A few days later...

Levi couldn't see Eren anymore.

He could see his body, his same gorgeous, green eyes and his luscious, brown hair, but he had this different light in his eyes. They looked a little dull, not as bright as they used to. They were so dead and they reflected how he felt in the inside. Levi spent almost all his time with Eren, but it was like talking and kissing a malfunctioning robot. When the man tried to lighten the mood, Eren would react a few seconds late. When he wasn't showing a fake smile or laugh, he was apathetic.

Where was he? Levi wanted to ask.

The star eyed boy who lit his universe, the musician who strummed endlessly at his guitar, the teen who pulled him from the somber waves of the sorrowful waves of the ocean. Where was he? And here he was, internally screaming at his soul until he was sure his heart would shatter along with it, begging all the skies and heavens above to bring him back the person he loved. Levi grew weak; he stayed up at night and forgot to eat because there was only Eren on his mind. He almost got hit by cars several times when passing the street. He never paid any attention anymore.

It was a gloomy and cold afternoon. The warmth was sucked out the window. Levi was sitting on a stool next to Eren's bed, loosely holding the boy's bandaged hand and reading his face when he stared at the rain stained windows. They didn't exchange many words, and that's how most of their days passed by.

"Eren."

"Hmm?" he answered without looking away.

"Do you feel any better?" he asked. He knew what the answer was. Levi knew Eren was going to shake his head with that sad and wistful look on his face as he replied with a 'no'.

Eren didn't move his head, but sighed. "I don't know if I can even feel anything at all."

A an emotionless mind slave- was that what he had become in just a small period of time? Where was the Eren that played the piano or guitar until his fingers bled, the Eren who had his sheet music scattered all over the place.

Where was he?

---

Eren was released from the hospital, and was finished all of his therapy sessions. He was still wearing the same stoic expression on his face, like he was marble and was permanently carved into a face that Levi knew he wouldn't be showing. His face didn't light up at all when he heard the news of what happened to Bertolt and Reiner; they were sent to jail for assault for two years. It didn't make Eren happy nor dissatisfied. He was just indifferent about the whole incident. His mother's funeral was going to be held a day later, and there was still no reaction from the teen. Mikasa didn't call to ask Eren about anything to do about the funeral, probably because she didn't want to remind him, but he was a little bit grateful for that. He was going to wing an eulogy because Eren believed his emotions would be stronger if it were on the spot.

The surgery for his hands went smoothly, and he didn't need too many small plates and pins, but they did leave several bumps in some areas.

He still went over to Levi's place, but he didn't do much. He just sat on the piano chair and stared at the keys. There was no emotion on his face, and he didn't do anything. Levi didn't tell Eren to leave because he was afraid he would forget he was human. He would probably forget to eat or go out if it wasn't for Levi. He was the puppeteer now.

It was a cold but sunny evening, and Levi was preparing dinner for the both of them. He was making some sort of pasta, but it wasn't like Eren cared. He always looked down at his food, and poked at it with his fork. Levi watched him carefully.

"Look, Eren, you need to tell me what's wrong," he said with a frown.

Eren looked up with a fake smile plastered on his now pale face. Levi flinched. There was just something so wrong about that artificial smile of his. He wanted to think it was real, but he knew that would get his hopes too high.

"Nothing's wrong, Levi. I'm just tired."

The man continued to watch Eren. He was able to hold things now, but his fingers were now stiff and a little crooked. He was sure it would go back to normal, but he wasn't sure when it would. They looked so different...They were no longer the beautiful and elegant fingers that used to glide along any instrument. They were twisted.

"Are you staying over tonight?" Levi didn't know why he asked when he knew that the answer was going to be. He asked the same question every night, like it was a daily routine.

"Yes," Eren replied.

They went to bed shortly after that despite knowing how early it was. There was no kissing, no cuddling, nothing. It wasn't anything special. The boring day died slowly as Levi watched the sun set from behind the thin, white curtains. They had their backs facing each other, and they were farther apart. Day by day, Levi assumed Eren moved an inch away as if he were trying not to touch him at all. He was growing distant and more closed in. They didn't say goodnight, because they knew it wasn't going to be a good night at all. They were aware that the other had sleeping problems, but said or did nothing.

To Levi, it felt like they were never a couple in the first place, or that they had just broken up without even saying anything. Friends with benefits kind of vibe was in the air.

Levi didn't even know what the other male could be thinking, and he started to doubt the fact that Eren said he loved him.

---

Eren's movements were robotic and slow as he slipped into his best, black suit. He didn't sleep at all the night before, but he wasn't tired from sleep deprivation, he was tired of feeling so blue and gloomy. Absolutely sick of it. He would throw up if he had the chance. Vomit and empty all the sadness from his system. He wished so. Vomit until he was just a pit of nothing because at that moment, he didn't want to feel anything.

His eyes were lifeless and his skin was a thin layer of paper supported by sticks. He looked like one of those art projects that a five year old would make, but was he art? He was anything but art. He was a mess. A miserable mess.

He was going to the service with Levi, and it was almost past noon. The place wasn't so far, so the car ride wasn't going to be too bad. He was aware that the man was trying to get him to talk again, but what was he expecting him to talk about?

They silently got in Levi's car as Eren plugged in some ear buds and slumped into his seat. He didn't want to listen to Levi and his fancy piano music. He didn't want to be reminded. He didn't need to be reminded. He was listening to a song by St. South and felt himself drift off to sleep because the singer's voice was so smooth, so gentle and soothing.

---

The air smelled of wax and dust, and Eren knew his mom would have hated it.

It was raining cats and dogs by the time they reached their destination, and the cold wind was harsh against his skin and stung sharply. His legs felt like jello when he stepped onto the wet concrete and for a few seconds he thought he could have been blown away by the breeze. Levi walked next to him and lightly placed his hand on the small of his back as if guiding him. The scent was suffocating and he was already sick of it.

They both strolled inside the funeral home. The exterior wasn't too spectacular; it was built with a simple design that consisted of bricks and a slanted roof, but inside looked a lot more different. It was a long corridor that lead to multiple rooms sealed with large, oak doors. The walls were painted light yellow, which reminded Eren of tiny lemons, and the room was red carpet with exquisite designs and patterns. The whole place oddly reminded him of the orchestra.

Many people already arrived, most of them wearing black or wearing Sunday clothing. They looked to his direction the moment the door closed behind him and sent him stares of pity and sadness. Poor Carla's boy. Probably has his heart in a twist.

But Eren didn't express any emotion, which surprised them. He was a fine dressed mannequin. He spotted Mikasa chatting to a few of their relatives and she quickly walked over to him. She wore a a dress that reached just above her knees with long sleeves and a white collar, matching her black Mary Jane pumps and cardigan. She was, of course, wearing that red scarf of hers. Mikasa looked like she was attending a fashion show than a funeral.

"Oh, Eren," she said and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I know," he whispered and hugged her back. "I miss her too."

She broke away from the embrace and  nodded to Levi. "Thanks for coming. My mother really did appreciate your care for Eren."

Levi didn't answer. It was just so strange seeing Eren in this kind of place. He looked so out of place, but then again, everyone else did too. It was like all the sadness was spewing from everyone's bodies and staining the carpet below them. Maybe that was why it smelled so weird, it was filled with everyone's tears and remorse.

"When is it starting?" Eren asked quietly as he ignored the stares.

"In a few seconds actually. We wanted to wait for you," she answer. "Come on. Follow me."

They quietly trailed behind her and entered another room. It was decorated with flowers that Eren had no idea existed and chairs lined up in rows in front of a casket. Eren almost choked and had to hold himself back instead of zooming out of there. Many people were already seated and didn't look up when they entered. He couldn't see his father anywhere. Maybe he was going to arrive late. Knowing him, he was probably suppose to be on some other trip.

Time passed by in his point of view. He kept looked over at the white and shiny casket, knowing his mother was laying there dead. Knowing she was no longer moving and breath and knowing that her heart had stopped, her lungs dead and her eyelids closed for eternity.

The priest spoke prayers and blessings, and Eren almost didn't hear it when he was called up for his eulogy. Of course he was going to be called up. Being the son of the diseased and all. His shoes were made of lead an his body was in water, a least, that's what it felt like. There was a small podium with a tiny microphone waiting for him. Waiting for what he had to say.

"Hey," he said solemnly. "First of all, I just wanted to say thank you. I'm sure my mother would have appreciated it."

He paused, not knowing what to say for a while. He never said an eulogy, so he didn't know what he was supposed to say an what he wasn't supposed to say.

"Random story but uh, when I was younger I had my very first vocal lesson. I remember it very clearly, you see; my mother took my shoulders, looked into my eyes an said 'Eren, I'm not going to lie, but you might not be very good, but then again you might also succeed. I want you to know that I really don't care because no matter what, I will always encourage you and be there with you when you need my support.' My mother... she was always so supportive of me. I bet she was sick and tired of my horrible guitar strumming when I first started, or when I joined concert band for the very first time. She always believed in me and she would promise to make me feel better when I was sad, but..." he trailed off when he started to hear his voice cracking against his will. He was looking down at the podium now.

He could hear a few sniffles and quiet sobs from the crowd. They were all getting emotional too. He Eren couldn't blame them; his mom was a very good person. She was the stars that lit the dark sky at night.

"How is she supposed to make me feel better if she's gone, you know?" A single tear fell from his eye an slid down his cheek. "God. Who knew a person could make so many people upset after they disappear from the world. It's ridiculous, really. I'm not getting emotional over the fact that she won't be able to pat my head an say 'Eren, it's going to be alright', but because of the fact that she won't be able to see me grow more successful. I'm sure she would have loved to watch me. Watching from heaven is a bit different. Like looking through a transparent glass wall. It's not really the same, almost like watching television. I know it sounds pretty selfish of me, but I guess you can say that it's my mother who created the person I am today."

He paused again, only hearing the heavy breathing of everyone in the room. He felt Levi's stare burning into his face, watching him intently.

"My mom didn't even know she was sick until recently, but it was too late by the time she found out. I can't blame her. She put everyone else before herself. She was so selfless and kind and it makes me think that I should have spent more time with her instead of getting busy with moving and crap like that. In my short life, I have a lot of regrets, but my wonderful mom makes up for it. I miss her, and I'm sure a lot of you here do too."

Eren couldn't go on.

---

AN:

er...i don't go to funerals much, so idk what's it like.

this fic is ending soon and i was originally planning to work on aesthetic acid and a kagehina fic, but i also decided to write a kidnapper au because trust me it's going to be intense.

anyways, leave a vote if you liked and comment what you think! thank you for reading!

~your best friend takeshi