Always. That's what he told me, but after Allura's death, I never really saw him again.

"Katie!"

"Yes sir." I snapped back to reality.

"You can't keep doing this. That's why I needed to talk to you today."

"No. You can't. Please, you know how my mother is sick and and."

"And nothing. Katie Holt. You're fired."

"I understand."

I left the office and started speed walking towards the exit. I don't need to clear my desk, they could just throw it all away. Once I made it out the door, tears finally rolled down my face.

"Mom. What am I going to do? You're sick and I can't supply the money to keep you there."

Five months ago, my mom was diagnosed with an untreatable disease. Matt and dad don't even know yet.

I don't know how it happened, but I found myself in a bar. It started with a couple of drinks then I had about twenty. That's when I decided to go home. In a blink of an eye, I found myself in front of my apartment door. Odd.

I searched for my keys and unlocked the door. The first thing I did after locking the door once I entered was grabbed a bottle of wine. It's not as strong as I'd want it, but it's still something. I started taking sips.

"What am I doing with my life?" It's true, I'm a mess. "The other paladins at least did something with theirs. Am I the only one struggling to let go of the past?" I thought about it for a moment then remembered. "THE DINNER! ITS TOMORROW!" Shit. I grabbed the top to the wine and closed it. I can't get drunk, no matter how much it would help me. That's when I heard it, my phone started ringing.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Katie Holt?" It's mom's doctor.

"Yes, this is her speaking."

"I'm sorry to inform you, but your mother passed away a few moments ago."

"What." Everything felt wrong.

"She was sleeping earlier and when we tried to-. Beep!" I clicked the hang up. I dropped my phone.

Fuck this.

I took the wine bottle and chugged it down. When I finished I let it fall onto the floor. Million glass pieces were scattered along the floor. I walked past them and entered my bathroom. Holding the sink, I screamed. I fell to the ground and was uncontrollably crying.

After an hour or so I grabbed the sink once again to support my weight as I stood up. I stared in the mirror and soon I let my lab coat roll down my arms and onto the carpet. I stared at my arms scattered with cuts.

"I said I'd stop. I said I'd quit for you. But your gone." I grabbed the blade I kept hidden inside the mirror. "I can't do this. I'm a mess." I started making cuts. "I'm sorry mom. I love you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"GUYS!!!" Lance screamed from far away. I was catching up with the other paladins when he came. I turned around. "It's so good to see you." He huffed after making his way to us. I smile softly at him. He still has those Altean marks. "You guys changed in a year! And is that Sarah back there?!"

Sarah, Hunk and Shay's daughter looked up at Lance. "Unkie Lance!"

"That's right! Whose your favorite uncle."

"Lance is! Because Keith is grumpy!"

"Hunk." Lance turned towards him. "I love this child." He chuckled.

After a fight between Lance and Keith, we finally walked inside the castle.

"Place has changed a bit." Lance said in amazement. Usually I would be right there beside him in awe, but I just kept walking. "Pidge?"

"Uh yes?" He bought me out of my thoughts.

"Is there something wrong?"

"No." Yes. "Why would you think that?"

"Your quiet. Even when we're in a place filled with amazing technology! By now you would've already asked Coran to be allowed in the engineering room even though your the one who made it."

"I'm just thinking. Nothing is wrong, I'm just a little upset about something."

"You want to talk about it?"

"Maybe at dinner. This isn't about me anyway, today is the day we catch up."

"Yeah, but today just so happened to land on your birthday."

"What." I froze. My birthday? How could I not even remember that!

"Yeah. We thought we should do a surprise for you but your mom never answered our calls." Mom. I thought I could do this. I CANT DO THIS.

"Dinner. Stop talking about that. We have a dinner to get to."

"Ok?" He turned to the others.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Yeah, Shay and I were thinking about settling down a bit. Let Sarah get a rest from space, you know?"

"That would be amazing! You have to come to my farm then."

"Speaking of you. How's your job going?"

"I love it. I guess teaching was made for me. Hunk, buddy, you are the best."

"Aww thanks Lance."

Katie was staring down at her plate. She didn't take a bite and was currently pushing the food around with her fork.

"Pidge. You need to stop playing with the food and EAT IT." Hunk nudged her side. She flinched from contact and he immediately pulled away. Everyone was looking at her now.

"I uh. I should go." Pidge stood up. "I have a project to finish."

"I thought you said you finished everything."

"I just have to go!" She raised her voice slightly. "I'm sorry Hunk. I shouldn't have done that."

"No, your right. You should go."

"Yeah. Well bye." She waved before walking towards the castle's big doors.

"Ok now I can't be the only one seeing something wrong with Pidge." Lance huffed.

"Definitely. I noticed it the whole time, but Pidge is the type to keep to herself. I knew she wouldn't explain it to us." Hunk sighed.

"I'm gonna go after her." Lance stood up.

"You think that's a great idea? I mean she doesn't seem too happy." Keith questioned.

"Yeah. I'm sure." Lance started walking out of the castle as well to follow Pidge.

"You're a failure! You left them, just like that." Katie growled as she continued to walk which turned into a slight jog.

"Failure?" Lance whispered. This was the amazing Katie Holt. The one who invented things out of this world, the girl that could do the impossible! How was she a failure?

As soon as he knew it, Lance was outside of a bar. He stood there frozen, contemplating wether or not he should go in. What was Pidge doing in a bar anyway?

Going in was his best bet. He walked inside and immediately started to search for her. She looked already tipsy and was gulping down a drink.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the 8th drink, it started to kick in. Must've been from yesterday. I looked around the room. Maybe there's a guy here who would be interested? But then the cuts...

I sighed. How long am I going to do this for?

Seconds, minutes, probably even an hour passed by. I couldn't keep count on how many drinks I've had, but it was definitely more than 20. Maybe too much, but it's not like I care. I'm surprised my lab coat even stayed this clean.

I saw a guy. He was looking at me all night, and from what I could tell he looked like I guy I wouldn't be looking for a second date with. Perfect. I walked over to him and immediately wrapped my arms around his neck. Before I could get a word in, I was already pushed away, but not by him.

"Oh no you don't!" Lance pulled me away. "I knew should've stopped you sooner!" He dragged me out of the bar and into the night streets. I didn't really understand what was happening until he started screaming. "What were you thinking?! I know it's your birthday and everything, but you can't just leave us to go and get drunk!" He stared into my eyes. "That was childish and you know it! What happened to you?! Come on, I'm taking you home!" I blinked a few times before he started dragging me somewhere else.

"No." I whispered.

"No?!"

"Yeah, no! What if I wanted to stay there?! What if I actually wanted to get with that guy?!"

"That's just the alcohol talking."

"I may be a little tipsy, but I'm not all that drunk. I don't know how many drinks I've had-."

"35." He cut me off.

"What?"

"You've drank 35 drinks." His face filled with worry and concern that frankly, I didn't care about.

"What I'm saying is. I can get home myself."

"No you can't, so let's go. I'll bring you to my car. Shouldn't be too far off, I did bring it over here after 30 minutes of you drinking."

"Lance, could you just leave me alone!"

"I can't! I'm too worried about you!" He gripped my wrist tighter to which I winced.

"Let go of me. Now." I tried snatching my hand away, but he only gripped it tighter once again.

"Can't you see, I care about you?!"

"No I can't! You've never cared about me!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb. We both knew since you started dating Allura, you stopped caring about me."

"That's not true. I care about you just as much as I do for her."

"Bullshit. Even when she died you cared about her more than you ever did for me."

"Katie, I don't know what's wrong, but I want you to know I love you. What would I do without you? Of course I care!"

"Lance if you lie to me one more time! I can't get my hopes up."

"Not again." I whispered.

A/N:
Oh yeah there's definitely gonna be a part 2.