cupped my face.

"Stop crying."

Pinupunasan ko iyong luha ko. "I'm trying," sabi ko habang humihikbi. "E-exam mo na, 'di b-ba?" putul-putol na sabi ko. "P-punta ka na 'dun."

"Stop crying first," he firmly said.

I bit my lower lip. "I-I can't," I said in between sobs.

Jax looked intently into my eyes. "Hey... It's okay. You'll pass."

Umiling ako. "Sobrang pangit nung mga sagot ko... Ibabagsak ako ni Atty..." sabi ko habang pabilis na naman nang pabilis iyong pagbagsak ng mga luha ko. Nakaka-hinayang. Nakaka-pagod. Na lahat nung pinaghirapan ko ngayong sem, parang mauuwi sa wala.

"What can I do?" nahihirapan na sabi niya.

Umiling ako, tapos may kinuha sa bag ko. "H-happy birthday, Jax," sabi ko habang inaabot sa kanya iyong box. "S-sorry n-ngayon lang kita nabati..."

Nanlaki iyong mga mata niya nang makita niya iyong regalo ko. "Katherine," he said, his voice laced with warning.

"Tanggapin mo na lang, please? At least sasaya ako kapag tinanggap mo..." sabi ko habang kagat iyong ibabang labi ko para tigilan ang paghikbi. Sumisikip pa rin iyong dibidb ko kapag naaalala ko kung paanong mauuwi sa wala lahat ng pagpupuyat na ginawa ko ngayong sem.

This was torture.

"I told you, just spend my birthday with me and it'll be fine," he said.

I nodded. "I know... but I want to give you this," I said, then got the box from his hand. Tinanggal ko iyong relo mula sa lalagyan, tapos sinuot ko sa kanya. "I knew this would look good on you," naka-ngiting sabi ko habang tinitignan iyong suot niyang Rolex Sea Dweller. "Happy birthday, Juan Alexandro."

"This is too much," he said.

"That's not your only gift," I said.

"Meron pa?"

I nodded, finally able to breathe properly.

"Remember when you said that the only gifts you want are me and my time?" I asked and he nodded. "Well, there's the time..." I said, pointing at the watch around his wrist. "As for me?" I asked, then planted a chaste kiss on the side of his lips.

"I'll be waiting for you later in the study room," I said, tapping his cheek. "Bilisan mong magsagot, okay?" sabi ko bago siya iniwan habang naka-tulala.