Ignorance is bliss.

Or so they say.

I don't know who first said that, or how everyone seems to think that it's true. Ignorance isn't bliss and bliss isn't ignorance. Sure, when you're a kid what you don't know won't kill you. I think that's the best part of being a kid: imagining the possibilities. When you're young, the sky is the limit and anything could be possible. As you grow up, this philosophy changes into something... worse. Yeah, you still have ignorance but it's not bliss. Instead of wondering over the possibilities you begin to fear the possibilities. It's not the ignorance that scares you, it's the possibility of not knowing what's to come that really bites you in the butt.

And as soon as those words left Julien's mouth, ignorance was no longer bliss. My mind raced through countless possibilities of what could have gone utterly and horribly wrong. My memory jumped to the last time I had seen him, early this morning when he had woken me up to say he was going fishing and would be back later. I had simply just grumbled something and rolled back over to go to sleep. My chest heaved and my heart thundered in my chest, anxious and paranoid. This was wrong. "I just saw him this morning," I protested, stumbling back a little. I fell into the comforting arms of Jay, who looked just as panicked as I felt.

This wasn't right. I kept repeating that over and over in my head as if it would change the reality of the situation. Julien's just mistaken. It's fine. I willed it to be true. I prayed to anything and anyone who would listen that he was wrong. Hopelessly and utterly wrong.

But that wasn't Julien and that wasn't my fate. Unfortunately. He wasn't wrong and the look of utter horror and terror and fear on his face made my stomach churn. I steeled my nerves and stumbled towards him. He snatched my hand and pulled me from the shop, the jingle of the bell seeming more sinister. He flung open the door to a ratty Jeep, gently pushing me forward as he ran and clamored into the drivers seat.

"Talk to me Julien." I breathed, panicking. The way he seemed panicked only made me even more so. Everything seemed going agonizingly slow around us, the sea gulls cawing, the surfers crossing the road, his driving. We jolted forward as he drove north, opposite of where my father usually went fishing. I turned in my seat and looked back at the shop and down the road.

My heart fell to my toes, going stiff as a board as a wailing cop car sped past and around us, going the same direction we were. Please no. Please please be okay, Dad. I begged and wished as I watched the police cars fly by. Julien's hand found mine and I squeezed it as if it was my life line.

Maybe it was.

Tears welled in my eyes and I repeated my request. "Please, talk to me."

Zane gave me a worried glance and let out a breath through his teeth. "I was hoping that maybe you would like to come with the team and I to Tortuga sometime this week." He fell silent and I heaved. "To remember old times by. Also, of course, to pay our respects to Timmy."

"Timmy would like that."

"I do hope so. Then also, we could go south to the aquarium."

"And pet the dolphins?"

"I am quite sure Lloyd and Jay would love to assist you in petting said dolphins." Julien turned to give me a small smile before he swerved off to the right, following the lights from the police cars.

I swallowed and squeezed my eyes shut before kicking open the Jeeps door. Zane did the same from his side and came to stand at my side, there if I needed him. Though I was unable to say it, I was grateful for the gesture.

And this is where the ignorance really hits you. When you are no longer ignorant and wondering and surmising. You know, and once you do know, you wish for the ignorance to return.

I did so then.

We stood, toes on the edge of a small drop off of rocks and boulders which eventually eased into the soft white sand of the beach. Driftwood littered the shore line, the gentle waves crashing and slapping against the sand as if all was right in the world.

Yellow tape blocked us from venturing down the face of the small cliff, police and medical examiners swarming the beach.

White sand turned deep red from the pool of blood which came from around the body of my father. I fell into the arms of Zane as medical workers came and pronounced him dead.

The blanket, by now, should have been soaked through and through with my tears. It swaddled me and held me, a tiny source of warmth and comfort. The shop no longer held the spark of joy it once had. It was quiet and empty and impossibly sorrowful. Our wind chimes were silent, the cats snuggled together somberly as if they too knew something had gone awry. Like they knew something was missing and hopelessly wrong. I couldn't bring myself to go upstairs. It felt wrong and awful to even consider going to my home without him there.

He would never be there again.

I let out a heavy sigh, wiping my wet face on the blanket. At my side, Julien straightened and wiped his face.

"Would you like for me to stay the night?" He murmured and I gave a tiny nod, not looking up from the sandy hardwood floor. "...Would you like for the rest of the team to stay as well?" Another nod.

As he went to stand, I immediately regretted my choice. "Wait, please don't leave me." I said in a small voice, reaching up to grab his arm. His blue eyes welled with tears and he nodded, coming to sit at my side again. I crawled closer, yearning to feel something other than sorrow and hurt and brokenness. I felt his arms wrap around me after he sent a message from his phone.

What I would have given then for that ignorance. I wished and wanted so badly to not know. I would have rather lived under the delusion that he was missing and could still be alive rather than know the cold, hard truth of his death. I sobbed, my head rested against my old friend's chest. I just wanted my dad. I wanted him to walk through the doors and ask to go diving or surfing or tell me not to get sunburnt. I wanted him to come home.

The chasm in my heart only grew when the door jingled open, the ninja shuffling in, silent for such a usually rambunctious group. Each carried armfuls of pillows and blankets and sleeping bags. Nya wrenched me from Zane's grip to put me in a suffocating hug of her own. I let out a staggering breath and pressed my face into her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry..." she whispered into my hair and I shook. We slid down to sit and I wiped my face with the back of my hand. They had formed a circle, the wagons had been circled and I was what they were protecting. Never in my life had I felt so loved by a group of people I had known for such a small amount of time.

I'm glad they were here. It was kind and caring and safe. And after the police had ruled my dads death a homicide, I needed safe.

Maybe ignorance really is bliss. Maybe bliss is not knowing the feeling of being hurt. Maybe it's the idea that what you don't know really can't hurt you. Not the knowledge of your fathers death, not the fact that he was killed.

Well still, the wagons had been circled and my wrapping myself in numerous blankets made caterpillars jealous. I sat in the middle of the group of Ninjago's protectors and I let my tears flow.

"I brought you some food. And icecream." Cole piped up, pushing their hardback cooler closer to me. I breathed a shaky laugh and let out a breath that had been furled in my lungs.

"I should've know you would have turned to comfort food." I muttered and rummaged around in the cooler before snatching the half gallon of cookies and cream.

"I also offer hugs." He said and opened his arms wide which I hurriedly crawled into. I was swamped in his embrace since he was so much larger than me and I relished the feeling of being protected. When I crawled away, Cole handed me a spoon with a gentle smile. I took it and worked on devouring the tub of sweet goodness.

"That's Zane's icecream." Jay said with a goofy grin. "He makes the best icecream."

"I knew it." I muttered and plopped down beside Julien, as close to him as I could get. I needed to feel that I wasn't alone.

They stayed with me until the sun set and rose again the next day. They took turns staying up with me and talking to fill the silence when I couldn't sleep. They listened and let my tears soak their shoulders as I cried and waited and sobbed.

Nya had braided and unbraided and rebraided my hair until I fell asleep, face swollen and eyes dried out from the amount of tears that had I had cried.

I blinked my dry eyes open to a warm beam of sunlight running through the windows and into my face. With a groan, I rolled over, limbs smacking into the others dog piled practically on top of me. For a sweet simple moment, my groggy brain had forgotten the previous day's events and allowed me a moment of bliss before it all came crashing down. I bolted upright, a wail escaping from my soul. I pressed my hands into my eyes, hard, as I bit my lip to silence my cries. I wanted the others to sleep and rest, knowing how much they had done for me.

I flinched as arms wrapped around me before leaning to the embrace. "He's gone and I don't want to believe it." I sobbed into Julien's shoulder. He rubbed my back with a hand, holding me right.

"I am so sorry, Y/n." He breathed, gently rocking me. "I am so very sorry. I understand how awful you must feel."

I only managed to nod, my mind recalling how he had told me before that he had lost both of his parents.

Now it seemed I had, too.

"How did you cope?" I asked, wiping my face dry with a hand.

He fell silent before giving a gentle sigh. "I threw myself into my ninja training. I worked overtime because if I could not save my parents then I would work my best to save Ninjago."

I nodded into his shoulder, giving a shuddering, guttural breath. "I don't know what I'm going to do. What am I supposed to do?"

"You are to keep on living." Julien whispered, his eyes finding mine. "It will look quite different, but you must continue on."

"I don't want it to be different. I want my dad back."

"I know." He wiped my face dry of tears again and gave a gentle smile. "I am so sorry."

I snapped away from him as a knock at the door startled me and made everyone else stir.

A voice came from the other side of the old wooden door, which brought me back to reality in an instant.

"Miss Y/n? It's the sheriff, honey. We need to ask you a few questions involving your father's murder."