Chapter 4 | We're Different, You and I

[Song of choice: The Theory of Everything // Forces of Attraction]

Rani's bedroom, alone, is larger than my entire house. Scratch that thought, the entire first half could fit my entire lineage in one room alone-starting right from Adam and Eve to present day.

"Wow," I drawl sourly as Rani sweeps an arm and bows like a hotel doorman.

I step into the room after Jack, whose neck is about to bend in all impossible ways if he continues to stare at the vaulted ceiling of every room she's shown us since we arrived. He has an obsession with architecture. It mystifies me the way he can speak about buildings like they're people and assign them characters and personalities of their own.

"Wow, " Jack repeats after me, much more brightly, of course. "It's like the Palace of Versailles in here."

I trace a finger along the murals on the walls: splendid sunsets, dazzling night skies and sweeping summer oceans. In the blink of an eye, her room transforms into a holiday resort, and when I turn to the left I'm shrouded by constellations that blink and gleam, and if I glance up at the ceiling I'm under the glory of a cathedral. If the entire Earth could be condensed into one location, Rani Romano's room would be the ideal setting.

"My dad is pretty well off so he paid for the room renovation costs when Mum and I moved into with the Remingtons."

"What does your mum do?" I ask curiously.

She shrugs. "Mum's just what she is. A retired model. A dietician. A crap mother. Whatever she wants to be whenever she pleases. She changes her mind every month. Last month she wanted to be a pilot. The month before that she tried her hand at becoming a zoologist," Rani replies, a bitter edge to her tone.

"Where are the rest of the boys tonight?" I ask nonchalantly, dizzied by the worlds that have been condensed into four walls. Four very distant walls. I can't be sure where the corners meet, or if they even do. The magic of her bedroom is all in its vast size. Maybe scientists should quit exploring the ocean and wade through Rani's shimmering bedroom and trace the glass stained windows she has in the place of a ceiling.

"Karl is at Lindsay Atwell's house." She laughs when I make a face. "I know. Those two are the unlikeliest of all pairs. I think Ralph and Tate are down at the skatepark up to mischief, as always. And Mum flew to Paris this afternoon to meet with Elie Saab and help design my birthday dress." Rani's flat tone flies over Jack's head. I study the vigorous way she rubs her knuckles as if she's washing dirt off her hands.

"Why didn't you go?" I ask, unable to keep my voice nude of sarcasm. "It is your 'birthday dress', after all?"

"They already have my measurements," Rani replies hollowly. "And if they forget I'm sure they can Google it, or whatever."

I listen closely, waiting to pounce on her obnoxious response, but her voice remains flat as a guitar in need of tuning. Meanwhile, Jack twirls around in a circle with his arms spread out, as if he's going to catch snowflakes in the palms of his hands any moment soon. "Man, this place should be featured on MTV Cribs." He lowers his face and tilts his head to the side, curls spilling forth to lick his brows. "I can't believe you've got your own gym installed in your room and a steaming sauna."

I step aside to let Rani pass but she stays glued to the doorframe, afraid to lose herself in the galaxy murals that Jack is dipping in and out of; I keep one leg in my world and one world in hers. Rani keeps both her feet in my world. I look at her. Her eyes, baubles of molten amber, are already on me. They've been on me since Jack and I sprinted to her front door, screaming as pellets of rain attacked us, jackets over our heads to protect keep our heads dry. For the first time since she sashayed into Madame Penelope's class after the Christmas break in thigh high stockings, a tight skirt and chunky, military boots, Rani looks away.

Beyond the extravagance of the interior of Remington Manor and Rani's domed bedroom, I spot a weighing scale peeking out from under her bed and a mess of orange pill containers all over her bedside table. My lips part; I know what those pills means, and I'm beginning to piece together the first of many puzzles. But the corners of the first puzzle, like Rani's room, don't seem to fit quite right. It doesn't make sense because I've always been taught that all lines have an end and that Rani's world is open to my intrusion. I mean, her life is always on the front page of every newspaper. Why should she be so hard to read all the time? So I take another step into her room, two feet in her world, and lose myself, calling to Jack and swimming past three walk-in closets and another glorious sunset mural. Then I spot her bed again. The pills. I see them every morning in the medicine cabinet, capital letters in foreign print, barely visible to my hungover eyes whenever I squint to make out the aspirin beside Lucas' blocky name.

I'm back at Rani's side. Curious, not concerned. One foot anchored back in my world, and an eager foot itching to dip back into hers.

"You've got your own gym, eh?" I scour the machines packed against the wall to the far left: an elliptical trainer, a hot-pink treadmill and some heavy weights. "Must be pretty handy to wake up and walk two steps to the gym."

"I'm a model. I have to keep fit."

"Fit or healthy?" I ask, disquieted by her shadowed eyes.

"Both," she replies stiffly, stepping inside her room. The transition from the dark hallway to the bright lights of her bedroom shows when she flips a switch in her eyes. She has returned back to her world, a nation of glamour with adoring fans and envious glances. But I don't want to be in her shoes anymore. Not if she looks like a skeleton whenever she walks in the shade.

"Jack?" Her voice is smooth again, fluid and effortless like a pure musical note.

Jack is at her side in an instant. "Yeah?"

"Where's my food?"

He chuckles and holds up the bag dangling around his wrist like a long medieval sleeve. "Italian B.M.T. with lettuce, cucumbers, peppers, olives, jalapenos, pickles and tomatoes."

"And?"

"And a bottle of Sprite," he finishes with a toothy grin, seemingly pleased with himself.

She pecks his cheek quickly, marking him in her signature blood red pout. "Thanks, pumpkin."

Jack cups his cheek, dazed. "Thank you, too."

"Don't you mean to say you're welcome?" I correct him, moving past them to throw myself on her opulent poster bed.

"I said that, didn't I?" Jack says, mouth moving laboriously to form words even though it's clear that his mind is elsewhere. The goddess of his new glittering world throws herself onto the bed and I shoot her a glare. Rani blinks at me with a smug smile, sunny eyes moving like honey, and I fight back the feeling of floating. It must be all the wine I had earlier. The bed bounces violently when Jack throws himself on top of us.

"Jack!" I shriek, scurrying backward but not in time to avoid a collision. "Ow! That's my leg you're sitting on, arsehole."

Rani laughs, notes strummed on the finest guitar. I smile at the sound. Jack stretches himself over my legs and Rani lays her head down on my lap. We're a tangle of limbs, knotted and tied together. I'm the sky, Rani is our sun and Jack is just Jack. I break out into a giggle.

"Has she been drinking?" Rani whispers too loudly.

Jack nods. "When isn't she?"

"Hey," I whine. "I'm still in the room." They ignore me and start a conversation about a chemistry assignment until I interrupt them. "Where's the rest of your disciples, Romano?" I ask in a half-hearted drawl, careful to keep my aching fingers from running through her inky hair.

Jack casts me a warning look but Rani-eyes closed-laughs again. I find myself drawn to the sound, even going as far to replicate it. My attempt fails when my breath catches. Her eyes have opened without my noticing, a world of light within its own right. Damn it, I groan inwardly. Stop looking at me like that, Romano.

"I don't have disciples," she replies coolly, eyes closing again.

"Subjects?"

"I'm not a queen, Holly."

I yelp when Jack slyly pinches my calf.

"Friends?" I ask.

Rani pauses, a hesitation too long. When she speaks, her lips don't match her words, like a video that hasn't been synced correctly to the sound.

"It's the Met Gala tonight. The other Storm models probably flew to the States for it."

Jack's mouth forms a perfect O. "Wow. I would kill to go to the Met Gala."

Rani's face is slack of all expressions save for the slight tilt of her lips. "If I had known that you both came as a package deal then I would've invited you both over long ago."

My chest prickles with warmth at the sincerity she uses, the faintest fingers tickling my insides. I hold back a smile of my own. Rani sits up to grab a remote off her bedside table before flopping back down on the bed. She switches on the television and flicks through a number of channels before picking one at random. Then she moves to sit beside me, chewing the corner of a lettuce leaf thoughtfully. I slide my gaze to the orange cylinders cluttering her bedside table. Rani follows my gaze and does that thing with her face again, like an artist wiping a canvas clean. It's a struggle, I can tell. Paint doesn't come off easily the way pencil strokes can be erased. Rani decides it's better to ignore my curious gaze.

The bed is jolted violently when she jerks upright. "Shit. I forgot to text my mum about what I ate for lunch and dinner today."

"You forgot to do what?" Jack chokes, holding back a laugh.

Rani flinches, explaining, "She likes to keep a record of everything I consume, from a cracker to a celery stick. She was a model back in her youth and is a trained dietician now alongside her crazy new hobbies, so she insists. . . I need her to keep me in check."

Jack snorts a laugh, but I remain solemn as an owl, watching Rani balance the sub on her concave stomach before she arches her back to fish her phone out of the back pocket of her jeans. Jack crawls off the bed and starts to sieve through the dozen movies stacked carelessly on the television stand. As Rani's manicured hands rain over her phone screen. I can't help myself so I begin to fiddle with the half emptied pill containers on the bedside table. I read the labels, recognising Xanax and Prozac and Tofranil.

"Tofranil," I echo, lips parting in horror as I recall Lucas' lengthy explanations over his prescribed meds. "These are really strong, Rani. Did you get these under the counter or something? I'm pretty sure it's impossible to get Tofranil in this day and age."

Her fingers freeze over her phone screen. Jack stops, and stares at us. Confusion passes over his face, a momentary lapse in judgement that is washed clean with a grimace.

"I-I. . ." Rani bronze complexion melts into a red hot glow.

Jack's tongue is sharp. "Holly!".

I put the containers back down, tentative and slow. "Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Let's just watch a movie," Jack sighs, standing at the foot of bed and holding four movies to his chest like a hand of cards. "Mulan, Lion King, Tangled or Big Hero Six?"

Rani pockets her phone and brushes her hair back. "Whichever one you want, doll."

His ears flush pink, tip red, lobes pale. "Uh, Holly? Any preference?"

I shrug and point to the closest one, casting Rani a pointed look. "Mulan, duh. Princesses should be able to save their own butt."

"Mulan isn't even a princess," Jack throws back, taking the disc out of its shell casing.

"She is to me," I reply, folding my arms over my chest. "She works her arse off to achieve everything. Not every Disney girl has to be born into royalty like Miss I-Need-To-Count-Every-Freaking-Calorie over here."

Rani flinches. Jack gives me a warning look before starting the movie. Just before the end, my joints begin to ache-a throb that starts at my knees and blooms towards my ankles. Growing pains, my doctors calls it. Couch potato, I believe.

"I need the bathroom," Rani announces quietly, getting up and stretching her long limbs.

"Me, too," I add, getting up as she chews the inside of her cheek.

"Can't you wait until I'm back?" she asks, nervously rubbing her abdomen. I flick my gaze up and arch an eyebrow.

"I have the bladder of a five year old boy. When I need to go, I need to go."

She blows out a long breath and does that thing again with her face. Just like that, and I'm looking into the same poster that's pinned on Jack's bedroom wall.

"Can you stop doing that?" I blurt without thinking it through. The poster smile wavers like a mirage until Rani looks like a muddled painting. I knit my lips together.

"Stop doing what?"

"Smiling like that. It's kind of creepy."

"My smile is not creepy," she protests, stunned. "Hey, Jack?" He rolls onto his stomach, sparing Rani a wistful glance over his shoulder before turning back to the movie. "Is my smile creepy?" she asks.

"No, your smile is beautiful. You're beautiful. Don't listen to Holly. She's just jealous that her smile is creepier than a serial killer's."

"What?" I shoot Jack a death glare as he turns up the volume. "My smile is cute!"

"Whatever makes you sleep at night, sunshine," he sings, turning up the volume a couple of notches to drown my sputters out. I reel in the incoming bubble of rage by whipping my head back to a smug Rani.

"My smile is cute," I state, crossing my arms.

"Mmm hmm," she replies, folding her arms over her chest. "Cute."

"I'm cute."

Although Jack has been pretending to ignore us, he pipes in, "Oh no, you're not. Rani, you should totally see Holly when she wakes up in the morning. Total beast." He shudders as I reach for a pillow to chuck at him. "Not the face you want to wake up beside for the rest of your life-Ow! Holly, that actually hurt!"

"Pillow wimp," I hiss viciously.

"Pillow rapist," he bite back, followed by a flying pillow shooting towards my face.

"Pillow tit." I duck and the pillow strikes Rani's head.

She gasps. Jack scrambles off the bed to apologise to her just as I hurl another pillow at his chest. It hits Rani in the face and she shoots me an irritated scowl. "Come on, Holly. I'm freaking Switzerland."

I throw another pillow, this time aiming for her. Rani's eyes-wide in disbelief-slam shut when the pillow bounces off her beautiful scowl. Jack fights back a laugh.

"O'Reilly, you're supposed to be backing me up over here," she complains. He shrugs, laughing harder. Rani lunges for me. I dance out of reach and leap onto her bed, graceful as a cat. "Get back here," she says in between a series of swear words. I laugh, clutching my crotch as the urge to pee intensifies into the size of a coconut.

My distraction brings forth my downfall. Rani pounces on me, arms roping around my waist as we both arc across the sunset sky on her wall. For a fleeting moment, we soar through time and space, shrouded in stars and blue moons until my face smacks the sterile white carpet and Rani's bony elbows stab my back. I howl in agony and roll over, weighted with Rani's upper body. Except that she weighs less than a sheet of paper. It's like cradling a baby bird. She groans and grows slack in my arms.

"Get off me, Romano," I say, ready to wriggle my way free until Rani raises her head and curtains us in a dark waterfall.

The light of her room disappears, leaving me with her hovering oval face. Despite the fact that she just rugby tackled me off her bed and could've broken my spine with our mighty fall, I lift a hand to tuck her hair behind her ears, marvelling on the trails of stars on her lobe. She catches my wrist before I get the chance to count the number of piercings she has on her right ear alone, and gently pins it over my head so that we're in alone in a cave made from her hair.

"Get off me," I repeat quietly, softer this time.

"No," she replies just as quietly.

She stays put-eyes roaming my face like two blood orange suns-until Jack appears beside us and hauls her off me. "Are you OK, Rani? You took a pretty bad fall."

My insides plummet as I think weakly, It's started already. He's forgotten about me.

From my spot on the carpet, melted into a pool from the heat of Rani's gaze, I reply flatly for the both of us, "Yeah, Jack. I'm alive. Thanks for the overwhelming level of concern, buddy."

Jack rolls his eyes but extends a hand to help me up. I take it, yanking him down in the process for payback.

"Holly!"

"I need to pee," I announce, heading for the door which is so far away it gives Rani enough time to dog after me.

"I'll show you where it is," she offers brightly.

I look over my shoulder, smiling politely. "I'm sure I can find it on my own."

Jack gives me a long look. Rani spies our silent conversation before throwing an arm out to catch up to me. She latches onto my shoulder to keep up with my long strides. "You'll probably get lost. I'll show you."

I hold her gaze, eyebrows arched. "Five minutes ago you looked like you wanted to kill me for needing the bathroom and now you want to show me where it is?"

Rani puts on the same face as the girl who locked me in a bathroom a week ago. "Are you scared I'll join you again? Don't flatter yourself, Holly."

My ears prickle with heat. " Whatever. On with it, Romano."

"My pleasure," she says, curtsying deeply before padding ahead to take the lead.

I follow her through winding corridors, wide and spacious, adorned with marble statues and oil paintings. When I step back into the hallway, I'm surprised to find Rani exactly where I left her, leaning casually against the wall with one leg up and arms folded across her chest. She smiles and starts to lead me back to the living room. I keep an eye out for the boys' bedrooms, but the mansion is a maze. The blueprints can wait till some other time.

I break the silence when we reach the staircase. "You didn't have to wait for me."

She turns her head to the side to briefly regard me before turning away again. "I know."

"Aren't you going to use bathroom?" I ask, jogging to keep up with her long legged strides.

She rubs her stomach with an absent expression and offers me a decaying smile.

"No. I don't need it anymore."

I fall back a fraction, left confused at the way she wolfed her sub earlier and down the entire bottle of Sprite in five gulps. There's a cloud of imperfection growing grey beneath the polite smile she spares me over her shoulder. I keep out of her line of vision to discreetly study her, carefully without the fear of getting caught. Her oversized sweatshirt slips down one shoulder, revealing angel wings dusted with bronze for skin and marked with a star shaped birthmark.

"Bloody hell. Even your birthmarks are pretty, Romano."

My finger, without any thought, reaches out to trace the outline of the smudged star. I yank my hand back when Rani stops short, hovering over her bedroom door's handle. When she turns, the grin on her face makes my own lips reflect them like a watered down image. Fingers of warmth stain my cheeks and I struggle to hold back a sheepish smile.

"You really think I'm pretty?" she asks, pleased in a way that a fourteen year old girl would flush when their crush calls them pretty.

I hold her gaze, trying to solve the source of the fire in her molten eyes but all I catch are glimpses of shadows and embers. Before I can formulate a reply, a nonsensical hum comes from her bedroom. Rani moves forward to stride into the room but I clasp her forearm to hold her back.

"Shh," I whisper, inching the door back to reveal my best friend posing in front of the full length mirror beside the walk-in closet. Relief wings through my chest. It's just Jack being Jack, that's all.

"Wow," Rani comments. She leans against the doorframe. I peek over her shoulder. Together we watch Jack hover in front of the mirror and fix his hair like he's Elvis Presley. He licks his thumb and pinky finger to smooths out his eyebrows and wiggle them at his reflection. "He's seems eager to please."

"He's not that desperate for your attention if that's what you're implying," I mutter, annoyed with her conclusion. "Neither is he like the kids who swarm you at school. He's faithful as a puppy when he meets a girl he really likes." Then I add with a sheepish smile, "And he's a bit of a whore when he's with the wrong type of girls. But don't tell him I said that."

"I didn't say he was desperate. I just meant to say. . . " Strangely enough, I managed to unhinge her smooth exterior. I take pleasure in the fact that she's human. "You know what I meant," she eventually mumbles. "He's fresh faced and new to all of this." When I don't respond, she adds, "He's an innocent."

"And you're not?"

"No, I'm not. I'd like to think I was at some point."

"What happened?"

Rani shrugs. "I met someone."

I raise an eyebrow, shell-shocked. "And?"

"It didn't work out. The media found out. Things got pretty crazy. My parents fought a lot, and paid off a lot of journalists to keep quiet. They also paid off the girl's family to move away. It was kind of awful. The whole ordeal strained my parents' marriage. And somehow, in the space of three months, I found myself with a new stepfather and three angsty stepbrothers. . ." Rani trails off, an actor who just remembered to stay in their role at all times. When she smiles, I see right through it. Sad and layered, like the ghost of a thousand smiles erased but only just visible to the naked eye. If you squint hard enough, that is. "Gathering from what I've heard about you, wonderwoman, you should know what heartbreak can do to a person. I heard your breakup with Eric was pretty messy. He's my lab partner for Human Biology. Pretty cute, actually."

I start to formulate a lie, but the truth takes hold of my tongue.

"I've never been in love." I sigh. "I didn't mean to hurt Eric. Things got out of hand."

The double take she does leaves her perfect hair unsettled, a waterfall of ink disturbed by her forked fingers.

"Never?"

"Ever."

We lapse into silence. I watch Jack pose at his reflection, first a spy, then a dancer, then a monkey. Rani chuckles quietly beside me and my breath catches. I can't fight back a sincere smile any longer.

"He's adorable," I comment in a whisper, scared of disturbing the glass moment between us.

Her eyes soften. "I think so, too."

"He's probably trying to figure out how to ask you on a date," I reply. "He's a believer in waiting for the perfect moment."

"Isn't it better to create them for yourself?"

I look over at Rani, following the smooth slope of her nose and the smatter of dark freckles she always tries to blur out with concealer.

"Jack is just Jack," I try explain as best as I can. Rani looks at me, briefly unguarded. A flurry of warmth wakes up inside me. "And then there are people like us," I add with a wry smile, twisted like a tree branch. But Rani makes something beautiful of it and mirrors hers with blossoming flowers. She holds my gaze and quirks another smile, this time one of her own, crooked and unsymmetrical-beautiful as spring.

She nods, eyes dancing into mine like fireflies. "And then there are people like us."

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A/N: Hello again, haha. How long has it been since I last updated? Four hours? (Thank the 'The Theory of Everything' soundtrack. It's stellar!)

Just another quick reminder that everything I'll be posting henceforth will be unedited. (Sometimes I wonder if I had ADHD. My concentration levels are nonexistent.)

It's 2am and I'm going to push through to get the next chapter up tomorrow. I feel like I'm going to explode with the feels right now, and I don't even know why. This is what I was talking about earlier. Do you guys ever get so overwhelmed with emotions when you write/read like you're going to become a puddle of sunlight? No? Just me then?

I feel almost transfixed by Rani's character. She reminds me of those matryoshka dolls (the doll within a doll within another doll, etc). Every time she's unveiled, there's another gift/horror to unravel.

What do you guys think about her so far?

-Kaddy