Nigeria, Abuja.

***

Rain.

It is raining, heavily.

Aamirah stared out the window worried, she has been waiting for him to come home. She has been waiting for a very long time. She has waited for him all her life.

Her peace.

The rain poured thunderously hitting the roof so hard scaring her slightly.

She has warned him about staying out so late because of work.. why is he always constantly putting work before his health?

She sighed closing the curtains before turning around and walking around the house.

It feels so empty and dull without him, without Khaleel. Suddenly, she heard the rapid knock on the door. Aamirah quickly moved as fast as she can to rip the door open. Her heart thundered in her chest. It's not Khaleel.

"Obey me!" He whispered harshly stomping inside her house.

"No!" She yelled frightened moving backwards. "How did you find me?!"

"I'm your only family Mimi"

She gasped feeling the tears cascade her face.

"NO!" she yelled so hard. "My husband will kill you! Run!"

He laughed glancing at her body before locking the door behind him. Her legs feel heavy. Her whole body feels heavy as if she is carrying an extra weight. She tried running, but it seems impossible. He caged her in his hold and touched her. Everywhere.

"Obey me you worthless, ungrateful child!" He roared ignoring her pleas and tears.

"DanAllah stop, please, please. You will hurt her, she's in me, so small and pure. Don't kill her"

It happened in a flash.

So fast she didn't catch a glimpse of him.

"It's okay Zawjaty, it's me" he caressed her face.

Aamirah blinked her eyes open, she stared at his perfectly sculptured face imprinting his face to her memory. She stepped back immediately. "You are a rapist!"

"Don't be like that my love,"

She moved back.

"Say my name"

She clutched onto her stomach fondly. Strange how she can feel little kicks from her stomach.

"Say my name,"

She moved back crying begging for an escape. "Rapist!"

"Aamirah, say my name!"

"Rapist! Rapist! Rapist!" She cried feeling the kicks so hard in her stomach.

"No sweetheart," he cooed slowly undressing her despite her protests, "it's Khaleel. Khaleel. Khaleel. Khaleel"

Aamirah gasped waking up from her awful nightmare. She found herself thrashing on bed with tears streaming down her eyes and the door being banged open.

Faridah ran to her worried, she switched on the lights.

"Adda Aamirah! Innalilahi wa'ina ilayhi raji'un!!! Are you okay? You are bleeding!"

Aamirah jumped from bed as if she has been possessed. She glanced at the blood smeared on the bedsheet, her abdomen tightened, her heart feels heavy.

She rushed to Faridah in tears, "Call Khaleel. Please call him, he wouldn't do that to me, it's all a nightmare right? Please tell me it's a nightmare. Subhanalilah! Faridah I'm doomed. They all want me.. why me? Why me?!" She fell on the ground crying.

Faridah was beyond shaken up, she quickly grabbed Aamirah's phone that's laying on the bedside table before dialling Khaleel's number without a second thought.

"I trusted him!" She screeched hugging her knees to her chest. "He touched me!! He is just like the rest!!" She rocked herself sitting in a pool of blood.

Faridah panicked dialling Khaleel's phone for the third time, "Ya Allah! He is not picking up!! Adda Aamirah your bleeding.. somewhere"

"I'm bleeding everywhere Faridah, most especially in my heart" she cried so loud. "It hurts, so bad. It has never been Khaleel... He, he did it too"

Faridah glanced at the time noticing it's almost time for Fajr prayers. She hopes Khaleel will check his phone when he wakes up for prayers because she has no idea what to do. She stared at the blood dripped bedsheet in horror.

"But.. you are bleeding!"

Aamirah felt the sharp pain in her abdomen. "Why did he do this to me?! Why ME?!"

"Adda Aamirah please get a grip of yourself, it was just a nightmare. Ya Khaleel will be home soon"

"First it was my uncle.. over and over Faridah and now Khaleel!"

Faridah tried dialling his number again clueless as to what Aamirah is talking about.

"There is.. blood"

Aamirah tried standing up. "I'm on my period"

"Oh" Faridah said still worried as to the much blood around. "Why don't you take a shower? I'll try calling Ya Khaleel"

She nod her head weakly slowly walking inside the bathroom. Faridah turned to leave, "No. Stay with me, please"

Faridah froze. "Okay.. I'll just wait in the room"

"Leave the door open"

Faridah obeyed looking away to give her some privacy. She tried calling Khaleel, over and over again until she decided to give up and just send him a text asking him to call her back.

Aamirah quickly washed herself off drowning in sorrow and fear. She changed into a cleaner underwear and clothes before joining Faridah in the room who managed to change the stained bedsheet.

"Is he coming?"

"He isn't picking but I'll keep trying" she replied sadly "are you okay? Do you need anything?"

Aamirah broke into tears falling on the bed, "I just need.. Khaleel"

Before Faridah could reply, Aamirah's phone strated ringing so she answered immediately. "Ya Khaleel.."

Khaleel was beyond worried, he woke up to pray Fajr and decided to check his phone that was on silent only to find absurd amount of missed calls from Aamirah and a very disturbed text to call back.

"Faridah.. what is going on? Is everything okay?"

"No. Ya Khaleel.. it's Adda Aamirah, she needs you"

His heart thundered in his chest. "What happened to her?"

"I don't know.. she woke up crying and thrashing on the bed, all I saw was blood and she is asking for you"

Khaleel almost tripped on the floor. "Ya Rabbi! Blood?!"

"Erm, yes"

"Did she get injured?"

Faridah paused, "not exactly"

"I don't understand Faridah.. did she, cut herself?"

"What? Of course not. Why will she do that?" Faridah asked taken aback.

"Then what happened?!" He asked bitting his tongue. Faridah doesn't know about Aamirah and her episodes.

"It's just.. she is menstruating" she replied lowly.

Khaleel laughed nervously, "Oh! Just, hand the phone to her please"

Faridah was quick and glad to do that. She decided to leave the room so she can give them some privacy.

"Assalamualaikum Aamirah"

Damn! The soothing Aamirah that makes shivers run down her spine.

Aamirah cried at his voice. Suddenly, she had a glimpse of him teasing her, touching her even when she begged him not to.

"Aamirah, what is it? Talk to me Zawjaty"

"No!" She replied harshly.

Khaleel was taken aback, "what is going on?"

"Your not like him, right?"

"Like who?" He asked confused.

"You won't touch me right?"

His heart fell in the pit of his stomach. "Of course not. Did you have a nightmare?"

She cried loudly, "Yes"

"It's just a bad dream my love, you are fine"

"I just.. want you with me. I am so scared it's like he will jump inside the house and take me away"

Trauma.

Khaleel knows this is just one of the many things victims of physical assault go through.

"No one is taking you away from me Aamirah" he said trying to sound assuring.

"Come to me Khaleel, please"

He can hear the call to prayer in the mosque few feet away from him so he sighed, "Just some hours my love. Soon"

"Okay"

"Okay" he echoed before ending the call and walking inside the mosque to pray. It took a lot of efforts for him to take his mind off Aamirah and concentrate on his ibadah. When the congerational prayer was over, he walked back to his in-laws house to meet Batool concluding her prayers.

"We need to leave" he declared.

Batool turned to him worried, "Now?!"

"Yes, Aamirah is having an episode, Faridah just called me" he took a deep breath embracing his wife in a hug. "I don't want to step my boundaries, I am sorry Batoolie, I'm doing it again"

She hugged him closer. "But this time, you are communicating with me"

"We can leave later if you want to stay longer"

"No, let's go. Aamirah needs you. Besides I have to get ready for my flight to Lagos, it's tomorrow morning"

He moved back slight and kissed her so hard. "I love you Habibty"

"I love you too Habibiey. Let's go home"

Home.

Batool is coming home with him.

"Don't ever leave me alone Fateemah, please"

She laughed pushing him backwards. "I'm going to Lagos tomorrow, of course I'll leave you"

He frowned slightly, "Do you have to attend the workshop?"

She sighed defeated, "it's my work Khaleel. You know that, let's not even go there, please"

"Fine. Save the world my rock!"

She laughed turning around to pack her clothes, "and you" she smiled supportively at him. "Save Aamirah!"

***

It feels like eternity. When she closes her eyes, all she can see is the nightmare playing over and over in her head. At a point, she gave up trying to sleep rather she laid on bed and stared at the ceiling crying and baring the awful pain in her legs, abdomen and head. She bared it all.

Faridah did not leave her sight. Not even for a minute. Instead, she stayed by her and comforted her while she cried. Twice, Faridah manged to get her to walk to the bathroom and change her underwear but it seems more impossible to get her to do it again. She feels tired, worned out, disgusted and weak to even talk. So she laid in bed, and cried and wished for Khaleel's presence.

When Faridah stood up to make breakfast, Aamirah begged her to stay. She is so scared to stay alone because she believes he will jump out any second and touch her over and over again just like he used to. Faridah didn't even ask or protest rather she nod her head sitting beside her worriedly.

They stayed in silent.

With only Aamirah's tears falling from her eyes.

It wasn't until Faridah started falling asleep slowly around nine am that the door bell rang. She woke up from sleep. "I think it's Ya Khaleel, let me open the door for him"

Aamirah started panicking. "But.. I will be all alone. He can take me away!"

"Adda Aamirah no one is here, I promise" the door bell rang again desperately.

"He is cunning Faridah, he is hiding somewhere. Check behind the curtain" the door bell rang again.

"Adda Aamirah no one is here"

The door bell rang again followed by rapid knock on the door!

"Let me get the door, only two seconds, I promise"

Aamirah sighed crying sitting up. She hugged her knees to her chest. "Is it Khaleel?"

"Yes. Let me get him"

"Okay.. I'll close my eyes till then. Only two seconds right?"

Faridah nod her head worried about her health. When Aamirah closed her eyes, she quickly ran to the living room and pulled the door open, a worried, annoyed Khaleel met her by the door.

"What is going on? I've been ringing the bell!"

"She won't let me leave.. something is wrong with her Ya Khaleel"

Khaleel sighed. "It's okay Faridah, I'll take care of it. Don't you have lectures today?"

"I already missed the first one"

"I'm sorry about it. Go ahead if you-" he was caught short when he heard the heart gripping yell from Aamirah. Faridah stared at him worriedly, "Go to her!"

Without wasting another second, he ran to the room only to meet Aamirah curled on the bed yelling and crying. Khaleel shut the door behind him before quickly moving to her. His heartbroken, traumatized, broken wife. Khaleel embraced her in a hug.

"Shh, I'm here Mimi, I'm here for you"

"Khaleel?"

"Na'am Aamirah?"

She broke into tears hugging him.

"Khaleel don't leave me please. He is coming for me again.."

He kissed her forehead sweetly, "No one is coming for you, love"

"Will you rape me too?"

He should have taken offence but he did not!

Batool warned him about something like this. She told him she might say something to hurt his ego but he shouldn't take it personal because she just needs assurance.

Just like Ya Zeezee said, space, love and assurance.

"No my love, I will never do that"

"But.. you want to touch me too. Right?"

He inhaled deeply thinking about his answer. "Yes, I want to, only if you allow me. It all depends on you Aamirah, it's your choice and your body. I can't force you to do anything.. it is your body!"

She cried some more.

"No one ever gave me the choice to choose! He always took what he wanted"

The thought of that happening to any woman makes him sick to death.

"I am giving you the choice Aamirah. It is your choice! Always"

"Okay.." she whispered

"Okay.." he echoed back.

"My legs feel numb.." she said after a short pause of silence. Khaleel quickly move away from the hug so he can inspect her legs. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"No. I just need to take a shower"

He nod his head understanding. "Can you walk?"

"Yes, but hold me"

Khaleel chuckled at her words. He slowly helped her up before guiding her to the bathroom. She has stained her clothes because when she realized, she broke down into more tears trying to strip down.

He turned to leave,

"Where are you going?" Aamirah asked in a hoarse voice. "are you leaving me?"

"No Mimi. I'm just stepping out to give you some privacy"

"But, he will come"

"Aamirah, no one is here, love"

Her lips wobbled. "Just stay with me, please. I won't take long"

Khaleel sighed feeling overly overwhelmed. "Aamirah your having a very terrible episode and your traumatised, I don't want to do this to you"

"I am scared Khaleel"

At that moment she looks very vulnerable he can feel his heart breaking for her. Aching for her. Begging to be with her.

"You have nothing to be scared of, it's just me"

She moved closer until she is hugging him so tight. "Please Khaleel, please, please, please stay with me"

The tears block his throat. He let out a deep breath, "Okay Aamirah. I'll stay with you"

"Thank you"

"Let me run the bath for you" he offered and she nod her head moving backwards. Khaleel arranged the temperature of the water for her before moving back and staying by the door. Aamirah was not hesitant to strip down in front of him, it feels as if he is the only one nervous about the intimacy clouding the bathroom.

He tried giving her some privacy but it seems hard to take his eyes off her.

Khaleel tried not to focus on them, the scars decorating her body but it was impossible. Visible, hard, deep scars. The feeling returned, of rage and disgust that someone will do such a thing to her. His Mimi.

Aamirah took her time taking a shower. When she finished, Khaleel was quick to wrap a towel around her body. She moved to the basin and got on with her business before changing into fresh underwear and brushing her teeth.

Khaleel noticed how she glanced at him every few seconds to make sure he is still there. He has seen Aamirah go through her episodes before but this time.. it different than before. It's different than anything he has ever seen or heard of.

"Are you done?" He asked when she dropped her brush and rinsed her face off.

"Yes"

He moved closer holding her hand in his before slowly kissing her knuckles. "Let's get you dressed" when they reached the room, she sat on the bed while Khaleel rummaged through her closet trying to find the most comfortable outfit for her to wear. He found a pair of joggers and his white T-shirt so she can wear.

Aamirah didn't even glance at the clothes rather she just pulled it on with his help. He kissed her forehead letting her hug him trying to find some comfort.

"Have you eaten?" He asked.

"No"

He sighed, "Let's go and eat" he said knowing there is no way she will stay in the room alone. They moved to the kitchen where they found Faridah setting the table. She glanced at them worriedly, "I made breakfast"

"Thank you Faridah" Khaleel replied. He noticed she is already dressed up, "are you going for school?"

"Yes, I also have to travel home today, since your back now"

"Of course. The driver is outside, go with him"

"Alright, good bye Ya Khaleel. Adda Aamirah take care, Allah ya Kara lafia"

"Ameen Faridah, thank you for everything" Aamirah replied hugging her briefly. When she left, Khaleel opened the warmer of food, he found neatly stacked yummy pancakes with shredded meat and vegetables filling. Aamirah instantly drooled at the food before sitting on the chair beside Khaleel. He served them in one plate.

"Do you want tea?" He asked and she nod her head taking a bite of her breakfast. Khaleel made a quick cup of tea for her before preparing coffee for himself. They ate in silence until there is no more of the food and beverage.

By the time they moved back to the room, Khaleel searched the drawers for some ibuprofen for her. He found them and handed it to her hoping it will relieve her cramps. They finally laid in bed, cuddled in and thinking about nothing.

It feels peaceful.

So peaceful just to lay down with Khaleel by her side running his hand on her back comfortingly.

She feels at ease.

As if she can finally sleep.. but when she closes her eyes, all she can see is her rapist. Trying to take her away, again.

Khaleel felt her gasping for air and crying so hard, he hugged her closer.

"Your safe"

"He is coming for me"

"No he isn't. No one is coming for you Aamirah"

"But.. I can't sleep, he touches me, even in my dreams"

Khaleel sighed thinking of ways to get her to sleep. He knows it's either he gives her sleeping pills or let her stay awake until her body is beyond exhausted.

"Let me make a call," he said reaching out to get his phone from the bedside table. He called Ya Maamah immediately asking her to please send her driver over since his driver is away to drop Faridah off in school.

Aamirah sat up hastily, "I want to get my letters" she said moving the the closet and grabbing her stacks of 'healing' letters. Khaleel watched her admiringly, she sat down beside him pressing her body in between his arms.

"Read the letters" she gave him the first one.

Khaleel gasped nervous about what he is about to read..

He knows Aamirah has been through a lot but he doesn't know the details.

He inhaled deeply, "Aamirah.. are you sure?"

"Yes" she breathe. "I want you to know"

"Okay.."

He kissed her forehead before opening the letter carefully, nervously..

"Part one; The Summer I fell Apart...." He took a deep breath.

"Dear Ya Ashraf,"

****
Sincere apologies for the late update. I had the worst writer's block and I could not get over it at all.

Until I came across a beautiful comment by leema_mustee It motivated me to write this chapter. I can't remember the exact chapter she wrote the comment but I remember taking a screenshot hoping to reply when I'm online. But yes, I totally forgot🤦 so sorry but if you are reading this, just know you inspired me to write again. Love, love you girl❤️❤️

So.. how deep and beautiful is this chapter? I hope it's not boring🥺

I am so excited for Khaleel to read the letters. How do you think he will react?

For those of you that don't know, I host weekly quizzes on my Instagram story on all my books!!! It's so fun.. go and follow my Instagram account (ammarhhh_) to be part of the quizzes.

Vote, comment and share.

Love, Ammah❤️❤️