aaaand that's going to be it for most likely the rest of the month. i'm sorry. but things are going down and dan's gonna meet SOMEONE soon so ;)

for blue, the reader that made me cry and die a little inside (in a GOOD WAY REALLY). thank you so much <3 xoxo

~ ~ ~

I take Felix everywhere until we finally arrive at the bar on a Friday night. It's almost effortless to order a drink; the bartender slips me a beer every time I slide onto a stool. Felix hasn't seen me drinking before, and as I gulp in large portions, he stares at me disbelievingly from his own glass.

"Dude, do you maybe wanna slow down a bit?"

"I'm good," I say calmly. The glass's dimmed sparkle under the quiet lights soothes me and I feel calmer than I've been this entire week. I nod toward his glass. "You drink often?"

"During parties, yeah," he replies. "But I'm an athlete and I run most Friday nights instead. I find that more comforting than alcohol."

"To each their own," I say simply, ignoring his hint, then take another sip to prove my point. He decides to look past it.

"You come here often?"

"Most Friday nights." I pause. "With Jem."

"The legendary Jem. Where is he, by the way? I've only met him in person once."

"He was supposed to come today," I say at last, "but he couldn't make it." I look down at my drink. "I haven't talked to him in a while."

"Oh," Felix says, getting it. He doesn't push it. "Alright."

"Yeah."

"You okay?" He's staring at me concernedly and it's just so Felix of him. The bar's low murmur of voices and the slender tune of the piano with drums doesn't really comfort me as much as it's done before, and even my fuzzy brain can understand that it's because there's someone missing. I glance around the bar, half hoping to see a Jem-like figure around, but there's no one around in thick plastic glasses and a button-down like him. It's expected. I wouldn't still meet anyone after a shouting match like that in the car.

"Dan?" Felix is waving his hand across my face, and I snap back to attention as much as my alcohol-disoriented brain can.

"Huh?"

"Are you okay?" The tiny silver cross that he keeps tucked into the collar of his shirt makes an unusual appearance onto his skin, gleaming like a sudden flash of lightning. It matches the flashing colors in his dark chocolate eyes.

"Yeah. I'm okay."

We keep on drinking, and for a moment, I almost thought that Jem was beside me.

...

Felix leaves not long after. He hugs Mia tightly and she returns it just as fiercely. Maybe school wasn't as okay as we all claimed it was. I stand a little to the side with Eden and Eli, and when Felix sees me, he grins and drags Mia to me. It's hard not to smile when he engulfs the both of us in a bear hug. I smell Mia's cinnamon gum and Felix's faint mint and it's the best combination I know. The intricate silver chain holding the cross is the only thing I have my eyes trained on, and it's the thing linking me and Felix together when we finally all pull away.

"Sorry about that," he says as he tries to pull the chain from one of the buttons on my shirt. "It usually never sticks on."

"Is that what happens with Willow?" Mia asks slyly, and Felix answers an absent "Yes" before realizing and blushing a brilliant red. "Shut up, Mia."

Mia cracks up, and messing up his hair, she waves and runs off towards the twins. Then it's only Felix and I, and when he finally untangles that chain, he lets out a sigh of relief and grins at me. "I'll see you soon, Pearce."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." I watch as he walks and disappears out of sight, feeling more conflicted than ever.