#PTG15 Chapter 15

"Sorry," I said for the tenth time as I took a respite in between the digests I was writing. Nagpromise kasi ako kay Jax na aalis kami ngayon, but I seemed to have forgotten na deadline na nga pala nung digests sa Monday. There's no time to rest, really!

"It's fine," he replied as he was helping me with my digests. Less than 24 hours and I still had sixty-eight to write. Nanginginig na talaga iyong mga kamay ko, but I couldn't stop because there's no time to stop! Sobrang na-guilty lang ako kasi instead na nagpapahinga si Jax from the exams, heto siya at parang nag-aaral pa rin dahil tinutulungan niya ako.

Sometimes, he's just too good.

Sabi nila, never meet your heroes... you'll be disappointed. But I think Jax could never disappoint me. Because I sincerely love everything about him. Good and bad. Both his endearing and annoying habits? I'd take all of them.

Ganon kasi talaga. I don't fall in love often... but when I do? I fall hard.

My Telegram pinged again. May sinend siyang bagong digests. Sinusulat ko iyong diretso sa paper. He already read the case for me, and typed the digest—kumbaga, isusulat ko na lang talaga. Grabe. Sobrang... hindi ko alam how the hell I'd survive law school without him.

"I promise babawi ako after this..." sabi ko habang dire-diretso pa rin sa pagsusulat. My hands were really shaking, but I had no choice. I had to write fast and legibly.

Jax didn't reply, tahimik lang siya sa pagta-type niya. We were silent in the middle of an otherwise busy coffee shop when someone made her presence known—actually, apat sila. Puro babae.

"Jax," sabi ni least favorite classmate.

I frowned. Really, ngayon pa ba? Busy ako! Wala akong time for her! Minamadali ko na nga 'tong digests ko para at least kung posible man lang, kahit dinner maka-go kami ni Jax, e!

Jax's eyes quickly left the screen. "What?" tanong niya.

God, ang ganda din nito. Bakit ba ang daming magagandang babae na lumalapit kay Jax?! Magaganda na, matatalino pa! Gosh, there's no way I should slack-off! Ang hirap ng mga kalaban ko, if ever! Buti na lang mukhang hooked na hooked na sa akin si Jax, so one point for Katherine!

"Nag-aaya bloc. Dinner plus inom later," Cha said.

"Pass. May ginagawa ako," Jax said, then quickly resumed to typing.

Mukhang nahalata yata nung mga kasama niya na medyo napahiya si Cha... Pero kasi bakit ba nila pinipilit si Jax? Gets ko naman na crush ni Cha si Jax... but hello? Invisible ba ako sa paningin nila?! Alam naman nila na may something sa amin ni Jax! Second classroom ko na nga classroom nila, e! Mga in denial na 'to!

"Wala namang class tomorrow sabi ni Atty. Z," sabi nung isang babae.

Another girl nodded in agreement. "Sige na, Jax? Sama ka naman sa 'min. Never ka pa kaya na sumama sa gala ng bloc..."

I saw Jax pursing his lips. It's a sign na naiinis na siya. Minsan ko lang 'to makita sa kanya kasi 'di naman siya madaling mainis talaga sa akin—to think na minsan, grabe na talaga iyong pang-iinis ko sa kanya! Haba talaga ng pasensya niya sa 'kin.

"Next time. May ginagawa ako," he reiterated.

The girl took a peak of Jax's screen. Agad na kumunot ang noo niya. "What's that? Digest? Wala namang digests tayo ngayon, ah?" she pondered out loud... only to realize na sa akin iyong digests na ginagawa ni Jax.

Sabay silang apat na napa-tingin sa akin. They didn't say a word, but I didn't think words were necessary to communicate what they were thinking. I didn't know why, but my heart started to beat erratically inside my chest. Why were they looking like that? Like I was using Jax? Like I was such a disappointment? Like I wasn't good enough?

God, I knew that look all too well. Sa parents ko pa lang palagi ko nang nakikita 'yan.

"Jax, sige, sama ka na sa kanila. Kaya ko na 'tong tapusin," I said, forcing a smile on my face. Maybe I was just tired. I didn't want to argue with them. And... and I didn't want to hold Jax back from doing anything that he wants. That's the last thing that I'd want to do.

But instead of heeding to my request, Jax turned his head towards his classmate. Annoyance was evident on his face—and it felt like he wasn't even trying to mask it off. It was like he wanted them to know that he didn't like what was happening.

"I'm busy," he said, slowly saying every word as if he wanted them to hear what he has been saying this whole time.

One of the girls gave us a sarcastic smile, then shrugged. "Doing someone's digest, sure," sabi niya.

I thought Jax would just let that go, but I was wrong. "She didn't ask me; I volunteered."

The girls looked taken aback by Jax's reply. Maging ako ay nagulat dahil ngayon ko lang narinig na maging ganito si Jax. He's always been nice to the people around him... but I guess it's true that even the nicest people have their limits.

Walang nagsalita sa aming anim. Hindi ko rin alam ang gagawin ko. This was... new. I never had someone who publicly fought for me. This felt... nice.

Jax had my back.

Ganito pala iyong pakiramdam.

"Oh..." she said. "Good for you two. Sige... Alis na kami."

They were gone so quick. Sobrang bilis nilang maka-labas sa pinto. Ako? Naiwan na naka-awang ang bibig. Hindi alam ang sasabihin. Hindi alam ang gagawin.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"For what?" he replied, his focus on the laptop again. He was quickly reading the cases that I was supposed to digest. His exams just ended. Dapat nagpapahinga siya... nagsasaya kagaya ng blocmates niya...

"You should've been with your classmates... Drinking... Having fun... but you're here, stuck with me," I said, hoping that the guilt was evident in my voice. Because I was really feeling guilty. Feeling ko sumusobra na ako minsan. Sa lahat ng bagay, tinutulungan niya ako. Bago ko pa man malaman na kailangan ko ng tulong, alam niya na agad. He's always there, guiding me every step of the way.

His eyes left the screen, and once again, they were on me.

Those eyes.

My favorite part of him.

"Do you seriously think that I'd rather go out and drink than to be here with you?" he asked, his eyes inviting me in a stare down. His eyes weren't backing down. Mabilis akong napa-lunok dahil sa intensidad ng pagtingin niya sa akin.

I bit my lower lip. I knew I'd never win with him. He's so good with words. He's so good with reasoning. But I'd try. Because I wanted him to know that if he wanted to do something, he should do it. I shouldn't be a stone that's pulling him down. I wanted to be the wings that made him fly.

"You deserve to rest."

"And you don't?" mabilis na balik-tanong niya sa akin.

"Hindi naman sa ganon... but this is my responsibility. I don't want you to think that I'm obliging you to do this for me."

"Katherine, do you think I'm some boy who can't think on his own?" he said, his voice serious, his eyes taunting me to listen. "If I want to go, I'd go. But I'm here, am I not? It means I want to be here. It means I chose to be here."

I chewed on my lower lip. "But—"

"There's no buts. I'm here. Because I want to be here. You hear me?" he asked in the tone that always made me see him in another light. God, I love it when he's bossing me around.

I nodded. "Okay... Sorry..."

"Tsk. Stop apologizing. Say sorry when you did something wrong. And you did nothing wrong."

"But still... kapag gusto mong umalis with friends, alis ka lang, ha? Basta magsasabi ka lang, okay lang naman sa 'kin... Don't feel na obliged ka na lagi akong samahan, okay?"

He looked serious, but I could see that he was fighting a smile off of his face. He quickly wrinkled his nose. Tsk. Kinilig na naman sa 'kin si Juan Alexandro.

"Okay," sabi niya na seryoso iyong mukha tapos nasa screen na naman ang mga mata.

"Kinikilig ka?" tanong ko habang balik na naman ako sa pagsusulat.

"Hindi."

"Sus. Amin-amin din 'pag may time."

"Kapag umamin ako, papanagutan mo ba?"

Biglang napa-diin iyong hawak ko sa pen kaya nagblot iyong ink. Napa-tingin ako sa kanya, nanlalaki iyong mga mata.

"Tss. Weak," sabi niya na may ngiti sa labi habang naiiling-iling pa. Ugh! Ang lakas din talaga mang-asar nito!

* * *

It was already nearing 11pm when we finished my case digests. Sarado na lahat ng mall. I needed to buy an expanding folder. 'Di ko na kasi maaayos bukas dahil marami akong aaralin kaya 'di na rin ako makakadaan sa mall.

"Meron ako sa bahay," Jax volunteered.

"Kaya mo pa bang magdrive?" I asked, worried dahil buong araw na talagang tutok iyong mata niya sa screen. I could see him squinting kanina pa. Nakaawa naman 'tong lalaki na 'to.

But even before he could play hero, I suggested that we walk na lang. Malapit naman na kami sa village nila. Kaya namang lakarin. Besides, kilala naman na kami doon sa coffee shop kaya safe naman na iwan iyong sasakyan. May guards naman 'dun.

We started to walk in silence. The night was beautiful. Kitang-kita ko lahat ng bituin sa langit. Malamig din iyong simoy ng hangin. Siguro kasi malapit ng magber months.

"What's your favorite food?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Anything."

"Ano nga? Wala kang gusto? Iyong na-e-excite ka kapag kakainin mo na?"

Nakita ko na kumunot ang noo niya. "Do you hear yourself when you speak?"

"Bakit? Wala namang masama sa tanong ko, ah!"

"Tsk."

"Ano nga favorite mong kainin?" tanong ko, pero 'di niya ako pinapansin. Patay na. Na-reach ko na yata iyong Katherine-limit ko sa Juan Alexandro-meter. Quota na yata ako sa pangungulit sa kanya ngayong araw.

"Sungit naman nito! Pagluluto nga kita bukas, e!"

"You can't cook to save your life."

"Bawal mag-aral?!"

"May recit ako bukas. Bawal akong magka-sakit."

"Ang kapal ng mukha nito! Feeling mo lalasunin kita?!"

He shrugged. "You poisoned Joey and your friends before, remember?"

"Grabe! Ang tagal na nun! 'Di ko nabasa na expired na pala 'yung pinakain ko sa kanila!" Humabol ako sa kanya. Ang bilis niya kasi maglakad. Palibasa long-legged. "Uy, ano nga kasi? Promise, I'll check the expiration dates bago ko ilagay sa kakainin mo."

I was pulling the sleeves of his shirt. Kanina niya pa hinahatak pabalik. "Tsk. Kulit."

"Kukulitin kita, alam mo 'yan. Sumagot ka na lang kasi."

"Pasta."

"Ano'ng pasta?"

"Anything."

"Hmm... Okay. Wala ka namang allergy?"

"I know you know what I'm allergic to," he smugly said.

"Feel na feel mo na patay na patay ako sa 'yo, no?"

He nodded. "Known it for years. And it wasn't like you were trying to hide it."

"Tsk. Alam mo na pala dati pa, pero pinatagal mo pa? Ano 'yun? For years na foreplay?"

He stopped walking, and flickered his fingers against my forehead. "We'll have to work on your vocabulary, Katherine Tyrese."

I stuck my tongue out. "You can't change me, Juan Alexandro. I am who I am, and I know you love me for me."

Biglang nanlaki ang mga mata ko. I just accidentally slipped the L-word! I was about to take it back, and disguise as a Freudian slip, but he quickly replied!

"You're right."

I could feel my throat drying by the second. I could feel my vision getting dizzier and dizzier. I could feel my heart throbbing wildly and dangerously.

"Y-you... y-you love me?" I asked, scared. I was terrified. I was frightened. I didn't know if I was hearing it right. Shit.

His phone vibrated. He looked at it.

"It's 11:11," he said. He turned his eyes back at me. "You know they say you can make a wish when it's 11:11, right?"

With my heart shaking and with my chest tightening, I nodded.

"I wanna make a wish," I said, stealing his momentum. Naka-tingin siya sa akin. Na parang gaya ko, mabigat na hinihintay ang bawat segundo. Na parang gaya ko, naka-taya sa ngayon ang mangyayari kinabukasan.

"Let's make this official. Be mine."