GREETINGS SUCKERS!

    Today I'm going to tell you how much I fucking love Samoa Joe because I don't think ya'll nearly understand just how pure and large my love for him is.

   By now, I'm sure you all know that I 30004583985438954343985438905723475438957432589% love CM Punk.

    It should be no secret, 

and if it is, 

shame on you.

   Just kidding, no shaming here, but what the well?

   My love for Samoa Joe is up there with Punkus. I actually tuned in to watch tonight's Monday Night Raw, and I lived for every second that THE SAMOAN NAMED JOE THAT I ACTUALLY WANT PUSHED TO OBLIVION graced the screen that my peasant eyes feasted on.

   So, Joe on his own is more than okay. But when you add Paul fucking Heyman into the mix ... I am crying ugly tears of happiness because

PUNK + HEYMAN + 
SAMOA JOE + AJ LEE
+ AJ STYLES 
= #1 IN MY
COLD, DEAD
HEART.

   If there's a voting category for any of those, please vote me in because when I tell you I've been following them since the beginning of their careers, I am not fucking joking here.

https://youtu.be/zgo5kpHCB84

   THIS SEGMENT WAS FUCKING GOLD, GOLD,

GOLD!!!

   Before I get onto my love for Joe, can we talk about our lord and savior, Paul Heyman? I mean, how can one not love this man? He's honestly one of the best on the mic, and a larger than life gimmick that just keeps evolving.

   His facial expressions are just,

riveting.

The best in the business

if you ask me.

   Anyways, back to the video I posted above. Anytime anyone gets in Heyman's face, you know it's going to be fucking good.

If you go to 2:41, you'll come across the moment that had me puking rainbows of happiness.

   Joe whispering into Heyman's ear was both terrifying and fucking delightful. I was both scared for Paul, but also grinning like freaking Chesire cat.

   You guys need to understand that I love a good villain. I love the despicable, but more than that, I love a calculated psycho-killer like Joe here is.

   Near the end he whispers to Heyman, ❝Something bad is going to happen to you right now. Listen, listen, listen. I'm going to wrap my arm around your throat, and you're going to feel it tighten, understand?❞

#KEEPITTIGHT

    I am fucking living for this!

   I've been seeing a lot of negative posts about Joe around my newsfeed, and it's upsetting. I get that not everyone will like him (one of my favorites), but it sucks when people shit on other superstars just because their favorite didn't win.

   In this case, I saw so many people bashing Joe because Finn nor Rollins (fan favorites) won. Personally, I'm just so fucking happy that Roman didn't win.

   That said, I know it's hopeless (at this point) but I was rooting for Bray Wyatt. It's tough being a Bray fan, but I'll always root for him.

    I love Finn + Seth too, but again, we all have our top favorites and if Joe or Wyatt are in the mix, I'm going to be their #1 supporter.

   I AM NOT calling anyone out in specific, rather I've just seen it a few times already. I've read a couple of posts in which Joe is called irrelevant.

   To me, that's absolute blasphemy because mostly everyone that's come from ROH / TNA / NJPW  has been set for greatness.

    Need examples?

   AJ Styles, Booby Roode, Seth Rollins, Finn, Shinsuke Nakamura, and now Samoa Joe.

   These men have all risen to the top because they're hard fucking workers, and are more than seasoned performers. 

   More so on Styles +Joe's side, they bring in such a large audience that know them well + love them for their work outside the WWE.

   My favorite thing about Samoa Joe's rise to the top is how fucking great all of his build ups have been. 

   With Seth, he went out for the attack, even side-lining him. Of course that was unfortunate, but it only made him look like a larger threat.

   With Sami, he relentless attacked him with no fucking remorse.

   Now, he's called out Brock Lesnar and I'm stoked. I normally can't give a damn about a Brock Lesnar match (except for the times goldberg whooped his ass). 

   Joe's segment alone with Heyman actually has my hyped for their match. I just hope that the WWE gets it right and let's Joe actually have a fucking match against Brock.

   I hope Brock isn't the lazy, uncooperative piece of shit he was in his match against Ambrose. I know that for some time now (unfortunately and stupidly so) Dean has been called lazy and complacent.

   In Stone Cold's podcast, Austin blasted him and to me that was so unfair. It was pretty frustrating to hear not because I'm an Ambrose fan, but because I thought Steve was in the wrong.

    I will forever have respect for Ambrose and his balls of steel that called Lesnar out as a lazy piece of shit that would not cooperate on taking certain bumps or doing more than his outdated, two moves.

    Please, give us one hell of  a match. If any two people can bring a brutality not seen in a long time, It's Samoa Joe + Lesnar.

The build up to this match has taken place in just one fucking day and it's so refreshing to not have a story-line dragged out for months. Even if Joe + Brock don't fight till months from today, Joe has already established himself one hell of a threat, and that's beautiful.

Again, I love Rollins + Finn, but I just can't bear watching them face off against Lesnar and constantly hearing how one's size is inferior to the other but their agility blah blah blah.

Now that I've professed my love for Samoa Joe, here's some stuff I found on Tumblr that had me laughing and wheezing for more air.

I AM SO GLAD I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS JOE'S VOICE IS SO SOOTHING I WOULD TOTALLY LET HIM MURDER ME.

   Now that I've professed my love for Samoa Joe, here's some stuff I found on Tumblr that had me laughing and wheezing for more air.

I AM SO GLAD I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS JOE'S VOICE IS SO SOOTHING I WOULD TOTALLY LET HIM MURDER ME.

   I LOL'D

I SNORTED

I WHEEZED FOR AIR

THIS

LOOK.

Well suckers, I hope that by now you know how much I love Samoa Joe. Here's actual footage of me watching Joe + Heyman's segment / anytime I see Samoa Joe in general: