blue and yellow squint the circles
reddened eyes
red mouth
loose eyelashes

stubble mismatched to the eyes of hell
you know me
i'm only good at beginnings
and i can't do this anymore

she doesn't know what to do
i can't know what to do
i won't let myself

darling of the water
she watches me come
i watch her smile

i'm not supposed to be here
i'm not the one who breeds here
she's the one who needs it
selfish for something hot she can't deserve

i give it all and she fucks herself up
this is our church
these are our sacraments

speak for yourself
lesbian absinthe
pulmonary whiskey

benzedrine in sugar capsules
sugar in cyanide candies
bite sized for the children

and she's not the one who watches me fall apart