FANART OMG ITS BOOTYFUL! I can't really see the artists signature that well, but it's in the corner of the photo and I think it says @Herobrine_Myth7770? Check them out on twitter, I think that's where they posted it. Anyway, enjoy the chapter!

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"This is the gayest thing I've ever seen in my entire life." Tucker stared at Jordan and I with narrowed eyes, like he was trying to figure out something inside of his head. I don't get what he's talking about. It's perfectly normal to have your platonic friend sitting in your lap while eating cereal and watching The Voice. People do it all the time, right?

"Can you kindly screw off?" I asked him a dull tone. I'm having a good morning and I don't want it ruined because of his stupid observations.

"I don't think you should be so salty with me today," he replied with a smirk. "I know about the dog."

Jordan tensed in my lap, but I rubbed a thumb across his hip to tell him it was cool. He relaxed a little and went back to eating his Cheerios, letting his eyes wander back to the TV. "So what?" I scoffed. "I know you like the damn thing, you love dumb furry animals."

He rolled his eyes, but I knew I was right. The only reason he promised to keep animals out of the house was because Sonja likes to bring in a shit ton of cats wherever she lives, and he hates them. "Whatever. Where did you even get it? There aren't any shelters around here."

"Accidentally hit it with my car so I brought it back here. Jordan decided to call him Grizz. Cute huh?" That was all a complete lie, but I'm not gonna throw Jordan under the bus. God knows I owe him ten thousand favors for helping me out so much. I saw him flash me a small smile before going back to his lame TV show. I'll do anything to make this nerd happy.

"Wow. You're a shit driver aren't you?" He joked. He bent down to the floor where Grizz was chilling by his feet, paws pawing at his shoes. "Hey Grizz. Sorry Tom hit you, he's a bit of a jackass huh?" He ruffled Grizz's hair with his hand.
The dog yipped in response, which offended me a little. I let the creature stay, didn't I? Am I really that bad of a person?

Wait I didn't hit the dog, Jordan did. Jeez.

"Shut up. Are you here to just be salty towards me or do you actually have something to say?"

"Yeah. Shouldn't you be at work right now?" He gave me a pointed look while he kept petting Grizz.

"I quit."

"You what? Dude how are you gonna pay the bills if-"

"He's gonna be working with me!" Jordan nearly shouted over top of him. "Uh, I needed somebody to help me edit videos and he's really good at it so I hired him. It pays a lot more than his other job." He's a terrible liar, but Tucker is terrible at reading people so maybe it'll balance out. Tucker stared at us both suspiciously through his gunners.

"I didn't know you knew how to edit videos. You don't even have a computer."

Think of a lie, quick! "I go to the library sometimes and do it there. They've got computers and stuff." That sounds okay. He's got to believe that one.

He gave me one last funny look before shrugging and standing up. "Alright. Me and Sonj are going to a convention next city over so we won't be home till late. Don't wait up." He did a salute before heading out of my room, with Grizz trailing after him like a small furry hurricane. I looked up to Jordan as soon as the door closed.

"Editing?" I asked sarcastically.

"Don't worry, I'm not actually going to make you edit videos. I already have someone who does that for me." He gave me a reassuring look before going back to his cereal. It ticked me off for some reason, the way he spoke to me just then. I'm not a complete dumbass, I'm sure I can learn how to edit a damn YouTube video.

"I'm sure I can, you know." I watched his face for a reaction, but all he did was smile and nod.

"I'm sure you could. Woah, this guy is good!" He pointed at the TV, where some guy was singing on the stage. Somehow that pissed me off even more. He completely ignored me, does he really think I can't do it? I mean it's just picking apart a video and making some parts better. It doesn't sound too hard. I'm sure anyone with a brain could do it.

"I want to."

He sighed and sat down his bowl on the desk beside the bed, before looking back to me. "It takes time to learn how to do it Tom. The guy who does it for me is really good and he's had years of experience. I just don't think you'd have the patience for it."

"Well you're a jerk and you can watch your damn show by yourself." I shoved him off of me and stomped off to the living room, where I could watch TV in peace and not put up with the snobbiest human being on the planet. I sat down on the couch and crossed my arms, glaring at the TV with pure hatred. I have patience. You need patience to put up with the shit I've gone through for the last twenty-two years of my life. I had patience when my parents practically treated me like a slave, I had patience when I went out with all of those dumb bimbos and doped up retards who didn't care about me, and I had patience each and every time somebody broke my heart. I have patience. I would be dead or in jail if I didn't have patience.

I didn't realize he'd followed me into the living room and sat right next to me on the couch until he started speaking to me.

"Don't be mad. I didn't mean to make you upset."

I snorted at his words and clenched my fists tighter together, trying to distract myself with the moving pictures on the screen. It wasn't working. My pissed off levels were only increasing.

"Please say something."

I didn't even try to stop the words that came spewing out of my mouth. "I have patience. Don't you dare ever say that I don't, because for the last twenty two years, I've had to put up with the biggest bullshit ever and I literally sat through all of it with a big freakin' smile on my face. So don't you dare ever say again that I don't have patience when I've been through hell and back and you've sat on your ass your entire life." I sounded almost possessed, but I didn't feel one bit sorry about it. He deserves it for being a cocky little rich kid and spitting on my ideas.

He didn't say anything after that. He scooted a little farther away from me on the couch until he was on the main end, and that still wasn't enough to make me stop twitching from anger. I haven't been this angry in a long time. My teeth felt like they were about to break from how hard I was gritting them together and my fists ached from my constant clenching them.

It was a long time before either of us did anything. I broke that eerie mysterious aura in the room by looking over to glare at him, but when I turned my head in his direction, my mood changed completely.

He had his knees pulled up to his chest, chin resting on them as he stared at the screen with unspilled tears glittering in his eyes. Shit. Shit shit shit. I think he felt me looking at him, because after a second or two he turned his head to look at me.

"I'm sorry." He didn't look into my eyes, only just below them like he was scared I'd snap at him if he looked directly into my eyes.

"Er...an abusive relationship."

"Woah what? Somebody's abused you before?"

Shit! I forgot, no wonder he's on the brink of crying!

"No no no, you didn't do anything wrong! It's totally cool. You're fine, I'm not mad. I was just being stupid. C'mere." I scooted over to his end of the couch and held open my arms, to which he almost immediately crawled into. I held him in my lap and rubbed soft circles into the small of his back. I can't get mad like that ever again, never at him. He's sensitive and he's nervous, I have no clue what possessed me to yell and get that angry at him.

"I'm sorry. You have every right to slap the shit out of me right now, no kidding. I won't even be mad, just go ahead and do it."

"I'm overreacting anyway," I heard him murmur into my shoulder. "I don't know why I'm crying."

"Because that asshole who hurt you made you scary, right? God I wish I knew where he was, I'd kill him."

"Don't kill anyone over me...I'm not worth it."

"Yes you are. Everyone's got worth, especially you."

"Not enough to kill another person over."

"I'd kill an army if it meant protecting you."

He sniffled and looked up to meet my eyes, and I was completely taken back by just how beautiful his eyes were. Have they always been that beautiful shade of brown? "Do you really mean that?" He asked tearfully.

This is dangerous. Promises of protection, comforting that involves lots of touching, reassurance of worth. These are all signs that I've done it again. I've allowed somebody to get close enough to me to where I trust them, and I know that these types of bonds with people never last. They end in disaster and heartbreak and awkward meetings years on. Jordan will be another name on the long list of people whose lives I've ruined or lives that have bettered in ruining me.
I don't want that. I always think at the beginning of one of these things that this one will be different, this one will change me and make me better. This one, this guy or girl, will be the one that ends my misery.

But it's never like that. I always end up the same, slumped over James' bar and begging him for another round of vodka so I can drink away my latest heartbreak. I don't want that anymore. I want a better life. A happy one.

"You know...I've had some pretty screwed up relationships too. You remember Nade? The guy you went out with a few days ago?"

He nodded, his eyes still glued to mine whole he waited for me to explain. I shifted uncomfortably and sighed, before reluctantly explaining a story I was all too tired of talking about.

"We were together before, like we were extremely close and I really thought that...maybe one day, you know, we might get married or some shit like that. You know how you feel when you're in high school, you think that one person is the one, right? That this person is gonna take care of you your whole life and never hurt you?"

He shook his head lightly. Of course he didn't have a high school sweet heart, he had to be one of those nerds who played dungeons and dragons in the corner of the classroom.

"Well it feels like magic. To me it did, at least. One day when we were screwin' around in the back of his jacked up car, and he said we should run away. Drop out of high school and leave our broken ass families, run away to a huge city and get our own place. I was in love with the guy Jordan, and I did everything he wanted. I was an idiot and I dropped out of high school and I left my family, all because of that son of a bitch. When things got hard, when we couldn't find work and we couldn't pay the bills, I-...we got scared. We argued, we fought, we said stupid shit that hurt the both of us. And then we split up. And I have never been the same. I don't trust people too often. When I do, I usually get hurt or I get them hurt. Every relationship I've ever had has ended in complete disaster. I have a drinking problem. I hate people. Hardly anything makes me happy anymore. I've been this way ever since Nade, and it gets worse every time I bring someone else into my life. So...I hope you know now why it's hard for me to, you know, be honest with you."

"I-I don't get it. Why did you let me go out with him if-"

"Because I really don't care about the past that much anymore. He's on his feet, he's got a job, he looks alright. I'm just glad he isn't dead."

"So...you're scared I'll be a mistake, just like he was?"

"Basically."

"That's funny."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Why is it funny?"

"Because I'm the exact same way. And so is Nade. He was telling me about you when we went to the movies. Wouldn't shut up about you, actually."

I blushed, which was something I didn't do very often. Nade talked about me? "What did he say?"

"Mean things at first, but then when I asked about you guys and your past relationship, he softened up a lot. He said you were the cutest guy on the basketball team. That true?" Jordan wiggled his eyebrows, and I blushed even harder. He was telling the truth. Nade is the only one who would've known about that. He was at every game and meet that I had, sitting in the bleachers in his stupid muse hoodie with a big excited smile on his face. He hated basketball, but he knew I loved seeing his pretty little kissable face light up when I scored a basket. My heart tugs painfully at the memory.

"I guess. Maybe that's the only reason he liked me so much." I sounded bitter, but I didn't care. I don't like Nade anymore and he doesn't like me. We destroyed each other's lives.

"No that's not it. He told me why, but I guess you don't want to know since...you're so content on hating him." He smiled coyly at me.

"...tell me."

"Alright. He said it was your eyes."

I snorted. "My eyes? He asked me out because of my eyes? Wow, what a stupid excuse."

"He said, and I quote, 'Tom had the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen in my entire life.'"

He always told me in those little moments, our breaks between kissing, that I had such pretty eyes. I would tell him they were the color of shit and that they weren't at all beautiful, and he would get angry at me every time.

"I know you don't hate him. You should try talking to him again. I bet things could work out this time. He misses you a lot too, you know."

"I never said I missed him," I snapped.

"The water coming out of your eyes says otherwise." He reached up and brushed his thumb across my cheek, and sure enough when he withdrew it it was covered in water. I'm crying over Nade again.

"I don't want to be with him again. I've moved on and so has he."

"You don't have to be with him again. Just sit down and talk to him for a little while, apologize for your part in the hurt and he might apologize for his. At least then you guys can be friends and get over all of this."

"...what if he doesn't want to meet up?" I whispered.

"He does, trust me. And now the question is do you want to meet up with him?"

Of course I do.

"Sure. Why not."
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I've written up so seventeen drafts for this but I can't get a single one written up for my other book...I hate writers block. Im sorry I'm not posting all that much in my other Syndisparklez book >_<

Pretty please favorite and comment if you enjoyed this chapter! I read every single comment and I appreciate every single favorite too <3 Thanks!

- Lee