You kicked your way to the park entrance. You felt a shiver go down your spine remembering that night. You then flinched when you felt a gentle hand place itself on the small of your back.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Peter retrieved his hand awkwardly removing his eyes from you. You hopped of your skateboard and held it.

You and Peter walked on the cemented path to find an empty bench. On the way, you couldn't help but think:

'If Peter says sorry, does he know what happened to me? No he can't.. I never told anyone...'

You found a bench under a big oak tree. You walked towards it as Peter did the same behind you. You took a seat as Peter sat a good foot away from you.

"Why weren't you at school today?" Your heard Peter ask. His body was halfway turned to you, his legs faced forward. You didn't even turn to him. You just stared at whatever was in front of you.

"I didn't feel like it." You lied. It was a bad lied, honestly, but Peter didn't make a big deal about it.

"You're not avoiding me, right?" He then asked with a slight whine. You shook your head still not looking at him.

Then there was a pause between you two. You wanted to say something, but you didn't know what. The silence was getting uncomfortable.

"Are you still mad at me?" Peter asked mirroring your sitting position. "Mmhmm." You hummed while nodding your head.

You looked up and found the street in front of you. You watched as cars passed by.

"Did something happen, (y/n)?" You heard his voice again. It was very quiet, but the words started to hit you. You tried to not make yourself break down.

"N-no.." You stuttered while bowing your head.

"I know that action. You're lying..."

Then you felt a hand on your thigh. This time you didn't flinch. You stayed quiet trying to put the words in your head together to form a coherent sentence.

"(Y/n)?" Peter cut you from your thinking. You gave him a glance, reverting your eyes to your feet.

"Okay, if you don't wanna tell me–"

"I was attacked, Peter."

Those were the words you spoke out loudly for once in a while. You turned to Peter who had a shocked face. It wasn't as major as you thought it would be.

"O-oh." He replied taking back his hand. You watched his hand go to his lap.

"'Oh'?" You mimicked with an eyebrow raised. "That's all you can say? 'Oh'?"

"What else am I suppose to say?" He asked back with a defensive tone. You looked up at the brunette with disbelief.

"There's also 'I'm sorry to hear that, are you okay?'" You leaned your head to Peter, tilting your head so you were looking at him from your left side.

"I'm sorry.. to hear–"

Peter was cut off when you crossed your arms and roughly turned back facing forward.

"You didn't even fight me when I tried to leave your apartment." You then said. In the corner of your eye, you saw Peter look at you with longing eyes. You knew he wanted to hold your hand, but it was obvious you didn't want to be touched.

"You didn't even send me a text asking if I made it home!!" You threw your hands up only to let them fall on your lap with a muffled slap because of your leggings.

"Everything happened so fast that night!! What could I have done!" Peter fought back. You rolled your eyes sighing exasperatedly.

"Oh I don't know, be a deCENT PERSON AND CARE ABOUT SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU??" Your voice got louder as the sarcastic statement went on. You turned to Peter, found his glossy eyes, and turned away again.

"I shouldn't have walked home alone... You shouldn't have let me walk home alone." You felt your voice waver into a moment of silence. You looked back onto the street.

"I should've remembered. If I remembered then we wouldn't be fighting right now.." Peter put an arm around the bench and rested his head in his hand. He was leaning farther away from you. You saw him rub his eyes in frustration.

"Yeah you should've. You even promised to make it up to me." You commented with a sneer. You crossed your arms again, turning the other direction away from Peter.

"I just had a lot on my mind that day." Peter replied calmly with a quiet sniffle. You huffed while biting the inside of your cheek.

"It was the internship wasn't it. You got clouded by it that you don't even think about me anymore!" You felt the anger rise up again through your lungs. You snapped at Peter once already and you didn't want to do it again.

"I do think about you!" You felt Peter's body pull its attention to you. You stayed facing front.

"Yeah well you clearly weren't thinking about me yesterday!!" Goddammit it hurt to yell at Peter. You knew it was hurting him, but you were also hurting.

Then there was silence again. The deafening silence. It let you think and with every thought came another which led you into overthinking and fright. You shook your head once you felt the burn in your eyes. You blinked and a tear slipped.

"A-are you hiding something, Peter?" You knew you asked that question last night, but you brought it back now. You began fiddling with your fingers and the cuff of your hoodie.

"Is there something that you never told me... is t-there something that's coming between us?" You further asked. You brought your eyes up to Peter. He was still in the relaxed position with his arm over the bench. He had his eyes in his hand and he wasn't moving.

"You weren't like this before, Peter. When I met you, everything was fine!" You saw Peter look up and turn to you with sorrowful eyes.

"Now it's like something is keeping you away from me. I'm really not trying to be rude, but I think I deserve to know... I-I wanna know so I can find a way to be with you..."

You let out a couple sobs, but they were soft. They weren't like yesterday. These cries were solemn and it was because of your words. You watched as Peter sat up and breath through his nose a little more than normal. He looked over to your lap and gently took your hand in his. He laced your fingers together and, for once, you didn't feel your heart speed up to his touch.

"I wanna be with you too, (y/n).. b-but I can't tell you.." You saw the wave of sadness come over him. You sighed sharply trying to find something in him. You were trying to make this work.

"I can't tell you... yet.." Peter added. You shook your head reverting your eyes. "So you're just gonna wait until a time that would come to tell me?" You asked rhetorically, feeling taken aback. "What if that time never comes, Peter? Or what if you won't be able to tell me anymore?"

Peter opened his mouth. Nothing came out. Nothing was coming out.

"It has to be the right time, (y/n)–"

Peter's reply was cut short when he felt your hand leave his. He saw you stand up and step on your skateboard. You turned to him once more to put out what you wanted to say.

"If we can't be together because of something you can't tell me, so be it. I want to be with you, Peter. I love you, but if you're not willing to be with me now, don't bother trying later."

With that, you skated off on the cemented path to the exit. You felt the tears start running down your cheeks. You wanted to look back, but you didn't. You kept going further down the street back home.

— ♡ —

Very emotional chapter. Tbh I had a hard time writing this ?? I don't know I just hope you guys like it :)

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[ August 17, 2017 ]