Jordan is a heavy sleeper.

I know it's wrong to take advantage of someone in their sleep, but I really don't think it counts when I'm doing non-harmful things to them. I've been tempted to draw a penis on his face multiple times and I came extremely close to putting his hand in warm water to make him piss himself, but I decided against it each time. I did some other things I'm not proud of though.

Look, I just wanted to know what his hair felt like. I've never touched it before and it always looks really soft and I had to do it. I don't regret it, it was softer than anything I've ever felt before and I took a lot of enjoyment out of it. And I know this is going to sound super creepy too, but hear me out, it was a moment of weakness. I slipped my hands under his T-shirt and I wrapped them around his waist. I didn't do all of this on the same night, it took a lot of courage to actually even plan out my idea. Finally one night I worked up the confidence and I said yolo. Best idea I've ever had and I plan on doing it again, despite how creepy and pervy it is.

So while I held Jordan by his bare waist and buried my face into his neck, I had some pretty interesting thoughts. Scary ones and really heart melting ones. What if he's really awake right now and he's terrified to say anything because he's scared of what I'll do? What if he's awake and he's enjoying it, and he wants me to keep doing it?

I did it again the next night, but I did something really stupid that time. I forgot to let go of him before I fell asleep. But...apparently Jordan didn't give a damn. I woke up with his hands under my shirt, and they were in a place I would've never expected Jordan Maron to put his hands on. I get the feeling Sonja was right about Jordan really liking my ass. I waited until he woke up to tease him about it.

As soon as his eyes flickered opened, I put on my best smirk. "So you like my ass, hm?"

"Mmh...yeah." He giggled tiredly and didn't dare move his hands an inch from where they were. I was perfectly okay with that.

"And just what made you think this was okay boy?" I tried to sound menacing, almost like police officer, and the voice made him giggle even more.

"I's only returning the favor...you like my hips?"

"Hell yes I do. Shakira ain't get nothin on your hips. Do your hips tend to lie Sparkley man?"

He rolled his eyes before yawning and closing them again. "Stop flirting. I need sleep."

"Well I need it too, but it's hard to sleep when somebody's gripping my booty all night long."

"You love it..." He mumbled lazily.

"I do." I nuzzled my head into his shoulder and pulled him closer to me.

"...Tom?"

"Yeah?"

"Should we...talk 'bout this?" He muttered sleepily. No. Talking leads to confronting, and the last thing I want to do right now is deal with some heavy shit about boundaries and relationships. I just want to be able to do this without worrying about platonic and friend technicalities. Technicalities? Did I just think that word? What does that even mean?

"Nah. I think it's better if we ignore it. How about you?"

He gave one last half hearted giggle and a nod before letting his form slump over onto mine. "I gotta work today...I dunt wanna."

"You don't have to," I reply into his shoulder. "Stay in bed with me."

"I gotta go home though...fans are worried...askin' what's wrong and stuff. Come home with meee..."

"After you get done with work, you gonna come cuddle with me?"

"Mmhm..."

"You promise?"

"Yah..."

"Alright. But you gotta lay here with me for another hour, alright? Your adorning fans can wait a bit longer."

"M'kay...I gotta tell you 'bout somethin later..."

"About what?"

"Mmh...shouldn't say right now...later." He tried to doze off but I poked him in the chest really hard and made him jolt awake again.

"Tell me now."

"I'm tired...won't make sense...I'll probably say somethin' stupid..."

"That's the point, you won't say it later so say it now!" I laughed. He giggled again and blinked his eyes further open so he could wake up a little.

"Had a dream 'bout you," he mumbled, smiling like an idiot.

"Oh yeah?" I almost snickered. "What was it?"

"You had...a channel, like mine. We made...we made vids together. People loved you."

"That sounds cool. What else happened in this dream?" I was hoping I could catch him slipping up and saying something stupid, but he's too aware of himself to mess up his words or blurt something out.

He was falling back asleep again. His eyes were drooping and his smile kept fading and fading. "We were...mmh...hehe."

"What are you giggling about?" I asked, nearly about to burst out in giggles myself. His laugh is just too cute. It's even better when it's a tired laugh.

"They...the fans shipped us," he giggled. "I did too...wouldn't we be your...OTP too?" He giggled one last time, before his eyes shut completely and he went limp. OTP? Shipping? What the hell does that all mean? Man, a google search would be great right now but my phones in the living room and I can't leave this bed while Jordan Maron is holding my booty.

About ten minutes later, the fun ended. Jordan rolled over on his side and let go of my booty. Though I was disappointed, I decided now would be a good time to go google those weird words he said earlier. I slipped out of bed and tiptoed out of my room, then closing the door quietly behind me. I didn't bother being sneaky when I went off to the living room. Tucker and Sonja probably aren't home and Grizz is a dog. It's not like he has to work later or something.
I snatched my phone off the coffee table where I'd laid it last night when Jordan and I were watching The Hunger Games. I smiled when I remembered one of our conversations from last night.

"Do you think I'd make it through the first five minutes?" I asked, giggling.

"If I was there, yes. I'm a pro at hungry games."

"Are you now?"

"Yup. I practice all the time on minecraft."

"Oh my god, you're such a nerd." I flicked a piece of popcorn in his direction and he dodged it.

"Hey you never know, it might pay off one day. I guarantee if we were ever in the games together we'd make it out alive."

"Oh yeah? What if it was just us two at the end of it? Would you kill me?"

He seemed hurt by my assumption, offended even. "No I wouldn't kill you. We would eat the night lock berries and die together, so neither of us have to live without each other."

I couldn't help but snicker at his cliche suggestion. "I thought Katniss and Peetah wanted to do it so they could outsmart the Capitol?"

He shrugged and looked back at the screen, now showing the end credits and playing some soundtrack music. "It's however you interpret it as. Maybe Katniss loved Peetah and that's the real reason she wanted to do it. She didn't want to live without him. Maybe outsmarting the Capitol was just a small part of it."

"Is that how you see it?"

He started blushing for some reason. "Yeah. I know it's stupid, but-"

"No no, it's not stupid. I've never really thought about it like that. Maybe that's how it really was. Don't down yourself for having different views of things. Be glad you're not a clone of everyone else in the world."

Be glad you don't have a mask and you're not made of plastic.

He smiled and looked down at his bowl of popcorn, blushing some more. "There's another way you could look at it."

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Maybe Katniss wanted to trick Peetah. Act like she's going to eat the berries, then not, and trick Peetah into eating them. She would've won it that way if the game maker hadn't stepped in."

"I don't know...I think she cared about Peetah a lot and she wouldn't-"

"But she cared about herself and her family more. You don't know. You never know. You never know how selfish people really are until they show their true colors. And by then...it's usually too late not to get hurt. You're left with psychological burns and wondering why you trusted that person. Why you trust anyone at all."

I was speechless. One minute we're talking about Minecraft and the next we're talking about the human nature of selfishness. He's been hurt so many times before, horribly.

"Sorry," he sputtered out quickly. "I kinda killed the mood."

"You're incredible, you know that?"

"W-What?"

"You are. You're so smart and original and...you're incredible. You make Einstein look like the biggest idiot that ever lived."

"Aw Tom...thank you." His cheeks were the color of tomatoes by now, but I wasn't done with my speech yet, so he was probably gonna turn fifty shades darker by the time I was done.

"And if you're scared I might turn out like the dark version of Katniss, don't be. I don't have a family to go back to and I kind of hate everything about myself. I'd eat the berries with you."

He stayed quiet. He was watching the credits again, an emotionless look in his eyes. "...what if Peetah didn't eat them? And Katniss did?"

Somehow I knew Peetah was a metaphor for him and Katniss was a metaphor for me. What if he was actually selfish and he hurt me.

"Then Katniss would be happy that Peetah could save himself and go back to his family. As long as Peetahs happy, Katniss is too." It would hurt me, but I would be glad that you were happy. Your happiness is all that matters to me anymore.

He smiled and leaned his head on my shoulder. We watched the end credits together until he fell asleep, and then I carried him back to my room and we went to bed.

I pulled up the google search engine and typed in Shipping in Urban Dictionary. I tapped on the first result that came up and waited for it to load. Finally the page loaded and the definition popped up.

SHIPPING

"A term used to describe fan fictions that take previously created characters and put them as a pair. It usually refers to romantic relationships, but it can refer platonic ones as well. (Just think of "shipping" as short for "relationSHIP".)"

Huh. Me and Jordan as a pair. I guess I ship it too?

I typed in OTP next. The result popped up almost immediately and I tapped on it eagerly, before the page began to load again.

OTP

"One True Pairing. Meaning your favorite combination of characters in a fandom."

I snickered at the definition. Jordan and I would be my OTP. Definitely.

"What are you giggling on about Tommy?"

I nearly threw my phone the voice startled me so badly. Nade was standing in the middle of my damn living room, holding Grizz and smiling like he hadn't just broken into my house and picked up my dog like it was his.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" I asked in a whisper as he plopped down on the couch beside me. If Tucker or Sonja find out he's here he's going to get his ass kicked. Tucker and Sonja both know exactly what he did to me and they hate him just as much as I did a few days ago.

"Front door was open. You've got a cute doggy, you know that?" He scratched behind Grizz's ears and the dog yipped happily. The front door was open? Jesus Tucker, come on were gonna get robbed if you keep forgetting to lock the door at night.

"He's not mine," I replied with snappy distaste. "Why did you decide walking through my front door was okay? I could've killed-"

"Shush, I just came to see how things are with Jordy. Did you do it?" He propped up his feet on the coffee table and grabbed the remote, turning on the TV and switching the channel to Nickelodeon. The first thing that popped up was Spongebob, and he didn't change it. We used wake up really early in the morning and watch it together. That was when I used to sneak him in my room at night while my parents were asleep. We'd stay up all night talking about the future, and when the sun came up, we'd watch our show. Then he'd sneak back out after it was over and we'd see each other an hour later at the bus stop. I was such a rotten brat when I was a teenager.

"Did I do what?" I asked a little softer. I shouldn't be so snappy towards him. He was my best friend at one point during my life, he understands me more than most people do.

"Did you bang his cute little butt? I got the text but I wasn't sure if you were gonna actually go through with it. So did you?" He broke into my house to see of I had sex with Jordan. Wow.

"No I didn't have sex with him. Why? Are you jealous or something?"

"Tommy, baby, I'm trying to be supportive here. I brought over some beer for celebration in case you did bang him, but I can see now that it'll have to wait for another day. Seriously, whose dog is this? I wanna take him home and feed him doggy biscuits." He held up Grizz and nuzzled noses with him, and the dog licked his cheek in response. He did always love animals. I wonder why he never became a veterinarian.

"Sorry, can't give him to you. I think one of my roommates have kinda grown on him. Don't you have pets? I would've thought you'd have seventy cats now that you got your own place."

He frowned at my question and sighed, letting Grizz fall back into his lap. "Landlord won't let me have any, not even a damn goldfish. The mans a cold hearted human being."

"Landlord? You got a house?"

"Yup. I share it with two guys. You remember Tony and Josh, right?"

"...the Modestep brothers?" We went to high school with them. Hell, Josh was my booty call for a whole year after Nade and I broke up. Oh who am I fooling? Tony and Josh were both my booty calls that year.

"Yeah. I met up with them at a reunion thing about a year ago and we started talking about rent for some reason...they said I could live at their place for a cheap price. Been living there ever since. You still livin with those two love birds?"

"Yeah and they're probably gonna kick your ass if they find out you're here. You don't exactly have a good rep here."

"You been sayin mean things about me Tommy?"

"Yessir I have."

"So have I," he laughed. I laughed a little too. We're too much alike.

"You really should go though Nade. If Tucker sees you and he's hungover, you don't stand a chance against his golf club."

"Can't I stay a few more minutes? The episode just started." He motioned towards the TV, where another episode of Spongebob was starting. I could from the corner of my eye him giving me big puppy dog eyes, ones that I have really never been able to say no to. I sighed and nodded.

"One more episode. Don't you have to work today or something? I thought you were managing a fabulous clothing store or some shit."

"I only have to go into work three days a week. It pays well, surprisingly. All I do is flirt with the male models of the store and make sure everything looks pretty. I don't think the plastics at the cash register like me too much though." He grinned and I snickered. Of course they don't. Gay doesn't exist in their minds, to them it's an evil curse to them that only sick and disgusting perverts get. "You know I miss watching cartoons with you. Tony and Josh don't appreciate the Spongey yellow man as much as you and I do."

"Wish I could say the same." I'm at least trying to act like I don't miss him. I'm still not sure about the whole jealousy thing. He might just be over here to spy on me or throw fry grease at Jordan for stealing me away from him. Or maybe I'm just being crazy. It's better to be paranoid I guess.

I froze when I felt something soft lean against my shoulder and something even softer brush against my neck. He's leaning against me. "I know you miss me Tommy. You're just like me, and I miss you a lot, so I know you must miss me sometimes. Just admit you miss our cartoon binges. That's all the comforting I'll need from your icy rejection." He said it so dramatically, I almost laughed. But I realized I was still trying to not trust him so I only settled for a smile and another sigh.

"Fine. I miss our cartoon binges."

"Yay!" He cheered, making Grizz yip with happiness. I shushed the both of them and turned back to the screen.

"Episodes almost over Nade. You better get going."

"Yeah yeah, I'm going. But answer me something Tommy, just this one little thing."

"What?" I asked, already irritated.

"Why don't you call me Matty anymore?"

"You know why."

"No I don't. Tell me."

"Matty was a couple nickname, and so is Tommy. You should really stop calling me that."

He rolled his eyes and moved Grizz off of him, before standing up and gathering his stuff to leave. "Tommy isn't a couple nickname..." He mutters, slipping on his leather jacket and brushing a hand through his hair.

"Well what is it then?"

"It's a nickname I gave you because I care about you. You do realize we were best friends before we started dating, right? I gave you the nickname then. You gave me my nickname then. I didn't give you yours because I had a crush on you, but because I cared a lot about you as a friend. I thought maybe I could come over and actually talk to you like I used to. Remember when we used to talk? Like normal people? I guess you don't remember that either." He grabbed his phone off the table and stormed off down the hallway. Shit.

I hurried after him, Grizz trailing behind me as I rushed to catch Nade before he left. "Nade come on, I-"

"No. Shut up." He got right to the front door when I grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Matty I forgot. I'm sorry."

"Oh so now you call me Matty?" He sneered half heartedly, ripping his arm out of my grasp. There were tears in his eyes, angry tears and disappointed ones too. My chest felt like somebody had drove a knife into it. What do I do?

"Stay for breakfast," I bartered weakly, grabbing his hand again. "We'll talk like normal people and I'll make your favorite, blue berry pancakes. We can some more of Spongebob and we can drink a couple cans of beer."

He shook his head and weakly tried to pull his arm away, turning his head away from me so I wouldn't see his tears. "What's the use of being here when you don't even want me here?" He said miserably. "Sonja and Tucker aren't even home. Why didn't you want me here?"

Tell him the truth. He deserves it.

"Do you know how long it took me to recover from our break up? I never did. That day I saw you at McDonalds I almost had a meltdown later on because I still wasn't over you. It's hard, okay? It's hard being friends after all of that shit you said to me before you left. I haven't made any new friends since our break up because you destroyed my view of people. Jordan's the first person I've really let into my entire life since we-"

"It's been six years, I recovered from that mess a month after it happened. We both said awful thing to each other Tommy, it's not like I wasn't hurt too." He managed to pull his arm free, but I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him away from the door. Not the best idea, given the situation, but it was just a normal instinct. He's done this before. Walked out the door to never return again. For six years I've had dreams of grabbing him before he left and begging him, sobbing and pleading with him, not to leave me alone. I had nobody after he left. At least he had people to go back to. I had nobody.

"I know that and I'm not saying I didn't hurt you. But what you said to me really cut deep, you know?" What you said destroyed me.

He sighed, going limp in my arms. "I can't even remember what I said...did I really hurt you that bad?"

You don't even know how bad you hurt me, you bastard.

"Yeah. You did. And I remember every word you and I said before we broke up. See? Were both humans Nade. We both forget things. Stop being mad and stop crying. You're making me have chest pains. I'm too young for this shit."

He laughed a little and hastily wiped his tears with his sleeve. "Can't believe I actually asked you if you wanted to try again...I'm such an idiot."

I pulled away and turned him around, and then I did the same thing again. I hugged him. "You're not an idiot for wanting us back. You're just mildly ignorant. Let's go watch some Spongebob." I wrapped an arm around his shoulders in a comforting platonic way and guided him back to the living room.

I have a lot of things to tell James and Jordan.
~~~
I don't like rude people.

Anyway, hello beautiful people! I hope your day isn't sucking and that you find five monies on the sidewalk as you are walking <3 I love you guys sooooo much and remember to ignore the haters!

Also. Watched Star Wars yesterday. Best movie EVERRRRR!

If you enjoyed the chapter please leave me a favorite or a comment! I appreciate feedback, as long as you're not being mean to meh or others :3 Thank you!

- Lee