second week of 2017! i hope everything's been going great for everyone and that you're all doing what you love :) thank you for reading ❤

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"Can you please patch things up with Jem?"

"What?" I ask absentmindedly, although I can feel my ears turning red.

"Don't play dumb."

"I'm not," I murmur, and continue to trace a draft. The sketch seems less inviting every moment Elijah stares at me accusingly. Taking a blank piece of paper, I pretend to jot down ideas for new buildings.

"I even said please."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"He hasn't been coming around for a few weeks now, okay? I really miss gaming with him."

"So do I," Eden chimes in as he opens the front door, shaking off fresh snow from his clothes and throwing his keys onto the shelf. He strides into the small kitchen and takes out a box of cereal from the cupboard. "Wait, what are we talking about?"

"Jem's absence." Elijah motions for Eden to throw him the cereal. He catches it neatly and stuffs a handful of cornflakes into his mouth.

"Ah yes, then yeah, go patch things up." Crunching, Eden leans against the wall. "I miss gaming with him."

"What's your obsession with him and gaming?" I say, exasperated.

Elijah looks offended. "He's good at gaming and gaming is everything."

"That's true," Eden agrees.

"You can ask him to come over then," I say, crumbling up my scribbles.

"We can't do that," Eden says, "we'd be making you uncomfortable."

"I'm not uncomfortable."

"You can't even look at us in the eye right now." I look at them in the eye.

"I'm looking at you in the eye."

"You're looking away."

"Okay, now I'm not." I hold their gazes for as long as I can before my eyes water and I blink. Cursing inwardly at their triumphant gazes, I say, "this is not a staring contest." I crumble another piece of paper.

"Sure," Elijah says, and crunches another handful of cereal. "Whatever you say, bro."

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My feet first takes me to the car, then the car takes me to the bookshop. I walk almost absentmindedly inside. Marge looks up as I walk slowly towards her, and that's when I start to have second doubts.

She comes around from the counter, and for a second I think that she's forgotten me. But no, she is smiling at me and telling me to go directly up. Her glasses and crazy red hair calm me down a little and I try to wipe my damp hands as much as I can with my shirt as I climb up the rickety staircase. I finally get to the door, and taking a breath, I open it.

The little sun is still shining cheerily from its corner of the yellow room and a circle of people is still sitting in the center. "Dan!" The woman from the center stands up and welcomes me in with a grin. "You're back!"

She remembers my name, I think, and I'm not sure whether that's good or back. The circle makes an opening for me and I take a seat beside her.

"Do you remember me?" The woman asks. I hesitate, and she shrugs good-naturedly. "Well, I'm Sandra. It's so good to see you here today."

"How did you know I'd come back?" I finally find my voice.

The group smiles at each other and Sandra smiles at me. "We always do."

It's hard to be there without someone familiar with me, but I recognize the boy Jem has a handshake with and that makes me feel a bit better. Nobody is wearing pink. I half expect Jem to open the door during the entire session, but he doesn't. Nobody mentions him, and I'm not sure whether I should ask.

"Not everyone is here today," Sandra begins, and she gestures at a few empty seats around the circle. "But since most of us could make it today and we have both new and old faces, let's start with introductions. You can share memories or just some thoughts. As usual, I'll start first." She smiles around the circle and clears her throat.

"I'm Sandra, and I'm twenty-seven years old. I've been with my partner, Evie, for three years now, and I've never been happier. I like sunshine, rainbows, and puppies. Happy things. I love the color purple, I eat ramen sometimes for lunch, I work in the bookshop downstairs. Normal things. I am me, I love me, and I love Evie." Her voice is trance-like, and I listen to it as if it is my lifeline. Something is stuck on to the back of my throat, and I want to be like Sandra more than I ever wanted to get rid of the color pink.

"I met Evie when I was eighteen. She was the same major as me. I realized I loved her when I was nineteen, but I never did anything about it until I was twenty-four. I was scared and lonely and lost, but I looked for help here and in all the unexpected places and I realized that being myself was okay. There are more than seven billion people in the world and there's bound to be plenty of people like me. So here I am, a few years later, counseling new batches of people every week and helping them realize that they're just like me, and that being like me is okay. " She stops, and I wonder why she did until I realize that everyone is looking at me. "Your turn, Dan," Sandra prompts. "Introduce yourself."

There's silence as I stare at everyone back. My throat feels dry and I suddenly feel defensive. "Dan?" Sandra asks gently. "You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I manage to say. I take a breath. I remind myself that I'm fine. "I'm Dan. This is my second time here today. I like architecture. And I also like boys." A laugh goes around and I am surprised at myself for being the cause. Nevertheless, I relax a bit more. The room is bright yellow, but it's warmer than that of a spotlight, and the audience is closer and feels more real.

"Anything else you'd like to share today?" Sandra asks, and I quickly shake my head.

"Some things take time," she agrees, and gestures at the person sitting beside me to start.