‘ girls trapped in towers ’

━━━━━

Late night conversations with Tomoe, learning video games with Tomura, sparring exercises with Kohaku, adding things to her knowledge cache with sensei, turning down alcoholic drinks offered by Kurogiri, the spike of adrenaline at the beginning of every mission.

She saw it all flash in one two three seconds.

"Your weakness is that you are far too invested in pain," Kohaku tells her once. "You have won too many times that your only goal now is to see suffering, to relish in that moment, but some enemies do not have the same goal and luxury like you."

"There will come a time when the most unexpected things come and without quite realizing it, you are already losing, and you cannot rise anymore."

Kaede doesn't listen. That time will come, she knows, but when it does, she guarantees that she will drag down the enemy with her.

"You're on a special quest for EXP," Tomura says at the beginning. "If you succeed, it will help increase our level and if you fail, the league won't be getting points but it would be Game Over for you."

He scratched that neck of his, and any other time, she would have reprimanded him for the obnoxious habit. "Of course, you can respawn if you're strong enough to win over the enemy, but it will be better if you win."

Kaede rolled her eyes. "Stop with the game speak. I'm aware of my task, just tell me how I can achieve it. Heroes are selfish, most of them are," she looked at him and saw all that hate in thousands of nerves in a man. "But they're not stupid so how do I exactly succeed? They will be suspicious. Tomoe and I have been in public unlike you."

She shouldn't have asked. Because the moment All For One told her the answer, she knew what was going to happen. The moment those words escaped his lips, her nerves coiled and tightened and she felt that rational fear drowning her again.

Faraway, she can her those promises breaking, but she's not entirely hurt, because she's known that promises in her world are as fragile as the glass heart she wore on her sleeve in lighter, brighter times. It's over, she doesn't even miss the ashamed expression on Tomoe's face as he tries to apologize through crimson eyes.

He knows that she will not stop, even if this is the risk, even if she drowns. Because Kaede will conquer, she always does.

"Tomoe will use his quirk on you."

━×━

For the first time, Kaede forgets to count. She forgets the seconds, minutes and hours all swirling in her finger tips. It's like heartbreak. There's nothing poetic or beautiful about it.

It's losing total control and only flashes of memories and whispers of wishes that could have beens.

It hurts.

She remembers one night where she spent a day trailing a couple. The number 18 pro-hero with her husband and she was getting so close- so damn close- to finding one of the major drug cartels protected by All For One so Kaede had to kill her. She had to kill the three of them.

The husband, the professional hero... and the baby inside of her.

But she couldn't do it, because Kaede was stupid idiotic weak moronic sentimental idiotic stupid dumb foolish dumb sentimental so Kohaku shoved her away, aimed the gun against the unconscious hero's stomach and shot. Three fucking times.

( Fetus, Kohaku told her. It's not fucking alive and the woman was going to abort it anyway since it would hinder her career. )

( Just flesh, Kohaku said, trying to use his Compulsion on her, but Kaede was still shaking. You need not care about it. )

Kaede weeped. So fucking much, because she thought she was already above these things, so why did it still fucking hurt?

She rested her head against Tomoe's chest that night, his hands stroking her hair and she cried until the sun dawned on the horizon and she screamed. Screamed and screamed. Emptied her eyes of tears and Tomoe traced shapes in her back, but something inside of her continued to throb with pain.

And up until now, it was still aching.

━×━

Her name was Mizuki Kaede. She had to remember that. She was a queen who would rule. A calamity in the making, a disaster waiting to unfold. Words were her weapon, Time her aide. She was weak now, but she will be invincible. She will walk on concrete pavements and leave dust and destruction in her wake.

Her name was Mizuki Kaede. An unnerving gaze and fury beneath blood red eyes, an innocence that's lost and midnight hair barely reaching her pale, scarred shoulders.

Her name was Mizuki Kaede. Abandoned because of envy, accepted because of wrath. She was a deadly girl with the power of time to watch. She knew the exact minutes, hours, years, months and seconds. The murdered minutes, seconds and hours. The final grain of sand falling on the hourglass to denote the denouement of years spent, borrowed.

Her name was Mizuki Kaede. She was a girl with no family. She was a girl of rage. She had no favorite color, no favorite animal. She was a normal girl like any other, just with different pasts and a goddess hidden beneath crimson eyes and pale, tainted skin. Eris blessed her and she delivered discord to those who dare displease her.

Her name was Mizuki Kaede. Name meaning maple like the trees that littered the roadways near the park where her parents met, the soft hues of red, green and orange. Maple trees, sturdy and dying. The piles of fallen leaves littering her childhood and beautiful, but so unlike her beauty. Wherein the maple trees' beauty where in there ephemerality, Kaede's was in her strength. Her capacity to survive.

Her name was Mizuki Kaede. A name given by parents who could have cared. A name forgotten after years of disappearance. A name of a girl with black hair and red eyes and a cruel smile to boot.

Her name was Mizuki Kaede. The girl who went under the teachings of All For One, who wielded a dagger that would break in a matter of hours. The girl who was still disgusted by Shigaraki Tomura's antics but fascinated by his tendency to relate everything to a game. Light blue hair and crimson eyes, a storm present on eyes. They could have been siblings if no one looked close enough.

Her name was Mizuki Kaede. Tomoe called her Kai, to shorten the name, or as an endearment, she didn't need to know.

Her name was Mizuki Kaede. A scorching sensation running through her veins and nausea and pain all melding together and spreading unto different parts of her body. Her own reality being fragmented to pieces and her head being split apart.

Her name was Mizuki Kaede. Fingernails moving and trying to grasp at something only to catch nothing and fall fall fall. Into a chasm of darkness but she had to take control. She had to. She wouldn't let herself be swallowed by this.

Her name was Mizuki Kaede. Promises shared underneath dappled moonlight broken. Unforgiven boys but trusted, but the trust as fragile and as frail it was like a glass sword meant to pierce but could shatter under its own weight had been broken. Deadly but fragile.

Her name was Mizuki Kaede. Girl with a penchant for counting, twelve years, two months, six days, fourteen hours, forty two minutes and eleven seconds of existence.

Her name was Mizuki. Screams, dozens and hundreds and thousands of screams all ready to break glass and a limp form of a girl at the corner of the room, laid to cobalt blue beds like a princess trapped in a tower waiting for a kiss. Waterfalls of moonlight shining on her skin. Mizuki...

Her name was Mizuki... Kaede! She had to remember that. Lips were willed to part open and release a scream but no sound came. A girl, twelve years, eight months, one day, four hours, fifty nine minutes and twenty two seconds, screaming but the entity named Mizuki Kaede willed it to stop.

Her name was Mizuki Kaede. She had to remember. Because failure was not an option and it wouldn't just shatter the trust they placed in the power of a girl, it would fragment her soul to pieces because she's lost too much for this. Gained a few but lost core pieces of herself. Lost her humanity.

Her name was Mizuki Kaede. Deep breaths all around and the boy with snow colored hair and flames in his eyes touched her/her hand and it trembled under his grasp. I'm sorry. That word was beginning to lost its meaning and sooner or later it would be buried beneath memory and fall on deaf ears.

Her name was Mizuki Kaede. Eyeless entities and a smile upon normally placid face. You are strong. Endure. And I promise to be there when you come back to life. I won't break it this time. I will give you flowers worthy of a queen, poetry you prefer and art you loved to create.

Her name was Mizuki Kaede and the entity named Mizuki Kaede was going to die.

--

E N D  O F  C H A P T E R
— s h e d d i n g

□ i shed a few tears while writing the triggering thing up above. sorry if it was unpleasant. this story is labeled mature afterall and although there won't be graphic descriptions on things like child murder, rape, pedophilia, psychotic tendencies, they would still be mentioned. kaede is in a dark environment. no one is going to be coddling her.