When Maggie came to, she was dressed in a tattered peach colored dress, although it might have originally been pink, you could hardly tell from all the stains. She looked her fuzzy vision began to focus, but groaned when her head began to ache.

"When I find the guy who hit me, I'll make him wish he'd killed me while he had the chance" Maggie muttered to herself.

She looked up and gasped, the same guy who had knocked her out in the net was now to her right and had a pistol pointed straight at her. Maggie backed away scared, bumping into a lady in a white tattered dress... well, Maggie assumed she was a lady.

"Oi! Get off my train!" The woman barked, snatching her skirt out from Maggie's feet.

As she did, Maggie tumbled backwards and into two other kids around her age. A boy and a girl, both with matching carrot-colored hair, freckles and evil-looking eyes.

"Hello..." Maggie gave them an awkward wave.

"You better not start any fights with your new step siblings!" The woman in white said.

"Hey, they started it-- STEP SIBLINGS?!" Maggie did a double take. "No way, la-day! In order for that to happen, you'd have to be married to my Daddy!"

"In a matter of minutes, I will be" the Lady said, her fish-reeking breath wafting in Maggie's face.

"Wha..." Maggie looked around. She was in what appeared to be the remains of a beached whale's skeleton, all around her were people dressed in what they must've assumed to be finery. But the whole scene was twisted and wrong, the women all wore dress, but they were torn and filthy. The men wore hats with exotic feathers, but they were bent and askew. It looked more like a freakish nightmare than a wedding.

Finally Maggie spotted her father from across the whale skeleton. Captain Jack was still unconscious as some men were tying a noose around his neck

"Wake up, Sparrow!" A man told Jack. "It's time to pay your debt!"

Jack blinked awake and stared at the man before a look of realization crossed his face.

"Pig...? Pig Kelly!" His eyes widened as he chuckled nervously. "Me ol' mate!"

"Mate?" Pig Kelly snorted. "You hear that, boys? This lying pirate owes me a plunder of silver and luck has brought him to Hangman's Bay, where he can settle his debt here and now."

"And I will! I will pay, Pig!" Jack lied. "I've looked everywhere for you! I prayed for your safety after inadvertently paying those men to throw you in a sack. Name your price!"

"Her name is Beatrice... and she's my poor widowed sister" Pig Kelly told him.

Captain Jack turned and caught sight of the bride. "What is that?" He shuddered.

"She be looking for a respectable man, but you'll have to do!" Pig Kelly smirked.

"Right, let's get on with it!" Beatrice snapped

Jack gasped "No! Why? Why would we..."

"You'll make an honest woman of her, Jack!" Pig Kelly explained. "Congratulations, it's your wedding day!"

"We'll honeymoon in the barn!" Beatrice told Jack.

"Start walking, flower girl!" One of Pig Kelly's men ordered Maggie.

"No way! I don't want a stepmother!" Maggie told him. "Especially not a step-monster! I'm not letting this happen!"

The man shoved the barrel of his pistol in Maggie's kidneys.

Maggie reluctantly started walking down the aisle. "Daddy!" She shouted to Jack. "Look out! Here comes the bride!"

"Now Pig..." Jack tried to reason with the brother of the Bride. "How could I possibly make an honest woman out of it-- that! -- her! I mean, her!" Jack then noticed Maggie's new 'stepsiblings'. "What are those things?!"

"Your new children" Beatrice explained. "Best not look them in the eye..."

"He's already got a child!" Maggie told her.

Beatrice's children hissed at her in unison.

"Oh, go hissss yourselves!" Maggie told them.

"Aha, I looked it in the eye..." Jack looked down.

"Bring the best man and the bridesmaid!" Pig Kelly announced.

"Place your hand on the bible..." the Priest instructed Jack.

"Uh... I've got scabies!" Captain Jack began making excuses.

"So do I!" Beatrice informed him.

"He's also smelly! And unreliable!" Maggie told Beatrice. "And a drunk! And a bed wetter! Trust me, you could do so much better!"

"Well I wouldn't go that far!" Jack looked a little offended.

"Place your hand on the bible!" The priest urged him.

"Did I mention he's unemployed?!" Maggie spat out. "And wanted in a majority of places?!"

"That's right!" Jack nodded desperately.

"Say I do or else!" Pig Kelly told Captain Jack.

"Or else what?" Maggie asked.

"Or else, your father will get a bullet in his eye!" Pig Kelly told her.

Maggie stared up at her father and then back at her new step family.

"Y'know Daddy" Maggie said. "I always thought you'd look good with an eyepatch."

"Maggie!" Jack scowled.

"Well, you can pull it off!" Maggie insisted. "You got that kinda face!"

"Jack, they're going to kill us!" Henry urged him.

"I don't care!" Jack hissed.

"Just say I do!" Carina told him.

"I'm trying" Jack lied, looking at his bride. "I'm having a bit of a mid-wife crisis..."

"Daddy, don't you dare say it!" Maggie told him. "I am not spending the rest of my life with a scabie infested step-monster and two hissing cockroaches as step siblings!"

"Last chance, Jack!" Pig Kelly shouted.

"Wait!" Henry piped up. "Surely... this is not legal!"

Captain Jack nodded "This is not legal!"

"He's right!" Carina agreed. "Does anyone here object to these nuptials?"

"I do!" Captain Jack scoffed.

"DAD!" Maggie's eyes widened.

"Congratulations!" The Priest misinterpreted Jack's words. "You may kiss the bride!"

"There were two words you weren't suppose to say!" Maggie scolded her father. "Just two words! You couldn't remember that!"

Beatrice stepped forward and spit on the ground in front of Maggie, causing her to jump back to avoid being hit. Maggie shuddered in disgust as her new step-monster leaned forward, puckering up.

Jack looked like he was about to puke as he leaned forward. "You... uh... you like seafood, do you?" He asked.

"C'mon!" Beatrice snapped at him.

"Ahh!" Jack yelped.

Suddenly a gun shot rang through the whale skeleton. Everyone turned to see Captain Barbossa and his crew had suddenly joined the wedding.

"Jack! Miss Maggie! We meet again!" He called to the Sparrow's.

"Hector!" Jack cried with uncharacteristic joy. "This is me bestest mate in the whole world!"

"I always knew you'd settle down eventually" Barbossa strutted forward, savoring Jack's strife.

"Did you being me a gift?" Jack asked.

Barbossa shot Pig Kelly in the leg and everyone screamed before taking off.

"That'll do" Captain Jack nodded to Barbossa. "You look marvelous, got quite the spring in your step... has your leg grown back?"

"He's not a lizard, Daddy!" Maggie told him. "He just looks like one."

Mullroy stepped forward. "Uh, Captain, shouldn't we be getting back to Salazar...trade Mr. Sparrow's life in for our own?" He asked Barbossa.

Maggie's jaw dropped as Jack eyed Barbossa with distrust and old disdain.

"Aye, that we could" Barbossa told them. "But I've come for the Trident of Poseidon..."

"You're gonna double-cross the dead?" Murtogg asked scared.

"You did promise" Mullroy reminded him.

"...And with it I'll gut the dead that stole my command of the sea!" Barbossa vowed.

"As much as I love this plan" Jack interjected. "No vessel can outrun that wretched hull of a ship."

"But there be one, Jack" Barbossa told him, taking out the Sword of Triton he stole from Blackbeard. He tapped Jack's chest. "The Pearl. Trapped in that bottle by Blackbeard."

He held up the sword and recited the incantation. "By the power of that blackguard's sovereign blade, I hereby release the Black Pearl to her former and rightful glory!" Barbossa then stabbed the sword through Jack's chest.

Maggie gasped until she noticed it wasn't blood that came leaking from the womb. It was water... Barbossa had only stabbed the bottled Black Pearl that was tucked away in Jack's coat.

Captain Jack looked at her. "Maggie, I think my water just broke..."

☠💀☠

The next thing Maggie knew she was running along the beach with her father, Henry, Carina and Barbossa and his crew following behind. They had to get the Black Pearl into the water before she grew back to her full size, otherwise they'd have to pull her into the water. And pulling a ship to the shore was pretty much impossible, Maggie remembered her father trying that in Davy Jones Locker...

"Get ready! Get ready for it! It's coming!" Jack yelled to everyone.

They turned off the coast and ran along to the rocky coastline. Captain Jack was like a giddy kid, happy to be finally getting his ship back.

"It's coming!" Jack yelled. "It's coming, it's coming!"

"Really, Daddy? It's coming? Not going?" Maggie asked sarcastically.

Captain Jack stumbled on some and dropped the bottle, causing it to smash on the rocks. The Black Pearl immediately sprang up and started to grow in size, rather rapidly.

"Stand aside! Stand aside!" Jack warned everyone, backing up.

The Pearl continued to grow and grow and grow, until... Jack leaned down and picked it up the Pearl with two hands. Clearly it hadn't grown that much, in fact it looked like a toy version of the Black Pearl.

"It's shrunken" Jack said confused. "Why doesn't it unshrink? Maybe it's cold, huh?"

"Can I have it?" Maggie smiled. "I can play with it in the bathtub!"

"She needs the sea!" Barbossa told them, snatching the Pearl from Jack and tossing it into the sea.

The wee Black Pearl sunk almost as soon as it hit the water. Barbossa, Jack and Maggie's faces fell.

"Aww!" Maggie moaned loudly. "All my stuff was in there!"

Captain Jack sighed. "She was a fine ship..." his eyes lowered.

"All my toys and my stuffed animals!" Maggie ranted on. "My bed! My clothes! My drawings! My voodoo spell kit! My grave robbing supplies!My dolly that when you pulled off her head there was a knife inside! Gone! All gone!" She turned to glare at Barbossa "You're gonna wish you went down with that ship!"

Suddenly the sea began to froth and bubble, everyone turned their attention back to the spot where the tiny ship had sunk. Slowly, the Black Pearl rose up from the water, fully restored to her right size and former glory.

Captain Jack grinned widely as Maggie squealed with excitement while Barbossa laughed.

Then the sound of a gun cocking beside Jack's head interrupted the celebration. Barbossa smirked as he held his pistol to Jack's head.

"There be room for only one Captain" he told Jack.

Suddenly Jack the Monkey popped up onto his shoulder.

Captain Jack yelped. "Flithy beast..." he eyed the monkey suspiciously.

Maggie heard another pistol cock beside her head and turned to see Murtogg and Mullroy trying to mimic Barbossa. Maggie swatted the pistol out Murtogg's hand and kicked it off the rock into the water.

"Point a gun at my head will ye, you mother-buggerin' sons-a wenches!" Maggie told them off.

"Time to race the dead!" Barbossa announced.

"If those two don't smarten up, we'll be racing them too!" Maggie pointed to Murtogg and Mullroy.

"Maggie" Jack put a hand on her shoulder.

Maggie looked up at Barbossa. "You're not gonna keep me prisoner too, right?" She asked him. "I mean, you have some beef with my Daddy, but I'm sure that's not to say you hate me as well?" She forced a smile.

☠💀☠

Maggie's smile turned into an angry glare as Barbossa had his goons lash her to the mast of the Black Pearl.

"It's nothing personal, Miss Maggie" Barbossa shot her smug look. "It's just that... you're an annoying little nuisance."

"And the horse you rode in on, as well!" Maggie called after him as he sauntered off to the helm.

AN: Yow! Maggie has temper! Heads up readers! I am compiling a list of the Top Ten Maggie Sparrow moments! If you have a favorite moment featuring Maggie throughout the past five stories in the series, let me know in the comments! Tell me which Maggie Moment was your favorite and why! And at the end of this story, I'll make a top ten list, so you guys can see if your choice made the cut! Until then, remember to throw shrunken ships into the sea and if you're in a shotgun wedding, whatever you do, don't say I do!