Nigeria, Abuja.

The night seems so short.

It feels like a blur.

One minute he is falling asleep after praying Fajr prayers and the other, the door bell is ringing loudly through the house. When he managed to come out of his sleep trance, he walked to the door shocked to see a chauffeur holding a big basket of food.

He coughed exchanging pleasantries with him. "Hajiya sent me with this" he announce and Khaleel stayed flabbergasted.

"Sorry, which Hajiya?"

"Hajiya'n Captain"

Ya Maamah.. only Ya Maamah will send him varieties of food by eight o'clock in the morning. Moving out of the way, the chauffeur dropped the dishes on the table before taking his leave.

Khaleel sighed closing the door behind him. When he retrieved his phone from the room, he dialled Ya Maamah's phone who answered immediately.

"Assalamualaikum Khaleelu!"

"Wa'alaikum salaam Ya Maamah. Good morning Ma! Thank you for the food"

"Anytime. I figured out you might not have bought food stuffs yet. By the way, how is she feeling?" She asked honestly concerned which made his heart swell with love. Even though Ya Maamah has no idea Aamirah miscarried her rapist baby nor does she know anything about Aamirah, the fact that he told her she is sick is enough for to make her this concerned.

"Alhamdulilah, better"

"Alhamdulilah. So when are you bringing her over? I need to prep her on how to take care of you.."

He chuckled, "Inshallah soon"

"Your definition of soon is different from mine Khaleel" she paused, "Layla! Drop that thing!" After few shuffling, she returned, "ok mom duty calls. Talk to you later!"

"Sure, thank you again, bye"

"Anytime" she hung up. Drafting two messages, one a good morning to Batool and the other to Faridah, he walk towards Aamirah's room and gently knocked on the door.

It felt like someone knocked his breathe out of him, when she pulled open the door hitting his nostrils with sweet scent of hers decked up in navy blue form fitting blouse and black skirt, he gaped, shamefully. Admiring her enchanting, radiant natural beauty hypnotically.

She looked away, shyly, hating how his dark orb take over her body. She didn't know what she was thinking when she agreed to marry Khaleel. How on Earth did she managed to convince herself that it will be easy.. marry Khaleel, the handsome, sweet, thoughtful man and just get through it.. utterly impossible!

Ya Azeez! Help her.

She adjusted the black veil draped over her head and that brought him out of his trance. He coughed. Then slowly, he backed away as if regaining consciousness.

What is she doing to him?

This.. the deep painful love he is experiencing for Aamirah will be the death of him.

As they sat on the dinning table to eat, he noticed. Of course he will notice! How stupid does she think he is? He saw the new fresh cut on her elbow, deep and red peeking from beneath her veil and flay hand blouse.

Aamirah was too busy forcing the food down her throat and drowning in her thoughts of sorrow to notice his piercing hurt gaze on her hand. When he stood up and pushed the chair back forcefully, she gasped the tears spilling.

"Khaleel.."

"Why will you do that? Innalilahi wa'ina ilayhi raji'un" he heaved breathing heavily. "Just the thought of you, hurting yourself haunts me Aamirah. Do you know that?"

She broke down into full mode tears. Crying, shaking, breaking. He will never understand.. no matter how she explains why she hurts her body.

"Let me see!" He demand staring at her with bloodshot eyes filled with hurt. "Aamirah let me see"

"No"

Sighing, he knelt before her whispering calming dua's under his breath. He said, "I know your going through a lot. It's okay. It will be fine. Do you know that Allah never burdens a soul upon which it cannot bear?"

The tears rolled down fast. Gushing, decorating her face.

"Do you know how strong you are? You are so strong Allah knows you can pass this test. I believe in you Mimi"

"Khaleel.."

"Ya Allah.. Aamirah, I, I care about you so much" he pulled her into a hug, not because he really needs to touch her but because he was about to confess. So soon. He had almost uttered the words she doesn't need to hear now.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry" she cried wrapping her hands around his neck. Tightly. Letting her tear fall on his shirt.

"You don't need to cut yourself to be in control of your emotions"

They stayed silent. Embracing each other as the emotions bubble between them. Inside of them.

When he pulled away and kissed her forehead, she almost lost it. Right there. "Can I see? Please" he asked carefully, softly, worried she will decline him that request.

Aamirah wiped away her tears and nod her head, the moment his finger brushed her wrist, she flinched, not in a scared way but in a flabbergasted goosebumps way. They new way Khaleel makes her feel. He makes her feel warm.. warm and so much stronger.

Gently, he pushed away her veil and raised the sleeves of her blouse. She heard the intake of his breath when he saw the new big gnash on her elbow. His fingertip brushed the wound depriving a painful hiss from her mouth. Khaleel looked up regretfully, "What did you use?"

She looked away shamefully. "Aamirah.. what was it?"

There he goes with the nerve wracking Aamirah..

"Blade" she replied hoarsely

"Can you promise me that you will never cut yourself? Please"

"It's not me Khaleel. I don't control my emotions, it happens, it's a moment and then.. I just lose it and feel the need to do it"

He sighed. "Then you call me when your in that moment. Okay? Just.. promise me"

Nodding her head, she locked eyes with him seeing the enormous amount of care laying there. "Promise"

Satisfied with her reply, he stood up and continued eating his meal like none of that happened. Like none of that moment happened..

Of course it did!

He knew.. he is very much aware, this, the moment they just shared he will forever be grateful for it.

***

A little while after Khaleel returned back to reality after being drunk on the feeling, the feeling that is deep intense love for Aamirah. The door bell rang and this time, Faridah walked in holding a small suitcase. She hugged him immediately crying, "Ya Khaleelu"

"Faridah! Ya Rahman! Not Ya Khaleelu, please"

She laughed pulling away with a cherry contagious smile "It's been a while. Thank you for pulling me out of that dungeon, Mama Rabi won't be the death of me!"

He smiled, "Thank you for coming. How is she by the way?"

"Fine alhamdulilah, still nags a lot about everything"

They both laughed before he showed Faridah to her room. As much as he wants to stay with Aamirah he can't. He can't leave his Batool and his Raina. He can't be unfair to them so after talking to Ya Aisha earlier, he came to a conclusion to stay two nights with Aamirah and two nights with Batool, that way it will be fair on both women.

He knows he can't leave Aamirah all alone so he called Faridah, his maternal cousin who lost both parents when she was a small girl. She lives with Mama Rabi, his mother's aunt, who is his grandaunt.

As crazy as it sounds, Faridah is a lot like Myra who he is sure will brighten Aamirah and nag her ears off. Not that he can take the risk of leaving her all alone.. that is just unsettling. When Faridah had settled in so quickly, she decided to fill Khaleel on all that's happened in his absence. She even slipped up word on how this particular guy has been hot on her heels to tie the knot. Khaleel nearly fell from his chair, he broke into series of cough.

"Faridah you and marriage? I never thought I'll see this day but here we are.."

"Kai Ya Khaleel! What do you mean? I am eighteen for God's sake!"

"Your still young Faridah. I can clearly remember those days when you used to be so young and all you cared about was ice cream"

She was about to reply when she saw Aamirah. Walking stealthily inside the living room draped in a free pink gown. Her eyes fell on Faridah, then Khaleel who stared back with star gazed eyes. Then in such fast motion, Faridah pulled her in a hug and introduced herself. Aamirah was staggered, "Sorry for interrupting"

"This is your home Adda Aamirah! If anything, I am interrupting" Faridah waved her off.

It took a few minutes for Aamirah to let down her guard and when she did, she realized Faridah is harmless and just like Myra in every other way.

***

By now, you will think she will get used to this. The excruciating pain burning her heart, the blazing heat overshadowing her lungs. She can feel the tears spilling from her eyes. She is over this. The nightmares. Agonizingly painful disturbing nightmares haunting her every night.

Leaning on the headboard, Aamirah could spot Khaleel in the dark sleeping on the couch opposite the bed. She clutched her chest, breathing through the wave of pain that blast her. It all came crashing down on her, she could hear the distant sounds, the rough large hands tracing her body. When she shut her eyes forcefully, she saw herself sitting in one corner of the dark small room, yelling, begging for them to stop but it was of no use. It was too late. Of no use. She didn't know what had alerted Khaleel but she found him embracing her in a hug. She broke down fully.

"It's okay, your safe"

"I am tired. This is exhausting and so stressful" she cried out while Khaleel pulled away tenderly. He wiped his hand on her face to clean the gushing out tears.

"How can I help? Tell me please. I hate seeing you like this Mimi. I want to help" he asked frantically searching for answers. His heart cannot handle seeing her in this much pain. It is saddening and that only increases the chances of him spilling his words of enormous love for her.

"Will you pray with me?"

Khaleel nod his head. How is he suppose to tell this woman that he will do anything for her? Anything at all if he can. Without wasting another second, he watched her perform ablution and he also did. He laid the prayer mat for both of them while she draped her hijab. It was the most beautiful thing Aamirah has ever done in her life. She has prayed a lot in life but this feeling.. Ya Rabeel Aalameen.. this feeling, it's nothing she can ever compare with.

When she fell in sujood, indeed she found what she lost. At least a part of her piece restored. Waking her soulfully awfully shattered body. She felt the emotions bubbling inside her as Khaleel led them in prayers. They prayed until it was time for Fajr and when the finally finished uttering their adkhars, Aamirah crawled into his lap hugging him so tight. She didn't know what come over her or how she summoned the courage to be this close with him but it felt wonderful.

He felt like home. Like peace. The peace she has been craving for, looking for in this dirty disgusting painting of walls surrounding her.

He inhaled deeply wrapping his hands around her. When he heard the soft whimpers, it tightened his heart as he placed a soft kiss on her shoulder.

"Aamirah.."

There he goes with the toe curling, heart wrenching Aamirah. Nothing has ever messed up her head and feelings like the sound of her name rolling from Khaleel's lips.

"I need peace Khaleel. I know it's a lot to ask.." she inhaled deeply feeling his fingers on her back. Underneath her hijab rubbing her in the most comforting way ever. "But will you be my peace? Please Khaleel"

Ya Azeez!

This has got to be the most amazing thing Aamirah has ever said to him. Why is Aamirah asking him to be her peace doing all sorts of crazy wonders to him?

Maybe cause your in love with her. He smiled embracing that. Yes! Of course he is deeply, insanely, outrageously in love with Aamirah..

"I will be your peace Mimi. Thank you for choosing me"

She exhaled deeply feeling the weight being lifted off her. Her heart was erratically beating when his fingers slipped to her waist, gently wandering on her body. His touch is careful, slow as if scared but excited at the same time. She shivered and Khaleel could feel the wave of fright washing off her, he pulled back so he could face her.

"It's just me. Khaleel."

She closed her eyes breathing haggardly.

"Mimi look at me.."

When his finger move over to her stomach, she gasped, the awful memories rushing back in her head.

"Look at me Aamirah! Open your eyes!"

Within a second he had expertly removed her hijab leaving her in her pyjamas and a black cap on her head. The air conditioner kissed her bare neck and when their eyes locked, she saw the intriguing rare emotions in his eyes.

"I promise I won't hurt you. I just need you to get used to me and my touch" he had said and even though she understands, it is still very hard for her to feel his hand on her body rummaging tenderly without getting those disturbing nightmares. She just can't help but remember the first night it happened. He had also assured her it is just him and it will be quick as if she is suppose to understand why or just let him take her dignity. Just like that.

"I want to but it's hard. I, I.." she paused giving way for the tears while constantly trying to push away the bad, haunting memories

"Let me at least try.." the plea in his voice.

Nodding her head, she felt his hot breath fanning her neck. Then, in a swift second, she felt his lips on her collarbone. Imprinting tender kisses.

"S..stop. P-please. I-I.."

He knew he took it far. Too far but his feelings got the best of him. He pulled back and carried her to the bed where he pulled the comforter over her.

When he turned to leave, she called out, "I'm sorry. Please stay with me Khaleel. I'm sorry"

"You don't have to apologise. We will get there okay?" She nod her head wrapping her hands around him the moment he laid beside her. She could feel the warmth of his body close to her and she absolutely loves it.

It took everything in him to not touch her and beg her to please be comfortable with him. He desperately needs her to be safe with him and kiss him and love him just like he loves her.

It won't happen over night, he knows that. Of course he does.

He will be extremely patient regardless of how hard it will be.

With Aamirah,

He will be the most patient he has ever been.

***
Assalamualaikum! Hey!💓

The feels🥺 woooshhh. What do you think?

This chapter took way longer than I intended. Sorry about that. Also, I'm starting my first badge of exams on Monday..☹️ pray for me!!

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UGHHHHH who misses Batool? Cause I do!!!!!!!!!!😩