• If you get White Chicks flashbacks the second you hear this song, we can roll together any day •

As Fiona walked into the Dec after school, something was definitely wrong.

It was much more silent than usual, even with all the music blasting from the occupied studios, there was a different kind of quiet today. The other kids weren't lingering in the halls like they used to. It was odd...

Fiona went up to the counter to check if studio 13 was unlocked yet, the one her and Adam always booked, but found that it wasn't. The key was still there. And that's when she knew what was wrong.

Adam wasn't there.

Looking around with slight confusion, Fiona scanned the DanceDec for the sound of his unmistakable laugh and realized why it was so quiet. If Adam was there, all she had to do was find whichever room was the loudest or whichever group of people was the largest. That boy had a thing for being the center of attention... but there was no hoard of people gathered around somewhere to catch his contagious energy.

The doors behind her suddenly burst open. Fiona spun around, and to her surprise, saw a panting Adam come running in with his school and gym bags. He barely noticed her in his hurry, but then finally stopped when he spotted her standing there.

"Oh, hey!" He flashed her a quick smile. "Sorry I'm late, I missed my bus. Give me five minutes, I'll be right there! Go warm up!"

And with that, he bolted up the stairs and into the girls bathroom.

Despite his order, Fiona stayed put for another second. His tardiness suddenly wasn't what concerned her any longer, but rather something else.

The uniform he had been wearing when he had raced in.

As Fiona slowly started climbing the stairs and headed towards studio 13, the pieces started to click inside her head.

She knew that school tie had looked familiar—that day he had tied it around her eyes when he wanted her to dance blindly and trust him, she had thought something about it looked familiar, but she had been too nervous to connect the dots. Now, after seeing his full uniform, she knew.

She had just started warming up on the floor inside the studio when the door to the studio opened. Adam came in, still slightly winded, but now changed into his usual gray sweats and a black T-shirt. He gave her a smile as he walked past her, dumped his bag down and went straight for the stereo with his phone to plug it in. "Sorry about that. How far are we?"

Fiona looked at him. Again, she felt like it wasn't her place to ask, it didn't concern her, but she had to know; Only kids with a background wore that school tie.

"You go to McCuvey's?"

Adam halted up and slowly looked at the stereo. Then, turning his head slightly, he gave her a small smile. "Yeah."

So it was true. He was a criminal.

Every kid from the block knew that all thugs from around here ended up in one school after they got out of juvie. Unless they had rich parents that could get them into a better school, there was only one school that accepted all the rejects of the neighborhood and provided them with a uniform to make them feel part of something.

– And that's where the McCuvey-juvie necktie had gotten its name from.

"Does that change anything for you?" Adam voiced, after a moment where Fiona did nothing but stay silent. She was having a hard time processing the Adam that stood before her fitting the bill of a street thug.

"I... I don't think so," She said, but felt an uncertainty in her chest. How could he be a criminal? Adam? The hyper-active, always-happy smiling boy who brought sunshine with him wherever he went? Was it all just... an act?

Adam laid his phone down and slowly walked over to where she was stretching on the floor. He sat down and grabbed her foot and bent it and rolled it around to help her stretch. "It wasn't like that, Fee. I was in juvie, but it wasn't for a hardcore crime. You can ask me, you know. It's not a secret."

Fiona looked up. Most people preferred not to talk about their dark past, and if they did, they always did it with a somber look.

Adam was meeting her eyes with his jungly green ones, smiling a little with a crooked lip. He didn't seem like he was about to have a series of traumatic flashbacks. Instead he looked like he was open to discuss his delinquent past.

And maybe, that was the reason why Fiona took a deep breath and slowly asked.

"Why'd you do time?"

His smile stretched and he released a sigh. Letting go of her foot, he then joined her in the stretching.

"I was young and stupid. I was alone and I wanted to fit in, and everyone was either part of a gang or joining a gang. So, I joined a gang."

Fiona watched as he followed her lead when she stretched her legs out in a middle split. She leaned over forward on her elbows and pointed her toes, and so did he. "So you got busted while riding with a crew?"

He laughed and shook his head. "Naw. I almost wish it was something as cool-sounding as that, but it was much less fancy, I'm afraid. I was too energetic to be part of a gang, so they got me delivering products instead."

"A mule?" Fiona asked. She'd seen those kids around the block. They were easy to spot if you knew what to look for. In their world, it was the same as passing a test; showing that you were loyal and willing to do the hard work. Once you paid your dues, you were in—provided you didn't fuck up along the way.

Adam nodded. "I didn't know what I was carrying, only that my backpack had a padlock, and if the padlock was gone by the time I arrived at my destination, I would get a front window in my head. Considering the crew I hung with, that was an easy threat."

Shit, Fiona thought. She couldn't imagine him being a part of that – the smiling, positive fool in front of her trafficking drugs through town. Things must've been bad for him back then if he decided to join a gang. And that was even harder to imagine.

"So my job was to ride the merch to the dealers and ride back again with the money. It was an easy gig as long as I didn't open the bag," He told. "All I had to do was be one place, then another. Always the same route."

"So, what happened?"

"I got tagged," He shrugged. "Some cops started noticing my daily routines. They didn't have probable cause to stop me, though. I was a school-kid with a backpack, nothing out of the ordinary there, so they started following me instead. One day they flashed their lights at me to spook me and I shat a brick," He chuckled. "I tried to bike from them in my stupor, which was about the dumbest thing I could've done."

That much was true, Fiona thought. That was the golden rule; you didn't run from the cops if you were innocent. Only the guilty ran.

"Obviously they ended up catching me," Adam continued. "They caught me in an alley and busted me. I was in for three months."

"Three months?" Fiona slightly gaped.

"That's a low sentence," Adam pointed out. He shifted off his elbows and leaned towards one foot. "I had no priors and the cops took pity on me. I could've gotten away jail free if I wanted."

"So why didn't you?"

"There's one thing you don't do on the street, and that's rat," Adam finally stood up and rolled his shoulder blades around. "I didn't tell them anything, and it probably saved my life. Had I gotten out after being copped, the crew would've known I blabbed and then probably killed me. If I went to juvie, they knew I didn't flab my gums. I got out of that life the second after I got released on parole. Been dancing my problems away since," He finished with a grin.

Fiona was astounded. Even after all that, he had come back smarter and happier. She was sure he was making it sound easier than it really was, though – nothing ever went away that easily. Breaking from a community like that always had its fallouts.

"How long ago was this?"

"Five years. I was fourteen."

"Fourteen?!" She shouldn't have been surprised, but she still was. Most kids started getting into shit around that age, but again, it just didn't seem at all like Adam.

"That's right. You're hanging with an ex-con," He winked. He then walked back up to the stereo and shook his head. "That life is behind me now. I've walked a thousand miles and then some to get past it, and I made it to the other side. I'm all about this life now."

And just like that, happy music started blasting from the stereo as he pushed a button. Fiona sighed and rolled her eyes when like a switch, the Adam she knew was back again. He started laughing and smirking when she watched him jerk his finger at her with an annoyed face, urging her to the dance floor.

"That's enough history for now," He said as she stood up reluctantly. "We're on a mission, remember? Today we're doing freestyle. Now, since you don't actually know any freestyle, I'm going to be teaching you some. Just a few basic moves—kind of like the ABC's of dancing."

"Right," Fiona sighed. Just once, she would've wished he didn't choose such an upbeat song, but something more mellow. But Adam and mellow didn't go together in a sentence.

And now, after knowing his past, maybe she knew why.

He had been through his dark times and he had no intentions of going back. Music, for whatever reason, had been his light, and it was through music that he had found himself. And dancing.

And as they started dancing and Adam begun teaching her the steps, Fiona couldn't help but think of what life he would've had today if he hadn't found his true passion.

And where she would be right this moment without him.

~~~

Fiona was wicking sweat like a window on a rainy day. Her skin shone with perspiration and her muscles ached and burned. They had been dancing for nearly three hours, non-stop.

"Five, six, seven, eight!" Adam clapped his hands in tact with the beat, standing besides her and doing the steps along with her. Fiona's eyes were pinned on the mirror in front of them, but she could tell Adam was looking straight at her. She was struggling with the steps, not because they were hard, but because she still didn't feel comfortable doing them. They didn't feel like her, didn't feel like ballet.

– But that was the whole point, as Adam had said.

"Again," Adam ordered when she finished the routine. She heaved out a breath and crutched forward on her knees. "Come on, Fee. One last time. Own them this time. And five, six, seven, eight..."

Fiona took a deep breath, but then bust out in the moves as Adam joined her. They did the steps together, Adam doing them like he had done them since in the womb. Fiona tried her best to copy his moves, but she still only saw a stiff, much more robotic version of herself in the mirror compared to Adam.

"Alright, that's enough," He blew out a breath and then nodded. "Good start. We'll pick it up again tomorrow and then start you up with some new routines as well. Great job, Fee."

Great job. For some reason, those words sounded like mockery in Fiona's ears. Or like the words you told a five year old when they handed you a badly drawn picture.

Fiona walked towards her gym bag without a word and sat down, reaching inside to get her water bottle. She pulled the cap and drank from it like she was parched, which she was. Behind her, she heard Adam unplug the music while breathing heavily.

Fiona stayed silent for a moment. It was day four of their training, yet she felt like she had done no progress so far. She had learned some baby steps within other genres than ballet, but how was she supposed to master them in just three weeks? Was she fooling herself here, thinking she even stood a chance?

Suddenly, there came a knock on the door. Fiona froze up, but Adam walked up and opened it, then grinned tiredly when he saw who was behind it. "My coffee toffee!"

"Hey," Kalo grinned back. She walked in and looked between them. "You ready? Are you finishing up?"

"Yeah, just give me a second," Adam walked up to his bags and then crouched down to Fiona. "You did a swell job today, Fee. You really did, just don't get too hung up in your head about the flow. Just let it happen. It'll come naturally in the end."

She glanced towards Kalo who was leaning in the doorway, looking into the mirror and fixing her hair. "Do you two have plans?"

Adam smiled. "Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow, though, right? No weekends off."

Fiona nodded silently. She then watched Adam get up, but not before giving her a pat on the shoulder and a good squeeze. "Get home safe, tutu."

Turning, he then walked up to Kalo who grinned and scrunched her nose when Adam tried to give her a bear hug. She said something about him being sweaty and stinky and not wanting to ruin her outfit. Adam laughed at that and instead followed her out, giving her ass a slap. As usual. They walked downstairs together, disappearing out of sight from Fiona who stayed behind in the studio.

Fiona sat silently on the floor, legs outstretched. She was absolutely drained and exhausted, but her heart and mind were still running hotter than her body.

What was she even doing here? Fiona looked around the big empty studio and watched the cracked walls and floors and the places where the large mirrors were broken.

Maybe all of this was stupid. Maybe Adam was wasting his time trying to teach her something that would never happen. Becoming a dancer was a one in a million dream come true. And that was if you were a natural – a prodigy. And there she was, struggling to make a few freestyle steps clash together not totally terribly – and failing.

Fiona lowered her eyes and felt the tears well up in her eyes. She pressed her lips tightly together and felt the weight on her heart.

She had wanted to be a dancer ever since she was little, so much so she had begged her dad to sign her up for lessons, even when they didn't have much money to spend. He finally caved when her heart wouldn't let go of the dream—he would've done anything for her, and he did. He cleaned out their old garage so she could have a space large enough to practice her pirouettes. He checked out books at the library, became her coach so she could improve every single day to reach her dream.

He did everything for her, yet all he ever truly wanted was to see his baby girl happy. He died for her happiness, and now his death felt like it had happened in vain.

A tear trickled down Fiona's chin. She quickly wiped it away and cupped her face, shaking away the thoughts.

She couldn't give up. She wouldn't. She refused to let her own fatigue stop her, refused to see an end to it, even if all hope felt lost. It wasn't over yet.

Blowing out a breath, Fiona slowly lifted her head and looked into the studio again.

God acted strange sometimes. He tested people and she had to believe this was her test. She had been on the cusp of giving up when he sent Adam to her... pushed him into her life. He could've chosen to walk away from her, she meant literally nothing to him in his life, but he still chose to help her. Why? She still didn't understand, still questioned his motives.

Sighing, Fiona slowly got up and walked to the center of the floor.

All these questions in her head weren't important. All that mattered now was how she spent her time and pushed herself towards her goal. Adam was going to help her with that, but in the end, she had to do it herself. She had to dance, she had to feel those steps... she had to make her own dream come true.

Closing her eyes, Fiona took a deep breath and then exhaled through her mouth. She faintly heard music playing from the other studios, the few kids who were still here. The Dec was open till 10pm, which left her two more hours to practice.

Feeling her muscles ache and twitch in protest, Fiona pushed out a hard breath and focused on the mirror.

She would make this happen for herself. For herself... and for her dad.

"And five, six, seven, eight..."

• • •

Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to succeed?