Comfort
Jesse didn't know how long she had been riding for. It had been early sunset when she left the others in her dust, and now the moon was rising over the dunes. Her horse had already slowed to a gentle trot after all that riding. She knew it was feeling just as tired as she was.
It had only been a matter of time before someone spotted her in that state, she thought to herself. She had been living off borrowed time for long enough. And despite all that had happened between her and Petra when they found that redstone portal, she was glad that it had been her who found her. She was uncomfortable with the idea of one of the townspeople or Harper finding her, and she doubted that Ivor would have handled the situation any better. She may have died right there and then if it had been Lukas; there was no way of living that scenario down.
But she had only made it worse by leaving them all like that. She couldn't help it. After she saw Petra everything just kicked into panic mode. She needed to get somewhere far away from everyone else and bring everything back under control. If she turned back now, she'd probably run into Petra and the others, and she wasn't in the mood to be interrogated. Besides, she was still feeling tired after all the riding, and her dreams always left her more exhausted than when she went to sleep.
She needed to find somewhere to stay for the night.
Suddenly, arrows started flying past her head. The horse neighed and bucked her off, speeding down the way to the town. Two skeletons stood in front of her, bows drawn and arrows ready. She leaped out of harm's way and sprinted towards them with her sword drawn, cutting her way through them.
She looked around the landscape frantically for a safe spot to camp. The vast endless plains had narrowed into a thin valley with sandstone cutting her off on either side. The only way was forward or back - neither was a good option. In the corner of her eye, she spotted a small cave opening in the sandstone to her right. It was a bit of a climb, but it was better than staying exposed in the open.
Jesse ran towards the first few blocks and started to climb, not daring to look anywhere but up until she made it all the way to the opening. As she hovered by the entrance, she checked her pockets for any items. Just the enchanted flint and steel, some raw chicken drumsticks, a normal flint and steel, and several sandstone blocks. It wasn't much, but it would have to do.
She entered the cave, gauging how large she wanted her shelter to be. Slightly further in, she spotted a small stream of water. That would come in handy. When she settled on a size, she covered up the tunnels leading deeper into the cave with the sandstone, leaving a small opening for her to get to the stream later.
She went back to the centre of her shelter with the normal flint and steel ready. She poised the steel at the ground and swiped the flint across its surface. The ground erupted into fire that blazed around the sand. She went back to the cave opening and swiped some sticks off a dead bush before feeding several to the fire. With the others, Jesse fashioned a makeshift grill for the chicken and placed both over the fire.
With her fire going and some food cooking, she headed back through her small doorway to the stream. She had no idea where the water was coming from. Maybe PAMA had sent several monsters to cut off the water flow here, and without them it had found another way around. Either way, she was glad for it, cupping it in her hands and splashing it across her face. She relished the cool sensation it left on her skin and brought some to her lips for a drink.
When her thirst was quenched, she settled on staring at the water's surface. Even though the stream was small, Jesse could see her reflection as she came closer to the water's surface.
Olivia once told her that she envied Jesse's hair. Those thick, glossy waves that fell gracefully past her shoulders, all the while holding in place without the need for any hairspray. She had never really cared about her looks. Regardless of the situation, the thought of looking pretty had never crossed her mind. It wasn't as if she spent time with anyone other than Axel and Olivia.
The only exception to that was when she used to enter the cosplay competitions at EnderCon. From Gabriel to Endermen, her cosplays would be heaped with compliments and praises. That was how she met Axel in the first place. He came dressed as Magnus, she as Ellegaard. They'd agreed to team up as a two-man act to win over the judges, hastily designing a quick sketch about the two of them fighting the Ender Dragon.
They didn't win, though. But Jesse was fine with that.
After that year, people began to ignore her instead. No one didn't seem to like Axel very much. Thought he was 'overly-dramatic'. At the time it was like her previous friends were giving her a choice: them or him. So she stopped cosplaying.
Apparently, Olivia had known all about her cosplaying endeavours when Axel introduced them. When Jesse told her about her early retirement, she introduced her to building. And she hadn't looked back since.
Jesse's mind snapped back to the reflection in front of her. It should have been the reflection of the girl who entered those building competitions year after year with her friends, who never lost hope even as they lost time and time again, the girl she had been before the Witherstorm.
But the girl looking back at her was a hollow shell of that life.
The water seemed to emphasize the dirt smeared across her face and those dark, heavy bags dulling her once cheery disposition. Her eyes, which once sparked with energy, were dark and empty. The ripples on the water's surface seemed to make her look older, far older, with stress lines wrinkling her features. And those luscious locks that Olivia cared so much for were more comparable to blocks of iron ore than anything else.
Jesse frowned as the wind picked up, distorting her features even more. Stupid reflections. But at least the water was returning. Slowly, of course, considering PAMA's efforts to remove it from this world entirely, but soon this barren wasteland would have a little more life returned to it.
Jesse left the stream and returned back to the cave's entrance, sealing the doorway up with the rest of her sandstone blocks. She gazed out at the night sky and the billions of stars scattered across the darkness. The rustling bushes went silent as the wind died down. A pack of wolves howled in the distance; the monsters would be out here soon.
But the risk was worth that lovely stillness, the peace, and tranquillity the desert brought.
A faint, yet succulent, smell wafted from the fire; the drumsticks were done.
Jesse snapped several sticks off a dead bush outside the cave and threw them into the fire, before grabbing the meat off the grill. It was a little burnt but was edible nevertheless. Not to mention that it was fresh and piping hot. The last time she had a hot meal was at her treehouse with...
The meat suddenly turned to mud in her mouth and became hard to swallow. That familiar hollowness in her chest reminded her to remain cautious as to where her thoughts would often take her.
Jesse put the remaining pieces away for safe keeping, sighing at the thought of how horrible cold, overcooked drumsticks would taste later.
She curled up near the fire with heavy eyes and prepared for a well-deserved nap. Before her exhaustion caught up with her, she silently prayed for a dreamless night.
~0~
"Jesse! Jesse wake up!"
Jesse moaned and turned away from the voice. "No," she said into her pillow, "Just another ten minutes."
There was a brief pause and the sounds of footsteps leading away. She smiled at her small victory and prepared to return to sleep.
Then an entire waterfall was dropped over her head.
"What!" She spluttered and coughed up the water, pulling her drenched bangs out of her face. "I was only-"
She stopped as she took in her surroundings. Sunlight streamed in through the windows, cracked slightly open to let in a fresh breeze. A couple of wild chickens were squawking somewhere outside, but that wasn't what she was focused on.
She was in her treehouse. Her treehouse. In her bed wearing her favourite pair of denim overalls. Her purple spiked armour and enchanted sword were nowhere to be seen. And at the foot of the bed...
At the foot of the bed.
"Reuben?"
He was sitting on his hind legs, shaking his head in disapproval.
There weren't any bruises or markings on his little body; his skin had a healthy glow to it.
Jesse stared at him in shock, reaching out to touch him. "Reuben? Is that really-"
"Well, of course, it's him, Jesse. Do you know any other pigs that can stay still for more than five seconds?"
Olivia stood over her, holding the offending bucket to her chest. Jesse couldn't help it - she stared back and forth between her friend and... Reuben.
"What's wrong Jesse? You look like you've seen a ghost." Reuben trotted to her side, nudging his head under her arms.
He was warm. There was a beating heart, right there in his chest. His tiny frame rose and fell in line with his soft breaths. Jesse lifted her arm further, allowing Reuben to jump onto her lap and nestle his head against her stomach.
He was alive?
Jesse frowned at the thought. Of course he was alive. Why wouldn't he be?
Jesse rubbed some of the water from her eyes and wiped her hands on her sheets. "Sorry, 'Liv. Just had the strangest dream."
Olivia raised an eyebrow but said nothing.
Suddenly, her bedroom door was slammed open. "Hey Olivia," Axel called loudly, "Is Jesse awake yet -Oh, hey Jesse."
"Axel?" she breathed. Why was she feeling so winded all of a sudden?
"Morning to you too," he said, quickly crossing his arms. "We weren't sure you'd ever wake up."
His comment seemed to trigger something in Oliva, because she suddenly huffed very loudly. "Yeah, I can't believe you chose today to sleep in. Of all of the days to pick, you had to choose today?"
Jesse swung her legs off the bed and sat on the edge. "Remind me why today's so important?"
Olivia and Axel shared an exasperated look. "It's the building competition!" They said in unison.
She groaned, putting her head in her hands. Right, of course. How could she have forgotten? "Wow, I am super sorry about that." she said sheepishly, "That's all on me. My bad."
Olivia shook her head with a smile. "Oh Jesse," she said jokingly, "Where would you be without us?"
"Well, at least we've already collected all the building materials." Axel shrugged, as Reuben hopped off her lap and onto the floor. She always loved the sound of his trotters on the wood planks. "We were gonna discuss it with you and all, but you were asleep."
Jesse looked up at the two of them in confusion. "Discuss what?"
Olivia put the bucket down at the front of Jesse's bed. "What to build as our entry for the competition."
"But hadn't we decided-"
"On a fireworks dispenser, yes, and we're still doing that. But Axel raised a good point earlier about the judges-"
"And how it would be a good idea to try and build something on top of the dispenser to try and grab their attention. Because while the dispenser is great and all-"
"It's just a dispenser. So we try and make the build something fun too!"
Jesse blinked dumbly at them. A weird feeling of déjà vu swept over her. Odd. "That sounds like a great idea!" She smiled.
"It is, isn't it? So I opted that we go for an Enderman-"
"And I said we should go for a Creeper."
"But we couldn't decide between us, so we asked Reuben."
"And he said my idea was better."
"So we went and collected some extra wool, dyed it green and black-"
"And then came back up here to get you."
Jesse smiled at the two of them. They always had a habit of interrupting each other whenever they were excited, but somehow always knew what the other was going to say as well. She couldn't have asked for a better pair of friends.
"So what were you dreaming about?" Axel asked, "You kept muttering and turning."
Jesse shook her head, as if trying to release some strain from her head. "It was really weird. We were at the building competition and were building something over the fireworks dispenser like you guys said - a Creeper too - and we were getting loads of attention from the crowd when Aiden punched someone else's lava pool."
"What a jerk." Axel spat, crossing his arms over his torso.
"Exactly. So some of the lava went on Reuben, and part of an Ender Dragon costume caught fire and-"
"Wait. Did you say an 'Ender Dragon' costume?"
Jesse raised an eyebrow at Oliva. "Yeah. Axel made it." Olivia looked over at Axel, who met her gaze with the same shocked expression. "Why do you ask?"
Axel looked at her sheepishly. "Well, I kinda made Reuben a costume for EnderCon. It's an Ender Dragon too."
Reuben oinked at her in surprise. At least they could all agree on something. "Wow. That's really weird." Jesse mumbled.
Olivia looked out of the window towards the rising sun. "We should probably get a move on before it gets too late. Don't want to be late to the competition."
"Yeah, why don't you tell us the rest of your dream on the way there?"
Jesse pushed herself onto her feet and smiled at them. "Sure thing." She paused for a moment. "Hey, before we go. What do you guys think of Lukas?"
The reaction was instantaneous. Axel's face scrunched up in disgust while Olivia huffed an angry breath. "He's an arrogant jerk whose only purpose is to ridicule us, along with those 'Ocelots'." Jesse winced at the way Olivia said ocelots. But they were right of course. Jesse knew that the Ocelots had always been rivals with Axel and Olivia even before she met them, and their hatred of them extended to her when she became friends with them.
Axel was the first out of the door, confidently striding out before the door swung shut behind him. Olivia wasn't too far behind, and soon Jesse was left alone with Reuben.
He looked up at her with mild concern. "Don't worry boy." Jesse scratched him behind the ears; he loved it when she did that. "I'm perfectly fine."
Reuben oinked as to say, "Yeah, I really find that hard to believe," but trotted through the doorway before she could say anything else.
Jesse looked around at her room as she headed for the exit. What a strange dream. But at least that was behind her now.
As she creaked the door open, a thought crossed her mind. "Hey, you know we should come up with a team name." She called out to them. "What do think of the 'The Order of the Pi-"
~0~
Suddenly, she wasn't in her treehouse anymore. She was on a lone, barren plain, with the wind howling in her ears. The sky was dark with a full moon, illuminating the land with a faint purple hue. People were crying and screaming all around her, but there was no one in sight.
"Axel? Olivia?" She yelled into the wind. "Where are you?"
Their own screams echoed back to her, chilling her to the bone.
Suddenly, there was a loud roar that shook the ground beneath her. Looking up, she saw the mother of all monsters. Three black heads stared down at her with beady eyes, baring mouthfuls of razor-sharp teeth at her and swiping their long tentacles in the air.
Jesse felt her knees turn to jelly as she took in the horror above her. "No." Her breathing was laboured and shaky. "No, you're dead. You're dead!"
As if in response, the Witherstorm belted another earth-shaking roar at her. Behind it, another two storms emerged, each with another set of heads and teeth. As she felt their greed oozing off their slimy bodies, she knew exactly what they saw her as.
Fresh meat.
Jesse ran for it. The storms roared again and the path ahead of her was suddenly lit with purple beams. Each one zig-zagged straight towards her, forcing her to dodge, leap and sometimes trip out of their way. The plain continued for miles and miles ahead of her with no visible end.
Suddenly, just as she dodged one of the beams, another headed straight towards her as she leaped. There was no time to move out of the way, and before she knew it she was hovering high above the ground.
"No! NO!" Jesse screamed and wriggled, trying to get out of the beam. But she was too high up to get away. Those heads came closer and closer towards her until she was directly in front of them. They snapped at her, all wanting a bite out of her, closer and closer, until-
~0~
She was falling through the air, screaming all the way until she landed on the ground. Hard.
Groaning, she struggled to push herself to her feet. Every muscle in her body ached and cried out in distress, begging for a rest. No matter how hard Jesse tried, her limbs just weren't strong enough to push her up.
"Why must you keep struggling Jesse?" Jesse felt her heart sink all the way to her stomach. She slowly looked up, hoping, pleading with whatever forces that were out there, that it wasn't who they thought it was.
But those forces had always been cruel to her.
PAMA smiled down at her from their large computer screen, with that eerie green gaze. "It would be much easier for everyone if you just gave up."
A pair of hands suddenly hauled her up, pulling her backwards towards a chipping machine. On one arm was Petra and the other was Lukas, their red eyes and a distant expression delivering a final panic-stricken blow to Jesse's gut.
"Please, Petra, Lukas, snap out of it!" she pleaded with them. Petra refused to meet her eyes, but she caught the attention of Lukas. She gazed into his eyes, trying to find a glimmer of the friend she knew. "Please Lukas," she felt a tear run down her eye, "I'm your friend. You have to fight it, Lukas!"
Another pair of hands wrapped around her neck, choking her pleas out into strangled gasps. She always imagined Ivor being stronger than he looked.
They pushed and held her underneath the machine, while the main contraption readied itself to be deployed. Jesse struggled against their grip: Ivor had gone off to man the machine while Petra and Lukas stretched her arms out. Her legs felt heavy and tired, acting as nothing more than dead weights.
"I told you that you would fail against me, Jesse." PAMA beamed at her. "Why did you ever think otherwise?"
Somewhere deep inside her, Jesse found the energy to shout. "You can't force me to be your slave, PAMA!" The grips on her arms tightened and pulled harder. Jesse screamed in agony, feeling her arms being ripped from their sockets. "I'll...fight...you..."
"Oh Jesse," PAMA smiled condescendingly at her, "Haven't your 'adventures' taught you anything?"
Jesse could hear the machine head lock into place. She squeezed her eyes shut, tears running down her face.
"You have achieved nothing but failure. Because of you, Redstonia lies in ruins, and Magnus will never lay his eyes upon his beloved Boom Town ever again. You killed Magnus, you took his armour. The Order has been reduced to nothing because of you: Gabriel, Ellegaard, and Soren will never find peace or comfort in this world ever again. They will be chased from town to town in disgrace and be forced into the furthest corners of the world for the rest of their days.
"Aiden, Maya, and Gill will never return back to their homes, and Cassie Rose will never see the light of day. And your previous Reuben will forever curse your name, how you failed to save him, how you let him die."
The tears were running faster now. All Jesse could think of was Reuben. From the moment they first met under that waterfall years ago, to when they'd played fetch in the summer sun. Every moment, every memory pulsed through her brain until it hurt.
"You have failed Jesse. And everyone knows it."
~0~
Jesse lurched forward with tear stained eyes. The cave was blurred from the tears still running down her face; the only thing she could make out were the cool ashes of her campfire.
Sobs racked through her body, shaking her to the core. "Reuben," she whimpered softly, before bursting into another wave of tears.
He was in her arms. Her arms! She longed to pet his head, to feel his warmth in her arms again. Instead, she hugged herself tightly, trying to fill that black void within her.
Suddenly, something tackled her from behind. Jesse yelped as a zombie pinned her to the ground. It punched and scratched her before she could even draw her sword. She sniffed angrily, pulling her sword out.
"GO AWAY!" she howled, slashing it in half in a single sweep.
But before she could get to her feet, another two zombies started attacking her. As she prepared for another attack, a third zombie smacked her sword out of her hands. It flew all the way to the cave opening and right off the edge.
"You stupid-" She kicked it into her stick grill and into the fire, setting it alight. It waved it arms around wildly, bumping into other neighbouring zombies and spreading the glow. Thankfully, instead of heading towards her, most of the burning monsters headed straight for the exit, throwing themselves off the cliff. But with every zombie she kicked away, another two swarmed around her, punching and pummelling her against the rocky wall. Bloody tears ran down her face, the former coming in abundance from her nostrils, mouth and a small nip on her earlobe.
In a brief space in the mob, Jesse spotted that all the monsters were coming in from that small space in the wall she had covered up with sandstone. "Dammit!" she cursed to herself. The zombies on this biome were apparently far more tenacious and stronger than those back home, even without PAMA's mind control chips.
There was no way she could hope to get out of this alive. Not without any weapons or backup. Her sword was gone and she was miles from the town. The rest of her friends were probably still fast asleep where she had left them, none the wiser of the danger she was in right now.
Time seemed to slow with every hit she took. Jesse could feel herself fading away. She had long since lost all sensation of her arms, while her legs weren't much help when they were being trampled by the horde.
It was just as PAMA had said.
She really did fail at everything.
For a moment, Jesse thought she heard a sharp cry outside but quickly passed it to one of the moaning zombies. A zombie on her right prepared to make the finishing blow. Jesse decided that even if she couldn't defend herself, she would still go down fighting. As the zombie came close, she spat a glob of bloody spit directly onto its face. It seemed dazed by the attack, but only for a split second. Jesse stared it down with a smirk as it came back for the kill.
"JESSE!"
A sword punctured through the zombie before it even touched her. Her sword. As it slid back out, the zombie puffed into smoke.
She couldn't be any more surprised to see who was wielding it.
"Lukas?!"
Lukas cut down the mob, slashing Jesse's sword back and forth as hard as he could. To her surprise, Petra and Ivor were right behind him. Together, Lukas and Petra forced the horde back and away from Jesse while Ivor threw potions at any monster that came through the small opening. As quickly as they had come, the horde was gone. Lukas immediately ran towards Jesse and bent down to her level. Beads of sweat from the midnight humidity trickled down the side of his face, as he took in her appearance.
He and Ivor silently lifted her arms over their shoulders and pulled her to her feet. The sudden movement made the whole cave start spinning and caused an unbelievable amount of pain, but she managed to stay upright without fainting.
More moans echoed behind them as they limped towards the exit.
"We need to keep moving!" Petra yelled, keeping her sword drawn and back facing the others.
"I have some cobblestone in my inventory." Lukas offered, slowly helping Jesse out of the cave. "If we can get to the bottom of the mountain and put some distance between us and here, we should be able to make it to a safe spot to camp."
As they reached the end of the cave, Ivor lowered himself down to the next block before helping Jesse down next to him. Lukas then repeated the same action, while Petra slowly followed them while keeping an eye on the horde. None of them dared to speak until they had reached the bottom of the mountain. It was then that Jesse saw exactly how they had managed to catch up with her.
Three horses were tethered to a makeshift pole nearby some cactuses, neighing at the monsters emerging from the cave: one black, one grey, and the majestic brown horse that had carried her here. Lukas let Jesse go for a moment to get onto the horse while Ivor stood by her side. She was already feeling lightheaded again, but before she could collapse Lukas grabbed her arm and heaved her onto the back of the horse. Ivor yelped as a zombie fell down next to them, puffing into smoke as it did. They looked up to see the horde walking straight to the cliff edge and falling straight down, each one landing dangerously closer than the last.
Ivor and Petra each hopped onto one of the remaining horses, kicking them into a fast gallop.
"Hold on and don't let go!" That was her only warning before Lukas sharply kicked the horse into a gallop, the sudden jolt almost taking her off. Now she knew what Petra felt like back when they were running from the Witherstorm.
"How did you guys find me?" Jesse struggled to put the words together. It was painful to speak, let alone breathe.
"We kept following your trail on horseback until your horse nearly ran into us. It took all three of us to calm it down. Then it was just a matter of following its tracks and looking for any signs of life. Ivor spotted your sword near the cactuses. When we went to investigate it, we heard your voice and spotted the burning zombies."
"And while we're on the subject," Petra quickly interjected, "What the hell were you thinking? Riding off into the desert like that so close to nightfall without an explanation."
"I told you I just needed some fresh air!" Jesse shot back angrily, trying to hide the tear streaks she knew covered her face in Lukas' back.
"Petra," Lukas called to Petra over the wind. "This can wait."
No one said anything after that. Jesse wasn't sure whether she should feel relieved or worried by that.
They rode on for what felt like hours before they finally pulled their horse to a stop. Petra and Ivor dismounted first, while Lukas threw over his cobblestone for them to start building. While they began on a makeshift shelter, Lukas dismounted the horse as quickly as possible, leaving Jesse to cling to the horse instead. The light-headedness swiftly returned, with a sharp throb coursing through her skull. Jesse groaned softly, feeling her grip on the horse loosen ever so slightly.
Suddenly, Lukas was there to catch her as she fell, calming the horse as he did. "Whoa, easy there. Don't make any sudden movements." He leaned his shoulder for Jesse to lean on, guiding both her and the horse into his makeshift shelter. The front was currently unmade, allowing the horse in without any difficulty. Lukas left the horse at one corner of the building while helping Jesse down at the other.
"Let me help you with-" Jesse hissed as another bout of pain lanced through her head.
"Nope. Not gonna happen. You just tell me if you feel faint, alright."
Reluctantly, Jesse stayed seated, watching Lukas as he dug into the sandstone and built a small stable for their horses to rest. Ivor came to her holding a vial with a reddish looking liquid.
"Drink this," he told her. "It should help with your injuries."
She gladly gulped down the whole thing, grimacing as she felt it tingle down her throat and into her stomach.
Petra soon finished covering the entrance with the remaining cobblestone and marked their exit with a single door. Meanwhile, Ivor left to begin building a small staircase and another room above them. Petra went up to help Ivor with the roof, and Lukas started working on a small campfire. Soon enough, the whole room was illuminated with light.
An idea popped in Jesse's head. "I've got some burnt drumsticks if you'd like." Lukas looked up at her from the fire. "I just thought in case you were hungry."
"Sure. I've got the grill." He said as his features softened, but only by a little.
Jesse painstakingly got out the drumsticks and tossed them over, trying to look as casual as she could without grimacing. The action was excruciating, but she somehow managed to keep it from showing on her face. Lukas caught the drumsticks in his hands, but the action hadn't gone unnoticed. His smile faded a little, as if he could somehow sense her pain, but he kept quiet as he placed the meat over the top of the grill.
"Careful not to burn them even more," Jesse joked, "I've already managed to make a mess of that."
She quickly noticed Lukas' silence and his blank face. She could have almost passed it as expressionless if she hadn't noticed his hardened eyes and tight lips.
Petra and Ivor still hadn't come back downstairs. It wouldn't surprise her if they had made some kind of agreement on something like this before finding her. And they had - the three of them had agreed that Lukas would be more suited to talking to her about this, while Ivor and Petra remained upstairs.
"Why did you run, Jesse?"
While the question was expected, his tone caught her off guard. He sounded tired and weary, no doubt from her rescue, but Jesse got the feeling it was from more than just that. She didn't have the heart to give an answer. He noticed that.
"I'm going to be straight with you, Jesse," he sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "You go running off out of the blue without so much as telling us where or why you're going. And you do this immediately after the whole business with PAMA."
Jesse opened her mouth to interject, but Lukas held his hand up. "Let me finish." So she went back to silence.
"Now don't get mad when I say this, but know you have a tendency to apologize for everything."
"No, I don't!"
Lukas shot her an unimpressed look. "Seriously? Everyone knows you do."
Jesse rolled her eyes. "Alright, name one time that I've done so without a good reason."
"How about the time you told everyone that Magnus' death was on you."
She shook her head. "Had a good reason - I took his armour."
"Which he gave to you. And you had no way of knowing what would happen. Axel and the rest of us told you that ourselves."
"If that's your only example, I'm not impressed."
"You're forgetting the time you apologized for not backing me up when I was fighting Aiden on Sky City."
"If what they said about the Void was true, then you could have died, Lukas!"
"But it wasn't, and I'm glad you went for the Founder instead of me."
"You're just as important, Lukas!"
A little butterfly fluttered in his chest, but Lukas ignored it for the time being. "She rules over an entire city of people, Jesse! What would have happened if she had fell and the Void was real? Milo being left in charge of the city? The fact that she implemented those restrictions, no matter how crazy, and risked herself daily to fight the monsters out of those eggs to get the resources is proof enough that whatever she did, she did to protect her people."
Jesse groaned loudly, shifting her eyes to the horse instead of Lukas and crossing her arms. "The fact remains that you haven't proven anything."
"Really?" Now Lukas sounded more than a little agitated. "Well, I'm just getting started."
Jesse sighed, studying the horse in more detail. She needed to divert the topic and quickly. But Lukas was showing no sign of stopping.
"You blamed yourself after TorqueDawg, Sparklez and Lizzie died, you blamed yourself for unchipping Petra first when you thought I died, and you still blame yourself over Reuben!"
The words were like a bullet to the heart, tearing through her tendons and muscles before ripping out of her back. The hollowness had returned, and partnered with her current injuries made for a terrible combination. Jesse wrapped her arms around her - appearances be damned - and tucked her head into a more comfortable position on her knees.
Lukas grimaced at her instantaneous reaction but continued nevertheless. "PAMA spoke through me. I know you think you're failing us-no, everyone with this portal hopping, and that you're still shaken up over how the Witherstorm went down. We don't expect you to be this perfect leader; Gabriel's amulet put you at the centre of the Witherstorm."
"So why are you telling me this?" Jesse's voice was muffled by her kneecaps.
Lukas paused before answering, gazing sadly at her broken form. "If there's anything you know about me by now, it's that I notice things. Just like when Petra got Wither sickness, you didn't have to tell me that something was wrong." He paused again. "You've become a very different person over such a small period of time. Most of that's a good thing: you're braver, have more combat experience, and always know how to make the best of a bad situation. None of us could be a better leader than you! But sometimes it feels as if you expect yourself to be absolutely perfect, all the while taking everything onto your shoulders."
Jesse could hear Lukas move across to her, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Jesse." he said softly, "You know you can always talk to us about it. That you can talk to me."
And that was it. Every single thing that had been gnawing inside her burst forth in a single wave of emotions. Fresh tears were streaming down her face before she realized it.
But Lukas was there. He always had been. Most of the time at least. He wrapped his arm around her, bringing her to his chest. Jesse brought her face out of her knees and rested them against his torso, hiccupping and gasping in between sobs.
"I miss him so much." she whispered, as Lukas' shirt dampened with her tears.
"I know. And it's okay. Just let it all out."
Jesse half chuckled, half sobbed at his repetition of her words to him when they went into the End.
"I keep dreaming about him, Lukas. It's always him, then the Witherstorm, sometimes the White Pumpkin's mansion. But now PAMA's there too, and it's just...it's just-" Jesse hiccupped as a sob wracked through her chest.
"Tell me what happens."
"You, Petra and Ivor are all chipped and pulling me towards that stupid machine. I try calling out to you, but it doesn't work. Then PAMA's taunting me all the while about everything: how I'm a failure, how I've let so many people die under my watch, how Cassie, Aiden, Maya and Gill won't ever see their homes again because of me."
Lukas stiffened slightly. "Holy crap, Jesse. You don't really blame yourself for Aiden and Cassie do you?"
She sniffed loudly, too embarrassed to meet his gaze. "Um...kinda? Yes?"
He sighed, cupping Jesse's face in his hands and lifting it up to his. Jesse stared into his delicate and kind eyes. "Jesse, Aiden, and Cassie both did horrible things to get where they are now. And PAMA used your guilt against you so you'd lower your guard. You should never have to blame yourself for what happened."
Jesse smiled at him, placing her hands over his.
"Back at Soren's fortress, you told me that it wasn't my fault Petra got Wither sickness. Now it's my turn to tell you."
She had heard those words a thousand times, but there was something different about this. She had always felt that people would say those words because they felt like they had to. That's all they were - empty condolences for those she had lost. But this time, there was real meaning behind them. This was a carefully worded reassurance from someone who knew her well enough to see the turmoil brewing inside of her, and cared about her enough to help her through it.
Jesse squeezed her eyes shut, the final tear leaking past her defences, as she pressed herself into Lukas. "Thank you, Lukas."
He hugged her tighter, resting his chin atop her head. "No problem."
Jesse didn't know when, but they somehow dozed off in that position of security and safety. The gentle beating of Lukas' heart lulled her into a sweet nap, one that was thankfully free from any of her dreams. They stayed like that for hours, and could have easily remained there for even longer if it wasn't for their other companions.
The first thing Jesse became acutely aware of was the smell of burning. Then Petra running down the steps and hollering at the top of her voice, "MEAT IS BURNING! THE MEAT IS BURNING!"
Jesse and Lukas jumped at her voice, waking up to see the small grill and the drumsticks engulfed in a small fireball. Ivor joined them with a bucket of water, splashing it over the fire. The ball sizzled and crackled out, leaving a melted hunk of iron and the meat in its wake.
"I'm guessing the drumsticks..." Lukas trailed off as he saw the smoke rising from the charred pieces of meat. The drumsticks, which were already blackened when they were put on the fire, could practically pass as charcoal.
Petra glared at them as she kicked the meat and iron out of the way and stomped the remaining embers. "Don't you guys know not to leave cooking unattended?" Jesse and Lukas exchanged the same sheepish glance.
"At least we've discovered a new source of charcoal?" Jesse joked. That at least earned a chuckle from Lukas. The same couldn't be said for Petra and Ivor.
Jesse untangled herself from Lukas and snagged the pieces into her inventory, while Lukas took the iron away. Petra started to deconstruct the front of the shelter, taking the door with her, until there was a doorway large enough for the horses to pass through. The rest of them took a horse each and led them out into the daylight. The few monsters scattered around them were already set alight by the morning sunrise.
Jesse gave her brown horse to Petra and went to join Lukas on his black horse.
"Remember Jesse," Lukas said as he helped her up. "You can always talk to me if you need to."
"I know," she smiled, as they headed back to town.
~0~
Thankfully, they made it back to the town without any more trouble, just as the first villager rose out of bed. The town was already starting to shape up: PAMA's large screen was almost completely dismantled, while the chickens were happily running around in their coop. As they pulled their horses into a gentle trot and steered them towards the stable, Jesse spotted the exit portal in the middle of the houses.
It was now completely finished and stood proudly in the sunlight in all its glory; Harper must have worked on it throughout the night. Standing at eight feet, the light danced off the gold border while the redstone blocks glittered beneath them. Harper was leaning on its border, waving at them as they came closer.
"Wow." Lukas breathed as he took in the magnificent build.
Ivor looked at him smugly with his arms crossed over his puffed up chest. "Yes, it's something else, isn't it? That's the brilliance of the Old Builders, I guess." Jesse, Lukas, and Petra looked at each other with a knowing smile behind his back.
"You should try asking her for some private one-to-one lessons," Petra smirked. Jesse grinned at his flabbergasted expression.
"Glad to see you four have finally woken up!" Harper perked as they came within an audible distance. "The portal's all rearing to go."
Jesse looked up at the portal. "So this will take us back to the hallway?"
"Yep, and from then on I'll help you folks back home. All it needs is the flint and steel."
She pulled out the item, its familiar blue glow illuminating their faces, and struck the two together. Sure enough, sparks flew from the steel and filled the portal with a glorious red glow.
Harper went in first with Ivor hot on her heels, no doubt itching to ask questions of his own. Lukas flashed her a smile before he went in too.
Petra quickly pulled Jesse back before she joined him. "You know, Jesse, for all the grief we gave each other getting to this world, I'm really glad we came." She grinned at her before heading through.
Jesse took one last look behind her, taking in the desert humidity and letting the night before sink in. While thoughts of Reuben were still present at the back of her mind, they weren't as painful to think of as before. In time she would be able to look back on all of her adventures with a smile, focusing only on the good they'd done rather than the bad.
And looking at the town, she knew they would be just fine. Harper would be brought back into the fold and they would move on with their lives.
Just as she would.
She smiled to herself, letting the thought settle in her stomach. And somewhere deep within her, a fire was lit in that blinding darkness, filling her cracked heart with warmth and hope.
"Me too Petra," she said to herself, stepping through the portal. "Me too."
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