Abuja, Nigeria.

***

In a way, Aamirah saw this coming but many times she tried to convince herself that things will not turn out this way. But the reality is a hard pill to swallow. Khaleel had left her all alone refusing to acknowledge a part of her, refusing to embrace and love the most precious and sensitive part of her.

Vividly, after drowning herself in tears and sorrow, she heard him come home. The roar sound of his car driving through the gate.

The soft steps of his foot kissing the cold tiled floor, the careful movements of his hands unlocking and locking the door.

For a minute, he was quiet. Before she heard his loud breathing and after a couple seconds, the soft steps returned. He walked away. So easily from her.

Aamirah cried some more. If he can pull himself away from her this easy then he can definitely let her go.

Of course he can! He proposed the deal right from the beginning.

The bright morning sun shine through her windows. Somehow, she forgot to pull the curtains last night but then again she forgot to do lots of things last night. Like holding onto Khaleel, feeling the wave of his softness pour over her and his cool steady breathing fanning her face. It has been a long night. One she didn't anticipate even a little bit.

When she pulled herself up from bed. She freshened up quickly before getting a medium sized travelling bag that is stacked in the far end of the closet before rearranging her clothes in it.

With each clothing she arranged inside the bag, the more nervous she feels. In some hours time, she is going to see her mother. For the first time in so many years. Ya Rabbi! This is excitingly amazing to think!

Aamirah is too busy packing that she almost missed the short knock on the door. Almost. She froze for a minute waiting to hear any confirmation that Khaleel is standing right across the door.

"Assalamualaikum Aamirah.."

The toe curling voice that gets her all the time.

Subhanalilah! This is harder than she thought.

"Just a minute" she called almost breathless before putting away her underwear and shifting to pull the door open.

"Good morning Mimi. How was your night?" He asked casually.. as if none of last night happened!

"Fine Alhamdulilah"

Khaleel nod his head. "Our flight is in three hours time. I was thinking maybe we can visit Ya Maamah? she has been asking to see you.. Of course that's if you want.."

Aamirah bit her lip. "Okay"

"You don't have to, Aamirah"

Her toes curled up almost immediately. She can feel her heart racing faster and her stomach fluttering in delight. The toe curling Aamirah!

"I know Khaleel"

He nod his head.

"Can I visit Batool too? This might be the last time we will meet"

His shoulders tensed up.

"One last time.."

He inhaled sharply. Suddenly, his words failed him so he simply nodded and turned around to leave her. Right there. Without any word. Without any explanation or apology because nothing he will say can justify his actions. In this, he is guilty because certainly there is a part of Aamirah that he doesn't feel like he needs to know and embrace.

It's of no use!

So he let go.

Walking away further from her and feeling something break inside him.

Something he knows way too well...

Ya Allah, his pieces!

***

Aamirah hold onto Safeeya closely. The little girl bounced up and down in her arms licking the lollipop Khaleel gave her earlier. She leaned into Aamirah's chest laying her head on it in the process melting her heart.

They came to visit Ya Maamah and immediately when they walked in, Safeeya, Ya Zeezee's last born came running towards Aamirah. She has somehow taken such a great liking towards her.

"Did you hear about JamJam and Kabeer?" Khaleel asked holding Layla, Ya Maamah's last born in his arms. The older kids are off in Ya Aisha's house for a sleepover.

"No.. what about them?" Ya Maamah asked.

"They got married"

Ya Maamah gasped placing her hand on her chest, "Are you serious? But.. Aunty Kulthum is here in Nigeria and they are.." she trailed off.

"I think they were too eager to wait for her"

Ya Maamah laughed, "I'll call her later Inshallah. May Allah bless their union. I'm so happy for Jameelah, she deserves all the happiness Kabeer is giving her"

Khaleel nod his muttering ameen under his breath. After a short while of hanging around, he decided to come out in the open.

"Actually, Aamirah and I are travelling today"

Ya Maamah glanced at him. "Ohh! Where to?"

"Maiduguri state"

"For what?"

Khaleel tapped his feet lightly on the carpet before glancing at Aamirah nervously. He knows Ya Maamah will ask questions but no matter how hard he tried to come up with something, lying to Ya Maamah is the last thing he wants to do.

Aamirah noticed the discomfort on Khaleel's face. Without thinking her words through, she blurted out. "We are going to visit my mother"

Ya Maamah frowned, baffled. "Your mother is here?"

That is when she realized this is far gone deep. There is no way out of this situation they found themselves in. Suddenly, she feels the need to be honest with Ya Maamah. The tears roll down her face silently, she can't even imagine how Ya Maamah will react when she finds out her whole story. Or if Khaleel's family will actually accept her the way she is.

"Subhanalilah. What is going on? Aamirah, why are you crying? Is everything okay?" Ya Maamah asked worriedly.

She glanced at Khaleel shocked, "what's wrong with her?"

Aamirah sniffed back her tears trying to pull herself together. Before she could say anything, Ya Maamah continued talking.

"It will be okay Aamirah.." she then smiled and changed the topic swiftly because she knows Aamirah is uncomfortable about the matter.

Afterwards, they decided to leave because time is running out and they have one more stop but Ya Maamah insist they eat lunch so without a choice, they stayed back and eat the fresh delicious bowl of chicken soup and fried rice with a chilled cup of orange juice.

"Ya Maamah, we have to run now. Thank you for the delicious lunch" Khaleel said almost an hour later.

"Wait for dessert, the cupcakes are just cooling off"

"Ya Maamah we are seriously late.."

"Okay" she sighed, "Let me at least get something, wait a minute.."

Khaleel nod his head reluctantly. When Ya Maamah returned with a brown paper bag in her hand, a smile carve on his lips.

"Here, give this to your mother. It's not much because I had no idea you were visiting her today.." she said handing it to Aamirah who nearly cried from gratitude.

She hugged Ya Maamah feeling overly blessed and grateful she had the chance of meeting her because next to Batool, she is the nicest most kind hearted person she knows.

"Thank you Ya Maamah, May Allah reward you abundantly"

"Ameen and you too, safe journey. Call me when you get there"

She hugged her one more time before waving goodbye, up until they drove far far away.

"We've spent much time at Ya Maamah's" Khaleel said, as if her earlier meltdown didn't happen and for once she is glad no one is acknowledging or pushing her to it.

"Our meeting with Batool has to be short if not we will miss our flight"

She nod her head understanding, "I only need a couple of minutes"

Just to say goodbye and thank Batool thoroughly for everything, to apologize, again and some more for disrupting her home. To hug and kiss Raina and memorize the feel of her chunky hands on her face. It's all she needs. Just a few minutes.

***

The air feels different. So different and hot hitting her skin harshly and awakening all dead sides of her. She can feel the bile rising up her throat and her sweaty palms holding on tight to her handbag. Everything feels heated. So heated and scary.

When she walked through the door of the airport, she nearly lost her footing. She can't believe the day is finally here.. the day she is meeting her mother after all this years! Oh Allah! Sustain me! She prayed following Khaleel to the car waiting for them.

"Aamirah!"

She looked up at Khaleel who is staring at her worriedly.

"I've been calling you"

"Subhanalilah, I'm sorry.. what did you say?"

He flicked his tongue shaking his head sideways as if slightly annoyed. Then he said "Do you want to visit them now?"

"Yes" she breathe.

"Okay.."

That was it. Nothing like you will be fine Aamirah or holding hands or random secret smile.. nothing at all because Khaleel was on the phone call all through the drive until the driver pulled over in front of a large house.

"Is this the place?"

The driver nod his head, "Yes, this is Alhaji Hayatu Yunus house. Didn't you say the business man.. the owner of multiple supermarkets?"

Khaleel nod his head. That's exactly what Talha told him.

"Then this is the house"

"Okay.." Khaleel exhaled feeling anxious. He can't believe this is the end of his journey with Aamirah. A part of him wants to ask her not to leave but another part feels like it's for the best. This was the deal after all.. wasn't it?

Aamirah couldn't move though.. She watched the house with a racing heartbeat and unsteady shaking hands. In that moment, it feels like she is drenched with cold freezing water so she watched the house intesetly until a girl walked out. A girl who she can recognize anywhere. A girl who looks so much like Ya Ashraf it's scary.

She is wearing a big black veil over her clothes walking besides a boy, who is much taller than her. They stopped by the door laughing and talking lowly which deprived a gasp from Aamirah.

"What is it?" Khaleel asked alarmed.

"Khaleel.. Khaleel.. that is Amina. Innalilahi wa'ina ilayhi raji'un. She is so big. Oh Ya Rabbi!" The tears flowed freely from her face.

Amina stormed her feet on the ground slightly annoyed while the boys beside her laughed. After a couple minutes of talking, the boy nod his head and walked away while Amina walked back inside the big black gate.

It almost killed him to ask, "Mimi, shall we?"

For Aamirah, the tug of war with her heart began. She is very aware that her mother is just across her but her heart is not ready to leave Khaleel. Just like that. Without any last words or intimate, beautiful moment. Without hugging him one last time or feeling his heartbeat against her heart. She needs a moment. Just one moment where there is no long awkward stretch between them.

"No" she whispered blinking away her tears.

Khaleel stared at her baffled. "What?"

"I need one more night Khaleel"

Without asking any questions, he nod his head willingly before asking the driver to take them to the best hotel in town simply because he was so wrecked up to reserve anything for the night.

Just when he thought he figured Aamirah out she proved him wrong.

And this time he likes her surprise because maybe there is an opportunity for them to figure everything out.

Maybe his shy struck beautiful girl is coming home with him..

At long last.