Sudan Khartoum.

Rahmerh_

***

Khaleel was a shamble of mess as he strolled down the halls of the office which was covered with motivational quotes from different inspirational people. He glanced at the pictures of Malala Yousafazi, then at Mohammed Ali when he read the quote under his picture, he smiled.

'He who doesn't take risk is not courageous enough'

But is he willing to this risk?

Can he do it?

Ya Rabb!

He nods at some employers who were calling it a day as they bid him goodbye.

If only they know how much tension he is going through right now..

He has always been a man who made decisions, good decisions but now.. He can't even think straight. He needs to talk to someone, someone who will advice him and understand the situation he is in. Maybe Batool but just thinking about it make him cringe or Ya Maama.. Definitely not!

Stepping on the brakes, he turned off the car before getting down in the three story building. It was late, the sun is already setting, slowly. He walked inside the house which was surprisingly opened and just when he walked in the kitchen to get a glass of cold water he frowned.

"Drop that knife!" He growled angrily

Aamirah who was startled let the knife fall on the ground before looking down at the floor in shame.

"What is wrong with you?! Is it not enough you lied to me about needing to use the restroom in the mall where you dug on your lap with a nail cutter" he asked booming with anger

Aamirah looked up at him shocked. She has never since him like this, he never talked to her that way or acted that way, at least in front of her he didn't but now.. He looked so angry he can snap her into two with his fingers. His muscles were tense, he had tighten his knuckles so hard they turned white. The veins on his forehead popped out, stood out, prominent. Ya Allah. He looked so scary.

"Why don't you just dig the knife on your veins, you will feel something. Anything"

She gasped, the tears were already falling down her face but he couldn't see because his back is to her as he opened the fridge with so much force she was afraid it will collapse.

"I wouldn't have chosen this illness on myself if I had a chance. You will never know how it feels to have scars all over your body and the worst part is you inflicted them upon yourself.." She spoke, gradually, meaning every word that came out from her mouth.

He didn't flinch or turn to look at her instead he stared at the open fridge.

"Thank you for the tip. Next time, when I am having my episode or whatever I will be sure to rip out of veins" and with that she turned around and left the kitchen with painful tears rolling down her cheek.

She thought he understands her.

But he is just like everyone else. She thought maybe he is different from the rest of the male spices in her life but he is just the same. Maybe even more. And to think that at a point of her stay with him she felt something for him makes her sick to her stomach..

Khaleel muttered all sorts of dua's he knew so he can calm down and register what happened and when he finally did, he closed the fridge and slumped on the kitchen stool. What was wrong with him? He is not the one to loose his temper like that but today he let his anger get the best of him. Yes he was angry but Aamirah didn't deserve all what he said to her, it is so wrong of him to take it out on her when she herself is going through a lot.

He sighed. When his phone rang in his pockets he almost declined the call but as the ID displayed Ya Maama he just couldn't bring himself to reject her call.

"Assalam Alaikum" he said trying so hard to hide his emotions in his voice. the woman will not let him be until he tells her everything that is wrong with him which he can't do. Not right now at least.

"Wa'alaikum salaam. So which one is better, the morning flight or the night flight?"

She didn't notice.

"Huh?" He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"I'm coming to Sudan!"

This woman.

"You deserve an oscar Ya Maama"

"Kaniyan ka. *insult*"

He laughed.

"But on a more serious note Khaleel when are you coming home?" He sighed. "Listen if you won't come home for me or Zeezee or Aisha or your nieces and nephews please come home for your wife. It's not fair on her honestly I don't know why she is still here when she can fly over there and drag you home! You can't just keep her in a big house all by herself with only maids as her company.. Come to your wife, even if it's for two days"

He closed his eyes tightly. He missed her, he misses his wife so much it hurts but work..

SubhanaAllah! He has been neglecting his wife with work as an excuse. What is wrong with him?

"Ya salaam! I didn't even think of it that way.."

"Baba is sick"

He is sure his heart missed a beat. Now this is something he can't dismiss, not in his wildest dream.

"How sick?" He held his breath waiting for the worst.

"Hospital sick"

He exhaled. Innalilahi wa'ina ilaihi rajiun.

"Why didn't you tell me? Is he fine?"

"They admitted him yesterday but he is better now Alhamdulilah. Just the normal, you know Baba, he hates drugs"

Typical. "InshaAllah I'll be there tomorrow"

"Okay toh. Morning flight?" He nods his head and when he realized she can't see him he whispered yes.

He smiled, "and don't tell Batool, it's a surprise"

Ya Maama laughed, "okay Romeo, wow my baby"

He laughed hanging up. The house was eerily quite which made him wonder where the girls were. He walked to aunty Kuthum's room were Jameelah was giving her a leg massage. They talked for a while and prayed for his father's health while wishing him a safe trip tomorrow morning.

"Where is Myra?" He asked

"She has a test tomorrow so she is reading her mind out"

"Ah obviously"

The call to prayer halted their conversation as everyone ran to offer their Maghrib prayers.

***

Khaleel grabbed his backpack and packed his bag, he has a closet full of clothes back at home so no need for a trolley. Grabbing his phone and cord, he closed the zipper of the bag before walking to aunty Kulthum's room were she prayed for him. He left beaming. He loves it when people pray for him especially his aunt because when she did so, it reminds him of his mother.

Stopping at JamJam's room, he decided to knock but when the door was pushed open slightly, he peeped. Jameelah was nowhere to be found but Aamirah was cuddled up on the bed. He thought maybe she went back to sleep after Fajr so he left, down the stairs and to the kitchen were Kabeer and JamJam were talking.

"Good morning" he greeted the two who smiled at him. Kabeer volunteered to drop him at the airport when they talked on the phone the previous night so seeing him as early as six am wasn't that much of a shock.

He turned around to make a quick cup of coffee while the two talked. "Can I please drink my tea in peace?" JamJam asked somehow irriated.

"Your allowed to speak like that to me wifey"

She hissed. "I am not your wife"

"But you will be eventually"

She glared at him. "No"

"But your the mother of my unborn children. Wait.. You want us to like, do it without getting married.. Ya salaam!" He teased and Khaleel is already feeling sorry for his best friend. JamJam will murder him.

"This is too much. Please" it was as if Kabeer could feel the truthfulness in her voice or something but immediately she said that he nods his head and walked out of the kitchen.

"What was that?" Khaleel asked JamJam who washed her empty mug.

"I don't know"

"JamJam..-" She cut him off by wishing him a safe trip and then she disappeared. Just like that. After gulping down his coffee, he met Kabeer in the living room before they entered his car.

"Man your cousin is driving me nuts" Kabeer said as he drive out the gate of the house.

"Maybe I should make things official. Do you think I should talk to her dad?"

Khaleel furrowed his eyebrows, "You know how JamJam is when it comes to her dad. Don't ruin things, don't you dare"

He sighed. "I know but Ya Allah I want her. I need her so bad. I love her because of Allah and everyday I wake up and realize she is not mine I feel like dying. She wants me too, I can feel it but she is just so confusing. Why is she doing this to us? She keeps rejecting me, it's hurts wallahi but what can I do?"

Khaleel felt for his friend, so much. He can't even imagine what he is going through. He has never been in this type of situation were the girl he loves runs away from him. Never. With Batool it was easy because she loves him too and they basically grew up together, she was his best friend since secondary school days even though he was her senior but they always kept in touch, even after he left for university. So when he proposed it felt natural, like she was expecting it because they were madly in love and their connection is just on another level.

"I am sorry man. I'll talk to Batool maybe she will know what's up with JamJam, they are close" he said after a while. He didn't know what to say that will make him feel better, he has never been there.

"Really? Thank man"

"Anytime man"

They laughed and talked some more until they reached the airport were they parted ways.

Meanwhile Aamirah was burning, bit by bit. The intense heat of her heart is almost unbearble. Eventually she was going to fall but right now her heart is a battle field of raging emotions.

***
Sighs.. That was.. Someone help me out over here😶💔

What made Khaleel so mad?

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