A/N: Sorry for the slightly late update, I'm swamped. With business.

The song is called Cortina from a musical called Made in Dagenham, and this entire post is sort-of an inside joke with some friends (you know who you are), but to sum up, the song was catchy. The video above is said song. You can hopefully enjoy this joke post.

3rd person POV

After the war, Leo learnt how to make monster-proof phones. The Hephaestus cabin and him decided to make such phones for everyone in both the camps.

One day, at about 2am, Leo was chilling and eating skittles while surfing up random stuff on youtube (he was bored), and he came across this song...and that's when things went nuts.

10 MINUTES LATER - (Whatsapp group chat of the seven)

Jason: guys are you online?

Percy: yh, i'm there, sup

Jason: we need your help.

Hazel: Hello!

Hazel: Sure, I can help, as long as it doesn't require me actually being there, coz me and Frank r at Camp Jupiter. What's the problem?

Jason: it's leo.

Percy: oh dam- i hear it

Jason: yep. he's singing. also, dam??? that doesn't seem right.

Percy: noooo bro, dam is always right. dam is da only right.

Jason: ...okay then

Percy: ☺

Annabeth: Hi, Jason, don't question it, you're wasting you're time. Percy has had this 'dam' joke since we both held up the sky and I still don't understand what the joke is.

Annabeth: Also, what is that infernal racket? (what I originally came here to ask)

Piper: u can hear him too?

Jason: you and Percy HELD UP THE SKY?

Percy: heyyyo wize girll, sssup. also, yhh dude, we held up da skyyyyyy, dat's n0t rlly a big dealll

Annabeth: PERSEUS JACKSON, CORRECT YOUR SPELLING. I know you do this just to annoy me, I swear to the gods...

Piper: Guys, the real issue here- oh look I got a msg from Leo...oh no...

Hazel: What?

Leo: IT'S A CAR FOR ME, IT'S A CAR FOR YOU, AND AFTER THE MARK ONE COMES THE... MARK TWOOOO!

Hazel: Never mind, I know now

Annabeth: By Hercules, he's invaded Whatsapp too!

Frank: Guys, anyone know why Leo is spamming me with messages on what I think is a car.

Jason: hi Frank, and yes, it's a car. it's definitely a car.

Leo: WELL YOU BUY A MARK TWO COZ YOU KNOW YA OUGHTA, IT'S LIKE A MARK ONE ONLY FRACTIONALLY SHORTER-

Frank: I think Leo's life could be summed up by "fractionally shorter"-

Piper: rofl

Percy: lol hey i can hear nico swearing frm here

Piper: isn't his cabin across camp from yours? his cabin isn't near any of ours

Percy: his voice is coming frm the apollo cabin...

Percy: wait...

Percy: ohmygods ohmygods ohmygods nico is spending da nite with will! its finally happening yes we will cheer this on and come on guys i need a ship name-

Annabeth: I know it's not the time, but how about 'Solangelo'?

Jason: SOLANGELO! YES WE WILL SHIP THIS FOR ETERNITY!!!!!
~deleted message~ ^^^

Jason: ...i mean... 'solangelo' sounds cool but i'm not that invested in it, i'm busy being chill...

Leo: CORRTIIIIINNAAAA!!! IT'S LEANER AND IT'S MEEEAAAAANNEEER!

Frank: ...

Percy: jason we're gonna hv to fanboy over solangelo later- 4 now, guys dis is bad.

Piper: you think?

Annabeth: Yes, Percy, your grammar is inexplicably bad. Well spotted.

Percy: i meant leo's caterwauling

Annabeth: You used the word I taught you, I'm so proud!

Percy: ☺

Leo: CORRTIIIIINNAAAA!!! IT COMES IN WHITE... OR CRREEEAAAAAMMEEER!

Percy: ...or creamer? is dat an actual lyric?

Piper: that's what you're worried about? really?

Frank: he has a point

Jason: oh gods... guess what i found...5 empty packets of skittles... this explains a lot.

Leo: TWO-DOOR FOUR-DOOR IF YOU CAN AFFORD MORE, DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA... I FORGET THIS BIT, BUT I THINK I KNOW THE REST!

Percy: di immortales

Hazel: Skittles? Oh no. Pls tell me he's not gone hyper.

Jason: we could, but that would be a lie. sorry, hazel.

Piper: oh gods. every time he gets high on skittles he howls the last song he heard. i should hv known...remember, last time it was 'Phoenix' by Fall Out Boy

Percy: man, dat was a long nite

Annabeth: Guys, we need a plan- he's not going to let any of us sleep.

Leo: DUBBA-DUBBA DUBBA-DUBBA DUBBA-DUBBA DUBBA-DUBBA DUBBA-DUBBA DUBBA-DUBBA DUBBA-DUBBA DUBBA-DUBBA DUBBA-DUBBA DUBBA-DUBBA DUBBA-DUBBA DUBBA-DUBBA DUBBA-DUBBA DUBBA-DUBBA DUPPPP...

Jason: ok, annabeth's right.

Piper: ...how is he typing this stuff out so fast?!

Frank: Cant you guys just knock him out or something??? Like- hit him on the head with a ball... or a bow...or a sledgehammer...

Leo: CORTINAAAAAA... A WHOOHOOWHOOHOOWHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Percy: or i could shove a whole load of water on him and maybe once hes drenched he wud come to his senses, riiight? pleeeeaaaaaseee???

Annabeth: As entertaining as those ideas sound, wouldn't charmspeaking him to sleep, or shut up or something, be a better idea?

Piper: on it, rn

Hazel: Y did we not think of that bfore?

Leo:

Frank: I personally think knocking him out should still be our go-to move.

Hazel: Frank, they aren't going to knock him out...

Leo: SELF ADJUSTING BREAKS FORSFDEFGHYRDXD STRF FFG HELPGDWRFF,,,,

~one minute later~

Percy: hey pipes! u got him to shut up! wow ur charmspeak must b rlly powerful if it got leo to shut up

Piper: nah, i just knocked him out with a hockey stick. frank was very convincing.

Frank: ☺☺

Annabeth: Piper, we are at Camp Half Blood. Where did you get a hockey stick, and more importantly, WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE ONE?

Piper: ...clarisse gave it to me

Percy: since when were u and clarisse frnds???

Piper: since after the war... i used to see her while helping out with chuck. we became friends around then and she gave me a really cool hockey stick for christmas...

Annabeth: ...

Percy: ...idek wat 2 say rn...u know wat? nvm

Jason: well, i've watched this conversation unfold for long enough, so i'm going to get some sleep while i can. i suggest you do the same. good night, guys.

Hazel: g'night!

Frank: good nite ppl

Percy: gnsd

Piper: Gn

Annabeth: Good night.

10 MORE MINUTES LATER

Percy: wat do u think bessie's been up to these past few weeks, i miss her-

Everyone: Percy! It's 2am! GO TO SLEEP.

Percy: fine, fine...gods im feeling so attacked rn, honestly, i mean, it's not like i asked whether pigeons have feelings or sumthing, i'll just sleep, fine...

A/N: If you've finished reading this and you're thinking, 'whoever wrote this is really weird', then I'd honestly have to agree with you.

Oh yeah, please also, if it isn't too much to ask, vote or comment or something to give me a sense of purpose. Thanks.