Ow. Ow! OW!

I shook my hand trying to shake the pain out of my fingers. Hitting Collin's jaw had been like using a basalt block for a boxing bag. I should've kneed him in the nuts, he deserved it, but I hadn't actually meant to lash out. He'd caught me unaware and I'd pummeled my pillow imagining his face so many times it just kind of happened.

I'd been lost in the dance. It was the only place I could go where I didn't have to worry about stuff like grades, tuition and the things I did to pay for it. Most the time when I danced, I had to be conscious of the men perving on me, but right now, amongst all these girls, I felt...safe. It'd been a false sense of security.

When he'd said my name, when my eyes snapped open at his familiar voice, he just been standing there, all innocent like. He looked surprised to see me. Surprised!

I am a girl. I am all over social media. For six years I prayed he'd contact me—try to fix things. When I came back to the east side of the mountains in order to attend Cascade Pines University, I'd been so sure he'd find me. I went to all his home games. I hung out at the Sin Bin, the jock bar in Pining. I attended all the hockey god parties. Yet, until now, he never once approached me.

I know I could've gone to him, but he did this. He was the one that told me he never wanted me to speak to him again. I'd been respecting him by letting him make the first move, right? I thought he'd been hypnotized by Ashley Hickman's pom-poms, gold hair and boobs. I was so sure he'd eventually come to his senses. I could've, I would've, forgiven him. I don't think I could've done anything different. I had loved him so, so much.

But now, only a little over an hour from where we'd grown up as neighbors, he'd not once deigned to notice me for the past two years. It was like having my heart stomped on all over again, day after day, except, this time, it'd hurt worse. I didn't want to hate Collin, but, frigging a, I did. Depressed, and always on the verge of tears, I'd had to let him go. I'm ashamed to say—because he has been nothing but good to me—that was probably why I had started dating Luke.

Collin stepped back. He dropped his gaze and rubbed his jaw. The moment his eyes left mine, I bolted. It shouldn't be that hard for my bikini to blend in with all the other half dressed girls.

"Kenzie!"

I tried to move faster.

"Kenzie, wait!"

It was a surreal thing, mob mentality. I felt the dance shift around me. Girls parted before me and closed ranks behind me. Something warm and fuzzy blossomed in my chest as gratitude seeped through me. I probably knew less than one in twenty of these women but every last one of my college sisters had my back. By the time I reached the edge of the impromptu dance floor I was moving at a sprint. Even the looky-loo man-boys ringing us girls parted for me.

"McKenzie, wait!" It wasn't Collin calling. It was Ashley.

Life is funny—and heartbreaking. My BFF, Collin, had dumped me flat on my ass when he'd started dating Ashley because she'd been jealous. Now my BFF was my worst enemy and my worst enemy was my BFF. We'd done rush together. We'd pledged together. We were sisters. We'd cried on each other's shoulders when the older sisters had almost defeated us. Drenched in tears, she'd apologized. Collin hadn't. I wouldn't trade Ashley for the world, not even to go back in time and fix shit. Still, I couldn't stop. I was not prepared to face the asshat that had been like the Earth to my Moon from age four to fourteen.

I skid to a stop by the dragon's hoard of beach gear that my sorority sisters and I had ditched. I fished my bikini cover-up out of the pile, grabbed my bag and hopped as I slipped a mismatched pair of flip flops on. I didn't care whose they were. My sisters and I would sort it out at the house. Or not. It wasn't like eighty percent of them weren't size eight and pink.

Ashley trotted up to me. "Kenzie, what's wrong?" Worry tinged her tone.

I said one word. "Collin"

Ashley stared at me. I wanted to talk more. And I would, just not here. I needed to be gone before he found me. My heart already felt like it had been wrung out like a sponge. Running in flip flops never worked out well so I walked as fast as I could across the bike path that circled the lake, glanced to make sure there was no traffic and sped out into the street.

Ashley grabbed her stuff, slid on two more random flip flops and raced up beside me.

"Should I call Luke?"

We reached the other side of what had once been part of the Looking Glass Highway. It ran from Mt. Bachelor to the McKenzie Highway. The school had funded a bypass and it was now Greek Row, well, Greek Row combined with every other form of student housing imaginable. We skipped up on the sidewalk and I sighed.

"No. He's not in town yet."

Although Luke's parents weren't friends with my parents the way my dad and Collin's single father had been, in a weird way, Luke was another friend of the family. His older brother, Brian, was engaged to my oldest sister, Salene. Although we'd attended Siuslaw High together, I hadn't hung with him as a teen. We'd started dating last winter. In the beginning Luke had sat beside me while I bawled my eyes out over Collin not noticing me. He'd told me it had been no big deal. He'd said he had just been trying to get into my panties. I didn't believe him, because Luke was a poli-sci major with big plans. His mother was on the Oregon Legislative Committee. He couldn't afford to be the type that dropped a girl's panties without thinking about how it might impact his future. And yes, after we started dating, I let him into my panties on the regular. He'd been my first since, well, nevermind. He didn't do it for me but he was kind and attentive. I didn't mind giving. I didn't want to go all Collin-crybaby-tears on him again. I love him. I didn't want to make him feel insecure.

"McKenzie!"

Shit. We were almost to the house. I picked up my pace. Ashley turned to face the enemy. Despite having history with Collin, Ashley had my back. Ohmigod, I love my girl. I almost stopped because I was curious to see how he reacted when he realized who it was that guarded my heart. Unfortunately, I didn't dare. I couldn't trust myself. I might like punch him again.

"She doesn't want to talk to you, Collin." Ashley's mezzo-soprano crested on her highest note.

"Ashley?" I could hear the stunned tone in Collin's voice. I was almost to the porch and I wondered if he'd notice me peeking out the window after I locked myself in the house.

"Go away, Collin."

"Fuck you, Ash." His voice was low, deadly and dripped poison.

What! No! No one talks to my girl that way! I dropped my wished-it-were-Louis Vuitton bag and pirouette in a one-eighty.

Collin had stepped around Ashley and was cutting across the yard towards me. Ashley was chasing after him. I marched up to him and—

Crack!

Ow. Ow. Frigging a, OW! Hot sting erupted in my palm and all my fingers.

"Damnit, Kenzie, would you stop hitting me?" He scrubbed his fingers against his cheekbone and this time I could see a red print on his sun kissed skin and, yes, it looked a bit like my hand.

"Why? Does it hurt?"

"Yes," he growled. "Happy?"

Ashley was a step behind Collin and rapidly typing on her phone. I was pretty sure she was sending out a sorority wide SOS.

"Oh, poor baby. Hockey god got hurt?" I steeled my will, because, ohmigod, my hand hurt. My fingers throbbed, not just with slap-sting, but with the bone bruising my fingers suffered from his stone jaw earlier. I was not going to let him see that I had hurt myself too.

"Kenzie, I just want to talk." He held up his hands as if to show me he held no weapons. It didn't reassure me. Collin was a weapon—and not just because he had the power to run my heart through a shredder. I would never believe in a billion years that Collin would actually hit me, like I'd done to him, I'm ashamed to say, but he was ripped with enough muscle he could deck Donkey Kong. It wasn't fair, because it was distracting. As soon as I noticed, drool pooled under my tongue and I felt a warm La Croix fizzle that only Luke, or my vibrator collection, should have been able to inspire. I bit my lip, because frigging a!

"There's nothing to say."

He ran a hand through his sandy-brown hair. It'd grown long enough to curl about his ears. I definitely shouldn't have noticed that. "When did you arrive? I mean, at Cascade?"

"Two years ago." I let my anger rule me. It was the only thing keeping the unicorn sparkles dancing across my skin from congregating in my crease. It had not felt like this when we were kids.

"What?" The word came out like a bark. His chiseled jaw momentarily slackened. "How come you haven't said anything?"

"Me? What about you?" My voice was not controlled. Or quiet.

"I didn't know you were here. I'm on the hockey team, first string! You know that! Your hockey god comment tells me you still watch."

"You told me to never speak to you again!" My voice sounded loud, shill and at least two octaves higher than normal. Hikers on top of South Sister might've been able to hear me.

I'm not sure the expression on his face would've looked any more pained had I driven a rail road spike through his chest. His voice came out rumbly—low. "Fuck, Kenzie, sorry. About that—"

I didn't want to hear it. Several of my sorority sisters were racing across the street in our direction. My heart melted a little, because, wow, it was nice having people who love you. Luke loves me. If he'd been in town he would've been with me. I'm not sure how I felt about that. Luke was fit, but Collin was taller and more...muscley. God, now that I had noticed, I couldn't un-noticed. Luke would try to do the whole alpha macho protecto thing and I wasn't sure Collin wouldn't lay him out. Luke would have zero problems claiming assault and calling the police. I didn't want to see Collin get in trouble.

"Time to go," I said. I reached around Collin and grabbed Ashley's elbow.

"Kenzie..." There was a defeated note in Collin's voice. It made my stomach burble like a witch's cauldron. I ignored the feeling and I showed him the French tip on my middle nail. Lengthening my stride, I dragged Ashley towards our house. We fled inside. I locked the door and peeked out the entry hall window.

Four of our sisters surrounded Collin. Hockey god or not, no one messes with a posse of pissed sorority girls. Collin shot a frustrated look my way and I dodged back from the window. But I couldn't help it, I peeked again.

He was looking up. For a moment, I couldn't imagine what he was seeing and then, shit, I realized he was memorizing our Greek name. The Phi Alpha Phi above our stoop was just about the only thing that differentiated our house from our neighbor's. Collin was coming back.

Something bright, hot and very, very painful blossomed in my heart. My eyes stung and hot-wet tracked down my cheeks. Why did hope hurt so much?

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is due to be released on Kindle Select on Feb 7th 2025. Due to the agreement there, I cannot have have more that 10% of the story available electronically elsewhere. Thus the remained of the chapters have been unpublished here. To read more, please visit: amazon.com/author/kayleelark