Chapter VI: Why are you here?

Crowley and Aziraphale sleep peacefully and serene in the Doctor's library. After the very special, passionate, romantic, but also wild night they have spent, with their very last energy they managed to miracle a sheet to cover their naked bodies, before falling asleep in spoon position, Aziraphale as the big spoon.

Crowley was so worn out that he didn't even mind if said sheet turned out to be duck-printed.

It's early morning when still in their sleep, the pairing begins to hear some noises. Like something crumbling all over them.

Then such noise stops and the angel and the demon relax.

But after a few seconds they can hear it again, louder and more continuous.

"Oh, good Lord!" Aziraphale wakes up gasping. "A landslide, an earthquake, a meteorite crashing!"

"Two planets in collision, a star implosion, the new Armageddon!" Crowley wakes up as well, rambling panic-stricken.

And then they turn and focus better on the source of that so apocalyptic noise.

It's the Doctor, sitting in front of them, with a bowl of crunch cereals that he's eating.

"Oh, please, gasp again, every time you jolt the sheet move a tiny bit and I can see under it!" he grins manically, as he keeps eating.

"For Heaven's sake, that's true, we're naked!" Aziraphale grows alarmed and Crowley jolts again.

"And the sheet is moving again!" the Time Lord smirks. "You know what? We could have a naked day in the TARDIS, starting from now!" he places the bowl on the floor and gets up, in order to get rid of all his clothes.

"Don't you fucking dare to take off any bloody item anymore!" Crowley stops him just when he's rolling up his T-shirt, revealing half of his stomach.

"Enough, no more nakedness for everyone!" Aziraphale commands. snapping his fingers.

A couple of seconds later everyone is wearing something like three pairs of trousers, six T-shirts and three sweaters.

At least, Aziraphale and Crowley don't need the sheet anymore and the demon makes it disappear.

"Angel, exaggerate much?" he grumbles, getting up as the poor Doctor, so caught off-guard, loses his balance and falls on the ground.

"Okay, okay, I admit I got carried away a little bit.." the angel innocently giggles, before snapping his fingers again, this time making each of them wear only the essential.

"It was a nice sheet by the way. I have one with bananas!" the Doctor chuckles.

"What the heaven are you doing here?" Crowley snaps.

"Good morning, dear Doctor," Aziraphale speaks in the same time, walking towards him for a quick, but deep kiss.

"You should really learn some manners from him," the Time Lord turns to Crowley, pointing at the much more easy going angel.

"Uh right, sorry. Good morning," the demon rectifies, smiling at him affably. "What the bloody heaven are you doing here?" he snaps again. "And forget a good morning kiss or whatever kind of kiss from me!" he hisses.

"Never say never!" the Doctor shows a cheeky smile. "About your question, it's my TARDIS, which basically allows me to be wherever I want and you two happen to be really, really cute when you sleep. i used my sonic screwdriver to make some light, without you even noticing it!" he grins proudly. "And then the day came and the sun from the window did the rest."

"Did you spy on us? You... pervert alien!" Crowley insults him, but Aziraphale is definitely less shocked.

"Why did you just stay there and watch? Where there's room for two, there's room also for three. You could have joined us!" the angel suggests.

"NGK! Aziraphale!" Crowley turns to him, his golden, snake eyes wider than usual, it almost reminds of when the angel told him about his flaming sword on the Eden's wall.

The Tenth Doctor is staring at him as stunned as well.

"What? Calm down, both of you, I meant only to sleep." he clarifies.

"Let me bloody remind you that we were bloody naked under the sheets!" Crowley points out, still bewildered.

"And I wouldn't have bloody minded, quite the contrary, I would do the same. Naked is the best form of human nature, alien nature, ethereal or occult natures... you know what? We really should have a whole naked day in the TARDIS."

"N. Fucking. O.!" Crowley growls

"Can we just please change topic, as we are having breakfast all together?" Aziraphale snaps his fingers, making coffee, tea and croissants appear.

"Thanks you, but I'll stick to my cereals. They taste of galaxy... and banana, too!" the Time Lord giggles, crunching some more.

"Geez, alien boy, are we obsessed much with bananas?" Crowley snorts.

"I've invented Banana Daiquiri!" the other proudly announces.

"Really? Now we do speak the same language!" the demon grins. "Although I prefer apples, you know, occupational hazard!" he shrugs.

"Okay, Azi, since you wanted me to change the topic..." the Doctor says as Aziraphale is biting his croissant and Crowley is about to drink some coffee. "Was it good tonight? How many orgasms did you have?"

Both of his listeners almost choke.

"What? No need to be so scandalized," the Time Lord frowns. "Love and sex are the best way to express human nature, alien nature, ethereal or occult..."

"Shut your fucking galactic mouth!" Crowley snaps. "Why do you have to be so chatty in the morning?"

Aziraphale is very shocked this time, leaving his croissant half bitten and letting it drop on the floor.

"Can we go back talking about naked stuff again?" he politely demands.

"Can we just enjoy the silence?" Crowley suggests, drinking his coffee. "However, I do not know why you're asking, but if it's a sort of competition..."

"It's not a competition," the Doctor clarifies. "But I would win in any case!" he sticks his tongue out at Crowley.

"Okay, Doctor, since you feel so chatty, I have a good and way more innocent question: why are you here? Not in this room, as Crowley asked before, I mean why did you land in London, Soho, in nowadays?" Aziraphale asks him.

"Yeah right, you keep postponing the issue every time we ask about it, bloody answer us this time!" Crowley urges him.

"You're right, it's time for you to know everything." the Time Lord decides. "When I landed at Soho, there was a mistake, that's not where I was supposed to arrive. Time was right, but not the place. It should have been Tadfield." he starts.

"Tadfield?" Crowley repeats, frowning.

"Yeah, that's why I stepped inside Aziraphale's bookshop, I wanted to ask him about that, but then I saw him, for me it was love at first sight... and the rest is history!" he glances at the angel, making him blush.

"Why are you so interested in Tadfield?" Crowley questions him, preferring to ignore that declaration of love towards his angel.

"Because I know that a few days before I arrived, the world was about to end. No one can remember that but I know it happened and I want to know who stopped it and how." the Doctor reveals to them. "Why don't you look shocked? I said the world was about to end!"

"Then I guess the TARDIS took you in the right place, you know. Yes, it happened at Tadsfield, but it also happened thanks to us. We were there, with all the other important people who helped us to prevent it." Aziraphale confesses and Crowley confines himself to nodding.

"That's why you babbled that you saved the world once." the Time Lord grumbles, staring at Crowley.

"Pretty recent stuff, indeed." the demon smirks.

"Please, guys, tell me everything about it!"

And they do.

-----------------------------------------------

"Really? So it is just that? The world didn't end because a eleven year old kid refused to go home with his dad?" the Doctor recaps simply after their tale.

"Uh, well, more or less!" Crowley shrugs.

"I want to know him!" the Time Lord decides, finally leaving the library and heading towards the console.

The other two just follow him.

"Oh yeah, you should, he's such a lovely boy!" Aziraphale approves, caressing the Time Lord's nape. "Besides, I guess you'll surely want to meet Adam's friends, too, they're so brave."

"Yep, they defeated the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse... okay, three out of four." Crowley points out, tugging at Aziraphale, in order to get him back, but it doesn't work.

"Dear Lord, Crowley, you can't be that jealous. I mean, we've spent tons of precious hours together and poor Doctor remained so alone," Aziraphale mumbles, holding tight to the Doctor and caressing his face.

"Yep, I was very, very, very lonely, indeed, to let you guys have your moment." the Doctor piles on, enjoying the angel's attention and challenging the demon with his look, amused by his pissed-off growls., even more when Aziraphale kisses him.

"When you say 'Dear Lord', angel, which Lord are you exactly referring to?" the redhead glares at the blond.

"I'm not even answering to that!" Aziraphale snorts, as he keeps cuddling and kissing the brunet.

And then it happens, Crowley can't explain -doesn't want to explain- how, but out of the blue that scene stops pissing him off and starts turning him on.

A lot.

So much that he silently wishes he could be there in the middle.

Almost as if the Doctor had detected something in the air, he briefly opens his eyes during the kissing and has placed them on Crowley with so much intensity, until their looks lock.

And Crowley in those dark, mesmerizing eyes seems to read a clear invitation: 'you can join anytime, sexy demon!'

He shakes his head and immediately looks away and the Doctor closes his eyes, amused, focusing on the kiss with the angel again.

Crowley just has to do something about this or he's going to give in.

"Okay, Wembley and Queen have been beyond amazing, but... are we supposed to stay here forever?" he barks.

"You know I could stay here kissing and cuddling you until all the planets implode..." the Time Lord parts from Aziraphale, as gently as he can. "But we have some travels to do. To the fabulous kids!" he yells excited, starting to pressing buttons at the console, before turning to them. "Okay, Tadfield, where, exactly?" he smirks nervously.

"Oh, I guess the best place to find them is a sort of green area they only seem to know, Adam told us about it..." Aziraphale replies, giving him the right indications.

******************************* (in the meantime)

Wensleydale is all engrossed talking about his latest vacations and Adam and the rest of the 'Them' are listening to him bewitched, when Pepper notices something behind the boy's back.

"What's that pulsating thing?" she frowns.

"Don't you dare to interrupt me, Pepper, I was about to get to the point where I caught those huge crabs!" the kid with glasses snaps.

"She's right, there's something..." Brian agrees, pointing at where the strange thing is happening.

"Adam, did you wish for something to happen to distract you all from my extra-interesting tale?" he accuses their leader.

"What? Do you really think it's my fault?" the curly headed boy looks almost upset. "You all know I can't do that stuff anymore, I'm quite as stunned as you!" he clarifies, deciding if they have to get closer to that odd blue phone box that now seems to have fully appeared.

It's not necessary, because the doors of said phone box opens and two very familiar figures step outside.

"Aziraphale, Crowley!" Adam cheers, running towards them, but stopping in the middle. "Wait, is something bad going to happen? Again?!" he frowns.

"It's not very pleasant for you to associate us with only bad things." Crowley rolls his eyes, crossing his arms at his chest.

"Relax, dear boy, no one is threatening anything, it's just a visit we wanted to pay to you and your friends." Aziraphale calms him down with a warm smile.

"You can step out now!" Crowley yells.

Adam and his friends stare dazed at the weird guy rushing to them with few, large and quick steps.

"Crowley... why didn't you tell us you have a... twin?" Pepper asks him, still confused.

"Because I bloody don't!" the demon snarls.

"You're Adam, aren't you? Brilliant, you're so brilliant!" the Doctor grins, staring at him intently as he cups his face. "You looked the Darkest Evil straight in the eyes and told him off." he recaps, his smile now even larger. "It feels good, doesn't it? Defeating Satan. Been there. Done that."

"Wait, what? Now you want to make us believe that you defeat even Satan!" Crowley scoffs.

"Got some help but, yeah, I did!" the Time Lord shrugs. "It seems he found his way back into your world."

"I believe you did, just like our dear brave boy here did." Aziraphale smiles at the Doctor and then he turns to Adam. "It's always great to fight for the Good!"

"Rather than good, it felt totally unfair. I've been punished for months after that!" Adam snorts.

"Geez, Adam you're so exaggerated!" Pepper rolls her eyes. "How can it be 'months' if it's barely three weeks since that day everyone but us have forgotten?"

"Pepper is right, not to mention your punishment was gone after three days!" Brian adds.

"I should have chosen less picky best friends..." Adam mutters, before turning to the weird guy. "Who are you?"

"NIce to meet you, Adam, Pepper, Wensleydale and Brian. Azi and Cro talked to me about you a lot. I'm the Doctor!" he smirks, a bit puzzled when all the kids back off.

"What? I've already had an injection this year!" Brian protests.

"That's why my parents took me on holiday ... to distract me before this!" Wensleydale grumbles.

"My mom says that vaccines are wicked plans of big pharmaceutical companies in order to actually get people sick!" Pepper barks.

"It's not that making him look like Crowley is going to make the doctor more pleasant to us!" Adam protests.

"What?" the alien frowns. "No, wait, I'm not that kind of doctor. No vaccines, no injections, no pills. I'm the Doctor. I cure planets. Even yours. Mostly yours. And I'm a Time Lord."

"What's a Time Lord?" Brian glares at him.

"Okay, it's time for explanations, once more." the Doctor decides. "C'mon, all of you, run inside my phone box that's bigger inside and I'll tell you a fantastic story!" he urges them, getting a very thrilled crowd.

"They weren't so excited when they met us!" Crowley grumbles, following them with Aziraphale.
"Well, maybe because we didn't meet in equally serene circumstances." Aziraphale finds a reasonable explanation.

-----------------------------------------

"So you can travel through time and space," Brian recaps at the end of his tale.

"You've been both in history and parallel universes..." Pepper adds.

"And you helped tons of species." Adam concludes.

The Doctor nods at everything they say, prouder and prouder.

"Did you already see my wings, kids?" Crowley asks them , desperate for attention.

"Yeah, yeah, nice..." Brian speaks for them all, waving his hand, sort of annoyed.

Their eyes and ears are all towards the Time Lord.

"Dear, you can show me them, whenever you want. Actually, in our next time... you know, I really hope I'll see them. After all, I've already showed you mine," the angel winks at him and the demon doesn't care anymore about getting the kids' attention anymore.

Well, not every kid's attention. Wensleydale seems to be much more interested in a portable video game he drew from his pocket.

"Didn't you find it interesting, kid?" the Doctor asks him, puzzled.

"Meeh..." the boy with glasses shrugs, his eyes never leaving the videogame. "I mean, do you shoot spiderwebs?"

"Well, no..."

"Do you have an armor with every possible technological gadget that makes you invincible?" Wensleydale keeps his interrogation going.

"I have tons of gadgets, no armor, but I have a space suit, actually the one I wore when I defeated Satan..."

The kid stares at him, unimpressed.

"Do you have a special shield that can protect you from anything?"

"Nope..." the Doctor snorts.

He's growing tired of that game.

"See? You have nothing interesting and... woah!" he yelps, seeing his video game emitting some smoke with a little explosion after the Doctor has aimed at it a strange sort of glowing, silver stick.

"So, do Spiderman, Iron Man and Captain America have something like that?" the Time Lord sneers smugly, rotating the sonic screwdriver among his fingers, before putting it back in his shirt's pocket.

An open-mouthed, wide-eyed, shocked Wensleydale shakes his head negatively.

"Hey, I liked that!" Crowley giggles, exchanging a glance of complicity with the Doctor, while Aziraphale doesn't seem to approve.

"Oh, c'mon, give me your video game, Wensleydale, I'm going to fix it in a minute." the alien stretches his hand to him, gently, and the kid trusts him, admiring the other as he passes the strange stick all over his game.

The Time Lord returns it to him as fresh as new.

"I've also installed twenty more levels, you know, to make it more fun!" he winks at him.

"You're the super coolest hero ever!" Wensleydale beams, making the Doctor grin victoriously.

"Okay, I saw you already noticed that Crowley and I look similar a lot, in case you're wondering why, have you ever heard about the Seven..."

"Lookalikes Theory?" Brian anticipates him.

"Oh we have a connoisseur here. Brilliant!" the Doctor grins at him.

"Don't worry, I'm going to explain it to you later." the boy turns to his other friends.

"You know what? You should go to Anathema and Newton, too, they still live at the cottage." Adam suggests to Aziraphale and Crowley.

"Where do they live?" the Doctor grows curious.

"Oh, not far from here, dear. We can take a nice walk and..."

"Walk?! Why should we ever walk?" the Time Lord grimaces. "Kids if you have your stuff outside go catch it, we're going to leave, soon. I like making an impressive appearance." he sneers.

The guys obey and come back with their rucksacks.

Brian is holding a chocolate snack that's spreading crumbles and chocolate stains whenever he walks, besides, his hands became very sticky and he's touching practically everything.

The Doctor follows every one of his steps, armed with a cleaning wipe, cleaning it on the stains and sticky zones.
He looks relieved just once Brian's done eating and for good measure, he passes the cleaning wipe all over his hands as well.

As he's getting the coordinates to reach the cottage, Adam walks closer to him, holding something.

"Look, Doctor, this is my comic, with cowboys in space and dinosaurs!" Adam shows him his drawing pad.

"Ohh, that's very nice. It reminds me of a couple of planets that I saw." He decides to make the kid happy with that innocent lie.

The travel is so short they don't even need to grab at the structures.

The pulsating sound makes Anathema and her fianceè rush outside.

"A blue box!" the Witch gasps.

She's somewhat relieved when she sees Adam and his friends stepping outside.

"Hi Anathema!" Adam calls. "Crowley and Aziraphale paid a visit to us, but they're not alone!" he informs her, as the angel and the demon show up

Newton is engrossed in wondering how so many people can come out from such a little phone box, while Anathema is amused by what she sees, but more confused, after a very peculiar third element arrives.

"There's something very odd about your aura." she murmurs, too absorbed by what she saw to look at him better and figure out something important.

"He doesn't have,one, am I right, Witch? Just like all the evil beings!" the demon scoffs.

"Nope, quite the contrary, he seems to have more then one, very ancient ones, too... but it doesn't make any sense." she babbles confused.

"It does, trust me, powerful and smart witch." the weird guy in a pinstripe suit smiles at her. "I'm the Doctor." he introduces himself, friendly, as usual.

Anathema stares better at the trio.

"What?" Aziraphale asks her, frowning.

"Your auras... first, when it was just you two, your light blue one, Aziraphale, and your dark red, Crowley were clinging to each other, but now they're still hugging somewhat but Aziraphale's one also tend to the bright silver aura of your new friend... which seems to be rather interested in your aura, too, Crowley." she explains.

"He's not a bloody friend! He's just a nightmare!" Crowley hisses.

A very amused Time Lord slides closer to him.

"Do you have the slightest idea how quickly a nightmare can turn into the hottest and wettest dream ever?" he whispers to his ear.

His hoarse voice and his hot breath give Crowley the same unexpected reaction of the morning and things become even harder (in any sense!) when the Doctor's face is just a few inches from his.

Aziraphale goes to them both, unawarely inattentively breaking their moment.

"Oh well, it's a long, long story, my dear Lady, but I guess our auras already spoke for us!" he giggles, as he wraps one arm around each of his lovers' waists.

Anathema giggles, but then she recalls something.

"So, Doctor, what's your name?" she asks him.

"Just the Doctor!" he shrugs.

"You can also call him Time Lord," Aziraphale informs her.

"I stick to Alien Boy!" Crowley scoffs.

"The blue box. Now this. Agnes' prophecy!" Anathema jolts.

"What?! Sweetheart, you have burned them all, haven't you?" Newton ventures to ask.

"Well, I saved just the most ermetic ones. Such as this." she replies, searching for something in her bag, until she draws out a little card.

"'And a blue coffer shall cometh, from a sir without a nameth, who hath lived thousands diff'rent lives to liveth just one.'" she reads.

"Well, thousands...that's a tad exaggerated, this is only my tenth regeneration, after all. So, yeah, if you want, you can call me Ten, too." he chuckles.

"Regene... what?" Crowley narrows his eyes, but since he's wearing his unmissable dark glasses no one can see.

"If my energies run out, if I'm seriously wounded or if I simply grow too old, which rarely happens, I can regenerate, get a new body, new face, new personality... but it's still me." he explains.

"Oh, this sounds so sad!" Aziraphale pouts.

Neither does Crowley look happy about it, he's growing used to this weird, funny - sometimes sexy, sometimes unbearable - guy who looks like him.

"Yeah, but... there's no need to think about it now, there's still time before my next regeneration, at least I hope so." he reassures them.

"Excuse me, Doctor, the previous nine regenerations were all male Doctors?" Pepper questions him.

"Well, yes..." the Doctor replies, scratching his nape.

"So, no female Doctor so far?" she goes on.

"Nope, but on my planet, tons of years ago, there were plenty of Time Ladies..."

"'It's not the same!" Pepper retorts. "That's rather sexist!"

The Time Lord just chuckles.

"Hey, little girl, you've got such a temper, I like it. In ten years, or a little more, you could be the perfect companion for some adventures through time and space!" he winks at her and she blushes, flattered.

"What's that stick in your pocket, Doctor, can I see it?" Newton asks him, pointing at his shirt.

"Huh! Thanks for your interest, but I'd rather you don't..." he grumbles.

He heard about Newton's peculiar 'abilities' and he's afraid that that human can damage all his super technological stuff.

"There's also nothing interesting about my common, usual, standard phone box," he adds for good measures.

"You're kidding, right?" Adam intervenes. "Newt, you have to see that, it's super, super, super cool. It's huge inside, with all golden walls around and it's full of weird stuff!" he informs the adult, still hyper, making the elder hyper as well.

"Adam, you're not helping!" the Doctor retorts. "Okay, Newton, I can make you have a look inside it, but I'll come with you, watch you the entire time long and you absolutely must touch nothing!" the alien instructs him and he agrees. "Anathema, you can come too, much more freely." he adds and the witch follows them, thrilled.

"You know, Newton, you remind me of an alien species I've met a while ago. They were against every form of scientific progress." the Time Lord says, once they're outside again.

With his constant supervision, Newton didn't manage to damage anything.

"Could you please take me there?" Newton pleads, but Anathema hears him.

"What? No way, honey, you can't put the ring on my finger and then flee!" she snaps, grabbing his ear.

"Ouch, no, sweetheart, I was just asking for a trip, no one is running anywhere, ouch! I really, really really want to marry you, ouch!" her soon-to-be husband clarifies.

"I wish, for you!" she narrows her eyes at him.

"Oh, that's so lovely to hear, congrats, guys!" Aziraphale beams.

"You're invited to our wedding, of course! It will be next spring, in May." Anathema grins. "You're invited, too, Doctor."

"I barely know what I'll do tomorrow, but thanks for the invitation, darling." he smiles. "It was a huge pleasure to meet you all. Before, Azi and Cro and I leave, would you mind telling me in every detail, what specific role each of you had in preventing Armageddon?"

---------------------------------------------------

About an hour later, satisfied with all this further information, the Doctor waves goodbye and goes back to the TARDIS with his two Companions.

"So we still have Madame Tracy and Mr Shadwell to meet." the Time Lord grins, ready to set the coordinates.

"Not so fast, Doctor," Crowley interrupts him. "I have a special request before..."

TBC

Notes:

Oh 'c mon, I'm sure you can guess what Crowley is about to ask ;)
In Italian I've already written some fics involving them, but in English this is the very first time I deal with 'The Them', I hope I did a decent job and they sound IC ^^'

Same for Anathema and Newton, but I had never written about them so far, in general, that's why I'm twice agitated, lol ... as I will when in next chapter I'll have to deal with Madame Tracy and Mr. Shadwell, although I'm already plotting some funny scenes ;)

I hope I made you smile, at least a little ^^
Thanks for reading <3