Beep beep beep

I groaned at the incredibly annoying noise that had just suddenly began to voice itself. Why do I have an alarm on? I don't work on Saturdays. Did I have something to go to today? Screw it, if I do then I'm not going. Sleeping in sounds a lot better than whatever the hell I initially had planned.

Beep beep beep

I gritted my teeth as the noise continued. Why has no one invented telepathic remotes so you can turn things off without moving? It's 2015 for gods sake.

Beep beep beep

I huffed angrily and snapped open my eyes, sending a wave of pain crashing through my skull at the sudden action. I could see a small little light flashing in front of me. Is this the stupid thing that woke me up? I oughta smash it into pieces, whatever it is.

Beep beep beep

Wait a second. That's my ringtone. My phone is going off, not my alarm. God I'm an idiot.

I squinted at the flashing light on my screen, which I could see now read WAG next to the caller ID symbol. What's Wag calling me for this early in the morning? Doesn't he know I have the worst sleeping schedule in the world?

I sighed and slid the screen across, putting the phone against my ear. "What the hell do you want?" I asked, my voice scratchy and deep from exhaustion.

I heard him chuckle on the other end, and his happiness made me want to crush my skull against a wall. "I just wanted to make sure you got home safely. I tried calling you last night but you never picked up. You did get home, didn't you?"

"I got home safely you idiot. Why wouldn't I be home?" I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and tried to focus on my ceiling, but I still couldn't see that well. How much did I drink last night? Jesus I can't remember anything.

"Well I thought maybe you spent the night with you know who, but I suppose not. Tell me though, what happened after you two left? Did anything exciting take place in the cab? I'm dying to know."

What? You know who? I went home with someone? Who?!

"What are you talking about?" I swear to god if I went home with a plastic, I'll never forgive myself. I promised after the last plastic catastrophe, I'd never go home with one ever again.

"You know, the man you left with? The one you found in the bathroom? I thought surely you'd both cause a spark or two. Did nothing happen?" He asked, slight disappointment evident in his tone. A guy? I went home with a guy? Is he joking or is he completely serious? I haven't went home with a guy in...a really long time.

"James what guy? Who are you talking about? I can't remember anything from last night, did I actually go home with a guy?"

"The sick guy you found puking in the bathroom. You went home with him to make sure he got to his place safely."
The sick guy. I went home with a sick guy to ensure his safety? How incredibly drunk was I? I never care for human beings. What the hell happened last night?

I was about to attack James with even more questions, but I went completely frozen when I heard a small noise beside me. My eyes had adjusted by then, and I quickly angled my head over to see just what had invaded my bed and scared the living shit out of me.

It all came flooding back at once with just a single glance at his face. The bathroom, the cab, the ecstasy, the hugging, the cuddling. Jordan. I spent the night with Jordan.

I laid there, mouth agape and body stiff while he slept peacefully against my shoulder, his jet black hair tickling my bare chest. Bare chest. Oh my god I'm half naked. Oh my god Jordan's half naked too.

"Hello? Tom? Are you still there?" James asked, though I was too entranced by the sleeping angel beside me to answer. What did we do last night? I remember we hugged a few times and had some deep convos, but what about after? Why are we both half naked?

"I'll call you back." I jabbed the end button and as quickly as I could, jumped out of bed, snatched up my things, and bolted out of the apartment as fast as I could. And after running halfway across the street and two miles away from his apartment, I realized I had grabbed the wrong shirt from the floor. I had grabbed Jordan's shirt instead. Shit.

It was too late to go back. I continued to run all the way to the bus station, continued running when I got off the bus, and I didn't stop running until I reached my house. When I got through the doors of my house, I ran straight to my room, locked my door, and crawled underneath my bed covers. The first feeling that ran through me after the fear had subsided was a new one.

Complete regret.

Why did I run away? Jordan was amazing. I obviously liked him, otherwise I wouldn't have been half naked and cuddled up to him in his bed. What's he gonna think when he wakes up? That I used him? What if he remembers we did have sex and he thinks I only wanted him for that?

I wanted to ball up in a corner and cry after that thought. Why that was, I wasn't sure. I just met the guy for gods sake, why am I getting this torn up over him?

I growled and wiped away a few stray tears streaming down my cheeks. There no use crying about it. It doesn't matter. He's gone now. He doesn't know your last name and you don't know his.

But you know where he lives.

That doesn't mean anything. I probably don't even remember the name of his apartment complex.

It was Madisonburg Apartments, and his room number was 114.

Shut the hell up mind. I want to forget him. Last night shouldn't have even happened. I should've just left him in that bathroom and then none of this would've happened.

But you wanted it to happen. You're glad that it did. He was nice to you. He laughed at your jokes. He trusted you, and you left him alone without an explanation. What kind of person are you?

I sighed. "A horrible one," I muttered bitterly.

"Tom? Are you home?"

Shit, no I can't face anyone right now. No one in my entire life has ever seen me cry, no one. I am not breaking that reputation now because of some stupid guy I met at a bar.

"Yeah, just sleeping off a hangover. You need something?" Please go away. Please go away. Please go away.

"I was just wondering where you went last night. Tucker said you were with some guy? Did you have a date or something?"

My face went flush red at the mention of a date. Was it a date? We cuddled and we did things normal platonic people wouldn't do. I hate these stupid mixed feelings.

"No, I was just hanging out with a drinking buddy. He couldn't handle his alcohol so I went home with him to make sure he didn't get himself killed."

There was a long silence, long enough to feel me with absolute panic. Sonja is really really smart, like ridiculously smart. It's not easy lying to her. Poor Tucker can't hide anything from the chick, not even his browser history. What are the chances she actually believes my story? Especially when my voice sounds this messed up?

"Tom...you can tell me anything. We've known each other for years. You can tell me about your little date, I won't judge. At least tell me if he was cute or not?" She laughed through the wooden door.

He was cute. He was so cute. That little black quiff of hair and that stubble covering his cheeks, not to mention his eyes, those puddles of rich milky brown chocolate I could stare into all day. Ugh. I am not helping myself here.

"I take your silence as a yes?" I heard her smirk.

"I don't want to talk about last night," I growled half-heartedly. I do want to talk about last night. Every second of it. Every look, touch, and feeling that we shared, I want to talk about it.

"Yes you do, you stubborn salt shaker. Unlock the door so I can chat with you. I know you're crying in there."

"I am not!" I shouted, my voice cracking slightly from the choked sob I tried to force back.

"Open the door Tom," she asked softly. My heart broke a little at her tone. Why am I such an emotional bitch today? I hate my life.

I don't know what evil spell possessed me to do it, but I finally gave in, shuffling over to the door and twisting the lock open. The door opened soon after, and Sonjas smile faded as soon as she saw my face. "Aw Tom! What happened last night? Did someone do something to you?"

I shook my head as I shuffled back to my bed, slumping down onto it as depressingly as I could manage. "No. It was me. I did something stupid." I think I slept with a guy and I think I might have feelings for him now.

My bed shifted slightly, letting me know she was sitting on it too now. "What did you do?"

"I think I had sex with this guy, but I couldn't remember, so I ran out of his apartment as soon as I woke up. And now I'm regretting everything."

"Well...why did you run away? Didn't you like him? I mean, I'm surprised you even went home with someone. You hate people." She laughed lightly, but it only made me feel worse. I do hate people. Why don't I hate him right now? It was his fault I was feeling this way in the first place.

"I don't know, " I admitted solemnly. "I just ran."

"You know what I think? I think you ran because you were scared of your feelings."

I scoffed angrily and rolled my eyes. "Yeah sure, what feelings? I don't have feelings." I knew it was lie. I was feeling something alright. I just wasn't sure what.

"Okay then. So why do you regret running away from him?"

Her question caught me off guard. Why do I regret it? I shouldn't even care. He was a one night stand, I'm used to those. One night, one bed, one experience, and then it's over. I don't bother to remember the persons name or where they live or what their hobbies are.

But I do know his name. Jordan. He lives in Madisonburg apartments, room 114. He works as a Youtuber. He likes downy fabric softener because he says it smell like home. He doesn't like alcohol. He's gay. He has shit friends. He's short and skinny. He's 24 years old. His dad left when he was a kid. He likes cuddling.

Why do I know so much about him?

"Hello? Earth to Tom?" Sonja waved a hand in front of my face, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"He's perfect and I'm not." The words were completely foreign to me. I called someone perfect. That goes against everything I've ever lived by. Everyone has a mask, everyone has an imperfection, everyone is revolting in some way.

But he was perfect to me. Why?

A smile played on her lips and she rolled her eyes at me. "You are totally whipped."

"Shut the hell up! I am not!"

"You called someone perfect. Are you listening to yourself?" She giggled. "But anyway, you should go back. Apologize and say you got scared. If he's so perfect like you're saying, then he'll understand."

"What?! I can't go back!"

"Why not?"

"Because-...because..."

"Suck up your pride and go back. You like this guy. I can see it."

"But I don't! I never said I did!"

She narrowed her eyes and gave me a disapproving look. "Tom. I don't wanna be harsh, but you probably won't ever get another guy that makes you feel like this. Just being brutally honest. If you really care about him that much, you'll go back to him."

"...but what if I get hurt Sonja? What if I hurt him?" God knows I'm horrible at being a human being.

"You're gonna hurt him anyway if you don't show up and say sorry for making him feel like a booty call. Just say YOLO and take a chance. This could be the beginning of something great for you." She gave me warm smile and a soft squeeze to my shoulder, making me cringe at the sappiness of the moment.

"Ugh. I can taste the sap. It's disgusting."

"Shut up and get out of here. Go chase after your man crush."

~

Apartment 114. This is it. He's in there.

Remember what Sonja said. Say sorry, explain why you left, and tell him what your feelings are. I can do is.

I sucked in a huge breath, raising my fist to the door and placing my knuckles on the wood. The door swung open as soon as pressure was applied to it, revealing the dark apartment inside. Oh my god. I forgot to close the door all the way when I left. A murderer could have came in and killed him, and it would've been my fault. Wait. Does that mean he's still asleep? Is he still in bed, unknowing about my absence?

I creeped inside and tiptoed down the hallway, heading towards the bedroom at the end of the hallway. The door was cracked open. I guess I forgot to close that all the way too. Idiot. I quietly pushed it open just a little, and peered inside.

He was there. He was sat up in bed awake, staring at the empty spot beside him with a small frown. Oh god, he knows I left. I watched him pick up a small piece of black fabric stuffed halfway underneath my pillow, which I immediately recognized as my shirt. He stared at it for a moment, as if contemplating a decision, before sighing and slipping it over his upper body. He put on my shirt. I felt like screaming at the top of my lungs, he put on my damn shirt.

He laid back down, wrapping his arms around himself and sighing in contempt. He's happy? Why? I left and I didn't tell him. Maybe he thinks I'm still here.

I watched him scoot a little closer towards my side of the bed, putting a hand over the spot still wrinkled from my sleeping. "Why did you go?" I heard him whisper sadly. Because I was scared! I'm sorry! I regret everything!

"I-I'm sorry."

His head snapped around in my direction, his eyes widening when he realized who I was. "Oh. You're here. This is awkward."

"Why is it awkward?" I asked snappily without meaning to.

"Well...we kinda cuddled last night."

"We uh...we didn't do anything else?" I asked hesitantly.

"No. My air conditioner broke, that's why we were kinda naked. You...you thought we-?"

"I-I don't know. I don't remember much from last night."

He nodded and looked away from my gaze, picking nervously at the hem of my shirt. He sure does like picking at things when he's nervous, I'll tell you that.

"My shirt looks cute on you," I announced suddenly. He blushed and grinned a little, still fiddling with the hem.

"I was gonna say the same thing." He nodded towards the grey t-shirt I was wearing, and I blushed too.

"So...I'm sorry about leaving. I kinda got cold feet, you know what I mean?" I chuckled nervously.

"I-It's okay! I'm glad you came back. Um, where did you go?"

"My house. I wasn't gonna come back but...my roommate talked me into it. It was stupid of me to walk out on you. My bad."

"It's fine, I understand." He sent me a weak smile, almost like he was afraid to show any emotion towards me or else I'd leave again. How could I have left this cheeky nerd? He obviously has abandonment issues. Was I not thinking at all this morning? I need to get my head out of my ass for a good five minutes. It might do me some good.

He looked back down again, the smile vanishing as he went back to picking at my shirt. Crap, I forgot to respond. That's why he stopped smiling. I watched in utter fascination as he rubbed the back of his neck slowly, groaning ever so softly every few seconds as he did so. He must have gotten a kink in his neck trying to lay on me. Aw shit, everything is my fault, isn't it?

"I-I can give you a back massage?" I blurted out. Well that's just great. Ask the guy you barely know if he wants a back massage. I'm such an idiot.

He smiled wider at my suggestion, chuckling a little from the eagerness of it. "You don't need to do-"

"But I want to!" I interrupted him. What is happening to me? Did I switch brains with someone last night? Did the mass amount of alcohol soften the cold black rock that I call my heart?

He blushed then, looking back down to once again pick at the hem of my shirt. "Okay then..." He whispered quietly.

Wait. Does that mean he wants me to? He said okay. That means he's okay with me doing it, right? Though when I saw him staring at me expectantly, I knew that meant he was fine with it. Okay then, I can do this.

I awkwardly shuffled over to the bed and took a seat on my side, while he turned his back to me. How do you even massage someone's back? I've never done it before. I've seen those weird Asian guys in malls do it before, but god knows if I do it that way I'll break poor Jordan's neck in half.

I put my hands on the back of his neck, and he visibly flinched from my touch, causing me to flinch back as well. Did I do something wrong already?

He chuckled nervously. "S-Sorry, you have really cold hands."

"If you don't want me to, I won't. Don't feel pressured by me or anything. I don't want to force you into anything you don't feel comfortable with." Wow, that sounded really weird. It's just a damn back massage, it's not like we're about to have sex or something. Jeez.

"No, it's fine. I promise. Go ahead," he encouraged. I nodded and put my hands back on the place they were before, this time actually moving them around the area he was stretching out a few minutes ago. It was no more than a minute later when he let out the weirdest noise I'd ever heard, an odd strangled sound that made his entire body tense up immensely.

"Are you okay?" Oh god, maybe I did break his neck.

He nodded in response, letting the rest of himself relax again. What was that? Did he just cough or something and it turned out wrong? Oh well. He probably wouldn't want me to pay attention to it if it was just some awkward cough. I let my fingers travel back to the place they'd been a moment ago, when he did it again.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," he said shortly.

"I have a feeling you're lying to me."

"I-I'm not! I swear!"

"Then why do you keep making that noise?"

"It's-...embarrassing."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Just tell me, you weirdo. Stop being so damn shy."

"Well...it feels really good," he admitted quietly.

"And?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I don't want you to hear me m-moaning."

"Jordan I've heard plenty of moaning in my lifetime. It's not something I haven't heard before."

"S-Still! It's embarrassing!"

"It isn't. It's your body reacting to pleasure." He may be two years older than me, but he's at least ten years younger in the brain. He's got to be a virgin. He's so innocent and awkward.

"That doesn't change my feelings about it..." He mumbled. I sighed for what felt like the fifth time that day and started massaging his neck again, making sure to pay extra attention to the area that was hurting him. He didn't try strangling the moans this time, instead quietly accepting his fate and letting the noises out.

I couldn't help but smile a little. "Your moans are pretty cute Jordan."

"Shut up," he snapped. Though I didn't take him seriously, because three seconds later he was moaning again.

"Better shut up yourself, your neighbors might think you're doing something else in here besides getting a back massage."

"Then stop massaging my back!" He squeaked angrily.

"I thought you were enjoying it?"

"I am!"

"Then why do you want me to stop?"

"Because- it- you're-"

"I'm what?"

"You're infuriating!"

"Infuriating? What's that mean?" I knew what it meant, I'm not completely stupid. I just like making him mad I guess.

"Forget it! I have to pee!" He declared, ripping away from my hands and jumping up off the bed, stomping off to the bedroom door. Though I couldn't let him leave without one last quip.

"What's that got to do with anything?"

He spin around and gave me a death glare, one that completely wiped the smile off my face. Who knew a nerd so innocent and cute could make such an awful face. "Shut. Up."

I raised my hands in defense and made a locking motion around my lips, signaling I'd shut up for him. He rolled his eyes and stomped out of the room, his footsteps gradually fading the farther away he got. I wasn't sure if he could hear me, but I said what was on my mind anyway.

"I think you look cute when your angry," I called out. I heard a growl of annoyance and a slamming door in response.

This weekend is going to be fun.
~~~
TADAAAAAAA!!! It's not much, but it gets much fluffier I promise <3

I might update this again tomorrow because I actually have a lot of drafts written up for this book! I hope you enjoyed it and please leave some favorite and comments! It would mean a lot to me and I appreciate and read every comment you guys leave <3 Thank you!

- Lee