Rachel wakes to the steady bumping of the van travelling over a dirt road. A gentle morning breeze brushes over her from the window and blows strands out of her ponytail. She remembers last night. And she smiles.

Finally a good night's sleep. And they'll be in the palace by the end of the day.

She forces her eyes open, and glances to her right, expecting to see Ethan. She sees Evie. On the brink of tears.

A quick glance tells her that there is no Ethan in the van. And Evie's face tells her what happened. Her good mood flickers and dies as it crashes into the water, smothering the world in darkness.

Rachel takes a deep breath. In. Out.

Turning to Evie, she opens her mouth. But before she can say anything, Evie speaks, "I'm sorry," she says, her lip trembling and her voice shaking, "I had to tell him. And now I've ruined everything. I'm so, so sorry."

Rachel wants to scream. Ethan's smart, sure, but if a Red attacks him? He won't stand a chance. He can't survive on his own.

Why can't Evie understand simple things like this?

Because she hasn't had much, or any, experience with normal people, there comes the voice of reason. Worming it's way into Rachel's mind and forcing her to calm down, when all she wants is to punch something, Because she's been desperate for a home for so long, and now that she's found the beginnings of one, she took things too far.

"Evie," Rachel says, as calm as possible, "Stop driving. You're gonna get us killed."

The car stumbles to an unsteady halt, and Evie buries her face in her hands. The golden locks that Rachel knows Evie cares about fall over Evie's face in tangled heaps, "I'm really sorry. I swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Please don't leave me," the bitterness in Rachel melts a little at the genuine fear in Evie's voice.

"I'm not going to leave you, Evie," Rachel gently lifts Evie out of the driver's seat, "Come on. I'll get us to the palace, and then we can use your power as princess to find Ethan. It's gonna be fine."

Ethan should be able to last that long. If they rush, Rachel could get them to the palace before sunset. And... hopefully the plague will consume her after the cure is created. Until after Ethan is found.

Because there's no way Evie will be able to lead a search on her own. Not in this state.

Rachel says, "It's fine, Evie. I forgive you," not completely true, "But if you drive us into a tree, I might not anymore."

Evie gives in, sniffling as she climbs into the back seat. Rachel doesn't remind her that she can sit shotgun if she wants.

The words just won't come out.

________________________

I know that Rachel's angry. Her voice has lost the soothing edge that is always there when she's talking or being the perfect person that she is. It's been replaced with a roughness that I heard a hint of when the Red killed Carter. I deserve it, I know.

I deserve it.

I've decided it's best to stay back here, where she can't see me. I'll leave her alone, let her think in silence. I wish I could silence my crying as well, but every time I try to take a deep breath and calm down, it starts up a whole new fit.

Rachel is going to leave me. I know it. As soon as we reach the palace, she's going to leave me there and never come back. And then I'll be back where I started. I'll be broken and weak and too cowardly to help my country. I'll lose myself in day after day of silence and guilt and echoes and memories. I'll give in. Again.

I deserve it.

______________________________

Rachel keeps her eyes on the road. They've been driving for an hour, but it feels like days.

She can't keep this up anymore.

And... Oh god, who's going to rule the country? The people aren't going to accept anyone but the Clark family, although they will shun them for generations. Because people are... complicated.

The only way for the country to move on is if Evie takes the throne and proves herself. And there is no way Evie is strong enough to prove herself.

Not to Achain.

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The palace is getting closer. And I want nothing more than to get out of this tiny van and finally reach home. Home, where I can finally sort out my life. Home, where we can find Ethan and I can maybe earn Rachel's forgiveness.

I don't dare let myself hope to earn Ethan's.

_____________________________

The sun is beginning to set when Rachel parks the van outside the back gates of the palace. Rachel's glad they arrived at night. That's when most of the rioters go home.

As Rachel steps out of the van, she trips, catching herself on the van door. Her head is swimming. Her breathing coming in short gasps. She grunts.

She stands there for a moment, staring at the grass and taking long, shaking breaths. When her vision clears, she sees Evie. Standing and staring with wide, concerned eyes.

Coming to her senses, Rachel realizes that she's unsheathed her blade, "Sorry," she says.

Evie isn't satisfied.

Rachel takes a deep breath in. She needs to admit it. There's no doubt about it now. All of the signs are there. The strong emotions? The half mental breakdowns? Waking up holding a blade?

She's a Red. A victim. And she needs to wake up and acknowledge it or someone might get hurt.

"Evie," Rachel says, "I need to tell you something."