Requested By:

NO ONE, BUT I AM SO LIT THAT EVEN AFTER FINISHING ONE CLASS, I AM STILL RAGING MAD.

Subject: ROYAL SHIT.

Albeit, there was a few good things I liked about the Rumble, but the stuff that I didn't, oh fucking boy did it ruin everything.

I'll start out with the good, because WHY NOT?

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POSITIVES
+

1 ) KALISTO = U.S. CHAMPION

WWE needs to realize that the closest they'll ever get to Rey Mysterio is this man right here. The fact that he lost his title literally like less than a week later was complete and total BS. It was so much BS that everyone online went apeshit and I solely believe they gave Kalisto the title back for that reason.

Don't get me wrong, I freaking love Del Rio, but nah. That belt belongs to Kalisto and I fucking hope that him being champion opens up the opportunity for "smaller" guys to try for the belt and show that size really doesn't matter because let me tell you this:

Vince is obsessed with big-meat headed dudes like Ryback.

Ryback's boring asf and a total menace. I don't give a fuck if he can lift 500 pounds because while he can bench press all he wants, "smaller" dudes like Neville, Styles, Balor, can wow us with literally just one high flying move or drop kick. They're that fucking amazing.

+

2) THE NEW DAY

Can these guys just be champions forever? I can't even express how much I love The New Day. They're the best of both worlds, able to reel in little kids but also the adults with their metaphorical context and ugh.

Xavier's the best manager ever, no one pitches harder for his teammates than this due.

BIG E- I never want him to stop dancing and swaying his hips.

Kofi- I have a severe adoration for Kofi. The man is twice my age (kind of) and I feel maternal over him. Like he's so happy and he's my baby and I wanna protect him against everything but then he does all this cool shit at the Rumble and HE TWERKS and yas.

The only team I want "beating" the New Day is fucking team Sawft because a verbal+ physical exchange between the two would be fucking epic.

I'm so fucking happy for these three men, showing that YES, BLACK MEN CAN BE AT THE TOP.

3) DEAN AMBROSE IS A BEAST

No one looked better than Dean Ambrose last night.

No one worked harder than Dean Ambrose last night.

Dean Ambrose is WHO should have fucking won the Rumble if not another deserving man that isn't FUCKING TRIPLE H.

Seriously, Dean wasn't kidding when he said that he doesn't break and that he's like a cockaroach that will NEVER DIE. The man put on a hell of a match with Owens (who also put on an amazing performance). Ambrose took hit after hit, table after table and other severe shit (just like Owens) but in the end the dude fucking won AND NOT ONLY THAT-

When he walked out to the Rumble, he didn't look bad at all.

We're not talking looks here bc lol Amrose is naturally beautiful + always looks good (unless you're like -hottingam and like to find the derpiest faces of Dean + use them as cover titles *cough cough inside joke for Charisma, love ya babe! xD)

DEAN AMBROSE WALKED DOWN THAT RAMP FOR THE SECOND TIME LOOKING INDESTRUCTIBLE AF AS IF KEVIN'S TORTURE IN THEIR LAST STANDING MATCH ONLY TICKLED HIM LIKE THE FUCK BRUH.

Nah but seriously, even if Dean didn't win the Rumble which is BULLSHIT, I'm so glad he was beyond utilized last night because remember when a few months back there was like 2-3 paper views with no DA and it was like WHAT THE FUCK?

I hope this man continues his alliance with Roman cause unf I love it, but I also hope he keeps this dangerous streak up.

I fucking love Dean Ambrose.

See, this is why I want to write like 1032988395895 fanfics about him.

4) SAMI ZAYN

THAT PRECIOUS, PRECIOUS, PRECIOUS LIL CUTIE OF A PUMPKIN HEAD IS BACK AND OMFG YOU BET I MARKED THE FUCK OUT WHEN HIS MUSIC PLAYED.

His theme song = pure happiness like Becky's

Also, that stare down that Sami held with Kevin was epic as fuck.

I live for those little details.

Like yeah, Sami's the guy next door, the dude who'd you crave to be friends with cause he's so nice, but lol don't fuck with Sami Zayn cause he'll fuck you up and ugh, the way Owens looked at the camera was just MAGICAL AND RAD.

I fucking love Owens.

Then the two went at is full speed and I was crying bc lol even though their characters hate each other and shit, it's no surprise that they're bff's in real life and it makes me so happy to think that they're both giving it their all to make both of them shine and YAS BABY YAS!

5) KEVIN OWENS

I love Kevin Owens.
I love him, like a lot.

Like, I'd totally tie this dude down and marry him if he weren't already.

He's the best heel to come in YEARS and holy fuck I just love that once again like Ambrose, he's finally being utilized as the MURDER BEAR he is.

Like faaaaak, Ambrose + Owens should just admit they're like in love with each other and become #MurderHusbands.

On the real though, Kevin last night was glorious.

His match with Ambrose had me on the edge of my seat 
+
even though the match took a toll on him that beautiful fucking madman LIMPED his way downt he ramp without any fucking shame and delivered a great performance in the Rumble too.

The way he acted when Sami came out was just A++ acting skills on his part.

What I love most about Kevin at the Rumble is that Sami's return puts an automatic feud with him, but also, Idk if you guys noticed, when Owens took AJ out he told him "Welcome to the WWE" which I really hope that opens up a feud between the two BECAUSE YAAS.

- - -

okay, we're down to the nitty gritty, the stuff that had me raging mad (still has me).

I am a good noodle, but holy fucking potatoes I'm still raging mad about these things.

- - -

6) SASHA BANKS

Now, bear with me.
I actually LOVE Sasha Banks, but the only reason I disliked her last night is because:

She always gets the special treatment.

I love her character and I love that she slayed last night,

but I will be SO upset if she gets to go at it with Charlotte for WM without Becky.

Often times, Becky Lynch has served as a placeholder for Sasha, always so close to the belt but not entirely. IF Sasha faces Charlotte at WM I will be happy if Sasha wins, but holy fuck-

WHAT ABOUT BECKY LYNCH?

Sasha's had her chance in NXT.
And yes, she's proven to be BADASS ASF, but it's time the creative team also gives Bex a chance.

Because Charlotte's had a chance.
Bayley's had a chance.

The only horsewoman to get the short end is Becky.

She didn't get to hold the NXT Women's Championship belt which if you ask me if FUCKING CRIMINAL. Now, if Sasha holds the Divas Belt before Becky, I will be so angry. I swear, it's like they just waited for Sasha to be cleared from her injury to put her in and totally ignore all this build up they had for Becky. I sincerely hope that Becky faces Sasha at WM or that it's a three way, preferable Sasha and Becky because CHARLOTTE IS BORING ASF.

Which brings me to the next point.

7) RIC FLAIR NEEDS TO GO

Before Ric Flair was introduced, I never liked Charlotte. I'm sorry, not really, but to me she's overrated. Everyone also praises her athleticism but HELLO, NAOMI and ALICIA run circles around her "athleticism." So she bends backwards and shit, lol so can Brie Bella and pretty much any other girl.

Ever since Ric was introduced, I hate her to the core.

Some people say that if "you hate her" then she's doing her job right but FUCKING NO. She can't even be a proper heel because EVERY TIME she's given a mic she fucking yells! And it's not even like a passionate yelling kinda thing, it's just annoying asf and monotone sounding liek faaaak man, take the mic away from her NOW!

I miss Paige.

I wish Paige would have appeared at the Rumble and headbutted Ric's head so hard that his lips would bust open and then they'd have to stitch them shut because WTF OMFG

POOR BECKY LYNCH.

As if it's not bad enough that she LOST (WHAT THE FUCK) they make Ric Flair kiss her.

OH MY GOD.

In my wildest dreams I saw Paige headbutting the old man, and then I saw Finn The Demon creeping up towards Becky and pulling her away to keep her safe because beating Ric Flair up.

Ugh,  I'll write about this on my Becky Lynch Fanfic (soon to come,lol look at me promoting and shit)

SERIOUSLY THOUGH,

THAT MATCH WAS SHORT.

All the build up for nothing because the point wasn't even that Charlotte retained, it's that "Sasha" made her return and that pisses me off because that takes entirely away from Becky and UGH.

8) TRIPLE H CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF WITH A PINEAPPLE UP HIS ARSE

As time has gone on, EVERYTHING CM PUNK SAID ABOUT TRIPLE H IN COLT CABANA'S PODCAST AND WHEREVER ELSE IS TRUE!

I like what the Triple H that has built up NXT to what it is + who he's brought in, but omfg as a wrestler he is the most SELFISH, EGOTISTICAL TWAT EVER!!!!!!!!!

- Sting / Trips.

Triple H couldn't even bury the fucking hatchet and let Sting have his moment at WM. Clearly, WM31 wasn't going to be Hunter's last as he had "speculated" so not only did he bury Sting there,

he continued to do so when he couldn't even let him have a victory on a PPV.

Remember when Sting made an appearance at a MNR during the unveiling of Seth's sculpture. Replay that video and look at how fucking sour Triple H looks when Sting gets a MASSIVE pop.

Fucking puto.

OMFG I AM SO ANGRY THAT I AM CURSING IN SPANISH CAUSE CUSSING IN SPANISH ALWAYS SOUNDS MORE AGGRESSIVE!!

- Trips / Seth.

There's no doubt in my mind that Triple H genuinely adores Seth and has taken him under his wing, but WHY THE FUCK does he make Seth use the Pedigree?

Like come on, that of had to been Triple H's influence of being like "use my move blah blah" instead of letting Seth Rollins, a perfectly capable wrestler with over finishers dig into his arsenal and pull something else out.

It makes me sick that Triple H always makes it about him. Like fuck you Triple H. I never even liked you and when I did it was because Shawn Michaels made him like cool in DX.

"Dufus/idiot son in law."

Everything wrong with Triple H winning the Rumble:

He's headed to WM, taking the SPOT of another deserving young talent. Look, at his prime Triple H was great, but he's fucking old now and he doesn't move the way he used to. He doesn't hold that appeal he used to have in the ring anymore and FUCKING HELL WHY DID HE HAVE TO WIN?

SELFISH ASS MOTHERFUCKER.

Trips as "Champ" means:

- MORE AUTHORITY

With or without Seth I've always hated the Authority and now with Triple H as champ, they're gonna be around for longer and UGH someone beat their asses already.

+ The only thing Trips as Champ guarantees is that when Seth returns, this can help bring his baby face turn bc it'll be like "Oh so you took my throne while I was away, you're not my "fam" bye."

Seth as baby face is gonna be like Shawn as baby face = the best.

- NO FUCKING CREATIVITY

Trips winning can be foreshadowed as Roman did take him out earlier but omfg way to not listen to the audience. I don't fucking want Roman/ Triple H feud.

WE ALL WANT ROMAN AND AMBROSE GOING FOR THE BELT OR "FIGHTING FOR IT"

- Triple H will most likely have a short title reign and will def. drop the belt to Roman. If this happens, we're back to square fucking one which is Roman as Champ, and that blows because once again, they hinder us from having a new, different champion.

If this stems out to WM, I hope that it's a three way for the belt, Roman/Dean/Trips and that FUCKING DEAN WINS and finally has his CROWNING moment at the grandest stage of them ALL, and maybe have Roman turn on him BUT THEN AGAIN, the odds of that happening is maybe impossible since it really just looks like they want Roman to have a 360 and instead of losing at WM again, he "finally wins at WM." AND FUCK ALL OF THAT BECAUSE THIS IS ALL THE DEMISE OF TRIPS WINNING THE RUMBLE AND UUUUUUUGH.

Triple H entering the Rumble is stupid ASF. WHY?
Daniel Bryan has been medically cleared, just not by WWE Officials which is BOGUS beacuse Daniel could have made a perfectly timed come back at the Rumble, but instead, the spot is taken by someone like Triple H that has nothing left to prove.

Daniel Bryan not returning at the RR worries me because if not then, WHEN?

If this man is never given the chance to shine once more under the WWE, I am so done.

- - -

ENTRANTS

Another thing that I couldn't stand about the RR was some of it's participants.

Okay, WTF is Kane / Mark Henry doing there?

Also, I freaking love Chris Jericho but why the hell did he last that long? He's coming in-and-out of the WWE. He shouldn't get that priviledge because it's obvious he wont' stick around to do anything really meaningful like win a belt.

Those spots should have gone to amazing talent like Big Cass + Enzo, SAMOA JOE, Baron Corbin. The RR this year could have been use to show cast some of NXT's finest talent, but instead they give it people who can't even generate a buzz.

- - -

Okay, I gotta go back to my class.

Basically, I'm still fucking ANGRY AS FUCK THAT TRIPLE H IS CHAMP
THAT HE WON THE RUMBLE

BUUUUT

I can't wait for Monday Night Raw tonight because AJ STLES, SAMI ZAYN, AMROSE, OWENS, MAYBE FINN???

AAAAAH

As always, give me your input cause I love reading what you guys have to say.

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P.S.

AJ STYLES ENTRANCE IS MAGICAL AND THE WAY HE STRETCHES TURNS ME ON AND I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN IT BUT UNF + HIS MUSIC, I DIG THAT SHIT.

OH AND LUCHA UNDERGROUND SEASON 2 PREMIERES IN TWO MORE DAYS!! (JAN 27)